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Get a life!


JeffSjo
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get a life

Recently in the my story section I was told to do get a life. In the "My Story" section we have been given the opportunity to share as little or as much of our life as we choose and over all I am very, very thankful for a place like "The Greasespot Cafe forums" to do so.

But this one little snippet has gotten me thinking and I'd like to share some thoughts and leave it open for comments.

I can't tell, based on the content alone of this post if it was made by a teenage girl, a 50 year old man, or anything in between. If I choose to believe based on the little information given in the relevant profile this one is a male of indeterminate years. But for all I can tell it just as well might have been said by a little girl.

If it had been made by a teenager I'd just sigh and think something along the lines of, "These kids talk like that all the time to their friends anyhow." and probably not give it another thought. But I am going to respond to this post assuming it is an adult man, even though IMO it might have well been made by a little girl for all the intelligence and compassion contained therein. Wait, the young women I remember from RRF have more compassion than this so nevermind.

GETTING A LIFE has been a major issue for me since River Road Fellowship moved my son and wife out of my house behind my back, fired me from my job, and kicked me out of the group. So in one sense to "get a life" really has been a major issue for me.

But facing and/or figuring out what happened to me that cost me what was my life has seemed more necessary to me than just moving on to the imaginary land of partyville and/or the good life that many of my younger compatriots have chosen to do.

And all my discussion and the feedback I've recieved at GSC has helped me get to the point where I am finally feeling capable of moving ahead with my life with a little understanding of the things that befell me under Victor Barnard's watch.

So all you've managed to do by choosing to tell me to "get a life" is annoy me and cause me to have no little wonder at your apparent heartless and compassionfree comments.

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Sounds like a troll or a troll--at--heart, Jeff. You do have a life, you are moving on and overcoming terrible loss. Plus your posts could very well reach someone who needs to make a decision about joining a group or continuing with a group like you were in.

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That statement "get a life" is really a silly one. Of course the the person to whom it's addressed has a life, otherwise, what, they're dead. Duh. I do understand that it implies 'get over it' and all that bloody foolishness too.

Hell, people that land on those things must not have much production in their lives too or they'd have exercised the organ that lies dormant in their skull to be a little more creative. Talk about needing some life.

Why people think those cliche's work just never makes good sense to me.

It's another way of saying something like "I don't want to address your life, I don't want to consider that you have had pains and struggles, I don't want to accept that I might have to actually converse, think, breath, do anything other than my own shi t"

Excuse for not saying anything but blowing out their hole.

Another one of those 'is that the best you've got?'

sheesh, how lame.

I offer to them, whomever they are, and yes, even if it were a silly teenage girl and maybe more so if it were a grown man; shut the hell up, take a look in the shiny thing on the wall and ask yourself some simple and basic questions.

Get a life, indeed. sheeeeesh rolleyes.gif

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Twi canned answer,Get a Life,its like twi saying get over it.

That is nonsense,you have to have closeure on stuff,like dealing with problems.

Twi would simply bury their heads in the sand,see no problem.life is not like that.

jeff you are valuable here,your opinions mean alot to people here,we all were in a destructive cult,and as such are,were scarred.

Greasespot is a way to air laundry,say stuff,twi would never allow,Hey we are what we are....

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

GETTING A LIFE has been a major issue for me since River Road Fellowship moved my son and wife out of my house behind my back, fired me from my job, and kicked me out of the group. So in one sense to "get a life" really has been a major issue for me.

But facing and/or figuring out what happened to me that cost me what was my life has seemed more necessary to me than just moving on to the imaginary land of partyville and/or the good life that many of my younger compatriots have chosen to do.

And all my discussion and the feedback I've recieved at GSC has helped me get to the point where I am finally feeling capable of moving ahead with my life with a little understanding of the things that befell me under Victor Barnard's watch.

So all you've managed to do by choosing to tell me to "get a life" is annoy me and cause me to have no little wonder at your apparent heartless and compassionfree comments.

I don't know if I am just feeling overly emotional today. . . . or if I never really considered the depth of what you have been through. . . . but, for some reason this just hit me . . . . Jeff, you are an amazing person, a good man, and that you strive for some kind of balance speaks so loudly about the kind of life and heart you do have.

I so enjoy what you share and you often remind me of things I need reminding of. . . . God Bless . . . I mean it! Your "life" speaks for itself.

Edited by geisha779
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Thank you, I got a little emotional myself at the last few posts..... :blush: I didn't respond right away in order to collect my thoughts.

One of the things that for at least right now that I seem to despise the most about "River Road Fellowship" and from a greater distance, "The Way International", is the controlled environment under which praise and/or insults are handed out.

