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Name that Star Trek Episode


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Not much to go on, there.

I'm going to guess "Turnabout Intruder," the original series episode where a woman exchanges minds with Kirk. When Spock, Scotty, and Bones figure it out and conspire against her, she orders them executed. Of course, since no one violated "General Order IV," Sulu and Chekhov refuse to comply. The intense anger drives the woman's mind back into her own body, and Kirk's to his. As I recall, it was the last OS episode aired.

George

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I don't know the episode's name-but I should.

Data was having odd waking dreams, seeing mouths on crewmembers, and a straw and

similar things. He even consulted a holodeck simulation of Sigmund Freud about them.

(Freudian diagnoses was amazingly funny for this case-if Steve! posts the exchange,

you'll get the idea.)

Turned out some lifeforms slightly out of phase were parasites, and feeding off the

cellular peptides of the crewmembers. (In his dream, Worf was eating

"cellular peptide cake...with mint frosting".)

It's also the episode where Data, concerned he was attacking crew (subconsciously

trying to hit a parasite) that he asked Worf to watch Spot for him.

It's a priceless scene, between the way Worf held the cat and Data's elaborate

instructions, and how Worf agreed.

I used to remember the name...

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*looks it up* "Phantasms." Other than not having the name, I had the right episode.

Ok, next one.

"It is called Kal'Hyah -- the path of clarity."

"You've put on weight. And your hair is going gray."

"My deterioration is proceeding apace."

"I thought you would be in your grave by now."

"I shall endeavor to die this year if possible."

"We are not accorded the luxury of choosing the women we fall in love with. Do you think Sirella is anything like the woman I thought I'd marry? She is a mercurial, arrogant, prideful woman who shares my bed far too infrequently for my taste.

And yet... I love her deeply. We Klingons often tout our prowess in battle and our desire for honor and glory above all else... but how hollow is the sound of victory without someone to share it with. And Honor gives little comfort to a man alone in his home... and in his heart."

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"Phantasms" is correct, of course.

Here is the passage WW was referring to:

Data lying on an analyst's couch, staring up at the

ceiling.

DATA

It is difficult to explain.

Counselor Troi's body was -- a cake.

Freud raises a bushy eyebrow, intrigued.

FREUD

Her upper-body...

(scribbles a note)

Describe the knife you used to... "cut" the Counselor.

DATA

It had a black handle and a serrated blade. And it was quite long.

Freud reacts.

FREUD

How long?

DATA

Approximately twenty-five centimeters in length.

Freud nods and grunts, as if this has great meaning.

FREUD

What happened next?

Data remembers.

DATA

One of the workmen pointed to her right shoulder. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming urge to cut a piece out of the cake.

FREUD

And did you... ?

Data's face darkens slightly -- he's troubled by the memory.

DATA

Yes. As I began to slice the cake, she reacted as though I was causing her pain. And yet, I could not stop cutting.

(beat)

It was then that I woke up.

FREUD

Mmm...

Freud jots down another note.

DATA

I am curious, Doctor Freud... what do my nightmares mean?

Freud takes a moment, then he sets down his note pad and stands... moves to a nearby cigar box and takes out a VERY LARGE CIGAR. He toys with it throughout the scene.

FREUD

I believe you are experiencing a classic dismemberment dream. Or in your case... being a mechanical man... a dismantlement dream.

DATA

I do not understand.

As Freud explains, he moves about the room, quickly rattling off his theories with great enthusiasm.

FREUD

Your mechanistic qualities are trying to reassert themselves over your human tendencies. Ego and id are struggling for domination.

The "workmen" symbolize the ever-present id constantly working to destroy the ego.

(beat)

The image of Counselor Troi, a female, is devoured by you... clearly indicating an unconscious desire to possess your own mother.

DATA

But I do not have a mother.

FREUD

(quickly)

Do not interrupt. The knife and its violent connotation suggests a certain feeling of sexual inadequacy...

DATA

I have no sexual desires.

FREUD

(reacts)

Ach! Repression on top of everything. It is all becoming clear to me now...

(thinks)

There might be a paper in this... I could call it "Mister D: An Analysis of Android Dementia."

Data stands up from the couch -- he's had enough.

DATA

I do not believe I am being helped by this session.

