if you do not work for a whole year and then start to miss fellowship and get wowed out about it....
you might be in a cult
if you are constantly reminded that you have christ in you...
you might be in a cult
if you are constantly reminded to "renew your mind"
you might be in a cult
if you refer to vpw more than god
you might be in a cult
if your idea of a vacation is spending a weekend waking up at 7 am for three hours of teachings, having a petty breakfast, more teachings, having a lunch with no selection and twenty minutes of "thank you father, and i thank you father..." and then again more teachings, then break time to sit in a corner by yourself, then dinner with more "thank you father's" only to break into private group prayer, and to have lights off at 9pm
you might be in a cult
if you believe in devil spirits operating in humans
If you spend more on car repairs on a used car than a new car would cost just to say your not in debt...
you might be in a cult.
If your paying more in rent for a two bedroom apartment than the "unbeliever" is paying for a mortgage on a three bedroom house in a nicer neighborhood...
If you miss your kids' baseball games, recitals or school performances because you have to go to a fellowship or class... you might be in a cult.
If you take weeks at a time off from your job without getting vacation pay to go to a class or festival at a farm in Ohio... you might be in a cult.
If you get fired from a job because you went to a class or festival at a farm in Ohio... you might be in a cult.
(for the Sickth Corps...)
If you get up at 4:00 a.m., put on a blue sweat suit and go out and "chase rabbits" with 300 other people who are all wearing the same blue sweat suits... you might be in a cult.
If you hitch-hike hundreds of miles on an interstate with only $10 in your pocket and a time limit on when to get to your destination or you have to turn around and go back... you might be in a cult (or on that silly "Great Race" reality show).
If you eat familia and fig pep on a regular basis... you might be in a cult.
YOU KNOW YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT WHEN YOUR FORCED TO GO DOOR TO DOOR WITNESSING ON YOUR OWN STREET BECAUSE YOUR FELLOWSHIP MEETS AT THE END OF THE STREET AND YOU WERE FORCED TO BE TRANSFERED OUT OF ANOTHER CULT FELLOWSHIP BECAUSE THE CULT LEADERS THOUGHT THAT CULT LEADER MIGHT BE A BAD INFLUENCE AND YOU WERE HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN IN THAT CULT FELLOWSHIP SO YOU END UP IN A CULT FELLOWSHIP ON THE END OF YOUR STREET WHERE YOU LIVE? OH SO BLESED AM I MOTHER MARY !AHHHHHHHHH SAY IT AINT SO ? IT WAS MADE SO! YOU THEN THINK YOU ARE IN A CULT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DO END UP GOING DOOR TO DOOR SPREADING THE GOOD CULT NEWS AND YOU PRAY YOUR NEIGHBORS (THE ONES YOU KNOW !!!) DON'T ASK QUESTIONS OF THE CULT FELLOWSHIP AS THEY HEAD TOWARD YOUR END OF THE BLOCK !!!!! YOU THEN KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE REALLY IN A CULT WHEN YOU PRAY REALLY REALLY HARD NO ONE ANSWERS THE DOOR AND BETTER YET NO ONE IS HOME !!!!!!!OR BETTER YET THEY INVITE YOU IN FOR MILK AND COOKIES AND PRETEND THEY ARE INTERESTED BUT ARE REALLY JUST CURIOUS WHAT CULT PEOPLE ARE REALLY LIKE ? MMMMMMMMMM THEY SEEM MOST ILLOGICAL THESE CULT BEINGS CAPTAIN ! YOU THEN START CONSIDERING MAYBE GETTING OUT OF THIS CULT WHEN THE PERSON WHO ANSWERS THE DOOR AT THE THIRD HOUSE IS DRUNK AS A SKUNK AND STARTS LAUGHING AT YOU AND YOUR FELLOW ASIGNED DOOR TO DOOR CULT PARTNER AND YOU ARE BLESSSED CULTY LIKE BEYOND CULT LIKE BECAUSE INTERMISSION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE TAKES UP AN HOUR OF TIME AND YOU FEEL YOU ARE REALLY HELPING SAVE A LOST DRUNK SOUL ! TRUE STORY AND THE NAMES WERE CHANGED (OH NAMES WERE NOT MENTIONED) EXCEPT FOR SPOCK AND CAPTAIN KURT WHO WERE JUST THROWN IN TO TEST YOUR CULT POWERS ! :D--> tHANKS for all the other post too on this thread cause ya made my day and needed to laugh youse ex cult members youse ! :D-->
The Advanced Class gets held in your town at a local college campus and they want your and everybody else's furniture to make dorm rooms for the "LEADERSHIP" look like the Ritz but the students are staying in....uh dorm rooms.
And you are assigned to set up the prayer room and your husband and his friend haul your sofa and a lot of stuff from your apartment over to the campus and you set it up, and then your area leader tells you that the limb leader wants your sofa out and another sofa in that was already on the campus that you could have used in the first place.
Yeah, well maybe when that happens, you might just be in a CULT!!
