IMO, it's a learned helplessness. Going back to TWI is easy. TWI tells them what to think, how to think, what to do with their time and money and people have to pretend to like you, so you instantly fit in.
Leaving/change is the hard part (really leaving like Oakspear said). You have to re-evaluate everything you learned, make your own decisions, learn to really think and relate to people without canned responses, decide what to do with your time, money, emotions, etc., etc.
There really is no way to talk someone into leaving or to convince them to see what you see.... that old adage, "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still" does contain truth. What you can do is ask questions to, hopefully, stimulate thought. You can live your life and let them see how wonderful things are and how much more peaceful it is to have control over your own decisions and situations.
Things that got to me while I was still in were "normal" things my family and friends mentioned that I knew we'd never have or be able to do. We just did not have the same goals and ambitions as those "normal" people did. There really is a huge contrast between how "normal" people live and how TWIts live - even everyday mundane things.
It sure is a 'learned helplessness.' It is so convenient and cozy to be in a cult. Instant friends, no need to set goals or be responsible for your life's valuable time, no need to check your soul to find out what YOU really believe...just nod your head and smile...
The fact that eventually your life's schedule and time and goals, if you had any, are gone and replaced by TWI, is a really important point. Yes, maybe they will continue to see what it's like 'outside' through me and others and that will help them. Plus, in my own experience, like you, it was just God working in me to open my eyes to what was really happening. God knows when you can handle light and how much you can handle at a time, too.
What got to me was a combination of the local leader here being intensely nasty to a friend of mine by taking sides in her divorce, plus getting talked down to all the time as if I was someone's sweet stupid pet, rather than a responsible adult woman with a good brain and MS degree. Plus a couple other things. Anyway, it took me three years after I left to go through what I called 'cult recovery.' During that time I went to no fellowship or church. I just kept reading my Bible and I dealt with all the stuff I had shoved in the corner emotionally for so long...But God is so good. When he heals, he heals.
If anyone in this here cafe has any advice for me, I sure would appreciate it. Is there a book or a site I can send her to? I went on the Way site and it's just like it was a few years ago, with zero opportunity for anyone visiting to send a message, much less even buy a book. (Why show people those books and then not sell them?)
In my case, I would not know if they're in or not.
Since I left TWI, I pretty much lost contact with anyone related to TWI.
There were friends who left TWI before I did and made contact, but couldn't get together as our lives went separate ways. They have their own things and I got mine plus I moved out of the state and then moved across the country.
Now speaking hypothetically:
If a friend of mine goes back to TWI, I cannot prevent him/her. All can tell the person is "it's your decision. my doors will always be open for you, but I am never going back to TWI so it is up to you if you want to remain friends or not. " and I'll leave it at that.
Okay, I have to know how old that video is. Because the music is sooo 80s and sooo dorky, and their movements are so robotic! Then again the girls' dresses so so infernally long maybe it's from the 90s? Any info?
Okay, I have to know how old that video is. Because the music is sooo 80s and sooo dorky, and their movements are so robotic! Then again the girls' dresses so so infernally long maybe it's from the 90s? Any info?
You know how German Baptists, Amish, and Mennonites have a certain style of dress that sort of reflects their "glory days"? That seems to be what is going on with TWI. The hair isn't as "big" like in the 80s, but they are definitely stuck in time.
You have a cyber friend who has gone back to the Way recently, we all do, if we ever called him that. Apparently, xxxxx has gone back. At least he has taken the new class and I assume you have to go back to do that. He was around here for years, heard all the stories, defended VPW and others on numerous points repeatedly, and apparently thinks everything is better now. I guess the new class was "healing" for him. Good for him... that is until it once again isn't.
You just never know I guess. Oh well.
I think anyone who denies or dismisses the worst of the things that VPW, LCM, and the like did over the years will remain open to some degree to going back or staying in. Once the reality of those horrific acts settles in one seriously questions everything, if they hadn't already, and would never go back to a group that did those things.
... any reasonable and healthy person anyway.
Edited by ModRocker to remove name of GS member who allegedly has gone back to twi. It's up to him/her to announce, if desired.
You have a cyber friend who has gone back to the Way recently, we all do, if we ever called him that. Apparently, xxxxx has gone back. At least he has taken the new class and I assume you have to go back to do that. He was around here for years, heard all the stories, defended VPW and others on numerous points repeatedly, and apparently thinks everything is better now. I guess the new class was "healing" for him. Good for him... that is until it once again isn't.
You just never know I guess. Oh well.
I think anyone who denies or dismisses the worst of the things that VPW, LCM, and the like did over the years will remain open to some degree to going back or staying in. Once the reality of those horrific acts settles in one seriously questions everything, if they hadn't already, and would never go back to a group that did those things.
... any reasonable and healthy person anyway.
Does twi's "new class" rehash.......the law of believing?.....Job's fear-believing?......the absent christ?......the eve/devil homosexual encounter?......the present truth doctrine?.......the plaf materials?......etc. etc.
Then.....as one is grafted back into "the way tree" setup, individuality is nonexistent and being subservient to twi leadership and all. More subtle now though.
and there is at least one other here who would drop everything and run back into the mouth of the beast.. provided da way exhibited the illusion that it's like the good old days..
I really think.. if someone "goes back".. and the phone calls and communication stops.. after a few failed attempts to take you with them, and they subsequently avoid you.. maybe they weren't the friend one thought they were.
