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A priest, a minister, a rabbi, walk into a bar, followed by an Irishman, and Italian, and a Polish guy. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

Two peanuts walked into a rowdy bar, one was a salted.

That's nuts!

(Or were you just pulling my legume?)

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Zero said to eight, "Nice belt."

:biglaugh: Jeff !

or...........What do zeroes call eight? Siamese Twins.

One vulture says to the other, "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

A bar walks into a rabbi, a priest, and a minister and says "Am I where Monadism Anonymous is meeting tonight?"

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Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine. ;)

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the other side...

...where there was a Shell station. :D

Edited by doojable
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A horse walked into a bar.

The bartender said..."Hey, why the long face?"

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A termite walks into a bar

and asks the first person he sees

is the bar tender here?

I tell that one from time to time, I think it's better as an oral joke. Only, I say an Irish pub, and "Where's the bar tender?"

VERY few people get it. :asdf::biglaugh:

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Isn't it because the termite was thinking about EATING the bar and din't want the bartender to notice...?

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Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really .... me off."

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OKC, That cracked me up!


A piece of string walks into a bar and says to the bar tender; "I'd like a beer please". The bar tender looks disgustedly at the piece of string and say; "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here in this bar. Get out". Dejectedly, the piece of string walks out of the bar and shambles down the street. Then, the piece of string sees this guy walking along and says to him; "Hey buddy, wouldja do me a faor"? The guy says yea sure, waddya want?" The string says; "I want you to fray up the top of my string here and then tie it in a knot". The guy tells him okay and does the deed for the piece of string. Then he walks back in the bar, sits down and says to the bar tender; "Bartender, a Michelob please". The bartender, angry, says; "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string I threw outa here ten minutes ago"? And the piece of string leans forward and say; "No, I'm afraid not...."

It is a better joke orally...

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