Rocky

YAY for being more compassionate. That was certainly stunted in TWI. As for matters of "love interest," I couldn't even hazard a guess. No doubt aging can be a factor. Being content in and with your own company isn't necessarily a bad thing. Emotional intimacy can be hard to find nowadays. I applaud you for sharing a little of your vulnerability with us. That suggests it may be possible for you to find some of that intimacy if you're not completely afraid to share what's going on between your ears.

That's incredibly sad, and probably much worse.

Gavid de Becker has updated his book a few times since you first read it. I haven't (yet) read it, but it should be on my list.

How sad. I appreciate you having shared your thought.

How very true, on all points.

Along the lines of serving as a role model being a better way to look at parental authority, today's post from Daily Stoic is particularly salient. It also occurs to me that instructing (commanding/enabling) people who are not up to the charge to exercise authority over their children is, doctrinally speaking, a grave injustice to the children AND subtly evil and when one recognizes it, brazenly false doctrine. In that, as Marcus writes in Book 1 of Meditations, the gods gave him Antoninus as “a ruler and a father.” The ancient world was a brutal, violent place. The entire history of emperors and kings was basically an endless parade of heirs getting rid of other potential heirs. Despite this precedent, despite being given the unenviable job of preparing a boy to replace him, Antoninus broke the mold and facilitated one of the greatest mentor relationships in history. More than not assassinating his rival, Antoninus committed fully to shaping and guiding the young boy, Marcus Aurelius, towards a kind of greatness that stretches beyond the imagination. More than being a stepfather, he became the boy’s true father, loving and raising him like a son. What exactly did Antoninus teach Marcus? In Marcus’s own words in Meditations, he learned the importance of: Compassion Hard work Persistence Altruism Humility Self-reliance Cheerfulness Constancy to friends. Marcus said he also learned how to keep an open mind and listen to anyone who could contribute, how to take responsibility and blame, and how to put other people at ease. He learned how to yield the floor to experts and use their advice, how to respect tradition, how to keep a good schedule, and never get worked up. Antoninus taught Marcus how to be indifferent to superficial honors and to treat people as they deserved to be treated. It’s quite a list, isn’t it? Better still that the lessons were, as we recently talked about, embodied in Antoninus’s actions. There is no better way to learn than from a role model. There is nothing luckier than getting to be in constant company with someone we would most like to be one day. And as any parent knows, there is no better gift than the opportunity to be for our children what Antoninus was for Marcus.

The topic of childhood trauma came up very recently in another GSC forum as a result of something TWI posted on its website about parents exercising authority over children. As my manner is, I reflected on my experience, this time since leaving twi, because I didn't have any children while IN twi. Thankfully, my child is grown and is a well-functioning member of society, in spite of the baggage I brought to and unloaded on her as a result of TWI's now obviously FALSE DOCTRINE about childrearing. This came to me today because I learned of a memoir, What My Bones Know, written by a survivor of complex PTSD from her childhood. Clearly, TWI doesn't have a monopoly on (much of anything) causing childhood trauma. But for anyone who thinks about this now 20 years after the start of this thread, maybe this story of a determined young woman's journey of healing might offer some insight and hope.

The topic of childhood trauma came up very recently in another GSC forum as a result of something TWI posted on its website about parents exercising authority over children. As my manner is, I reflected on my experience, this time since leaving twi, because I didn't have any children while IN twi. Thankfully, my child is grown and is a well-functioning member of society, in spite of the baggage I brought to and unloaded on her as a result of TWI's now obviously FALSE DOCTRINE about childrearing. This came to me today because I learned of a memoir, What My Bones Know, written by a survivor of complex PTSD from her childhood. Clearly, TWI doesn't have a monopoly on (much of anything) causing childhood trauma. But for anyone who thinks about this now 20 years after the start of this thread, maybe this story of a determined young woman's journey of healing might offer some insight and hope.

A search on (OF) this website for "childhood trauma" returns more than 1,400 results. Correction: without the quotation marks, the search returned 1,423 results. WITH the quotes limiting the search to that phrase only, it returned 8 results. I took one of those results (from the archive) and started a revisited thread in About TWI.