Freud turns to Data, raising his voice.

FREUD

Classic transference! Your anger toward me is, in fact, the animosity you feel toward your father.

(beat)

You are a polymorphously-perverse individual, Mister Data, and I recommend full psychoanalysis.

He glances at his note pad.

FREUD

(continuing)

I believe I can fit you in... next Tuesday.

DATA

That will not be necessary.

(to computer)

Computer -- end program.

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Thanks, Steve!

DS9: "You Are Cordially Invited"

Worf's wedding to Jadzia, though the best lines come from Martok and his wife.

George

Correct episode. I knew the Martok quote I ended with was the giveaway,

but it's easily the best quote in an entire episode of great quotes.

It's one of the few episodes I think viewers should sit down, and watch without

interruption or multitasking.

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"The ambient noise level in this room is less than 30 decibels! On an average day it's 65. When there are Klingons in the room in can go as high as 85!"

"So, what you're trying to say is: It's quiet in here?"

"Too quiet!"

"They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!"

"Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."

"You're saying my son is without honor?"

"I'm saying your son is a coward and a liar!"

"And what of his father?!"

"That remains to be seen."

"Let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor."

"Guess again!"

George

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"If you turn your back on me now, for as long as I live, you will not be welcome anywhere in the Klingon Empire. Your family will be removed from the High Council, your lands seized, and your House stripped of its titles. You will have nothing!"

"Except my honor."

"I finally realized it wasn't Starfleet I wanted to get away from. I was trying to escape the pain I felt after my wife's death. I thought I could take the uniform, wrap it around the pain, and toss them both away. But it doesn't work like that. Running may help for a little while, but sooner or later the pain catches up with you. And the only way to get rid of it is to stand your ground and face it."

"The ambient noise level in this room is less than 30 decibels! On an average day it's 65. When there are Klingons in the room in can go as high as 85!"

"So, what you're trying to say is: It's quiet in here?"

"Too quiet!"

"They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!"

"Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."

"You're saying my son is without honor?"

"I'm saying your son is a coward and a liar!"

"And what of his father?!"

"That remains to be seen."

"Let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor."

"Guess again!"

George

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"If you turn your back on me now, for as long as I live, you will not be welcome anywhere in the Klingon Empire. Your family will be removed from the High Council, your lands seized, and your House stripped of its titles. You will have nothing!"

"Except my honor."

"I finally realized it wasn't Starfleet I wanted to get away from. I was trying to escape the pain I felt after my wife's death. I thought I could take the uniform, wrap it around the pain, and toss them both away. But it doesn't work like that. Running may help for a little while, but sooner or later the pain catches up with you. And the only way to get rid of it is to stand your ground and face it."

"The ambient noise level in this room is less than 30 decibels! On an average day it's 65. When there are Klingons in the room in can go as high as 85!"

"So, what you're trying to say is: It's quiet in here?"

"Too quiet!"

"They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!"

"Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos."

"You're saying my son is without honor?"

"I'm saying your son is a coward and a liar!"

"And what of his father?!"

"That remains to be seen."

"Let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor."

"Guess again!"

George

Ok, let's see.

The 'tailor' comment and 'cutting remarks' bracket Garak getting assaulted in his shop, and being doctored.

Klingons, or someone else? I forget.

The second quote was Sisko explaining how he felt after his wife passed away.

The very first quote was when the Klingons went to war and ended their treaty with the Federation, and Worf chose to

remain with the Federation. (Spelling doom for Kurn and the House of Mogh, pretty much.)

Is that enough, or do you need more?

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Good enough. DS9 "Way of the Warrior."

Go WW.

George

I thought that was the title, but I wasn't sure.

Odd seeing Worf with the red uniform the first time.

I was glad, later, that the scriptwriters read the Star Trek DS9 Nitpickers Guide,

and later scripts fixed the complaints on earlier scripts.

Like how Worf's job seemed to be light-since he can just get up and leave

whenever he wants, and a later episode when he was away showed the

senior staff griping about having to cover each of HIS duties on top of their

own. It took a few seconds, and made the fans feel better. We also now

knew what he did all day.

Next episode. Let's see, I had one that just sprang to mind...

