Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

"Losing the Way" by Kristen Skedgell


Abigail
 Share

Recommended Posts

an exwayfer on the way corps site told me that they had talked to kris's ex and he pretty much said she was a little looney (or maybe a lot) and this person believed him over kris -- so -- it kind of bothers me they told ME that knowing what happened to ME. i guess i'm looney too, but it still happened

in other words, i guess abuse is in the eye of the abusee and it might just be one's fault for getting into that situation

i still think revered ones (reverends) and men of god or men (people) in authority should be very careful when it comes to the people they are helping, counseling, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

an exwayfer on the way corps site told me that they had talked to kris's ex and he pretty much said she was a little looney (or maybe a lot) and this person believed him over kris -- so -- it kind of bothers me they told ME that knowing what happened to ME. i guess i'm looney too, but it still happened

Actually I don't remember her as "loony" at all. At bit on the artsy side perhaps - certainly running Boeing Corp was probably not in her deck of cards - bit definitely NOT loony. I remember her as a very sweet and caring person who always went the extra mile for people. I have no idea what the last 25 years has wrought for her...I just don't remember her as loony

in other words, i guess abuse is in the eye of the abusee and it might just be one's fault for getting into that situation

Yes that was a simple formula for those drickweeds to follow wasn't it? Anything good that happens is because of them. Anything bad that happens is because of you. How pastoral of them.

i still think revered ones (reverends) and men of god or men (people) in authority should be very careful when it comes to the people they are helping, counseling, etc.

In some places, in some jobs, what you suggest is actually law. Somehow religious organizations seem to escape it. I work at a university. If a faculty member (read revered one) carried on like those TWI "revered ones" they would be terminated immediately, tenure notwithstanding, and if the person victimized filed a law suit the university would be the first to file that their human resource rules had been violated. The phrase used is "undue influence." That would seem to apply equally to clergy, medical practitioners, counselors, etc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"undue influence" i'm reading about it -- good term

Yeah - it's actually a legal term. Case in point - going back to the university. A student, of the age of consent (over 21), is failing a class. She goes to the instructor and unbuttons her blouse and says she will do anything to get a passing grade. Faculty person takes her up on the offer...the guilt lies on the faculty person. You can say all day long that she was of the age of consent and approached you - but you have undue influence over her life, her grades, and hence potentially her future success in her career. The onus is on the person who is "in charge" to maintain propriety.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow. i remember one time there was a party on the blacktop. wierwille called me on the coach and asked me to take off my shirt or to lift it up (it was a tube top). i did to my shame and then ran off crying saying i just can't do this

i still feel shame

maybe it was to take it down

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in other words, i guess abuse is in the eye of the abusee and it might just be one's fault for getting into that situation

I disagree. Abuse is not determined subjectively, according to someone's perception, nor is it someone's fault because they got into a situation that became abusive. That idea seems to complicate domestic abuse frequently. Abuse is abuse. A spade is a spade.----- "Yeah, he beat me, but I'm not a very good housekeeper so it's probably my fault." Or, "It's probably my fault because I should have seen his true colors before I married him." --------These doctors, analysts, clergymen or what have you, that use their positions to exploit those whose welfare has been entrusted to them, are the one's at fault. Period. When people play this perception game to fault the victim or get the victim to fault them self, they are rationalizing their own guilt. Refuse to even consider playing that game.

Edited by waysider
Link to comment
Share on other sites

i believe i know that in my heart. witnessed it my whole life

he was such a wad. how dare he (and others) bring it some kind of spiritual level (game)

i should have known better

i actually started a word document to myself about the cons and girl victims who told me about why it was right to be with him

oh fruck it all

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I disagree. Abuse is not determined subjectively, according to someone's perception, nor is it someone's fault because they got into a situation that became abusive. That idea seems to complicate domestic abuse frequently. Abuse is abuse. A spade is a spade.----- "Yeah, he beat me, but I'm not a very good housekeeper so it's probably my fault." Or, "It's probably my fault because I should have seen his true colors before I married him." --------These doctors, analysts, clergymen or what have you, that use their positions to exploit those whose welfare has been entrusted to them, are the one's at fault. Period. When people play this perception game to fault the victim or get the victim to fault them self, they are rationalizing their own guilt. Refuse to even consider playing that game.

