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rethinking a song i once loved


brainfixed
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i don't remember the words except for a couple of lines that went "i'm standing today where all the winners have lost. i'm counting the blessings, they're counting the cost."

that song used to make me feel like there was going to be a day when i was all grown up and "spiritually mature" and all the cost to mind and body would have somehow turned into "the blessings" and i'd be a "winner".

it's not true! staying in the way international was the cost!

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it's not true! staying in the way international was the cost!

Yep, it's twelve years I will never recoup. The damage is done and the only thing is to pick up the pieces and move onwards. However my worst day outside of the way international is better than the best days inside the way international. And I have finally found the freedom they said I could only have by discipling myself to their legalistic dogma.

Of course those dorks like to quote John 10:10 and emphasize that the devil does nothing but steal, kill, and destroy. Then they turn around and discount when God prospers and repays a person post way international as the work of the devil. More double talk. The hypocrites really hate it when someone breaks the way international's bonds and moves on to greener pastures.

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I think back on the time I was in.

And the "lost years" - the time after I'd been kicked out and was in deep depression and incapable of sustaining anything. Incapable of returning to my pre-TWI career, making any decision or anything. The burden of guilt laid on me in TWI-2 was vile.

I've missed out in marriage, in opportunities to bear children, financially, professionally.

I was ... quite a nice person before. I became difficult; and after getting tossed out like a used diaper, became even more difficult to be around. Meltdown.

Now I think of what I have gained.

A deeper understanding of reaching out to others; of being compassionate, non-judgmental, of seeing the other side, and of a richer relationship with God, who has always been there for me, even when I was at my utmost lowest - a state of mind I would not wish on the person I hated most.

I think I've been into parts of my mind that I wouldn't have ventured into before.

And I think I'm a better, nicer, more caring person than I was before.

TWI is, without doubt, a cost.

But having paid the price (and we all have!) what to do with what you got? Make something positive out of it. !!!

If nothing else - it shows you how NOT to live life; what to be wary of; how easily you could become like that bully in TWI.

It gives you something to fight against and something to fight for.

And I stilll say: some of the most awesomely wonderful people I've ever met have been ex-Way people, because of their genuine passion for the things of God and their efforts to live life in a Godly way.

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I think back on the time I was in.

And the "lost years" - the time after I'd been kicked out and was in deep depression and incapable of sustaining anything. Incapable of returning to my pre-TWI career, making any decision or anything. The burden of guilt laid on me in TWI-2 was vile.

I've missed out in marriage, in opportunities to bear children, financially, professionally.

I was ... quite a nice person before. I became difficult; and after getting tossed out like a used diaper, became even more difficult to be around. Meltdown.

Twinky, you're all right by me. We've all lost, and all are rebuilding the years the worms have eaten. All we can do is refute the lies, speak up, and improve our lives. That we are prospering in all categories is the best revenge. Then they have to sputter and say but... but... but....

Ultimately, vengeance is mine saith the Lord, and I will repay. People who think they can abuse their brethren and say they know Jesus are in for a rude awakening.

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Sounds like a song by Stevie Kay - I like it, too. Something about the price Jesus Christ paid for you.

There are indeed still costs I am paying for associations I made through twi, but I still feel that I gained more from it than I lost. Thankfully I got out when the organization started on it's "public" nose dive. By that I mean, when as a "leaf" out in the field, it seemed the organization's goals were no longer teaching the truth, loving people in imitation of the way God loved them, and research to learn rather than to forward private agendas, I left. The organization may have become (or as some think, been) rotten, but it's still where I learned how to understand a lot of what I was reading in the Bible, and I met some amazing people (and continue to meet more here) that have enriched my life greatly. While I abhor the evil that was perpetrated, I am still thankful for the goodness I gained.

Throughout my entire life I will be involved with different organizations, and all of them will be made up of people, so none of them will be all good. I like to learn and absorb the good, and toss out the bad. And keep walking forward enjoying life to the fullest extent possible.

