I have stayed away from posting to this thread because the damage done to my children is a very real and present concern in my life and theirs. We are just now dealing with some of the issues TWI created and I have no desire for any of my children to find current information about what is going on in their lives, thanks to TWI, popping up on a search engine. Even if I hide their names etc, they are very smart and will know I have betrayed confidences and our private discussions. This I cannot do.
I can however, safely express my feelings about certain key elements of one of the problems.
minicorpse, hit the nail on the head, IMO, with his post.
There was no true laughter in TWI. Oh sure we laughed privately amoung ourselves with close friends. We laughed at the "appropriate" times when leadership told what passed for a "joke". We kidded around etc, in approved and sanctioned ways. But spontaneous gut shaking laughter, that springs from the unexpected event or statement, was not something you found happening very ofen. On the rare occassions it did there were usually swift and unpleasant repercussions.
Laughter and fun like eveything in TWI had to be examined and regulated. Laughter that is examined and regulated ceases to be laughter and instead becomes a travesty of expression.
Yet laughter can teach far more effectively than many a lecture. Case in point
Me: ( in a adult gospel doctrine class about forgiveness) "So let us say that I have a real anger against MD and I just won't let it go. I decide one night to go to the grocery store up on 13th and Gambell with my friend P--- and as we are pulling out of the parking lot we are hit head on by a drunk driver coming from the bar across the street and I am killed. So now I am dead and I will face God and Jesus Christ having never practiced forgiveness toward MD. So think on that for a minute and then think about people you are angry at and "can't " forgive. Is it worth it??
JB: well the other side of the story is that the person who I am justifiably angry with will have to stand before God and Jesus Christ when God has never been asked to stay his vengence from her!
And the entire class just exploded in laughter including me. We then went on to have an excellent discussion about forgiveness in general and specific ways to go about forgiving others.
Imagine such a scenario in TWI and the repercussions if it happened!!!
People who are too afraid to let honest emotion bubble to the surface are going to be too afraid to express their own doubts, concerns, and weak spots, in the very settings that should exist for just that pupose and the healing of same.
I was put into the way by my family when I was 6 years old. We went through the way corps then into romecity bible collage. The things that have happend to me in those years will never be forgotton. I am so scared that I will but my kids through the things I went through I have a hard time going to church. I love god very much but I don't know how to teach my children without feelings the things I felt having gone through this. I have a hard time trusting anyone with my boys because of the way they separeted me from my parents in the corps and the things that happend to me.
I was put into the way by my family when I was 6 years old. We went through the way corps then into romecity bible collage. The things that have happend to me in those years will never be forgotton. I am so scared that I will but my kids through the things I went through I have a hard time going to church. I love god very much but I don't know how to teach my children without feelings the things I felt having gone through this. I have a hard time trusting anyone with my boys because of the way they separeted me from my parents in the corps and the things that happend to me.
I'm not sure what to teach my kids either. "Stay away from New Knoxville, its full of corn-husking leeches" is one thing I may tell them.
Crystal's is a real problem. It's a post trauma world many of us ex Rome City kids live in. We are so hurt we almost don't trust ourselves and live in fear of making the same mistakes our parents may have made because we might want to put our *faith* in God and attend a church and instill faith into our kids, but we shudder at the thought.
Note to TWI: this is what happens when you abuse people. Years later we are still wounded and it effects our ability to make certain decisions. Thanks!
I think once they got to be adults we shift our thinking some.
I have anyways.
now they make their own choices and their own mistakes with their children.
and they do not want to make the same mistakes their father and I did.
they wont they will have new ones to carry.
but i can only go so far and claim the all truth in knowing how to d it without damage.
divorce hurts kids, and yet look at the stats on that and how the parents fight.
alcohol and drug abuse in families. a handicapped or very sick child can rob the healthy ones from their needs. a sick parent can not meet the needs of a child , life is messy .
twi is one factor but I ask be gentle with them and you forgive yourself and them.
we are only human God knows. parenting is a long haul , talk to them allow them the peace of knowing mistakes happen because we didnt know then what we know now. because some day they will also learn about the fact when we know better we do better.
I was an adult when I entered TWI. Did the classes, the twig-leader trip, then Family Corps training, then got marked and avoided. The kids were there for the whole trip. I know that I myself still have some pretty drastic "issues" directly resulting from my experience in the Way.