Excie - Please remember that it wasn't your fault and it wasn't the other girls' fault. Please reread this post of waysider's I quoted and Rum-man's and any other posts every day that clearly remind us that when that slimeball convinced young girls or married women bullturds like that it was an honor to meet his so-called "needs" in that way, that they/you were not always able to make those judgments. Sometimes maybe, but not always. He had a bit of a magic spell over us all - and shame on him for taking advantage of that.

If he were alive today and had to answer to a judge in a court of law for even one-tenth of what he did to people by using his position for his own lusts and perversions, he'd die in prison.

I wish I could take your pain away and throw it as far as the east is from the west. None of you deserve to continue feeling the guilt over what was HIS FAULT in the first stinkin place. I'm proud as can be of you for being able to speak (type) the words - I pray you find a way to let them go so you don't have to carry this guilt and shame that's breaking your heart over and over. IT'S SO NOT YOUR FAULT, not even a little bit. (((((Excie)))))))

Edited by bowtwi
Link to comment
Share on other sites

an exwayfer on the way corps site told me that they had talked to kris's ex and he pretty much said she was a little looney (or maybe a lot) and this person believed him over kris -- so -- it kind of bothers me they told ME that knowing what happened to ME. i guess i'm looney too, but it still happened

in other words, i guess abuse is in the eye of the abusee and it might just be one's fault for getting into that situation

i still think revered ones (reverends) and men of god or men (people) in authority should be very careful when it comes to the people they are helping, counseling, etc.

My ex would tell you I'm a little looney (or maybe a lot) too. Exes are like that. It bothers me too that he told YOU that about Kris. I agree with your comment that reverends and people in authority should be very careful when it comes to the people they are helping, counseling, etc. I admire Billy Graham for his policy of never even riding in an elevator alone with a female to avoid even the appearance of anything sleazy (or whatever wording they used).

I can't bear to watch movies that have sexual abuse scenes or enjoy books with them and that's why I haven't bought Kris' book. I think I'll go ahead and buy it even if I never do read it, just to show my support for her.

This is probably about enough out of me tonite, but I've been thinking about this stuff all day and it really chaps my buttocks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

an exwayfer on the way corps site told me that they had talked to kris's ex and he pretty much said she was a little looney (or maybe a lot) and this person believed him over kris -- so -- it kind of bothers me they told ME that knowing what happened to ME. i guess i'm looney too, but it still happened

This is the modus operendi of TWI. Find weakness. Prey upon it screwing up the person's life. Blame them for having a screwed up life.

You see that in kris's book with VP talking about a devil spirit talking and telling kris she's possessed all the while planning and carrying out adultery. VP was the one possessed, not kris. Look at the fruit of what he did with her, you.

They take any little sign of weakness and blame the victim. Even if they don't see weakness they still will make up lies about people and blame them. And they look for scapegoats in any bad situation - someone who is there and they don't like that they can pin everything on.

God will judge them. He will stand up for the weak. That's part of my hope when Jesus Christ returns.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"She completed studies at The Johns Hopkins University then enrolled in a joint degree program at Yale University where she earned a Master’s of Divinity degree from Yale Divinity School and a Master’s in Social Work from Columbia University School of Social Work."

That doesn't sound very "looney" to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"She completed studies at The Johns Hopkins University then enrolled in a joint degree program at Yale University where she earned a Master's of Divinity degree from Yale Divinity School and a Master's in Social Work from Columbia University School of Social Work."

That doesn't sound very "looney" to me.

Her blog says she is a social worker in the prison system.. . . . .she probably has a finely tuned BS meter now. . . .in Ex-Way world that could easily be confused as " looney" or even loony!:)

A perceptive person unwilling to compromise, but still willing to help? An enigma in cult circles.

Edited by geisha779
Link to comment
Share on other sites

"She completed studies at The Johns Hopkins University then enrolled in a joint degree program at Yale University where she earned a MasterÂ’s of Divinity degree from Yale Divinity School and a MasterÂ’s in Social Work from Columbia University School of Social Work."