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i think that i'd be a little bit less "negative" and have a more "balanced" view of the way international being just another cruddy organization if it weren't for the fact that i was not given a choice about being in the mess, and if it weren't for the fact that the way international preyed on teenagers and very young adults that didn't have or even know how to have solid boundaries in life particularly concerning "ministers". i think that the biggest reason the way international shrank so rapidly was because american society was no longer a society that thought christianity was the end all be all choice of beliefs, and i think that the way international is picking up with the younger generations now is because america turned back to bible thumping bullying in the face of "islamic terrorism". society has a big impact on the thinking of the individual and the way international grew its most because "jesus people" were looking for a more stable organization, but then all the fear put into people's heads about cults and the whole jim jones and david koresh and heaven's gate and all those crazy headliners that were not just the run of the mill cult stuff where people were getting married in groups and the idea of weapons and mass violence came around and the way international people began to wake up too, but now society is back at the idea that anything non-christian is "evil" and "anti american" and "dangerous" so anything christian like but still not your daddy's religion will draw in the young people and children rebelling but not rebelling to the point of changing basic religions. well whatever i just said if it makes any sense, i think that whenever there is a situation where the already hurting and searching for answers must trust someone then there's a big difference between the way international and oh let's say a community mental health center or a group home. the laws that govern those last two are strict and firm, but the laws that govern religious organizations are loose and rarely can be applied in a "brainwashing" situation that is typical for cults. so i guess even thinking about it now i don't get how the way international can be seen as just any other cruddy organization unless it's just fanatical religious organizations being used in the comparison. maybe in another decade or so i could see the point. i don't know.

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thinking about the song lyrics to "W-O-W" by Deb O . . . Had they changed the phrase "like a beacon in the night" to "like bacon in the night" . . . I think a lot more people would have stayed.

If people flock in droves toward a beacon . . . and they were expecting bacon . . . and there was no bacon . . . well . . . people will move on in search of bacon.

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thinking about the song lyrics to "W-O-W" by Deb O . . . Had they changed the phrase "like a beacon in the night" to "like bacon in the night" . . . I think a lot more people would have stayed.

If people flock in droves toward a beacon . . . and they were expecting bacon . . . and there was no bacon . . . well . . . people will move on in search of bacon.

I knew somehow this thread could be saved if someone brought bacon into it.

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Thye song is "oh, the price He paid for you" by Dean Ellenwood, originally for Stefani Kay' s album Love Child, re-recorded by Dean for his CD God Bless You

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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Thye song is "oh, the price He paid for you" by Dean Ellenwood, originally for Stefani Kay' s album Love Child, re-recorded by Dean for his CD God Bless You

do you know all the words to the song? i would like to know the rest of the words because i did love the song so much and it would be nice to know what i loved about it now that i know the name of the song.

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should have done spell check on "the" :biglaugh: . Sorry Brainfixed, I don't have the lyrics written out. You proably don't have the album by Stevie(Stefani) Kay, nor Gregory Dean Ellenwood's CD(got it from Ex-Way members CD's). Interesting that JN, GS, PDSTARO by late 70's went CW/Bluegrass, while Paul Vergillio/Paolo Emillio Dionisio went from rock to disco, to pop :offtopic:

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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From a purely biblical/salvation point of view, the song does represent what Jesus Christ has done for us, regardless of the blessings we weren't getting while in The Way. The reason that you liked it probably was because of what it represented, not what you may or may not have been actually receiving while in. I am and have been, thankfully, very long gone from The Way, but I still love what that song represents to me, as a Christian anyway. To some of you who may not embrace Christianity any longer, then maybe the opposite is true. And to many here who have been scarred badly from time in The Way, no matter how sweet the sound of the song, and the richness of the words, the song may bring back bad remembrances, and then the song will then be a "wrong thing" for you to hear or listen to, and I understand that also. But, as for me, I still love the song, and I think that when Stevie Kay Louis was singing it for us, she meant no harm, but rather the love of God toward us, the listeners. My two cents anyway...

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Some of the lyrics from memory. I was in a band and we used to do this one for coffes houses out in Oregon:

"I spent most of my life, without a dime to my name,

While friends all around me found fortune and fame.

Now I've finally won, it cost God His Son,

And Oh the price he paid for you...

In my eyes, I was nothin-to no one,

but in God's eyes I reigned supreme. (da doot da do!)

I thought my life wasn't worth, the pains of-my-birth!

But to God I'm worth everything!

When my ships were comin' in,

they went down of the coast,

my friends all ran out on me

When I needed them most

But I've finally won,

It cost God His Son

And oh the price he paid

for you-ooh, ooh ooh,

for yoooohhh...

Now, that is no doubt not quite put toghether correctly. All the words are accurate, but there may be more verses, and I may have it all out of order. I am checking at The Way Corps site and left a post for the accurate words to this so I can get it to you Brainfixed. And hey, I like your screen name. Glad you are fixed! Your brain that is. Hah! :)

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Some of the lyrics from memory. I was in a band and we used to do this one for coffes houses out in Oregon:

"I spent most of my life, without a dime to my name,

While friends all around me found fortune and fame.

