Actually, Mark – I start channeling Dilbert every time I watch Office Space…and God forbid word should get out that I often use a Jump-to-Conclusions-Mat when I’m in Doctrinal.
Grunchy Store - where one goes to get food for the family.
Frankenfood - What one can buy at the grunchy store.... Food derived from genetically modified plants and animals.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Rectal Database - The very private location from which instantaneous answers to questions may be retrieved. "I pulled that one from my rectal database."
Attentional Blink - The momentary lapse in awareness that occurs after a stimulus catches the brain's attention.
"Corporate accounts, Nina speaking may I help you..........."
we don't have voice mail at work
so i suggested we answer the phone:
"company name, wilma flinstone....."
Cool…it looks like a conspiracy in the making…I like it…keep up the good work, ladies – I’m recommending you both for a raise and promotion…Of course your supervisors are gonna ask just who the he11 I am.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Rectal Database - The very private location from which instantaneous answers to questions may be retrieved. "I pulled that one from my rectal database."
Attentional Blink - The momentary lapse in awareness that occurs after a stimulus catches the brain's attention.
Wow – those are all great, Belle – but these really spoke to my heart! Thanks!
I like all the car ones, everybody – thanks. And obviously I love any work references – anything that takes a stab at the system, man - is cool in my book…Really everyone had good stuff here – please continue – I just wanted to express my enjoyment of this thread and show my appreciation. I would like to thank all the little people – starting with that little kid on the left with the big hat and suspenders…I know what you’re thinking “This guy is full of himself” – while that’s true please keep in mind I’m only a half-pint bottle [just look at my avatar] .
Jam Session – time-frame allotted to cramming all the equipment of a five piece garage band into a 89 Geo Metro.
Orca-straight – to compose a musical piece for the sole purpose of sobering up a drunken Killer Whale.
Metro-gnome – The dwarf responsible for keeping mass transit systems running on time.
Socks-a-phone – A pat answer typically given to a technically challenging musical question -and refers to calling on one of the most qualified musicians at GSC. Typical usage, Question: "What alternate tuning should I use so my guitar will sound like a Mack Truck when I play an open E Chord?" Answer: "I dunno…give Socks-a-phone."
Wah-wah Peddle – the selling of fine whines to guitarists.
Base Guitar – an instrument of low value, with inferior properties and the most commonly used implement for composing songs of treachery, cruelty and greed.
Speaking in Drums – A miraculous language believed to have been given to drummers to fill the long hours of life on the road. Controversy surrounds the phenomena - a few drum scholars believe it was a cymbal of the devil's snare and is no longer practiced – while others say it is reserved for some future time – when the roll is called up yonder.
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excathedra
good ones !!!!!
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markomalley
T-Bone, you are obviously a Dilbert fan!!!
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Ham
Thanks for the compliment, I think...
Some of my "humor" has been so warped by vey speak, this is the only place on the planet that I can get a laugh at times..
My best friend here is only beginning to understand how getting the front parking spot at Walmart can be equated with spirituality..
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Abigail
ROFLMAOPMP - that is so absolutely true!
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T-Bone
Actually, Mark – I start channeling Dilbert every time I watch Office Space…and God forbid word should get out that I often use a Jump-to-Conclusions-Mat when I’m in Doctrinal.
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T-Bone
My beloved Tonto has a long suit in revelation parking and shopping! I’m still trying to get my believing up to work miracles when the bills come.
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krys
You guys are very funny!
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ChasUFarley
Microsoft Exploder
(also works for Ford Exploder)
I like to do it with car names, mostly...
Dodge Insipid
Oldsmopeel
Ford ConFusion
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doojable
I drove a Heep Cherokee for years...
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Jim
I remember getting in trouble as a boy for referring to my uncle's Oldsmobile Cutless as an Oldsmobile Gutless...
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waysider
This whole thread has me a bit cornfused.
My granddaughter Clara-Belle( that's short for Helen) just informed me that is only 2/3 of a pun----------PU!
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ChasUFarley
I work in healthcare quality on the weekends... and my department is ALL female.
I call it Quality Miss Management...
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bliss
"Corporate accounts, Nina speaking may I help you..........."
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HAPe4me
EXPERT- (pronounciation: ex- spurt) definition: a "has-been drip under pressure"
when given the choice between a title and a pay raise, I will take the pay-raise.
~HAP
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Jim
Gay Builders and Fright Services
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excathedra
we don't have voice mail at work
so i suggested we answer the phone:
"company name, wilma flinstone....."
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T-Bone
…and on the medical front…
See-sick – self-induced nausea by staring at ugly too long
Moe-shun Sickness – withdrawal symptoms after swearing off the Three Stooges
BlueCross BlueShield – psychiatric code for a depressed Christian Police Officer
Malpractice Suit – official uniform of a quack
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – intense psychological pressure that comes from realizing what you posted on a thread makes absolutely no sense.
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Belle
Grunchy Store - where one goes to get food for the family.
Frankenfood - What one can buy at the grunchy store.... Food derived from genetically modified plants and animals.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Rectal Database - The very private location from which instantaneous answers to questions may be retrieved. "I pulled that one from my rectal database."
Attentional Blink - The momentary lapse in awareness that occurs after a stimulus catches the brain's attention.
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T-Bone
Cool…it looks like a conspiracy in the making…I like it…keep up the good work, ladies – I’m recommending you both for a raise and promotion…Of course your supervisors are gonna ask just who the he11 I am.
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T-Bone
I like all the car ones, everybody – thanks. And obviously I love any work references – anything that takes a stab at the system, man - is cool in my book…Really everyone had good stuff here – please continue – I just wanted to express my enjoyment of this thread and show my appreciation. I would like to thank all the little people – starting with that little kid on the left with the big hat and suspenders…I know what you’re thinking “This guy is full of himself” – while that’s true please keep in mind I’m only a half-pint bottle [just look at my avatar]
.
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Belle
Anal Glaucoma - a condition causing statements such as "I just can't see my foot going to work today."
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Belle
Then you should go Egosurfing, my friend. That'll make you feel even better (or worse)...
Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
But it sure as heck beats a salmon day any day!
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
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T-Bone
Homer Simpson would say "that's a sexual in-your-end dohhh!!!" :o
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T-Bone
…and on the music front…
Jam Session – time-frame allotted to cramming all the equipment of a five piece garage band into a 89 Geo Metro.
Orca-straight – to compose a musical piece for the sole purpose of sobering up a drunken Killer Whale.
Metro-gnome – The dwarf responsible for keeping mass transit systems running on time.
Socks-a-phone – A pat answer typically given to a technically challenging musical question -and refers to calling on one of the most qualified musicians at GSC. Typical usage, Question: "What alternate tuning should I use so my guitar will sound like a Mack Truck when I play an open E Chord?" Answer: "I dunno…give Socks-a-phone."
Wah-wah Peddle – the selling of fine whines to guitarists.
Base Guitar – an instrument of low value, with inferior properties and the most commonly used implement for composing songs of treachery, cruelty and greed.
Speaking in Drums – A miraculous language believed to have been given to drummers to fill the long hours of life on the road. Controversy surrounds the phenomena - a few drum scholars believe it was a cymbal of the devil's snare and is no longer practiced – while others say it is reserved for some future time – when the roll is called up yonder.
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