And IMO the effect of "get a life" vs. "honestly shared appreciation" are exactly the friggin opposite of each other.

We were expected to learn that when leadership praised somebody we were to elevate them, and when they condemned somebody we were expected in a similar fashion to reject them. I am certain, speaking for just myself, that I believed my lieing, manipulative, bastard leadership when they either praised or condemned somebody, more than I care to admit. There were several marriages before mine that Barnard ruined before I ever got around to realizing that his lieing, twisted perspective applied to these others as much as it did to me.

One of the things that I am waiting for because I earnestly wish to kick some twisted and ignorant butt is to finally hear exactly what RRF leadership said about me behind my back in order to make sure that everybody that knew me would willingly turn away from me and my broken life even as I was progressively isolated further and further away from anything resembling brotherly love and into Barnard's devilish version of extreme judgement.

Bring it on!

(this was edited because of grammatical and spelling errors)

Edited by JeffSjo
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Jeff, sweetheart, the best I know to tell ya is you may never get the chance to kick their butts. You may never know what was said behind your back. Believe you me, I knoooow, first hand, your anger and pain and betrayal. It is like having flesh ripped from your body. The healing of that raw, open wound was a long process for me.

So, what'cha gonna do if you never know what was said behind your back or get the chance to whoop their butts? Hire a hitman...just joking, laughing!!! My grandma used to say, it will all come out in the wash. As an adult I have found that to be so true. Love, patience, diligence and staying true to who we are.

It is good you are exposing RRF.

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When I first read this last night I thought to myself, oooh, brother Jeff - you might think twice about what you're asking for there, hey. I did hear some of what was said about me and mine back after we were falsely accused by twi. I was told by a very reliable source that the family corps coord told the in-res family corps that when he touched my hand "he could JUST FEEL THE EVIL". Now I know he was a robot and he was full of turds, but he said that OUT LOUD and ABOUT ME. Of course in the context of him being the mog for the in-res family corps folk for that day and hour, well, whatever fell outta his food flap was considered gospel.

Then I spoke to my former mother-in-law who had been to a garage sale in our former town of residence and was told by someone who hadn't yet been m & a'd by twi (but was about to for wearing sweatpants in his own home among other stupid "crimes against twi"), that my son and I were on the run from the FBI cause there were federal charges against us and we'd be hunted down and imprisoned for the rest of our nasty unnatural lives.

So be ready dear friend - it's bound to be low and ugly and could be pretty painful.

My experience has been that it wasn't worth the wait to hear. Of course your mileage may vary. smile.gif

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________________________________________

This one came from post#72 "My Story."

“my peer”

Jeff Sjo in the whole time you have posted on GSC you have never once taken responsibility for your own problems but have played the poor me card and blamed others. I'd say until you face the truth of yourself that you have no business trying to fix anyone else. You've allowed bitterness to eat away at you so long I question your ability to have a truly spiritual thought.

________________________________________

Dear Kimberly and BOWTWI,

I hear both of you and what you say mirrors some of my considerations on the matter,well, except for the "hitman part." :B) Besides, I couldn't afford one anyway. :wink2:

I think the reason for that statement on my part is fairly simple. Recently I have become aware that several RRF folks have been aware of what I am saying here at GSC. Here are a few of the possibilities IMO of how this will play out.

#1 Since they have no real good answer for my points they unfortunately decide to slip back out of the limelight and keep the twisted, cruel, and manipulative things of Barnard's manner to themselves without ever really realizing how much of their reality is pure kaka.

#2 They actively engage why they look down at me and realize Barnard was manipulative liar that even fooled my ex-wife into believing he was such a good man that she did her part in wrecking my life and trying to break me too.

#3 They attack with their probably painful version of my life seeing as it is undoubtedly filled with at at least half-truths and even genuine faults of mine but sooner or later it will become evident that I was not even close to being as worthy of their own condemnation as the man that led them into condemning me.

If I was a betting man I'd bet they will take the route that is cowardly yet allows them to think they are all that.

(This was edited to correct a typo.)

Edited by JeffSjo
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I've bolded my responses under yours, I hope it communicates

________________________________________

#1 Since they have no real good answer for my points they unfortunately decide to slip back out of the limelight and keep the twisted, cruel, and manipulative things of Barnard's manner to themselves without ever really realizing how much of their reality is pure kaka.

Michael Stipe said "Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious...". That one makes me think of groupthink, Stockholm Syndrome where the victims begin to relate to and even assist their captor, quite for their own survival, The Genovese Syndrome where others will stand around, even silent, and do nothing about the horror around them and the old stand by 'head up their donkey's Syndrome'.