If you worship mineral sprinkler stains on the side of an office building that have been there since the early 80's which suddenly "miraculously appeared" when they trimmed back the palms away from the building after many years, and I know because we used to clean the windows on that building back then and "she" was there all along but nobody but us window cleaners noticed and "she" can easily be cleaned off with Bio Kleen because we removed part of her years ago before she was a shrine because the previous owners wanted a section cleaned:D--> :D-->
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CircleGame
If you don't think health insurance - going to the doctor is important
you might be in a cult
if you go to church three times a week and that is not enough - the pastor scolds you, you feel guilty
you might be in a cult
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Raf
If you can't afford to pay child support, but you can afford to tithe,
you might be in a cult.
If you think there's nothing unusual about laughing hysterically at a corny, prerecorded joke you've heard a million times before,
you might be in a cult.
If your intro to the Bible class spends more time discussing the crosses on the side than it does discussing the cross in the middle,
you might be in a cult.
If your New Testament has more ink smudges in the margins than white space,
you might be in a cult.
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Bramble
You might be in a cult if..... some one scolded you for the state of your sock drawer and you are forty years old!
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TheManOfa Thousand ScreenNames
You might be in a cult........
If you feel an overwhelming desire to prove everyone outside your little group has the 'wrong' theology.
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waterbuffalo
Raf said:
Oh gosh, Raf, awesome point!
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JustThinking
Oh, heck, let's combine them:
You might be a redneck AND in a cult if:
1. You pronounce the word "hover" so that it rhymes with "over."
2. Your suit is worth more than your education.
3. Your shoes are worth more than your education.
4. You've ever M&A someone without leaving your golf cart.
JT
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igotout
Ha, Ha! Just got home and read some of these. Very funny!
Keep it going, please. If you put your mind to it you, too, can pretend to be Jeff Foxworthy for a few minutes.
Hmmm let see... ok this one is for Mike.
If you have studied a "lost teaching" for over five years
.........you just might be in a cult.
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igotout
If your job description includes string and chairs
.....you might be in a cult.
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JustThinking
If you buy a book you already own because there is a new cover...
If the number of verses you can quote is higher than the number of school events you've attended...
If your retirement plan consists primarily of "believing God..."
If you buy and listen to music you don't even like because it's the Word...
If you are over 40 and feel the need to get permission to move/change jobs/marry/go to school/etc...
... you might be in a cult!
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templelady
IF you spend your time trying to convince yourself that spears are really javelins and Helmets are reaaly laurel leaf crowns
You might be in a cult
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No Way
if you do not work for a whole year and then start to miss fellowship and get wowed out about it....
you might be in a cult
if you are constantly reminded that you have christ in you...
you might be in a cult
if you are constantly reminded to "renew your mind"
you might be in a cult
if you refer to vpw more than god
you might be in a cult
if your idea of a vacation is spending a weekend waking up at 7 am for three hours of teachings, having a petty breakfast, more teachings, having a lunch with no selection and twenty minutes of "thank you father, and i thank you father..." and then again more teachings, then break time to sit in a corner by yourself, then dinner with more "thank you father's" only to break into private group prayer, and to have lights off at 9pm
you might be in a cult
if you believe in devil spirits operating in humans
you might be in a cult...
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shazdancer
Thanks, Raf.
Templelady, I think the "spears and javelins" thing was the first time it hit my young adult brain that Wierwille was wrong on doctrine.
If you think it is okay to make ethnic jokes, as long as you substitute the word "unbeliever" for w**, ch***, n*****, or whatever...
...you might be in a cult.
If you think "unbelievers" of your religion are not worthy of your respect, friendship, or caring...
...then you truly ARE in a cult.
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Tumbleweed Kid
If you spend more on car repairs on a used car than a new car would cost just to say your not in debt...
you might be in a cult.
If your paying more in rent for a two bedroom apartment than the "unbeliever" is paying for a mortgage on a three bedroom house in a nicer neighborhood...
you might be in a cult
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Hope R.
If you miss your kids' baseball games, recitals or school performances because you have to go to a fellowship or class... you might be in a cult.
If you take weeks at a time off from your job without getting vacation pay to go to a class or festival at a farm in Ohio... you might be in a cult.
If you get fired from a job because you went to a class or festival at a farm in Ohio... you might be in a cult.
(for the Sickth Corps...)
If you get up at 4:00 a.m., put on a blue sweat suit and go out and "chase rabbits" with 300 other people who are all wearing the same blue sweat suits... you might be in a cult.
If you hitch-hike hundreds of miles on an interstate with only $10 in your pocket and a time limit on when to get to your destination or you have to turn around and go back... you might be in a cult (or on that silly "Great Race" reality show).
If you eat familia and fig pep on a regular basis... you might be in a cult.
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socks
If you say "God bless you!" 50 times a day but then feel weird saying it when someone sneezes, you might be in a cult.
