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I think it is unutterably sad that many socalled Christians completely misinterpret what the Bible says about marriage. If they would think of it in light of the comparison to Christ's relationship to the church, one of love and caring and concern, they would lose the attitude that women are to SUBMIT-SUBJECT-OBEY. The man is addressed to in case no one noticed. I can be the wife I want to be because my husband is the man described in Eph 5 and elsewhere.

Interestingly, one of the biggest things I've been taught about human relationships, especially the marriage relationship, since I left TWI is NO MANIPULATION! It's dishonest and demeaning.

I read "the Total Woman" the first couple years I was married. Ms. Morgan may have had some good points, but honestly, whenever I tried her suggestions my husband either burst out laughing or questioned my mental health, jokingly of course, but that manipulative sex stuff just looked stupid to him. If I want something, all I have to do is ask.

I did know a woman many years later who was still into that stuff and actually took me to her closet and pulled out a whole bunch of hangers with some really sleazy lingerie. I was stunned; she dressed kind of like a nun most of the time. She insisted I take this teddy thing home to thrill Mr. Garden. His reaction: "Where did that piece of junk come from?" :redface2:

I thought it was hilarious.

WG

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Personal timeline supporting the "women as second class citizens" doctrine.

1.) "The Way, Living in Love" book -- Wierwille states that he had respect for the man who led him into tongues because of the way he "handled" his wife (which was to tell her that what he was doing was none of her business)

2.) PFAL, Wierwille doesn't mention that King David's sin was adultery (because "all the women belonged to the king"), but rather that he put Uriah on the front battle lines to be killed

3.) In the Christian Family and Sex class, Wierwille teaches that wives will be blessed when they obey their husbands

4.) Got French kissed by HA as a greeting -- not exactly a "holy kiss"

5.) Marabel Morgan's "The Total Woman" recommended to the corps -- and we were taught that a suggestion from the MOG was tantamount to a command

6.) My husband is kicked off of staff for drinking, so I am fired, also. Wierwille assigns us, overnight and without consulting me, to AZ. I try to see Wierwille to ask him to reconsider, and am refused. Don W. tells me "Dad" had said that I would be blessed if I went with my husband. The limb support for my husband we had been promised evaporated. I was never offered help. All the fun that comes with an active alcoholic were part of the "blessing," ending in divorce.

7.) New Limb coord (4th family corps), on hearing that I am a dancer, makes lewd remark to my husband in my presence about how great I must be in bed. Gee, and I have a great sense of humor, too....

8.) Yet another Limb coord's wife (4th corps) tells me that if I washed my hair more often, my husband would want to stay home with me more and not drink

9.) Responding to Wierwille's form letter about not going to the Rock that year, I told him in all humility that I was not getting any corps support. He scrawled something in the margin of my letter about my being "bitter," which I wasn't.

Now, lest Bumpy think I am just a whiner, that all happened a long time ago, and my life is quite different today. But I would have to concur with Potato, who said she was taught, "you just stay and become ever more virtuous and God will reward you and you'll inspire that man to be a loving husband." That was my experience, right from the founder of TWI. You can pick it apart and argue about who really meant what, but these are my experiences and impressions.

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thank you for the reply white dove

i don't think you can catch up to me ha ha ha ha ha ha

could you tell me in, like, one sentence, what you're mad about ?

thanks

i know it has something to do with stories that aren't true or.... like they can't be proved.....

Ex maybe if you would stop posting for Oh say five years I could catch up :biglaugh:

It's late but since you asked so nicely I will answer your question soon ,don't think I can do it in one line though but will try to be brief. For tonight I'll just say I am not mad or even mildly irritated I rarely get mad but if I was you would know it. I also wanted to say upfront it has nothing to do with your expierance.

Edited by WhiteDove
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So you think you know what exc is talking about White Dove?

Where's your evidence?

Why do you think you know?

Where is any evidence that you know anything about anyone?

Yet you make your own decisions on the character of people based on you.

Leaving out that there is the possibility of truth or facts completely.

I think you are mad, no love from the dove.

I rarely get mad but if I was you would know it.

Such a wimpy statement.

wtf are you going to do when you get 'mad'.

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Personal timeline supporting the "women as second class citizens" doctrine.