#3 They attack with their probably painful version of my life seeing as it is undoubtedly filled with at at least half-truths and even genuine faults of mine but sooner or later it will become evident that I was not even close to being as worthy of their own condemnation as the man that led them into condemning me.

I suppose that's a risk you have to take, Jeff, or at least have proven here that you are willing to risk. Remember another quote by George Bernard Shaw, who said The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.". So, they're lying and secret keeping and manipulations are pretty telling in that they might well not believe even their own kaka, much less others'. Helluva way to live a life and to have to deal with their own emotions that, while they tried to destroy you, and came quite close, you remain to confront and insist on their realization of your truth. And if they never respond, if they are, indeed, the troll paw suggested it's out there and they can not deny that.

If I was a betting man I'd bet they will take the route that is cowardly yet allows them to think they are all that.

And you, fortunately, never have to eat their shi + sandwiches again, served with their filthy hands.

Edited by Shellon
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Jeff, it was my experience, however limited, in TWI that the first thing was that the MA'd person (we'll call this hapless soul "the victim") was said to be possessed. One guy left when ordered to sell his house simply because LCM said everyone should sell their house. I asked what had become of him, and was told, "he worshipped his house and loves his house more than he loved and worshipped God."

I have no idea what was said about us; probably had to do with perceived weakness of our marriage, our son's misbehavior, and of course he was supposedly possessed with evil spirits, my rebellious attitude (that may have been true but I think of it as a compliment). I don't really care any more.

I agree it's a huge sad deal that everyone who knew us, served with us and actually lived with us immediately nodded their heads in agreement with the MOG of the moment and like good little sheep trotted off to pasture without us. I think many of the people we knew lived in terror of being next on the list if they didn't join in.

You know, there's this scene, in a children's motion picture, I think it's Babe; it is in the opening scenes, where the narrator is telling how the pigs all thought when they were loaded on the truck they were being carted away to a happy place with good things to eat, when in fact it was just to the slaughterhouse to made into hams and bacon etc. So they joyfully viewed the truck as their conveyance to joy and peace when in fact it was their conveyance to death and destruction.

Perhaps the ones who stayed, the ones who agree with the leadership and buy their filthy lies are victims also. Unfortunately, though, they don't smell the death and destruction emanating from the slaughterhouse just yet.

For what's it worth,

WG

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Jeff, I only know you from here, but I'd say you have a life. A pretty good one, too.

You have had some horrible things happen in your life so far, but you've survived to tell the tale, and you something genuine to share with others. You have found compassion and the ability to see through lies and deception. You've been hurt, but you've got over that. You've been belittled, slandered, abused, and you've got over that. You've grown in your ability to discern the truth behind the facade. You've found a strength that you did not know you had. You have found backbone to stand up to abusers.

Life is not the same as it was before. Some things aren't going to be as they might have been - your future with your wife, your son. That doesn't mean you don't have a bright future ahead - you can look to God to be a rewarder, to restore the years the locust has stolen.

Meanwhile, the person who posted that horrible thing needs to look in their own life to see what they're treasuring: short sightedness, bitterness, lack of compassion, lack of empathy, lack of loving kindness. The spiritual thoughts that that person harbors do not seem to emanate from the God of love. Poor them. They need to get a life, LOL, a real life in community with other people, with all their attendant messiness and difficulties.

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#1 Since they have no real good answer for my points they unfortunately decide to slip back out of the limelight and keep the twisted, cruel, and manipulative things of Barnard's manner to themselves without ever really realizing how much of their reality is pure kaka.

#2 They actively engage why they look down at me and realize Barnard was manipulative liar that even fooled my ex-wife into believing he was such a good man that she did her part in wrecking my life and trying to break me too.

#3 They attack with their probably painful version of my life seeing as it is undoubtedly filled with at at least half-truths and even genuine faults of mine but sooner or later it will become evident that I was not even close to being as worthy of their own condemnation as the man that led them into condemning me.

If I was a betting man I'd bet they will take the route that is cowardly yet allows them to think they are all that.

I need to add one more possibility to the above list of possibilities....

#4 They embark on a campaign of seeking to aquire friends and allies here at GSC in order to manipulate folks into look down at me as they do and spread their poison in peoples' views to the point where everybody considers me the bad guy.

Now for me, I do not believe that me considering this possibility is based on paranoia, but on simple recollection of how they operate behind the scenes. Like the proverbial poison serpent, they function at their very best when they get you before you ever see them coming. And like the rattlesnake, their warning is a fearsome sound but I know that they only operate in such a hidden and nasty way because like the rattlesnake, they are rightly afraid of being stepped on.

