I Must Be Brain Dead

[satori001]

I'm 88. Had a good life, overall. Smoked for a while but quit in the 70's. Took lots of vitamins, followed Linus Pauling and others. Got lots of exercise, walking and calisthenics of one kind or another.

Okay, so I have CHF, and COPD, and kidney failure (creatinine is a couple points high). The swelling in my legs and feet comes and goes, but I've learned to live with it. In the past year I've gone from walking on my own, to needing a cane, needing a walker, and until yesterday a wheel chair. But I've learned to live with it.

Yesterday, the damnedest thing happened, though I don't exactly remember how. I was up early, before 6am. I was getting out of my wheel chair. Standing up sets that beeper off, and that lets the staff know I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Something caused me to fall backward, right on my butt, back and head. I saw stars and thought I'll be lucky if I survive this. The staff heard the beep, but didn't check it out in time. They found me there on the floor, flat on my back. Not a damn thing to break my fall. They took me back to my bed and checked me over for anything broken. Didn't need to do an x-ray.

A couple of hours later I felt fine, other than some soreness at the base of my spine where I fell. I still felt good and sang a solo for my wife, who shares the room with me while we convalesce (we have different health problems, though she recently got her pacemaker too), until we get back home.

Throughout yesterday though, I felt worse and wondered if I'd done some real damage. The staff asked me if I was alright, more often than usual, so they must have noticed. I was a little out of it, moreso than usual I guess. My memory isn't so great either. Around 5 pm I really didn't feel well. My head hurt so I asked for a couple of Tylenol, which the nice nurse got for me. I couldn't decide whether to have dinner in the room or down in the dining room, and finally decided the dining room would be better, where there were people around, and I could get help if I needed it. About a half hour later, the sick feeling just overpowered me. I began to throw up and then passed out.

They brought me back to the room and had my wife leave while they checked my pulse, which was erratic, and breathing which was shallow. They put me on oxygen, which I have in the room. About ten minutes later they realize it's not improving and they call 911. My wife holds my hand and gives me a kiss before they wheel me to the elevator and out to the parking lot on the gurney to the waiting ambulance. Seems like they take forever on the ambulance, filling out some form on a clip board, strapping me in so I don't fall off the stretcher. We must have been in the parking lot for 20 minutes.

When I get to the hospital ER they checked my vital signs. Heart rate and blood pressure are acceptable. I'm still on oxygen. They do a cat scan and it shows a massive hematoma on the left side. My brain is pushed to the right, so that the cat-scan shows a line that should indicate the center of the brain is bent right-ward in a bow shape. My pupils do not respond to the little flashlight, and my hand does not respond to a pin prick. My legs give a little kick every ten or twenty seconds. Somebody tells somebody I am "unresponsive."

I'm on a lot of medications because of the heart condition, etc. One of them is Coumadin, which is a blood thinner, which makes life easier for my heart. When I fell and whacked my head, it caused a little hemorrhage, and it didn't stop bleeding the way it normally would because of the Coumadin. Because of my age, my brain has decreased in size so there is enough room in there to accommodate a sub-dural hematoma for several hours. Not forever though. For me, about 12 hours until the lights went out.

So here I am, in a coma, and they don't expect me to survive the weekend. They've got me on oxygen and an IV (saline, glucose and a proton blocker for my stomach), but that's all. They've been told not to resuscitate, since I'd be a vegetable anyway, and miserable if I regained consciousness. I really wanted to live another few years at least, and I had plans to enjoy my grandkids, a lot more than I have up to now.

I have to accept this, I understand that. They told me not to get out of the wheel chair, but I forgot. If I feel like I can walk, I don't remember that I'm not supposed to. I remembered afterward, and on the way down too. I have to wonder though. If I'm 88, and the doctor who prescribed the Coumadin examines me after a hard fall but doesn't order any follow-up tests, like a cat-scan at the very least, who's really brain-dead? Him or me?

That's a joke, since I definitely am, but is the doc a close second? Or does an 88-year old guy with a bad heart take a back seat to a golfing weekend in Costa Rica on the Friday before Labor Day weekend? If I'd fallen at the hospital, it's policy to put me under observation and do the scan. The nursing facility may have a policy too. I dunno. I'll have to leave it up to others to find out.

Edited September 2, 2007 by satori001

[anotherDan]

Your post, sir, is surreal... you're not kidding, right? Because I will be in prayer for you as soon as I'm done with this post.

BTW, I would vote for the doctor to be a little more brain dead than you. I'll be looking for you tomorrow, sir.

Dan

[doojable]

Hey Satoori... I hope the fact that you were posting this means that you really are not in a coma.

