F.E.A.R.

[Belle]

Repost from WayDale or GSpot. I thought it was appropriate given the thread on leaving. Please note that there is a letter from leadership who is STILL IN CHARGE in this thread. Things have NOT changed, they just don't put things in writing anymore.

*******************

F.E.A.R

Only a week out of leaving TWI and I am amazed at how clearly I can think and that more and more I am feeling peaceful. Peaceful! Now that’s a concept that has been foreign for too long. I am even enjoyng reading the Word again!

We were always taught that fear = False Evidence Appearing Real. This can be true, but especially within the walls of TWI. Everything I did was based on fear. I became so encased with fear that I could no longer see joy in my life, and I could no longer manifest God’s love to people because I was bound and tormented by fear. The worst part about it, was that everyone else had fear too, but we all denied it.

Fear of consequence. Fear of repercussions. Fear of falling short. Fear of reproof. Fear of not being pleasing unto God. And the list goes on.

When my wife and I were deciding to leave, there would be times when I could do nothing but sit trembling like a terrified animal. To get past that final barrier to decide to leave was the HARDEST thing I have ever done.

The day finally arrives and we start to act on our decision, and something very strange happened. Fear started to disappear. We tell the people we are living with that we are leaving, and then leadership is contacted. The country coordinator comes around and tries to get into my face, literally! My wife completely ignores the coordinator and calmly walks into our bedroom so as not to have to listen to his B..... I look directly into his eyes (while he tries to intimidate me by having his face so close his nose is touching mine and screaming at me) and I say “You say there is freedom of choice? Then let us exercise our God given liberty and leave this work based pharisaic organization with some dignity!!”. Then we carried on packing while the country coordinator fumes and storms off with nothing else to say except a hiss. (that’s right! He hissed at me. Kind of reminds me of something in the Word about Vipers and religious leaders??!!)

My point? Just this – if any off you are still in and are trying to work up the courage to leave, do it! Very quickly you will find that all the fear that has been pushed down your throat is false. They have no more control over you than you let them have. Cast your cares upon God, and believe that He will direct your steps. You will have the right words to say at the right time to back down your enemy, and you will see God work to protect your family and yourself. Your Father wants you set free, and He will make a way. Trust Him.

[Belle]

outandabout

Likes juice squeezed not shaken

(4/9/01 8:43:33 pm)

Re: F.E.A.R

Amen & Amen.

I remember when I left how I was experiencing for the first time in years how to actually think my own thoughts, since I was always taught that all thoughts that didn't line up with what LEADERSHIP said were devilish.

Shortly after I had made my decision to leave for good, I was at work "setting up" a meeting room. All they wanted was for me to make sure the table was clean and that there were enough chairs.

I remember thinking, "Wow, it sure is nice to feel like I'm not going to be yelled at any minute."

Lots of epiphanies like that.

I can say this: after leaving I never for one minute regretted getting out. All I ever felt was relief, and some anger. I have never missed TWI, not ever. There's nothing to miss.

Zshot

Knows the Waitress's name

(4/9/01 8:53:18 pm)

Congrats!!!!!

Congrats!!!!!

Green eggs and Ham,

May you find great joy in your dicision.

You may soon discover the people who truly love and care for you and those who may have just gone through the motions.

God has blessed us with soooo many things. Go out and enjoy!!

Enjoy some quality family time. Take up a hobby or a sport. You will soon discover how much time TWI took from you.

Enjoy your new freedom!!!!

[Belle]

dabobbada

Polishes the silverware

(4/9/01 8:58:08 pm)

Re: F.E.A.R

Good show, old boy!

I wish I could have been there to see it. Making the decision not only gave you peace but the strength to withstand the tyranny of the devils onslaught.

The hissing was definitely from the "spirit" within.

I rejoice with you in your newfound freedom. May God fill your days with the unspeakable riches of His love and grace.

Bobba Dabobbada

Way II much fun for one man,

aka; Bob Hansen

Zixar

Magi in training

(4/9/01 8:58:44 pm)

Re: Congrats!!!!!