Sometimes I wonder whether TWI children are more severely harmed than the adults, since they are exposed to this junk at such a formative time in their development.
And other times I wonder if these kids will fare much better in the long run (assuming they get out of TWI of course), because children are much more resilient than adults are.
Crystal, stay protective of your children. But give them the freedom you were not allowed as a child. It's possible to do both at the same time. I hope they have another parent who was not brought up in the Way, so there is someone to refer to when you're not sure about raising your kids.
Bolshevik, train a child up in the way he or she should go ... not in the Way.
I would just teach them about God's love and that God made everything they see and loves them very much.
Last fall I was keeping my grandson overnight. There was an incredibly beautiful harvest moon hanging in the eastern sky. I brought him to the window to look at it. He was amazed. He said, "Wow, Wow, Wow!"
I asked him, "Who made the moon?"
"YEE-SUS!" He replied with joy, and went to phone his mom. "Mommie, mommie, I saw the harvest moon, and Yee-sus made it!"
He learned that in Sunday school. Kids don't need wooden spoonss when they're little. They need to know God loves them, God made everything and will always be there for them.
Check out some Veggie Tales. They are fun and kids like them.
I thank God my precious grandson was never near TWI.
I agree, exy and WG. Tell your kids what you believe, not what they have to believe. Even if you don't "know that you know" anymore, teach them that. They will line up what you're sayin' with what you're doin'.
If a squash can make you smile..." (Veggie Tales theme song)
Grandson and I sing this in the car somtimes, along with
"Our God is an awesome God!
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love!
Our God is an awesome God!"
Songs like this teach kids about God too. I want my grandson to think and speak of God with a smile and a song and joy. He is an energetic little guy who loves Sunday School and got to participate in a VBS program at church called Avalanche Ranch which I heartily recommend to anyone with preschool through 5th grade kids whose neighborhood church is using this program. I think I learned more than most of the kiddie-winkies.
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minicorpse
wow, thanks so much for those links belle! now i have something to do for the next 5 hours...
also, i just want to add: GIVEAWAY! OH THE AGONY! BARF!!!
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templelady
I have stayed away from posting to this thread because the damage done to my children is a very real and present concern in my life and theirs. We are just now dealing with some of the issues TWI created and I have no desire for any of my children to find current information about what is going on in their lives, thanks to TWI, popping up on a search engine. Even if I hide their names etc, they are very smart and will know I have betrayed confidences and our private discussions. This I cannot do.
I can however, safely express my feelings about certain key elements of one of the problems.
minicorpse, hit the nail on the head, IMO, with his post.
There was no true laughter in TWI. Oh sure we laughed privately amoung ourselves with close friends. We laughed at the "appropriate" times when leadership told what passed for a "joke". We kidded around etc, in approved and sanctioned ways. But spontaneous gut shaking laughter, that springs from the unexpected event or statement, was not something you found happening very ofen. On the rare occassions it did there were usually swift and unpleasant repercussions.
Laughter and fun like eveything in TWI had to be examined and regulated. Laughter that is examined and regulated ceases to be laughter and instead becomes a travesty of expression.
Yet laughter can teach far more effectively than many a lecture. Case in point
Me: ( in a adult gospel doctrine class about forgiveness) "So let us say that I have a real anger against MD and I just won't let it go. I decide one night to go to the grocery store up on 13th and Gambell with my friend P--- and as we are pulling out of the parking lot we are hit head on by a drunk driver coming from the bar across the street and I am killed. So now I am dead and I will face God and Jesus Christ having never practiced forgiveness toward MD. So think on that for a minute and then think about people you are angry at and "can't " forgive. Is it worth it??
JB: well the other side of the story is that the person who I am justifiably angry with will have to stand before God and Jesus Christ when God has never been asked to stay his vengence from her!
And the entire class just exploded in laughter including me. We then went on to have an excellent discussion about forgiveness in general and specific ways to go about forgiving others.
Imagine such a scenario in TWI and the repercussions if it happened!!!
People who are too afraid to let honest emotion bubble to the surface are going to be too afraid to express their own doubts, concerns, and weak spots, in the very settings that should exist for just that pupose and the healing of same.
