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The Death of a New Green Card


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One of my writing assignments at HQ was to write benefits for a new witnessing card to be used sort of like the old green card was--you know, the one that listed the class benefits (makes life meaningful, promotes harmony in the home, etc.). So I drew up a list of 20 or 30 positive things that the ministry claims to provide for people through its teachings. After revising and whittling it down, I ended up with a list of 8 or so short simple benefits. The funny thing was that all of us who reviewed this list said that we wanted this kind of life--and we were all Way Corps on staff who were supposed to have these things (such as "redirects to a positive lifestyle"). After this was submitted to the Queen, she shot it down and said that we can't make such claims.

Afraid of another lawsuit maybe...?

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One of my writing assignments at HQ was to write benefits for a new witnessing card to be used sort of like the old green card was--you know, the one that listed the class benefits (makes life meaningful, promotes harmony in the home, etc.). So I drew up a list of 20 or 30 positive things that the ministry claims to provide for people through its teachings. After revising and whittling it down, I ended up with a list of 8 or so short simple benefits. The funny thing was that all of us who reviewed this list said that we wanted this kind of life--and we were all Way Corps on staff who were supposed to have these things (such as "redirects to a positive lifestyle"). After this was submitted to the Queen, she shot it down and said that we can't make such claims.

Wow.. Can't make such claims.. Unable to back them up. And she knows it. And you people who are reading this and still in want to still stick by this sinking ship?

I just don't get it!

Corps grads salivating over the benefits you're listing for the foundational class you've had a zillion times.. That's just classic! And it's really sad all those who are still duped. Usually after you sign up for something that claims it gives you x, y, and z, and you never got any of those, usually you dump it, or call the Better business bureau for false claims.

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If they still need help with that witnessing card, maybe I can give a hand...

1.Frustrated making decisions for yourself?

2.Want to feel superior to all others (except your leadership)?

3.Too much time on your hands?

4.Tired of spending time with your family?

5. Not sure what to do with those pesky leftover dollars?

6. Longing for a mind-fark?

7. Hankering to follow a crusty-twatted old witch and her team of flying monkeys?

8. Want to witness a mighty grab for power when they put the C-T O W in the ground?

Anyone else care to help?

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When the lady (bless her heart) who signed me up put the green card in front of my face and asked me which benefit I'd like to receive, I opted for "enables you to separate truth from error." That happened all right, but only after I had left TWI and begun re-examing PFAL with a fine-tooth cootie comb.

Love,

Steve

Edited by Steve Lortz
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When the lady (bless her heart) who signed me up put the green card in front of my face and asked me which benefit I'd like to receive, I opted for "enables you to separate truth from error." That happened all right, but only after I had left TWI and begun re-examing PFAL with a fine-tooth cootie comb.

Love,

Steve

You heard it here first, folks, The Way has cooties.

:biglaugh:

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