Stay in touch and let us know how it's going.

[ex10]

Very sorry to hear this, Satori. You and yours are in my prayers.

[dmiller]

Your post, sir, is surreal... you're not kidding, right? Because I will be in prayer for you as soon as I'm done with this post.

BTW, I would vote for the doctor to be a little more brain dead than you. I'll be looking for you tomorrow, sir.

Dan

Me too.

[YID]

Google "Dead Doctors Don't Lie".

Intereresting information which has some insight. We trust our lives to people with a life span of only 55 to 65 years. I enjoy points like this. It shows someone is thinking.

Whether or not any of it is true is directly related to how ill you are at the time you hear the tape. I wish I still had the tape to listen to it now 10 years after my first listening.

I'm not in a comma. But I'm in a perpectual state of dormant mental awareness.

[Eagle]

Satori001

I'm glad that you were able to post. Didn't know you were 88.

Prayers to you in the name of Jesus Christ.

[Dot Matrix]

That's a joke, since I definitely am, but is the doc a close second? Or does an 88-year old guy with a bad heart take a back seat to a golfing weekend in Costa Rica on the Friday before Labor Day weekend? If I'd fallen at the hospital, it's policy to put me under observation and do the scan. The nursing facility may have a policy too. I dunno. I'll have to leave it up to others to find out.

He is not 88.

I think this was posted as thought provoking with tongue in cheek humor.

Satori has always been, to me anyway, an intelligent, witty, poignant poster. The point is a sad commentary of our medical system.

I was once in the emergency room with a miscarriage and they called the Doc in, who seemed to have already changed into his golf clothes, and was heading out. He was rude and angry. Said some really mean thing about it NOT being a miscarriage. I KNEW it was and the other doctor did as well. I drove home in labor pains called my old gynocologist, she saw me, and threw me in the hospital immediately – could not even go home for clothes. Oh, it was a miscarriage. If I had waited three days, as the other doctor suggested, I would have had serious complications.

That was all over what appeared to be a golf game.

Edited September 2, 2007 by Dot Matrix

[RainbowsGirl]

God Bless You (((((((((((((((Satori and Your Wife and Family))))))))))))))))))),,

I hope as Dot says this is all to make a point about the Health Care System; it's methods, some of it's personnel, policies, inadequacies, and all the red tape!

Yet, I am still praying for You and Your wife and Family! I will continually be praying for all at the mercy of any System of the World; I do know they try their best...at least most of them do, but as in any system of the world their are those who draw both truly dedicated responsible and deeply caring people, and then those who are not in it for those reasons,... with all the varying degrees of people and reasons in between.

What it always boils down to is standards and methods...the ones we individually choose to live by color everything in our lives. Like Psalmies thread represents with the dance partner analogy. We need to choose our so to speak dance partners very carefully! Random choices can and often do kill people!

I am glad that God is there for You and the many countless and often nameless others! That We as God's Family can, do and will always stand in the gap for all who need us. We will pray without ceasing!

Love You Satori, RainbowsGirl

[ChattyKathy]

:wacko:

[anotherDan]

Thanks for the heads up, Dot. It was "surreal" enough to give me pause, and it was well done enough to cause me to consider my own problems in perspective. No doubt as I prayed, there were in fact old men dying in hospital beds and nursing homes. My prayers were for them as well. Satori, you got me. Thanks for the perspective, though!

[ex70sHouston]

For me this is a sick joke. It reminds me to much of my parents dieing. Which has been on the brain the last week.

[Dot Matrix]

Sorry about your parents, but then you can probably relate to how the older Americans seem to fall low on the priority list. It is horrible

For those worried about Satori

You must have missed this

So here I am, in a coma, and they don't expect me to survive the weekend.

He would not be able to write if he were in a coma. Your hearts are kind

[Dot Matrix]

PS

A brief aside:

:)

RG:

No offense, but the bottom of your posts have so much advertising they remind me of the old Dr. Bonner soap bottle

It will not let me post the label

Here is the link

http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/images/dr...-soap-label.png

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/comm..._Magic_Soap.jpg

:) with each post I make a mental note that I am out of peppermint and need to get some

PS it is hours later, I see you have trimmed it down! :)

Edited September 2, 2007 by Dot Matrix

[anotherDan]

I saw that, Dot. An old man in such a condition might be expected to make a slip like that.... "having been in a coma, and not expected to survive the weekend...." though obviously the rest of the post was lucid. Like I said, he got me, and I can take it all in fun, but like ex70 said, it is a pretty sick joke.

that's funny Dot! all-god-one-god material for your reflection while you shower

Edited September 2, 2007 by anotherDan

[ChattyKathy]

Dot,

You're a good soul. And no doubt understood his intent pretty accurately.

ex70'shouston,

Sorry about your loss and your memories, I know Satori and am certain he meant no personal attacks to those who have lived through loss, he knows loss himself.