I really think.. if someone "goes back".. and the phone calls and communication stops.. after a few failed attempts to take you with them, and they subsequently avoid you.. maybe they weren't the friend one thought they were.
More likely, they were never friends to begin with.
You have a cyber friend who has gone back to the Way recently, we all do, if we ever called him that. Apparently, xxxxx has gone back. At least he has taken the new class and I assume you have to go back to do that. He was around here for years, heard all the stories, defended VPW and others on numerous points repeatedly, and apparently thinks everything is better now. I guess the new class was "healing" for him. Good for him... that is until it once again isn't.
You just never know I guess. Oh well.
I think anyone who denies or dismisses the worst of the things that VPW, LCM, and the like did over the years will remain open to some degree to going back or staying in. Once the reality of those horrific acts settles in one seriously questions everything, if they hadn't already, and would never go back to a group that did those things.
... any reasonable and healthy person anyway.
I've been wondering what happened to xxxxx. He used to post quite frequently.
Maybe he will again.
George
Edited by ModRocker to remove references to a GS member.
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Javajivey
It sure is a 'learned helplessness.' It is so convenient and cozy to be in a cult. Instant friends, no need to set goals or be responsible for your life's valuable time, no need to check your soul to find out what YOU really believe...just nod your head and smile...
The fact that eventually your life's schedule and time and goals, if you had any, are gone and replaced by TWI, is a really important point. Yes, maybe they will continue to see what it's like 'outside' through me and others and that will help them. Plus, in my own experience, like you, it was just God working in me to open my eyes to what was really happening. God knows when you can handle light and how much you can handle at a time, too.
What got to me was a combination of the local leader here being intensely nasty to a friend of mine by taking sides in her divorce, plus getting talked down to all the time as if I was someone's sweet stupid pet, rather than a responsible adult woman with a good brain and MS degree. Plus a couple other things. Anyway, it took me three years after I left to go through what I called 'cult recovery.' During that time I went to no fellowship or church. I just kept reading my Bible and I dealt with all the stuff I had shoved in the corner emotionally for so long...But God is so good. When he heals, he heals.
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chockfull
Advice? Yes, absolutely.
Just show them this video:
That ought to cover it.
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FreeFromCults
In my case, I would not know if they're in or not.
Since I left TWI, I pretty much lost contact with anyone related to TWI.
There were friends who left TWI before I did and made contact, but couldn't get together as our lives went separate ways. They have their own things and I got mine plus I moved out of the state and then moved across the country.
Now speaking hypothetically:
If a friend of mine goes back to TWI, I cannot prevent him/her. All can tell the person is "it's your decision. my doors will always be open for you, but I am never going back to TWI so it is up to you if you want to remain friends or not. " and I'll leave it at that.
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Javajivey
Okay, I have to know how old that video is. Because the music is sooo 80s and sooo dorky, and their movements are so robotic! Then again the girls' dresses so so infernally long maybe it's from the 90s? Any info?
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Ham
I think it's around a year old..
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Tzaia
You know how German Baptists, Amish, and Mennonites have a certain style of dress that sort of reflects their "glory days"? That seems to be what is going on with TWI. The hair isn't as "big" like in the 80s, but they are definitely stuck in time.
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lindyhopper
Excie,
You have a cyber friend who has gone back to the Way recently, we all do, if we ever called him that. Apparently, xxxxx has gone back. At least he has taken the new class and I assume you have to go back to do that. He was around here for years, heard all the stories, defended VPW and others on numerous points repeatedly, and apparently thinks everything is better now. I guess the new class was "healing" for him. Good for him... that is until it once again isn't.
You just never know I guess. Oh well.
I think anyone who denies or dismisses the worst of the things that VPW, LCM, and the like did over the years will remain open to some degree to going back or staying in. Once the reality of those horrific acts settles in one seriously questions everything, if they hadn't already, and would never go back to a group that did those things.
... any reasonable and healthy person anyway.
Edited by ModRocker to remove name of GS member who allegedly has gone back to twi. It's up to him/her to announce, if desired.
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skyrider
Does twi's "new class" rehash.......the law of believing?.....Job's fear-believing?......the absent christ?......the eve/devil homosexual encounter?......the present truth doctrine?.......the plaf materials?......etc. etc.
Then.....as one is grafted back into "the way tree" setup, individuality is nonexistent and being subservient to twi leadership and all. More subtle now though.
No thanks.
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Ham
and there is at least one other here who would drop everything and run back into the mouth of the beast.. provided da way exhibited the illusion that it's like the good old days..
I really think.. if someone "goes back".. and the phone calls and communication stops.. after a few failed attempts to take you with them, and they subsequently avoid you.. maybe they weren't the friend one thought they were.
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FreeFromCults
More likely, they were never friends to begin with.
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GeorgeStGeorge
I've been wondering what happened to xxxxx. He used to post quite frequently.
Maybe he will again.
George
Edited by ModRocker to remove references to a GS member.
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frank123lol
If I ever went back,I would puke the first time they prayed for the bod,"Oh lord we thank you
For our beloved bod,thanky for their heal...." puke,gag...barf....
As my boy,who watches youtube,about "Lord of the Rings"Hey Sauramon,you suck!"
Adapt to twi,HEYTWI,YOUSUCK!"
Now Ill tell ya how I really feel,Amre blood sucking organization there is not.They make a misquito look like a
deprived junkie without a needle.
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Twinky
xxxxx went back?
Well, I guess he'll come back here in a few months. When the shine has worn off a little.
Edited by ModRocker to remove GS member's name.
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