Both of Foo's parents abandoned her when she was a teenager, after years of physical and verbal abuse and neglect. She thought she'd moved on, but her new diagnosis illuminated the way her past continued to threaten her health, relationships, and career. She found limited resources to help her, so Foo set out to heal herself, and to map her experiences onto the scarce literature about C-PTSD. In this deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations. Ultimately, she discovers that you don't move on from trauma--but you can learn to move with it. ----- One reviewer wrote: In What My Bones Know, accomplished journalist Stephanie Foo writes about receiving a diagnosis of complex posttraumatic stress disorder and the steps she took to heal herself. One of the elements of this book I enjoyed right from the start includes how Foo writes about her trauma with such realness and vulnerability. The physical and emotional abuse her parents put her through felt painful to read though also cathartic as a fellow survivor of child abuse. In addition to destigmatizing child abuse and PTSD, Foo shed lights on her estrangement from her father that occurred later in her life. I imagine this book will feel comforting for folks who have also experienced difficult family dynamics, as Foo does not hold back about her pain even as she persists in her path forward to healing. ----- Obviously this brings up blatant parallels between the OP from TWI's website and perhaps from Bolshevik's life experience. It is clear to me now, more than 35 years after I left twi and having raised a child who thankfully is a well-functioning adult, that twi's DOCTRINE is f**ked up.

Goodreads dot com sends me an email every day with updates on what my friends are reading or have read. This morning, I first became aware of the difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD because one friend had read and rated (five stars) What My Bones Know: A Memoir. PTSD vs. Complex PTSD Both PTSD and C-PTSD result from the experience of something deeply traumatic and can cause flashbacks, nightmares, and insomnia. Both conditions can also make you feel intensely afraid and unsafe even though the danger has passed. However, despite these similarities, there are characteristics that differentiate C-PTSD from PTSD according to some experts. The main difference between the two disorders is the frequency of the trauma. While PTSD is caused by a single traumatic event, C-PTSD is caused by long-lasting trauma that continues or repeats for months, even years (commonly referred to as "complex trauma").1 Unlike PTSD, which can develop regardless of what age you are when the trauma occurred, C-PTSD is typically the result of childhood trauma. When it comes to Complex PTSD, the harmful effects of oppression and racism can add layers to complex trauma experienced by individuals. This is further compounded if the justice system is involved.2 The psychological and developmental impacts of complex trauma early in life are often more severe than a single traumatic experience—so different, in fact, that many experts believe that the PTSD diagnostic criteria don't adequately describe the wide-ranging, long-lasting consequences of C-PTSD.

I figured that had been your point.

I posit that they are well able to do both. Of course, using a figure of speech, that's exactly what you did too.

My point is poignantly (hopefully well) made in my comment two comments up from this one. (2nd from last on the previous page).

Well, except the children one has the sacred responsibility to raise.

As far as a parent leading a child in the way s/he should go, it now occurs to me that may reasonably really mean by setting a powerful example of what it is and what it takes to love one another. Authoritarian domination of children is evil... hopefully a child so subjected can grow into being a person who loves God and others genuinely.

Well, it certainly is NOT critical thinking or analysis. But it does seem to reflect magical thinking. As if God's going to automatically supply everything a parent needs. Which leaves room only for blaming a lack of believing when it doesn't happen. That, IMO, is complete horsespit. More appropriately, parents have responsibility to care for a child or children. I was so damn naive when I was in twi.

Primarily, modcat5 and modgellan. They carry the heavy load of moderating. Their qualifications? Primarily their temperament. They've done well through the decades.

Did you report the post/thread so a moderator will consider doing so?

Because, of course, The Word (according to Victor) takes the place of the absent Christ.

9 The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. 10 For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; 11 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’[a]” 12 Jesus answered, “It is said: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’[b]” [So, we see that even the debbil can quote scripture...] Even the Bard knew this centuries ago... “The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. An evil soul producing holy witness Is like a villain with a smiling cheek, A goodly apple rotten at the heart. O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!” ― William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

I'm more interested in the ideas than the people who express them. I was neither missing nor making your point. Apparently, we were discussing the same thing from a different angle.

Very true.