[Dot Matrix]

ex70

This must have been a hard week on you then. I hope that things are better today. I am sure the post was not mean-spirited. I am sorry for your pain.

Others:

I do see how Satori's post illustrates some frightening facts about health care.

For instance

If I'm 88, and the doctor who prescribed the Coumadin examines me after a hard fall but doesn't order any follow-up tests, like a cat-scan at the very least, who's really brain-dead? Him or me?

My Dad is on that drug and it is very dangerous and they do not follow-up properly with it. A friends’ mother died as the Coumadin had her brain leak blood and it killed her.

And the ending comments about:

I'll have to leave it up to others to find out.

Our turn is right around the corner unless things change.

But I have been seeing this POOR conduct for years. My mother was diagnosed with a flu and it was a heart attack in the 60’s.

His post also makes me wonder if we are keeping people alive past “their time” Such as the man is okay, but then there is a litnay of ailments he has been enduring.

I find it thought provoking, well written and presented.

Edited September 2, 2007 by Dot Matrix

[livininit]

I think I got the point satori. And for one thing, it at least got me thinking about how thankful I am for those of us who have been blessed with good health. My mother is 92 yrs. old with a sane mind, still able to get around (with some 92 yr. old aches and pains), loves God and the Lord Jesus Christ (and lets people know it), still cooks pasta for her guests, and shows signs of remembering better than I do.

I have compassion for those who are in not so good situations, and I trust that the God of all comfort takes care of those here in that kind of need for you and your families.

[satori001]

No, I'm afraid it is not a joke, although I'll concede it wouldn't pass for a typical thread around here either, and the literalists will probably have a better time over on the trivia thread.

I stopped breathing sometime during the night and was pronounced dead this morning. As I probably made clear, this was not exactly unexpected, but it seems "surreal," as one of you put it. My family has been notfied, and all that seems to remain, other than my remains, is to arrange for them. While I will never know, I'd like to think someone will look into the circumstances of my care on the last day of my conscious life.

Edited September 2, 2007 by satori001

[Larry N Moore]

No, I'm afraid it is not a joke, although I'll concede it wouldn't pass for a typical thread around here either, and the literalists will probably have a better time over on the trivia thread.

I stopped breathing sometime during the night and was pronounced dead this morning. As I probably made clear, this was not exactly unexpected, but it seems "surreal," as one of you put it. My family has been notfied, and all that seems to remain, other than my remains, is to arrange for them. While I will never know, I'd like to think someone will look into the circumstances of my care on the last day of my conscious life.

So, satori -- What's heaven like? :)

[pond]

Well done Satori

America is in a crisis and has been in a crisis for over a decade and it will only get worse as we age.

those in the medical field realize few are signing up for duty within this aging population.

the system is more than broke it is overwhelming hopeless.

those who know this do not bother to talk about it, those who do not know would never guess how it all came about this manner of dying in america.

if you feel outrage or compassion for this story.. go to your local state funded nursing home and stick around in the ranks and file then you will also carry what some know already as a way of life for those who have no money left and are old in america.

this guy actualy got sent to the hospital, and some one recorded his fall. wow that is something to be praised who would know any different if he just fell into a coma at the nursing home and died?

maybe if your family is loud enough or well enough (odds are they are also in a nursing home or not healthy or have enough money to make the fight, IF you have any family left at all) maybe the state will look into a wrongfull death , but it wont change anything other than maybe pushing an over worked under paid nursing staff into another job, at another facility at best.

do not want to hear it? I must be wrong? well that is how this stuff happens every minute of every day and worse much much worse. ... no one really wants to know or pay for what storys like this mean in real life.

it is a crisis and it is only going to get worse.

do you want to work at a nursing home?

[Dot Matrix]

If the system does not change

That could be your future

All of our futures

[livininit]

I may be totally out of the loop here, but am I missing something other than the fact that a VERY IMPROTANT point has been made? Is anyone thinking like me or am I the only one?

[likeaneagle]

I dont know satori-livinit..Im a littled stumped!!

For someone who was in a coma, you type pretty good..

[Sudo]

Good gracious guys..

Is everybody dense? Satori is obviously talking about someone else as himself in the first person. Geeze. And since its so personal I can't help but think it was his father or perhaps an uncle who just died. My condolences but... from the tale as told.. I fault none of the health care givers either.

sudo