Personally, I'd prefer them to have such an open and honest manner of behavior that they need not be afraid of the honest and bold people in the world; who do not need to hide their poisonous nature in such an aggressive and damaging manner as they really, really do.

_______________________________

Thank you very much my love, WG, and Twinky!

It is very good for me to hear your feedback because to me they all resonate with a soundness and a compassion that seems to be missing from my former aquaintances that are at present still more entangled in RRF doctrine and practices than I am. And I earnestly hope that your words resonate in their ears more than mine seem to have, as they seem to have relegated me to only be looked down upon and insulted for the time being.

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I need to add one more possibility to the above list of possibilities....

#4 They embark on a campaign of seeking to aquire friends and allies here at GSC in order to manipulate folks into look down at me as they do and spread their poison in peoples' views to the point where everybody considers me the bad guy.

Now for me, I do not believe that me considering this possibility is based on paranoia, but on simple recollection of how they operate behind the scenes. Like the proverbial poison serpent, they function at their very best when they get you before you ever see them coming. And like the rattlesnake, their warning is a fearsome sound but I know that they only operate in such a hidden and nasty way because like the rattlesnake, they are rightly afraid of being stepped on.

Personally, I'd prefer them to have such an open and honest manner of behavior that they need not be afraid of the honest and bold people in the world; who do not need to hide their poisonous nature in such an aggressive and damaging manner as they really, really do.

_______________________________

Thank you very much my love, WG, and Twinky!

It is very good for me to hear your feedback because to me they all resonate with a soundness and a compassion that seems to be missing from my former aquaintances that are at present still more entangled in RRF doctrine and practices than I am. And I earnestly hope that your words resonate in their ears more than mine seem to have, as they seem to have relegated me to only be looked down upon and insulted for the time being.

You're welcome ~!

One of the most valuable things I took from TWI and still apply, I hope, is how NOT to treat people and I learned to understand that I can do more good if I meet people where THEY are, not where I wish they'd hurry up and get to.

If those from RFR never learn compassion, kindness, patience (something I know you're strong in) and learn the basics of human behavior as to engaging another for hoped for results, then I fear they shall just remain ignorant, blind, accusatory, ugly hearted. What a shame and loss to their lives, not to mention those that they might otherwise have benefited if not for their stupidity.

Here at GSC, I believe the majority of us get that, if simply because we use two brain cells together; we've been there and have a few ugly tshirts as our grand prizes. That they refuse to fire any synapse to the end of a whole thought isn't your fault.

As a contributor to our little family around here, you get the benefit of friendships and like minded others who don't wish for you to be hurt or in pain or lose any more please.

We support each other here; that aint a difficult concept, even for silly people. I don't want to invite them to cause you more and/or further crap, but you're made it crystal clear you prefer straight out, straight up truth as opposed to slinking around behind huge dirty rocks, peeking at you with heavy laden bloodshot eyes.

Ew

wave.gif

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Jeff, Shellon, et al,

It took a lot of time for me to put away all my anger, frustration and fear, along with the self-distrust I felt. I still occasionally run across a bit of it, like a grain of salt under my fingernail that needs to be brushed away.

You will heal. We all will. God promised it and He alone does not lie.

WG

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<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0pOAVGvePQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0pOAVGvePQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0pOAVGvePQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

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What did I say that was mean? I certainly did not intend to sound mean, but perhaps rather comforting. I simply meant that it takes time to heal. It has and does still for me.

WG

Not crazy about speaking for excathedra, but I think she was speaking of the 'get a life' comment that was given to Jeff

smile.gif

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In TWI-think, airing dirty laundry is worse than producing dirty laundry. The True Believers with the greatest truth about God since the first century church must appear perfect, especially to outsiders. You can do atrocious things to your fellow believers with out repercursion--unless someone blabs. It is the acknowledgement and speaking up that is truly evil in their warped minds.

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God first

Get a life you fool!

01-26-2010

I was thinking what would the Way Ministry say to me “Get a life you fool” because I sure they do not like me. They called me many names and said I am not alone meaning I have devil spirit with me everywhere I go.

But in truth they have the evil spirit with them but I just think things out different to them how can a group be so dense about love I guess they don’t understand love at all. Because sure do not have any love at all because all I see is hate.

They want to control me so they can prove me wrong but everyday more people leave the Way Ministry and our number raise. Are we doing something right I ask you thank you, with love and a holy kiss Roy.

Edited by year2027
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