aa

[cman]

The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

[dmiller]

More power to you. I'm dealing with the same issues.

Prayers from me to God for you.

[Seth R.]

From restless, irritable and discontented to happy joyous and free in 12 simple steps.

See you on the road of happy destiny.

Seth

[cman]

From restless, irritable and discontented to happy joyous and free in 12 simple steps.

See you on the road of happy destiny.

Seth

Is that what I said Seth, No.

You said that. You don't know cause you don't ask or listen.

There is no magic formula.

I have NEVER SEEN so much HONESTY and CARE

in one room in my life.

And it ain't the sobbing but straight from the heart.

No wonder Wierwille hated it, he feared it.

I'll post more as I see fit.

[cman]

There comes a time in some people's lives that alcohol is no longer under control. These people cannot have just one drink or beer and be done with it. It has gone past the point of no return. To the point that one drinks until the bottle can't be lifted anymore.

These are people from all walks of life. I saw it.

Alcohol has now taken over and common sense or any sense of doing right is clouded and at the worst hurtful and dangerous.

There is nothing wrong with the person except it is a disease. Once considered incurable by leading Doctors and Psychiatrists.

But there is hope and no one can do it for you.You must decide that yes I have a problem. I am an alcoholic. I can't overcome it without help.

The help in the past was to lock you away in prison or a sanitarium. Unless you are still hiding it well.

There is help today, but you must want it and admit that the power of alcohol has overtaken your power to stop drinking. Your life is unmanageable if you can't mange to stop at one drink.

There is more then the twelve suggestions. Lots more in print to help.

But you must want it and want to see your life start going back up instead of down.

There were people from all walks of life.

From the homeless to executives.

People who looked in the mirror and got tired of what they saw,

and as they saw it getting worse.

There is no religious requirements and God is not taught.

We pray at the end-The Lords Prayer.

We want his will in our lives ON EARTH as it is IN HEAVEN.

I cannot and will not post from the book they gave me. Because you have to go there and see and get help. Besides the copyright thing probably.

But I can speak my mind. No one has a copyright on that.

[cman]

btw-there is no charge to go to aa

it is funded solely by donations

and if you think it's another twi

then you haven't been there yet

[bowtwi]

cman - I admire your courage to post this publically. I wish you strength and health.

I don't attend al-anon or any support group, although I've found that there is one within an hour of my home that meets a couple times a week. I've sometimes considered going. I haven't gone yet.

I was raised by an alcoholic. I married an alcoholic and divorced him 13 years later. I recently broke up with an alcoholic who manipulated my life for a couple years before I was able to muster the strength to say no more in my life. Just yesterday he emailed me promises that he won't try to get me back anymore, as he sees that my child needs my attention, otherwise what? If my child didn't need my attention, in his opinion, then he would continue to disrespect me and blame the alcohol for all he's done? Otherwise he would continue to drink and drive and all the other unpleasantness that goes with it?

For over two years, every single day, I tried to reason with him. I warned him that I can't and won't live with the lies and other abuse. I begged him to be honest with me. I would have seen him through anything if he would have just been honest with me. He looked me sqare in the eye and denied drinking, accused me of making it up so that I'd have something to fight about. Then the call from the bail bondsman came, 6 hours after our scheduled lunch and other plans we had made for that day. I sat here that day wondering if he were alive or dead for 6 hours, dreading what could be the next phone call. The next call was a bail bondsman, very matter-of-fact and everyday about it. I was horrified.

He went to aa meetings. Or maybe I should say he left the house saying he was going to aa meetings.

Now since I forced him to leave my home at the beginning of November, now all of a sudden he calls telling me how he's not drinking at all. I don't believe him. He thanked me for tag teaming with God to get him to see he's killing himself with alcohol. Apparently the doctor telling him 5 or more years ago that he was killing himself with vodka and needed to stop or he would die a terrible death wasn't enough to stop, but me refusing to talk with him or let him see me or my daughter is reason to stop?

