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the way i feel


year2027
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God first

hi everybody

wrote Atheist board

one would think that this no place a Christian to been but I not one that thinks he or she has thing anyway

I know how I feel and its hard to say

Social Security is telling that need to see there doctor I will go

but cannot they see that had a stoke

i do not understand but what new

they made me feel not taking my meds

I been on Social Security about 9 years

I know I got Bio Poli II and Schizophrenia, Paranoid and do not see a mental doctor

but i was tanking my High Presser meds

and see a doctor about 3 months

so why would they want to pick on me

I will never see a mental because do play fare

I meditate for my mind and talk a friend

this stoke has still got me down

I written this because I know not where to turn

after the stoke I find out I did want to die

sorry for telling you my problems maybe if I give on God would work out

thank you

with love and a holy kiss Roy

Edited by year2027
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Roy, I understand that dealing with your health issues can be VERY frustrating, they system can seem to .... you over and over and keep you on their own privately designed hamster wheel...........

Whatever you do, don't stop taking your meds, don't stop showing up for our scheduled appointments, don't stop dancing to the music they play, even on the days you could care less about their music.

If you are fortunate enough to have been diagnosed and given meds that work, then do what they tell ya to do.

You mentioned a friend you talk to; yay! Keep doing that, it's very very very rare to have such a one as that.

Don't forget to PM me if you want to, I'd welcome that, as I've suggested before. If you don't, I won't take it personal; talk to whomever you can that works for YOU!

Remember your strengths and the crap you've survived through your entire life and search deep for whatever worked those times; you're a scrapper, ya know ! Every time I read you here I learn something, even if it's that I have something to learn or an idea to consider embracing or a new look at a tired subject that you've somehow put a new coat on.

You give, you serve, you reach out to others, don't be afraid to expect some of the same back atcha. Expect to be valued and validated !

wave.gif Shellon

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Most doctors really do want to help ease suffering Roy.

Many people with mental illness have been helped with medications, and some find counseling helps too, to talk with someone who understands what you are going through.

I do not think the doctors and those that want you to see a doctor are trying to hurt you, but are trying to help you feel better.

If your life is full of trouble, maybe seeking help from doctors and medications would help ease things. There is nothing wrong with getting help. I know that taking the meds, and maybe having to have them try different ones until they find the right ones for you is really tough. But it can be done.

Have you heard of Nami? http://www.nami.org/ They have a good website.

I have a brother with Paranoid Schizophrenia, bipolar and OCD.

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hey Roy, the social security administration has to have you see a doctor for confirmation that your issues are ongoing, that's all. make sure you sign all releases of information they ask for so the appointed doctor knows everything about the things you're dealing with, including the stroke.

I'm on SSDI because of what was done to me by my ex and by other people in twi, plus I just found out I have Asperger's Syndrome, which complicates things for me and means I'll have to rely on disability longer than I hoped. even though my SSDI income is tiny, it's better than having nothing, which is what my ex left me and the kids to live on.

hang in there, Roy. it sounds like this is just a routine verification. I know it can feel like a lot of useless jumping through hoops, but they have to do it.

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Good Luck Roy--I'll reiterate what was said above-Social Security is not singling you out. There are millions of people who get disability and they check up on all of them every few years to weed out the people who dont need it anymore. This is their normal procedure for everyone.

Most psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors are pretty good at what they do. If you have met one or two or more that you havent really clicked with, then I would suggest to keep "shopping" for a new one until you find one that you like - a good one that you trust can be very very valuable for your mentalhealth and well being.

I also understand meds can be a drag. I know alot of people that are either bipolar or schizophrenic and they too sometimes go off them from time to time.I have to say most of the time its really not a good idea at all, it usually hurts them and they suffer bad setbacks.

You know yourself better than I do but I'd be very careful about going off your meds. It can cause a lot more problems than just staying on them even though you dont feel like it.