Now, lest Bumpy think I am just a whiner, that all happened a long time ago,

Catching up on the overnight war news...

DWBH...Me oh My, do you rattle off those ??????? Questions ?????????

You must have a case of "itchy ears"! Or a slippery tongue! Or are you a mild mannered Clark Kent disguised as Super Cult reporter Carl Bernstein of the Knoxville Daily News? :biglaugh:

Make one mistake in answering...and presto, out come the quotations..."and you a$$ is a gra$$". :P

Gotta be careful around here! Especially when cman comes after you for your Christmas dues! :realmad:

*Wishing EveryOne Christmas Holiday Peace*

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quote: So I wonder.... is this what men really want? Does any man out there want to be thought of as a walking imbecile that can be lead around by "the Little General"????

YES!!!

quote: Sure.. I can see a mutually agreed upon fun time occassionally, but if I were a man I'd be highly insulted by a book that teaches this kind of stuff as a lifestyle.

I'd like to try that "heavenly bar bq sauce" :biglaugh: .

What if the wife gets all dolled up and sexy and answers the door that way and.....husband lost his best client that day and really doesn't feel like sex???

Edited by johniam
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I guess some men just have low expectations. Either that or they have such hatred and contempt for women they just want to get a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and go to the local tavern for any meaningful conversations, with other men of course, since wifey is only good for cookin', cleanin, and screwin', and doesn't have a brain to think with in her pretty little head.

Look, I'm not into the womens' liberation movement and never really was, however, I think the Betty Frieden's and Gloria Steinem's came about because of the attitude toward women "The Total Woman" and similar books, not to mention misinterpretation of the scriptures, encourages men to have.

As I said before, this kind of crap works real well if the woman isn't very bright. If Mr. Garden thought I was too stupid to have a decent conversation, to listen, to suggest, to care about him more than anything except God, he wouldn't have married me and stayed married for over 30 years. He values my opinion and I value his. And respect, to my understanding, automatically precludes manipulation.

WG

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What if the wife gets all dolled up and sexy and answers the door that way and.....husband lost his best client that day and really doesn't feel like sex???

That sounds like a question best answered by you. I didn't get the impression that the woman had to want sex all the time - just make her hubby think she did/does.

It seems the point of the book is that the woman should be ready for anything - 24/7. I never read that book. I think it was required reading for in-rez women who were going to be getting married in the Corps weddings - but I really don't know for sure.

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So you think you know what exc is talking about White Dove?

Where's your evidence?

Why do you think you know?

Where is any evidence that you know anything about anyone?

Yet you make your own decisions on the character of people based on you.

Leaving out that there is the possibility of truth or facts completely.

I think you are mad, no love from the dove

.

No point in even trying to speak with you you obviously can't read

Had you read what was written she spoke about nothing ,but asked a question

My post was to Excathedra not you, keep your face out of it.

I don't need to make decisions on the character of people.

Some people just open their mouth and do it for me.

She asked me a question ,because of her demeanor and class I will answer her.

Do to the lack of yours I have nothing for you........

Edited by WhiteDove
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Men usually drink because??? Tell me John, I`d like to know. To me after watching generations of my spouses families destroyed by alcoholism...After watching alcoholics destroy my sisters families my grandmothers family...

Tell me what it is that would cause a person to do something that would be so detrimental to their family....that would destroy the people who love them the very most on this planet. Tell me why it is?

It is a depth of weakness, selfishness and down right cruelty that I just cannot fathom. I`ll never understand why a drinker puts his enjoyment ahead of the good of their loved ones.

The strange thing is....every alcoholic I have ever known has found a way to blame their drinking on something or someone else other than their own weakness.

I notice you use the words 'alcoholic' and 'drinker' interchangeably. So everyone who drinks is an alcoholic eh? You personally watched generation(s) of your spouse's families destroyed by alcoholism? You must be, like, really old.

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quote: I didn't get the impression that the woman had to want sex all the time - just make her hubby think she did/does.

This reminds me of an episode of 'Everybody loves Raymond'. Raymond's mom got with his wife and told her to have sex with him more, as though the mom just assumed that Raymond wasn't getting enough sex and it was his wife's fault. His wife tried to take her advice and Raymond knew something wasn't right and when he found out what was going on, his reaction was the same as my reaction to "make her hubby THINK she did/does".