His second DUI was the breaking point for me. It no longer mattered that he said he loved me THAT much, that he was in pain so felt he needed to self-medicate, that he would surprise me with tickets to see Paul McCartney in Ohio when they were all that were available by the time he heard about the tour, that he actually attended church with me a few times, none of it mattered anymore. It was suddenly clear to me that if I didn't stop him, he would either die in front of me and my child a terrible, miserable death, or possibly worse, my child or someone else's could be hurt or worse as a result of him driving drunk.

I thank God for that second DUI. I feel like it empowered me. He's been gone for a month now - went to Ohio where he has family. He's coming back here to Missouri for court next week. He's actually about harassed me asking me to let him sleep on my couch so he won't have to pay for a hotel room.

I feel I've done enough by packing his stuff up nicely for him and taking it to a storage locker where he can pick it up. I really feel I owe him nothing. I feel I owe me and my child not to allow that in our lives anymore.

I wish you all the best. I pray for you and truly, I hope you reach your goals. I pray you really mean this. I know you're not him. I have no reason to disbelieve you and I don't. I do believe you mean what you're saying. That's how I have energy to pray for you.

[cman]

thank you bowtwi

tears are in my eyes

it will always be the decision to not take that first drink

always cause that's the way it is

like i said it's past the point of no return

no return to even one drink or nyquil cold medicine

or anything with alcohol

[bowtwi]

I debated about posting what I said. I read your post last night before I went to bed and prayed for you, decided not to post, and went to bed. This morning, I prayed for you and posted. I know I'm risking getting flamed here, but I can take it. I've dealt with this end of it long enough and I won't let it stop me from from stating my views.

My intention is to encourage you. I respect you. I wish you success. If there's anything I can do for you, I'd gladly do it. I know how big this challenge you're facing is. I wish you strength and peaceful rest.

[cman]

the thought to have one

and that you can handle it will come

it's only a thought

don't let it grow to action

kick it out

nothing wrong with the thought

they will happen

it's what you decide

stay in control

call your sponser

i have a few numbers people gave me

without asking

they know

yes alcohol is legal

but lethal

more then cigs

Edited December 3, 2006 by cman

[bowtwi]

I would imagine that each day you get through without touching that first drink empowers you a little bit.

That you didn't drink yesterday is a beautiful thing.

I also would imagine that you have to continually think about not drinking - that it's a grueling, minute-by-minute battle at first. But I still believe that God and you make a majority in every situation, even this one. I will be praying for your strength at least daily while you get used to your new lifestyle. I believe you'll beat this.

[cman]

that's part of it bow

one day at a time

don't let yourself get hungry

eat

don't eat too much though..lol

then there's another problem

feeling lonely?

call someone

go shopping

do what it takes to not be lonely

except drink

feeling sorry for yourself?

look at what you do have

not at what you don't

friggin tv has people drinking all the time

it should be against the law

Edited December 3, 2006 by cman

[cman]

whatever problems you have

will still be there after drinking

perhaps even worse

if there's nothing you can do about your problems today

then do something about what you can do

there will be more days to solve problems

little by little sometimes

but you can't think with alcohol in your mind

clear thinking

clearer solutions

[bowtwi]

Sounds like you're right on track and that's such a big deal.

I don't know that I agree that drinking on tv should be illegal. People eat cockroaches on tv and that doesn't inspire me to eat them at all. Nor do I desire to bungee-jump, tho I enjoy watching others do it on tv.

Whatever you've lost as a result of your drinking, I believe you'll gain back as you continue to keep focused and continue to put this much energy into controlling your actions.

I love your last post - don't allow yourself to get uncomfortable or lonely or whatever might trigger more desire for alcohol. That makes sense in a big way.

Have you eaten this morning?