as you say often -God Bless you my dear friend--we are all pulling for you

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God first

hi everybody

I look the place they want me to go

It a doctor for mental and I told myself that would control like a dog

I practice hold my breath my mouth open years ago

the only person I trust that has anything with mental heath is Shellon

my personal doctor I trust but take my body

are so much with a brain that they think i would go duck and like it no way

when had the stoke i was so afraid they i left the hospital and walk around Louisville 4 - 6 hours

my friend me off and stay until they was about admit me about 4 hours

I call after getting lost then I found myself again so I call him and he took me home

the next day I went to my sister after finding out my local hospital was not going hurt me

now Social Security wants me to see a mental doctor

my friend he would take me but he did know it was mental doctor

I have took my meds since Friday night and I know what it means

I want to live but I will not be robot

i do not care anymore

they will be killing me not me

I know the law maybe it take a long maybe not

I not seeing mental doctor

I love you

thank you

with love and a holy kiss Roy

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hey Roy, the Social Security Administration can't force you to submit to treatment, so they aren't assigning a mental health doctor to treat you. I think this is just an assessment. I had one with a psychiatrist. it was a little scary because I didn't know what to expect but she was very nice. she just had to independently establish that I have PTSD so I could get benefits, even though 2 other professionals had already determined that I have it.

if you don't go to the assessment, you could lose your benefits. please go!

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Roy, while I appreciate you trusting me with mental health issues, let me say something here, please.

I am not a licensed counselor, I am not a licensed therapist, I am not a psychiatrist, I am not a psychologist, I am not a mental health facilitator in any way.

I have a bunch of training and classes in those area's but that in NO WAY gives me the license, legally or no, to offer what you need, here or otherwise, please do understand that. The best I can do is extend friendship and care and concern and while I hope it's even a small help, please lets not me and you expect me to have the answers you need. This is for you and your doctors to do and of course I get that YOU have to do the hardest part.

I am happy to be available to you to talk to, to share things bothering you, but can do so on nothing more than a layperson's level. You must continue your prescribed regime given by your professional and medical teams.

There are others here who can assist you and who rally behind you, as has been shown in their writings here. Please, however, do not just land on our words; keep up with what your doctors have said. Trusting only me or anyone other than your doctors is not in your best interest at this juncture, on a public forum.

You can do this, Roy. I know you can ! This is not the first time you've faced bigger struggles and pains than many of us can even dream up. You can do this. You have to remember that and dig deep within the places you've reached every other time that have sustained you, that have kept you going when you were sure you never could.

You survived your childhood, you survived losses greater than that, even. You've understood your health issues better than any, you've kept rising above your "disadvantages" and what must seem like complete lack, you've brought yourself back around to the best you can do. You can do this, too, Roy.

When you had a stroke recently, you even kept your humor !

Remember that when you stay within the reins and boundaries of what your doctors tell you to do, things get better.

Don't forget, also Roy, that you are valuable and necessary; you need to do this!

We here at greasespot cafe absolutely understand that trusting others is most difficult, even though they say that they have your best interests in mind. It's more comfortable to consider "yeah, right !" isn't it? And the work involved in trusting someone, even professionals with our best interest in mind is exhausting on a good day. So, please don't discount our support and understanding; we get it. We either live it in our own daily gig or we love someone who lives it.

I'm glad you have been taking your meds since friday, thank you! Keep doing that and do not stop it unless or until someone on your professional mental health or medical team instruct you.

Your fight is what I enjoy, your stubborness is what I admire, your drive to do what you have to do to stay well is what I appreciate, Roy.

It's easy for me to say go where they tell you to go, take what they tell you to take, do what they say you must. But I think you know you have to, so that you can come back around to the strong man that you already know you are, Roy.

You can do this. Please do keep us up to date as you can and desire and please do remember that we really do understand; all of us.

Shellon

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God first

hi everybody

Shellon yes I know you can not do anything

but I was trying show people how I feel

I took my meds tonight and plan to take for now on

My friend and wife talk with me and i am ok now

he going to go with me

I am so thankful I have so many friends

I love you all

my friend I do not have take drugs I can throw away

because meds make feel high or make want to eat

but I will take my blood pressure meds

12-29-2009 at 8:30 am

thank you

with love and a holy kiss Roy

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Roy, some good advice by all here and it's good you're talking about it too - not keeping it in or ignoring a problem. Most doctor's do want to help - but sometimes you have to be your own advocate and give them some feedback - even be persistent - tell them if some medication ain't working or has bad side effects.

Awhile back my insurance changed and didn't want to pay for an antidepressant that has been working so well for me. Going with their approved meds - I started complaining about the bad side effects - which bugged me so much that it made me even more depressed. But my doctor worked with me to document the issues I was having and eventually they approved the meds I was originally taking.

Hang in there Roy - we're all pulling for ya here!