Ewwwww!

Raymond had some harsh words for his mom a bit later.

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quote: I didn't get the impression that the woman had to want sex all the time - just make her hubby think she did/does.

This reminds me of an episode of 'Everybody loves Raymond'. Raymond's mom got with his wife and told her to have sex with him more, as though the mom just assumed that Raymond wasn't getting enough sex and it was his wife's fault. His wife tried to take her advice and Raymond knew something wasn't right and when he found out what was going on, his reaction was the same as my reaction to "make her hubby THINK she did/does".

Ewwwww!

Raymond had some harsh words for his mom a bit later.

John - Here you and I agree. (I guess that means the end of the world is coming! :biglaugh:)

My point was that it seemed to me that that book and Raymond's mother had too much in common.

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You know John go ahead pick my post apart semantically....you know exactly what I was talking about....3 generations of kids forced to grow up without fathers, raised by struggling mothers ...because of the alcoholism. I wish that you would open your heart and compassion, rather than looking for reasons to attack and hurt.

It is a testimoney to the damage twi doctrine causes. You are a casualty and don`t even know it.

Edited by rascal
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quote: John - Here you and I agree. (I guess that means the end of the world is coming!

I've posted this before, but in a relationship you gotta give each other their space. There've been times when "the little general" said "CHARGE" but Jean said retreat. What am I going to do? Lay some guilt trip on her? If she really doesn't feel like it, then I should respect that and not think the worst. Sometimes I don't feel like it. If this was happening 9 times out of 10, then maybe there's a relationship or medical problem that needs to be addressed, but relationships are like finger prints and snowflakes: no 2 alike. It's not wise to compare your relationship with others' because there are times when you gotta do what works best for YOU, and if you're always referencing other people first then when do you develop the instinct to individualize your OWN relationship.

I actually met a guy who was always comparing his once marriage to Ward and June Cleaver, of all people. Maybe he really WAS too hard on the beaver too often. <_<

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I'll get to it right after you find that link where I said This

I'll make it easier for you you can skip the always I'll let you off on that one . Just find one example where I used those words. Or you can join Rascal in the can't find a quote to back up my accusations corner.

WD, it's obvious to everyone (even you) that my statement is an observation gathered from the body of your posts.

What's the matter? ...don't want to admit that you have no experiential knowledge to back up any of your assertions? ...that it's all based upon the same old TWI/Geer krap?

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...

White dove, your posts have been very counterproductive as far as anything good being accomplished. Quit forcing hurt people to defend the very fact that they're hurt. I don't know what kind of mindset would lead you to take a lawyer-like approach in an open setting like this where we can verify virtually nothing anybody is saying, but it is very off track with the stated purpose of this topic. PLEASE WHITE DOVE, EITHER HELP PEOPLE OR BE QUIET.

JeffSjo,

As I see it, WhiteDove (or anyone else) should not be guilted into being quiet because he's not helping an angry or hurt someone get through a problem.

That is not necessarily the purpose of the forum, to help someone.

The forums are for rendering opinions, by anyone, and sometimes there will be huge disagreements about those opinions.

I think a proper response is to challenge the opinion if you wish; rather than issuing an ultimatum to "help people or be quiet."

Edited by oldiesman
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WD, it's obvious to everyone (even you) that my statement is an observation gathered from the body of your posts.

What's the matter? ...don't want to admit that you have no experiential knowledge to back up any of your assertions? ...that it's all based upon the same old TWI/Geer krap?

So another words you are admitting that I never said that, and that you just invented it from your idea of what I said. My very point people say things and others invent what they think they heard and swear it is what was said.

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Tell me WD, if none of this ever happened, if TWI and it's leaders were as blameless as you ALWAYS proclaim, if it was all the wonderland of your dreams... why aren't you still there?