Well, you KNOW who the Word equates with a "roaring lion"... Welcome back to a life of God's Grace instead of Way-law!

God Bless!

Zixar

[Belle]

Mark Sanguinetti

Knows the Waitress's name

(4/10/01 1:11:36 am)

What do you say to a Pharisaical Nazi?

Great job GreenEggs! It sounds like you put that Pharisaical Nazi in his place. In addition to your bold words inspired by God, I might have told him that "your beloved ministry is going to get smaller and smaller as long as there are men like you to lead it." It might have started a riot, but I don't think I would have been able to resist. I sure hope he didn't have bad breath. Now that would have been real serious. Have Fun. Enjoy life.

Your Brother,

Mark

Ozbird

Likes the Lunch Menu

(4/10/01 2:47:05 am)

Interesting you should say that Green Eggs

Here is word for word the letter sent to me by the same leader not long after I left in 1998.

"I have been informed that you have called Ray and have been bad mouthing me. It is sad to especially see you Jackie sink so disgustingly low. The Word does say that when someone rejects God that thye will end up with a reprobate mind. it's amazing how quickly your mind has become unraveled. You are a true coward and filled to capacity with the spirit of fear. It's real brave talking behind someone's back. You cannot deny all your lies and all you are trying to do is justify your own sick lifestyle. If you want a fight I have a lot of information that would do you more damage than you could ever imagine. I even have you on tape, so I suggest that you keep your big loud mouth shut. You better think twice before you take me on and talk behind my back. You are messing with the wrong person. I'm sick of people like you!!! I'm not a door mat for your sick mind.

I suggest you do what you said you were going to do, go back to Australia to your mummy and daddy! Did Paul really think that I was stupid enough to believe that he was moving to Australia? You were not that hard to track down.

If you back off, you will never hear from me again, but if you want a fight I will take YOU on at any cost.

Name Witheld

PS I do not want a response, stay away from me physically and verbally. I'm holding a copy of this letter on file in case you try to misuse it."

--------------

Incidentally, the only bad mouthing I had done about him was to speak of the confrontation I had with him the day I left the ministry. Similar to Green Eggs experience.

Talk about point one finger at someone and point three back at yourself!!!

J.Witt

aka Ozbird

catcup

Loves the Grits

(4/10/01 6:00:32 am)

Re: Interesting you should say that Green Eggs

I think it's terrific you guys finally getting the balls to stand up to your leadership and leave. It must really freak them out to actually have people standing up to them. TWI is used to being able to separate and isolate those who resist their will. Before the internet, people were terribly isolated and left with not much of a support network.

Take a deep breath....

It's a NEW DAY...

blue rock

Likes the Lunch Menu

(4/10/01 6:31:00 am)

F.E.A.R

Interesting thread.

I think it's important for those innies coming around the cafe to know that getting up the courage to leave is the hardest part. At least it was for me.

Once I was on the phone with my TC telling him what I really thought of the way, I felt a tremendous burden lifted. I've felt more free in the past 6 months than the whole 16 years I spent in TWI.

Ozbird, I don't know what you said, but I'm sure there was a better way for that guy to handle the situation. I don't remember being taught to treat people that way in the corps

[WordWolf]

http://www.greasespotcafe.com/waydale/edit...exit-advice.htm

Here's how one person advised making an exit.

[mj412]

the first time I left I was afraid as well cried for weeks if not months... the second time I was not afraid I was convinced and the off-shoot deal just depressed me with the realization wow it was not ever about me at all..

[ChasUFarley]

I was afraid that by leaving I was "failing".

Fear of failure.

I had stayed in TWI after my marriage had failed, thinking that things would get better and I'd reapply for the Way Corps. I wanted to be a minister and loved serving - I was at every event possible and always tried to be the first to sign up for the crew. i started serving God in that capasity almost as soon as I finished my first PFAL class. But to leave - that would be washing 12 years of my life down the drain - I'd loose a lot of friends, etc. -

It got to the point where the cost of leaving was less than the cost of staying - that's when I knew I'd had enough.