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dougie73
YOU KNOW YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT WHEN YOUR FORCED TO GO DOOR TO DOOR WITNESSING ON YOUR OWN STREET BECAUSE YOUR FELLOWSHIP MEETS AT THE END OF THE STREET AND YOU WERE FORCED TO BE TRANSFERED OUT OF ANOTHER CULT FELLOWSHIP BECAUSE THE CULT LEADERS THOUGHT THAT CULT LEADER MIGHT BE A BAD INFLUENCE AND YOU WERE HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN IN THAT CULT FELLOWSHIP SO YOU END UP IN A CULT FELLOWSHIP ON THE END OF YOUR STREET WHERE YOU LIVE? OH SO BLESED AM I MOTHER MARY !AHHHHHHHHH SAY IT AINT SO ?
IT WAS MADE SO! YOU THEN THINK YOU ARE IN A CULT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DO END UP GOING DOOR TO DOOR SPREADING THE GOOD CULT NEWS AND YOU PRAY YOUR NEIGHBORS (THE ONES YOU KNOW !!!) DON'T ASK QUESTIONS OF THE CULT FELLOWSHIP AS THEY HEAD TOWARD YOUR END OF THE BLOCK !!!!! YOU THEN KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE REALLY IN A CULT WHEN YOU PRAY REALLY REALLY HARD NO ONE ANSWERS THE DOOR AND BETTER YET NO ONE IS HOME !!!!!!!OR BETTER YET THEY INVITE YOU IN FOR MILK AND COOKIES AND PRETEND THEY ARE INTERESTED BUT ARE REALLY JUST CURIOUS WHAT CULT PEOPLE ARE REALLY LIKE ? MMMMMMMMMM THEY SEEM MOST ILLOGICAL THESE CULT BEINGS CAPTAIN ! YOU THEN START CONSIDERING MAYBE GETTING OUT OF THIS CULT WHEN THE PERSON WHO ANSWERS THE DOOR AT THE THIRD HOUSE IS DRUNK AS A SKUNK AND STARTS LAUGHING AT YOU AND YOUR FELLOW ASIGNED DOOR TO DOOR CULT PARTNER AND YOU ARE BLESSSED CULTY LIKE BEYOND CULT LIKE BECAUSE INTERMISSION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE TAKES UP AN HOUR OF TIME AND YOU FEEL YOU ARE REALLY HELPING SAVE A LOST DRUNK SOUL ! TRUE STORY AND THE NAMES WERE CHANGED (OH NAMES WERE NOT MENTIONED) EXCEPT FOR SPOCK AND CAPTAIN KURT WHO WERE JUST THROWN IN TO TEST YOUR CULT POWERS !
:D--> tHANKS for all the other post too on this thread cause ya made my day and needed to laugh youse ex cult members youse ! 
:D--> 
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Tom Strange
HopeR,
What if you ate familia and fig pep and actually grew to like it?
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A la prochaine
Tom,
I liked fig pep if that makes you feel any better.
The cult had to have good things to keep us there didn't they? I guess fig pep was for us one of them.
:D--> 
:(-->
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outandabout
You might be in a cult if:
The Advanced Class gets held in your town at a local college campus and they want your and everybody else's furniture to make dorm rooms for the "LEADERSHIP" look like the Ritz but the students are staying in....uh dorm rooms.
And you are assigned to set up the prayer room and your husband and his friend haul your sofa and a lot of stuff from your apartment over to the campus and you set it up, and then your area leader tells you that the limb leader wants your sofa out and another sofa in that was already on the campus that you could have used in the first place.
Yeah, well maybe when that happens, you might just be in a CULT!!
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igotout
If you worship mineral sprinkler stains on the side of an office building that have been there since the early 80's which suddenly "miraculously appeared" when they trimmed back the palms away from the building after many years, and I know because we used to clean the windows on that building back then and "she" was there all along but nobody but us window cleaners noticed and "she" can easily be cleaned off with Bio Kleen because we removed part of her years ago before she was a shrine because the previous owners wanted a section cleaned
:D--> 
:D-->
........ then you just might be in a cult.
Mary Queen of Sprinklers
Madonna of the Mineral Deposits
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karmicdebt
If you pray for a cute wife, great husband, better car, rv, boat, job with more money because it will HELP you MOVE THE WORD....
If you give your last $20.00 to buy a gift for a reverend who doesn't need it and go home and pray for the rent to get paid....
If you have a wedding gown in your closet as an act of believing for that great husband...
you be in a cult, girl!
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JustThinking
Ok, Karmic, that last one is too weird. I HATE to ask but is that based in reality?!
Yikes, just when you thought you'd heard all of the bizarro teachings...
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JustThinking
If you feel the need to smile 24 hours a day...
If you make your kids smile for total strangers...
If you know what type of mint your minister likes but not your wife's favorite color...
If you buy a suit every for growing children IN CASE there is an event...
If you keep a pencil and pad of paper in your pocket in case you "get a contact..."
If you stand and applaud someone on a VIDEO...!
...you might be in a cult.
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WordWolf
If you look at the first of IGOTOUT's posted links and your first
reaction is "that's not 'God's Blue Book'-'God's Blue Book' is called
'the Bible Tells Me So'",
you might be in a cult.
(links above on page 3.)
=========================
Edited because I messed up on the names.
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