You really don't need to rejoin them I guess... because you haven't really left them or the way they treat people.

this is what WD wants me to 'document' where he said those exact words (except he'll let me off the hook and delete 'always')

So another words you are admitting that I never said that, and that you just invented it from your idea of what I said. My very point people say things and others invent what they think they heard and swear it is what was said.

nope, not at all... it was fairly obvious to a rational human that my post that you reference was an observation of your thoughts from reading the body of your posts. Yes, I know that I qualified it with rational and I suppose that lets you off of the hook...

now, were you ever in TWI anywhere other than Topeka/Kansas? were you ever in the corps? did you ever go WOW? did you ever live in any other part of the country for TWI?

your reluctance to answer any of these questions can only lead me to conclude that the answer is NO... which then makes me wonder what makes you qualified to question all of these things related by people from their corps experience, from their wow experience, from their experiences living in different parts of the country under different 'leaders'???

not everything was as it was in Kansas WD. A lot of things that I've heard of here didn't happen to me but that doesn't mean they didn't happen.

and I stand by my statement/observation (that you keep omitting) that YOU "HAVEN'T REALLY LEFT THEM [TWI] OR THE WAY THEY TREAT PEOPLE."

Personally, I'd love to see YOU and Rascal in a steel cage match, and then the winner (Rascal) could take on johniam next.

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...

If you can't call anyone dishonest without having the facts to prove it just be quiet WHITE DOVE!

I don't see WhiteDove calling anyone dishonest. His opinion is "peoples opinions are not the same as Way doctrine from The Way International" and "just because one was involved with the Way does not mean they always spoke on their behalf."

It would appear that WhiteDove's opinion which he is fully entitled to is, that just because a leader of the Way may say something, doesn't make it "Way Doctrine and Policy".

I didn't see where he said that the statement by the leader was not made, or that the person recollecting the statement here at GS was lying about what they heard.

Edited by oldiesman
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I don't see WhiteDove calling anyone dishonest. His opinion is "peoples opinions are not the same as Way doctrine from The Way International" and "just because one was involved with the Way does not mean they always spoke on their behalf."

It would appear that WhiteDove's opinion is, that just because a leader may say something doesn't make it "Way Doctrine and Policy".

I didn't see where he said that the statement by the leader was not made, or that the person recollecting the statement here at GS was lying about their experience.

c'mon OM... you know that is what WD has been either saying or implying all along.

And you know that it was drilled into peoples brains not to question their leaders... "when I say jump.."

That was the culture... I don't know whether it still is... but the culture 'way back when' (when you and I were younger and more naive) was to 'highly discourage' questioning.

And OM, WD isn't just stating that it's "his opinion"... he's stated that those things did not happen "in the name of TWI"...

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not everything was as it was in Kansas :unsure:

...hmmmm. HQ calling Kansas, HQ calling Kansas, come in Kansas! Dorothy, Dorothy, are you OK? Have you discovered the Ruby Slippers? Where's the Vicster??

Strange series of events to report unfolding in WOW Dept. Life Changing Events. People & Rodents in Open Corps. Rebellion! Accusations of false Identity. Over.

Meanwhile...back at "the Farm" all the good little corps housewives were all dressed up, waiting for their husbands to come home for Christmas dinner...

WHEN Suddenly from behind a large snowdrift, a BIG, BAD WOLF appears heading for the forest...a v e r y Special Forest! Todo, Todo, Don't go in there..climb down from that tree. Eeeeewwwww Todo you're covered in white creamy Geeeeeewww@#$%

Now where were you on the night of the 13th? Did you see the dark haired VIXXXEN leaving her apartment before getting into the getaway car? Your reluctance to answer any of these questions will qualify you for 30 days confinement in a rodent infested prison.

Oh my god...don't go in there! :biglaugh:

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c'mon OM... you know that is what WD has been either saying or implying all along.

And you know that it was drilled into peoples brains not to question their leaders... "when I say jump.."

That was the culture... I don't know whether it still is... but the culture 'way back when' (when you and I were younger and more naive) was to 'highly discourage' questioning.

And OM, WD isn't just stating that it's "his opinion"... he's stated that those things did not happen "in the name of TWI"...

Tom,

I was taught from The Way that if you had a problem with management, you discuss it with the management. Accordingly, I have a stack of letters from hq , part of my Way Memorabilia file, that answers the questions I had with Way doctrines and policies. I needed clarification and got it, and btw, NOT ALWAYS to my satisfaction.

If I had been in the room where it was spoken that the husband is entitled to beat a disobedient wife, you can bet that I'd have questioned that directly with the Trustees. And I know folks who would have probably done exactly the same, being extremely sensitive to and experiencing first hand spousal abuse issues.

Edited by oldiesman
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