If the life I have now is failure, then I'm the biggest looser you ever met!

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

chas in my book you are a big winner!

[Abigail]

I had panick attacks for about six months after I left. Even though my rational mind knew that I was no more likely to die out of TWI than in -there was a place in my heart and mind that kept whispering "what if they were right?".

I was afraid either myself or my kids would get killed and my now ex husband reinforced that fear by continually telling me I was outside God's hedge of protection and the devil was going to kill me or the kids.

Well its been almost 5 years and we are all alive and well.

[gladtobeout]

I left in 1989 and it was great. Oh that is not to say that I didn't miss some friends, but freedom is so wonderful and sweet. My relationship with God is better for it.

[CM]

don't know if anyone said this but

there was always fear of being confronted

on whatever you were thinking

even if you were right on with what was taught

and saw that what was taught was not being

practiced

[Belle]

For a particular lurker. ;)

[oilfieldmedic]

I seem to remember reading about a certain fellow, years and years ago,

and how he stood up to leadership...looked em' square in the eye and called them on for what they truly were.

...Y'all, we're in good company

False Evidence Appearing Real

Peace-Peace, wonderful peace! :)

[Watered Garden]

Medic,

Would this fellow perhaps have used terms like "blind eyes" or "whited sepulchures"?

Or "hypocrites"? I think that was one of His favorites!

WG

[justloafing]

don't know if anyone said this but<BR><BR>there was always fear of being confronted<BR>on whatever you were thinking<BR><BR>even if you were right on with what was taught<BR>and saw that what was taught was not being<BR>practiced

That just about says it all ;)

[excathedra]

'tis the gentleness aka lovingkindness of god that leads a man......

Here is word for word the letter sent to me by the same leader not long after I left in 1998.

"I have been informed that you have called Ray and have been bad mouthing me. It is sad to especially see you Jackie sink so disgustingly low. The Word does say that when someone rejects God that thye will end up with a reprobate mind. it's amazing how quickly your mind has become unraveled. You are a true coward and filled to capacity with the spirit of fear. It's real brave talking behind someone's back. You cannot deny all your lies and all you are trying to do is justify your own sick lifestyle. If you want a fight I have a lot of information that would do you more damage than you could ever imagine. I even have you on tape, so I suggest that you keep your big loud mouth shut. You better think twice before you take me on and talk behind my back. You are messing with the wrong person. I'm sick of people like you!!! I'm not a door mat for your sick mind.

I suggest you do what you said you were going to do, go back to Australia to your mummy and daddy! Did Paul really think that I was stupid enough to believe that he was moving to Australia? You were not that hard to track down.

If you back off, you will never hear from me again, but if you want a fight I will take YOU on at any cost.

Name Witheld

PS I do not want a response, stay away from me physically and verbally. I'm holding a copy of this letter on file in case you try to misuse it."

[oilfieldmedic]

Ya got it WG!

I am sure we could go on and on, no?

Edited January 1, 2006 by oilfieldmedic

[templelady]

From the link Word Wolf posted

Decide ahead of time your agenda for informing leadership. Keep it short. Keep in mind that whatever you say will most likely get twisted.

I submit that you don't tell leadership anything. Because in the final analysis it is this "duty to leadership" that you are trying to get away from. You simply stop attending functions, check your caller ID before answering the phone and mark "Return to Sender" on any mail ( and put them on your blocked senders list on e-mail). If they show up on your doorstep say very calmly "I'm sorry you are trespassing , if you don't leave at once the police will be called." shut the door and if necessary follow through with the police. ( if they use the ploy of sending friends to do their dirty work-understand that since the friends agreed to do it--painful as it may be to accept-these people are no longer your friends)

These are strong steps but as you employ each one you will find your self feeling more free and more in charge. Plus, by these actions you have made clear you wish no contact--and if they persist you will have set the foundation for legal action if it becomes necessary.

Edited January 1, 2006 by templelady