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NG episode "The Wounded"? O'Brien helps Picard stop a rogue Starfleet captain from attacking a Cardassian ship (even though the captain was "right" in doing so). O'Brien is forced to deal with memories of a previous massacre by the Cardassians.

George

No.

And I'm delighted someone couldn't just rattle this one off.

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My diagnosis is that you're overworked and suffering from extreme stress and borderline exhaustion. As for my prescription... come with me."

"Karvino juice... Lorvan crackers... a holosuite program... a jumja stick... and gambling tokens."

"Now, at least two of these items must be used and fully enjoyed before you can leave this facility."

"Is there anything I can do for you while you're here? A look around the station... maybe a tour of the Defiant? Chief O'Brien's working on her polaron deflector this morning... I'm sure he'd love to show you around."

"Thanks... but to be honest, the last thing I want to do on my vacation is look at polaron deflectors."

"I have nothing to say to you, Chief. And I think you know why."

"Maybe we should come back another time."

"What was that all about?"

"It's a long story. And I'd rather not get into it right now."

"I hope you're not here for another loan.

Don't tell me you've forgotten who staked you three strips of latinum when your winning streak ran dry?"

"Oh, my God... of course. Sorry... most of that night is still a blur."

"You think we'll have a chance to take a look at that new starship of yours?"

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Obviously DS9, but the rest I'm not sure of. Is it the episode where Tom Riker (disguised as his transporter twin, Will Riker) tries to commandeer the Defiant and help the Maquis?

George

It is.

The episode is simply called "the Defiant." (Silly name, but there you go.)

My one complaint was that, as soon as the deception was no longer needed (he removed the fake beard-sides, revealing he had

a goattee), he didn't change out of Will Riker's uniform. He was trying to distinguish himself, so I thought he'd have a problem

maintaining the disguise longer than he HAD to.

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Here's how the quotes went.

My diagnosis is that you're overworked and suffering from extreme stress and borderline exhaustion. As for my prescription... come with me."

"Karvino juice... Lorvan crackers... a holosuite program... a jumja stick... and gambling tokens."

"Now, at least two of these items must be used and fully enjoyed before you can leave this facility."

Kira was seriously overworked and overstressed. Dr Bashir ORDERED her to relax. The second speaker was Quark.

(As we know from a later episode, she never used the holosuite, so she must have finished 2 of the food-items,

since Quark promised he'd give Bashir a report, and Bashir said they'd do that EVERY night if Kira didn't do it then.

Ok, remember, Thomas Riker was masquerading as Will Riker. He wants to get the Defiant, and avoid the people

who know Will Riker WELL.

"Is there anything I can do for you while you're here? A look around the station... maybe a tour of the Defiant? Chief O'Brien's working on her polaron deflector this morning... I'm sure he'd love to show you around."

"Thanks... but to be honest, the last thing I want to do on my vacation is look at polaron deflectors."

He refused an offer for Chief O'Brien to give him a tour of the ship, and made it sound to Sisko like he DIDN'T want to

see the ship in the process.

"I have nothing to say to you, Chief. And I think you know why."

"Maybe we should come back another time."

"What was that all about?"

"It's a long story. And I'd rather not get into it right now."

It is a SHORT story. Thomas just said that to get rid of O'Brien FAST-and it worked. O'Brien left, wondering what he could have

done to upset Will, which kept him OCCUPIED and FAR AWAY.

And he didn't explain because he HAD no story to tell Kira.

"I hope you're not here for another loan.

Don't tell me you've forgotten who staked you three strips of latinum when your winning streak ran dry?"

"Oh, my God... of course. Sorry... most of that night is still a blur."

Dax was there the last time Will was on DS9. Thomas had to improvise and pretend he remembered the encounter.

"You think we'll have a chance to take a look at that new starship of yours?"

Thomas scamming Kira, small-talking her until he could make a CASUAL request to see the ship.

Your turn, George!

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"I have to admit that it has a sort of strange fascination - how long can two people talk about nothing?"

"Captain.. Request permission to be excused from the reception.."

"Granted. I wish I could excuse myself."

"Who are you? What are you doing on my ship?"

"The baryon sweep uses a high-frequency plasma field. That phaser won't work."

"You're probably right...but I'm willing to bet that this will."

George

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