That doesn't sound very "looney" to me.

Yeah, really. Only in cult-land brainwash-ville does making something of your life like that and genuinely helping others with a career equate "looney". And you know, honestly to see people fight to overcome things like her story which date all the way back to their childhood is really inspiring. She escaped TWI with a brain, education, a great husband unlike the low-class guy that summarizes her life as "looney".

Her ex sounds like he's in the "L"'s himself. L-L-L-Loser!!!!

Edited by chockfull
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I re-listened to the podcasts after reading her book. I understand using annonmity(?) for those who were "leaves" at the "twig" level but changing Mrs. Wierwille's first name, Donald's, John Paul's, and Sarah's, Chris Geer's, Craig Martindale's, Walter Cummins', but not Harry's. Also why move Pikes Peak Seminary from Colorado to New Mexico, but not Emporia or Rome City? or Gunnisson? Not consistent. Why change Jim Doop and Steve Heavner? Some of the people are dead and no need to fear recrimination from them. At least Karl was more open in his book and named names. I am not attacking Kristen but had serious questions. She mentions going to Texas towork on a ranch. Why not change the location to protect the innocent. I am sorry she was abused and feel her remorse, but the major characters should have been given their real names. Maybe she just wanted to move on. Unlike Karl's book where the background of The Way is given in detail, Kris' main focus is on the manipulation, deceit, mental and physical abuse. If anyone was devil possesed, it was Wierwille, Geer, Martindale, and the others who sexually seduced her, not Kris(confused and bewildered, yes but not Sataniclly possesed). Wierwille was not an exorcist. Sorry for the long sermon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I re-listened to the podcasts after reading her book. I understand using annonmity(?) for those who were "leaves" at the "twig" level but changing Mrs. Wierwille's first name, Donald's, John Paul's, and Sarah's, Chris Geer's, Craig Martindale's, Walter Cummins', but not Harry's. Also why move Pikes Peak Seminary from Colorado to New Mexico, but not Emporia or Rome City? or Gunnisson? Not consistent. Why change Jim Doop and Steve Heavner? Some of the people are dead and no need to fear recrimination from them. At least Karl was more open in his book and named names. I am not attacking Kristen but had serious questions. She mentions going to Texas towork on a ranch. Why not change the location to protect the innocent. I am sorry she was abused and feel her remorse, but the major characters should have been given their real names. Maybe she just wanted to move on. Unlike Karl's book where the background of The Way is given in detail, Kris' main focus is on the manipulation, deceit, mental and physical abuse. If anyone was devil possesed, it was Wierwille, Geer, Martindale, and the others who sexually seduced her, not Kris(confused and bewildered, yes but not Sataniclly possesed). Wierwille was not an exorcist. Sorry for the long sermon.

My thoughts regarding your questions:

VP and Harry were more than simply brothers. They were co-founders of the "ministry", like spiritual James Brothers. (Frank and Jesse). They were at the very top level of management during The Way's halcyon days. Together, they controlled the future of the corporation and were directly involved in steering the financing of the effort.

The Pike's Peak "seminary" was not a Way facility. The other locations mentioned were. (Way properties)

I don't really think it is important that the reader knows these character's true identities. It's not relevant that Jimmy and Steve's names were changed because they were victims of the scam, as well. In fact, to a non-Way person reading the book, the true identities, aside from the aforementioned individuals, would have little meaning.

The essence of the book is to expose, not only the abuse that took place in The Way, but to enlighten the reader in the methodology of abusive cults in general.

As usual, that's just my own opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I read Losing the Way and very much appreciate the author's detail and the candor. It was a very difficult read for me. I was "in" from 1974 through 1989. I went WOW twice, College WOW once, and attended the College Division program at the The Way College of Emporia and eventually graduated from the Way Corps. I thought Wierwille was "it". There was no doubt in my mind that he was The Man of God and that what he spoke was unquestionably God's Word. I believed The Way International was the only hope for the United States. I well remember when "Dr." Wierwille was on what was called "The America Awakes Tour". I sat in the prayer room at Emporia and prayed desperately that America would not fall and would embrace the teachings of Wierwille before it was too late. It was a goal in The Way to take the Word Over the USA in 1976. You know, it being the USA's bicentennial and all. It was exciting for me to be part of the movement that was going to save the nation. Wierwille to me was the example of what it was to be a man.