(((((cman)))))

[coolchef]

bow you will not get flammed by me for doing what you had to do! I applaud you!! cman keep up the good work and hang in there my prayers are with you

[Nottawayfer]

Cman,

I'm praying for your recovery and enlightenment to find the person you really want to be without alcohol. My father was an alcoholic. He binged one or two times a week and came home to us as a mean b*stard. Once he retired about 10 years ago, he stopped. I don't know what happened. He did the same thing with smoking. He went from 2 packs a day to cold turkey. I'm not saying this is the way to do it. He never dealt with the emotions and hurts that caused him to drink.

Even though he stopped, I still hurt as the little girl who saw her dad come home in a drunken rage. It crushed me as a child. I think it did more to my brother. He is following in my dad's footsteps, and my dad is completely clueless and befuddled by it. I sent my dad an email 2 1/2 years ago to tell him his actions in my childhood hurt me a lot, but I have forgiven him. I also told him I hoped he could learn to forgive himself. He has a lot bottled up inside. AA could help him to move past that, but he does't believe in programs or counseling. He thinks he took care of the problem because he stopped drinking.

I takes strength to deal with it all Cman. By doing so, you will see your reward and will enjoy it because you worked for it.

Godspeed.

[waterbuffalo]

(((cman)))

(((bowtwi)))

Gosh, I applaud you both. Alcoholism is nasty and those of us who

deal with it in either ourselves or friends or family members know

what a Godsend AA and Al Anon are. I go to Al Anon meetings and

it is the best therapy I've found to keep me thinking right.

You did the right thing for you, Bowtwi. It's not easy to stop enabling

the alcoholics you love, but it's a huge step towards sanity.

Thanks for posting, cman! I pray you continue. We work the steps in

Al Anon, also, and that and the meetings and calling my sponsor keeps me sane.

[TheEvan]

I used to disrespect 12-step programs, but that was before I knew what I was talking about.

I think it represents a more real, honest and practical Christianity than most folks have ever seen.

Keep on keeping on.

[excathedra]

i respect what this thread is saying

but my father AA king was just as big an AASSS or even bigger than before joining

just wanted to add that

no bad intent

[cman]

hi ex,

this shows me that he didn't do the program

didn't do the steps

and no aa doesn't turn out non alcoholic clones

everyone is different

what one does with it doesn't mean another will do the same

sure you can go and not change

it's not a magic pill

and great for you waterbuffalo

i'm proud of you

[TheEvan]

It's true, exc. AA can't help anybody. You either take personal and total responsibility for your own actions through the steps or you never change. If he never took full ownership & responsibility for his own deeds to the point of making amends, he failed. I guess he went to some meetings, eh?

[cman]

one person asked about prayer and meditation

i got to contribute a little

i hope i helped

the other questions and ANSWERS are helping me

you can give someone the answer

but they really already have it

it just brings it to the surface

that person can acknowledge or not

do or not do

no one can force that person

that person must do it themselves

[cman]

excathedra,

check your e-mail and pm

Edited December 4, 2006 by cman

[Psalm 71 one]

Bow, if anyone flames you, lemme at 'em! I'll throw a stinkier thing than pie or chocolate!!

It took guts to do what you did, stay strong! The al-anon meetings would probably be a big help, but if you can't make it, there are library books about co-dependancy that helped me a whole lot--might be helpful to you. Even though this guy is out of your life, strengthening yourself in this area is still good--there will be others that come into your life--even if for a short time, and maybe it will help you recognize the pattern sooner. I hope I haven't offended you--I don't think I said it right!

I've prayed for you and will continue.

Cman-- you too, I'm praying for you! Congrats on making it through this far without a drink! keep going! Maybe you need to not watch TV for awhile, if it's a trigger--get dvds and such. Get your news on the net for awhile. I don't have the words to say in encouraging you, I wish I did, but your honesty is incredible! God Bless you, I wish you the best! This is a hard time for you! God can give you the strength! I know my words aren't much, but my heart is cheering for you and I am drawn to pray for your success.

[cman]

thanks psalm 71,

the good that is within is meant to come out

aa is one means of making that happen

there are more

thanks for your prayers

staying sober forever

love clay