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yeah, I'm with you guys on the side effects. docs were giving me all kinds of stuff before they confirmed asperger's and most of it made me severely ill - affected my memory, I gained weight, I had convulsions, my intestines quit working... it took a while to get the doctors to listen but I kept at it and now I'm just on something short-acting for anxiety. that's all I can take, but it does work. it's a relief that I'm not taking drugs for things I don't have... it just took years to figure out because... well, I have asperger's and I bend too easily to authority :)

I figured out I have to be my own advocate and keep track of symptoms, especially when taking any medication, and if my doc won't listen, go find a new one.

you're lucky, Roy, to have good friends. I'm glad you have a friend going with you.

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God first

Time will tell all things!

11-30-2009

I can do no other thing than write my friends they not understand what going in me but they know pain, like I do. I had a rocky life with ups and downs I do not think I am Schizophrenia but one would think stock with label because I hear talk they label me Schizophrenia and me tell them was a mistake.

As for Paranoid is not everybody because most do not trust his or her government and talk Bio Poli II could not most people been label this too. I know my minds races at times and should I welcome it.

When my mind is racing is the time I hear loud and clear I can think of many things once but God control my mind one thing. Todd Guess has taught me to mediate when get out of hand but because they do not give it high blood pressure.

One would think a Stoke is bad enough because I want to live but who knows the minds of doctors what fool they are. I could ask “what between of you the doctor and me” but they give thinking it a joke but I could list many things like light, darkness, air, and more than I want to answer at this.

They would have a problem with darkness as being my answer but is darkness lighted by darkness being overcome by light. Thank you my friends with love and a holy kiss Roy.

thank you all

love Roy

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Dang Roy...

I hate hearing you aren't doing well and ever since I heard of this thread but hadn't read it (within the last day) I've had you on my heart.

Just please don't make any changes that actually don't help, I am completely in favor of change that makes a difference in a good way Roy.

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If you think you were diagnosed wrongly, seek a second evaluation. Without a correct diagnosis you will not get the correct treatment. Correct treatment makes life better.

But ugly hard illnesses do not go away because you don't want to have them. You can't think them away or ignore them.

The brain is a physical organ and can have illness that affects moods and thoughts.

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Hey there Roy. :) As you might know, I work at a group home that has 4 developementally disabled guys, and one of them (who is schizophrenic) doesn't function very well without taking his meds. He (along with the other 3 guys there at the house), get "reviewed" occasionally by the state, the feds, etc. to determine if they "really" need them. Well - - - Yea, duh! It's pretty obvious that they do, but for whatever reason, the government authorities that deal with this stuff have the hoops to jump through, the red tape to deal with - - - so don't let it bother you if you get questioned once in a while.

Speaking of Clark (the schizophrenic gent who lives at the house there), we had to fight like hell to get him re-instated with a prescription of Clozaril which he absolutely needed, but the "reviewing board" wasn't sure if it was necessary. I remember one time when Clark didn't have the proper dose of meds and he heard some voices in his head that ....ed him off, and he couldn't deal with it. He got mad at the world in general, and in his frustration he picked up a an oak wooden desk (one handed) and threw it at the wall about 10 feet away, and smashed it totally with the force of that throw. The pic following is MUCH smaller than the one he one-handedly picked up and launched through the air.

Jackson%20Desk1_0.JPG

Please don't blame yourself for anything, and DO take those meds, eh?? Perhaps there will be a time when you no longer need them, but if you need them now don't neglect them. Also - - - If you get questioned about things, or are referred to a "new" doctor, just chalk it up to the Gov't. guys doing what they are required to do. I'm guessing they would rather just let you alone living as you have, but they (like the Gov't. folks I have to deal with for the 4 guys who live at the group home), have a job to do and if you're nice to them they'll be nice back to you.

By the way - - - Have you heard the group Third Day? I was flipping through some YouTube videos tonight and saw this one.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="

name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="
type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Like the song says - - - You need to travel through the Valleys to get to the Mountain of God. :)

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God first

hi dmiller

i have problem talking my meds things as doctor from that my health like blood pressure and other things

but I have not took others things after the judge ok my Social Security for me that was 2003 or so

so i do need them

yes alone a lot and things get upset and I get feeling about once a while one about 2007 things got out of control

when things go good I do not get those feel and one in over about in seven years is good

so I think I know my body better than them

yes I had a lot of hards things in my life to handle

my friend and sisters help me with them

no med going to change my mind

only thing meds is make hight or horny or make want to eat

No

but the other meds for high blood I take

my life is getting better not worse

Social Security are foolish thinking I will ever be their dogs again

and I respect your view as much as Shelley views

but I do need them

i have more friends then I had ever before i did before

i in a building full of good people

and there not trying to used me

thank you

with love and a holy kiss Roy

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