In reading the book I came face-to-face with the fact that what I had aspired to for almost my entire youth was a complete facade. Not only was Wierwille not a man's man, he was not anything like I ever wanted to be even when I was associated with The Way International. I had already pretty much figured that out before reading the book, but Losing the Way helped me to connect real events with these lies. I was present at many of the events the author refers to.

I do not recall ever meeting Ms. Skedgell yet we were at a lot of the same places at the same times.

I do have a couple of recollections that are different from Ms. Skedgell's that I wanted to ask about here at Greasespot. At the risk of "straining at a gnat", the author refers to VPW as "The Doctor". For some reason that just sticks out to me. In my 15 years in TWI, I never referred to him as "The Doctor". I referred to him as "Dr. Wierwille", "Doctor", and later in the Way Corps we often just referred to VPW simply as "He" or "Him". If you said one of those pronouns at a root locale everyone pretty much knew who you were talking about. Moreover, no one I associated with referred to VPW at "THE Doctor". Some of the older believers called him "Vic", or "Victor". Others who were older and knew him very well would sometimes call him "VP". So did folks, say, from the East Coast refer to him as "The Doctor"? Maybe I've forgotten.

Something else that is mentioned in the book that is extremely questionable. On page 111, near the end of the 2nd paragraph Ms. Skedgell in talking about Corps Week says, "all the Corps members get together and everything is free. babies get baptized...leader's get ordained." (emphasis mine) That just has to be an error on the part of the editor. There just isn't any way Kristen could have thought that babies were getting baptized! Not in TWI, right?

Edited by erkjohn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Something else that is mentioned in the book that is extremely questionable. On page 111, near the end of the 2nd paragraph Ms. Skedgell in talking about Corps Week says, "all the Corps members get together and everything is free. babies get baptized...leader's get ordained." (emphasis mine) That just has to be an error on the part of the editor. There just isn't any way Kristen could have thought that babies were getting baptized! Not in TWI, right?

It's literary license.I think she is referring to "dedications". The average non-Way person would not understand what she was talking about if she called them "dedications" so she called them "baptisms" to make the text flow. To an outsider, it would convey the same type of event.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's literary license.I think she is referring to "dedications". The average non-Way person would not understand what she was talking about if she called them "dedications" so she called them "baptisms" to make the text flow. To an outsider, it would convey the same type of event.

Yes, I'm sure she was talking about dedications. I thought maybe her editor erred here. I had not considered her challenge in having to explain things to a non-Way audience.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Similarly, vpw was called "Doctor" and also- at his instruction-

called "THE Teacher".

Calling him "The Doctor" really isn't a big stretch.

It's not precise, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

You're right, it's not worth "losing any sleep over". There's too much accuracy in the rest of the book to blow this one little thing out of proportion. I hesitated to bring it up but it was bugging me.

Edited by erkjohn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

W

I have had enough recent contract with Kris to know she is doing well; or I should say enough contact together with all she writes on her blog.

As far as the "changing the names" part, there are reasons, good reasons, for that which she or someone else involved in writ9ing and/or legal issues could better explain. I had no problem in the least with , this, though maybe

recognizing so much from being also at Indy and in the 8th corps at Emporia certainly helped.

I wish I had it together as well as she does.

Edited by Lifted Up
Link to comment
Share on other sites

--

Though she is free of the ministry's influence, more than 20 years after the Doctor's death, Ms. Skedgell did obey one more of his requests. He once asked her, during post-coital "afterglow," as he referred to it, to write a posthumous book about him, because "people need to see the heart of a man of God."

"I cried at the thought of losing him," she states in the book, "but I promised him I would do whatever he asked."

i just read this on a site

i could throw up (sorry)

when i found out he was dead, i felt nothing -- like, dead

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...