Now I've finally won, it cost God His Son,

And Oh the price he paid for you...

Chorus:

In my eyes, I was nothin-to no one,

but in God's eyes I reigned supreme. (da doot da do!)

I thought my life wasn't worth, the pains of-my-birth!

But to God I'm worth everything!

When my ships were comin' in,

they went down of the coast,

my friends all ran out on me

When I needed them most

But I've finally won,

It cost God His Son

And oh the price he paid

for you-ooh, ooh ooh,

for yoooohhh...

Now, that is no doubt not quite put toghether correctly. All the words are accurate, but there may be more verses, and I may have it all out of order. I am checking at The Way Corps site and left a post for the accurate words to this so I can get it to you Brainfixed. And hey, I like your screen name. Glad you are fixed! Your brain that is. Hah! :)

Clay,

I think you're close - I found someone doing a rendition of this on YouTube - the lyrics I think are pretty accurate on the verses, but wrong on the chorus - it also sounds different than I remember though. I think your lyrics on the chorus are accurate in lines 1,2, and 4, but I can't remember line 3.

Lyrics

I spent most of my life without a dime to my name

while friends all around me made fortune and fame

I felt my life wasn't worth the pains of my birth

oh the price He paid for me

when my ship was sailing in it went down off the coast

my friends all ran out when I needed them most

I felt my life was nothing til god made it something

oh the price he paid for me

chorus1

oh the price he paid for me

there upon the cross at calvary

he died for my sins. In my heart I let him in

oh the price he paid for me

so now I'm standing today where all the winners have lost

I'm counting the blessings, they're counting the cost

you think your life isn't worth the pains of your birth

but oh the price he paid for you

chorus2

oh the price he paid for you

he died on the cross for you too

he died for your sins

in your heart please let him in?

Oh the price he paid for you

chorus1

oh the price he paid for you

oh the price he paid...for us!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vHYmzNfP8E

It's a really awesome song.

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I'm a bit confused. Based on information in the youtube posting and the information on her own channel, this person is claiming authorship.

Really? I didn't actually listen to her version of it. But I did see a few words in there that seemed to have been changed. But most of it seemed just the way Ellenwood wrote it. And, the girl in the photo seems to be younger than Dean Ellenwood, so, I would be surprised if she wrote it when she was like three, or twelve, and then, like, Dean Ellenwood stole it from her...

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Really? I didn't actually listen to her version of it. But I did see a few words in there that seemed to have been changed. But most of it seemed just the way Ellenwood wrote it. And, the girl in the photo seems to be younger than Dean Ellenwood, so, I would be surprised if she wrote it when she was like three, or twelve, and then, like, Dean Ellenwood stole it from her...

According to the personal information she posted on her channel (HERE), she is 50 years old and traveled with Carol King for a couple years. The youtube implies this is an "original" and was written by her. Something isn't lining up here.

Edited by waysider
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She claims authorship of this one, as well.

http://www.youtube.com/user/dleewhee#p/u/65/_rKjV6Chnxs

Do you know, or does somebody else know how to check for a copyright on this? As Way lore would have it, this (He Gave Me Love) was written by Stevie Kay and Loretta Lynn supposidely wanted to record it. So there was a big meeting with the BOT and it was feared that Loretta Lynn would most certainly change the context of the song from God to a lover. For that reason V.P. decided not to sell the rights to Ms. Lynn, because it would not be a glory to God.

For that story to be true, there would have had to have been a copyright to the song else Ms. Lynn could have taken it without having to approach TWI. What are the chances of TWI not telling the truth (I'm being sarcastic)?

As far as the other song, "O the Price He Paid for Me", I would just find it difficult to believe that Ellenwood would have plagarized this or anything else he did.

Edited by Broken Arrow
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Stevie Kay wrote He Gave Me Love in 1975 and was recorded on the America Awakes album

in 1976

Oh The Price He Paid is on Stevie's album Love Child recorded in 1977. The writers were Larry Panarello and Dean Ellenwood.

This gal Donna says her age is 50 so if we deduct 33 years that would make her 17 years old when these tunes were written and recorded. More than likely she was involved with The Way and heard both of those songs as preformed by the original artists

Far as Loretta Lynn wanting to record He Gave Me Love I know that did not happen.

Bless You All

Ted

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