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crystal r
I was put into the way by my family when I was 6 years old. We went through the way corps then into romecity bible collage. The things that have happend to me in those years will never be forgotton. I am so scared that I will but my kids through the things I went through I have a hard time going to church. I love god very much but I don't know how to teach my children without feelings the things I felt having gone through this. I have a hard time trusting anyone with my boys because of the way they separeted me from my parents in the corps and the things that happend to me.
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Bolshevik
I'm not sure what to teach my kids either. "Stay away from New Knoxville, its full of corn-husking leeches" is one thing I may tell them.
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Georgio Jessio
Crystal's is a real problem. It's a post trauma world many of us ex Rome City kids live in. We are so hurt we almost don't trust ourselves and live in fear of making the same mistakes our parents may have made because we might want to put our *faith* in God and attend a church and instill faith into our kids, but we shudder at the thought.
Note to TWI: this is what happens when you abuse people. Years later we are still wounded and it effects our ability to make certain decisions. Thanks!
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excathedra
dear crystal
i talk to god every day (i don't go to church) and i talk to him about my son and about me as a mom
and i ask him / trust him (whatev) to love me enough to help me be a good mom
it seems to be okay
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pond
I think once they got to be adults we shift our thinking some.
I have anyways.
now they make their own choices and their own mistakes with their children.
and they do not want to make the same mistakes their father and I did.
they wont they will have new ones to carry.
but i can only go so far and claim the all truth in knowing how to d it without damage.
divorce hurts kids, and yet look at the stats on that and how the parents fight.
alcohol and drug abuse in families. a handicapped or very sick child can rob the healthy ones from their needs. a sick parent can not meet the needs of a child , life is messy .
twi is one factor but I ask be gentle with them and you forgive yourself and them.
we are only human God knows. parenting is a long haul , talk to them allow them the peace of knowing mistakes happen because we didnt know then what we know now. because some day they will also learn about the fact when we know better we do better.
I
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Shifra
I was an adult when I entered TWI. Did the classes, the twig-leader trip, then Family Corps training, then got marked and avoided. The kids were there for the whole trip. I know that I myself still have some pretty drastic "issues" directly resulting from my experience in the Way.
Sometimes I wonder whether TWI children are more severely harmed than the adults, since they are exposed to this junk at such a formative time in their development.
And other times I wonder if these kids will fare much better in the long run (assuming they get out of TWI of course), because children are much more resilient than adults are.
Crystal, stay protective of your children. But give them the freedom you were not allowed as a child. It's possible to do both at the same time. I hope they have another parent who was not brought up in the Way, so there is someone to refer to when you're not sure about raising your kids.
Bolshevik, train a child up in the way he or she should go ... not in the Way.
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Watered Garden
I would just teach them about God's love and that God made everything they see and loves them very much.
Last fall I was keeping my grandson overnight. There was an incredibly beautiful harvest moon hanging in the eastern sky. I brought him to the window to look at it. He was amazed. He said, "Wow, Wow, Wow!"
I asked him, "Who made the moon?"
"YEE-SUS!" He replied with joy, and went to phone his mom. "Mommie, mommie, I saw the harvest moon, and Yee-sus made it!"
He learned that in Sunday school. Kids don't need wooden spoonss when they're little. They need to know God loves them, God made everything and will always be there for them.
Check out some Veggie Tales. They are fun and kids like them.
I thank God my precious grandson was never near TWI.
WG
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shazdancer
I agree, exy and WG. Tell your kids what you believe, not what they have to believe. Even if you don't "know that you know" anymore, teach them that. They will line up what you're sayin' with what you're doin'.
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waysider
"They need to know God loves them, God made everything and will always be there for them."
---------WG--------------
Maybe that's all we adults really need to know as well.
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Bolshevik
Hey I watch Veggie Tales for my own benefit.
(I missed a few good lessons being raised in twi)
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Watered Garden
"If you like to talk to tomatoes,
If a squash can make you smile..." (Veggie Tales theme song)
Grandson and I sing this in the car somtimes, along with
"Our God is an awesome God!
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love!
Our God is an awesome God!"
Songs like this teach kids about God too. I want my grandson to think and speak of God with a smile and a song and joy. He is an energetic little guy who loves Sunday School and got to participate in a VBS program at church called Avalanche Ranch which I heartily recommend to anyone with preschool through 5th grade kids whose neighborhood church is using this program. I think I learned more than most of the kiddie-winkies.
WG
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