This thread was not intended to be about George or anyone else here at gs. Whatever personal problems that are aired was not my intention.
I'm asking that it keep that way. To give thoughts and views of why things happen in our middle age or as we get older.
If you have something personal to say to someone about their personal life I ask that you please private message them.
This has been a good thread and something everyone can relate to. I came up with this not because of anyone here but because it is such a huge epidemic going on in our society.
I never thought that this thread was about anything other than the topic....Dog gone it...you can't control what people want to say on the public forum....you can try and you can give good reasons why...And sometimes good threads just die...
George (and Suz -- if you are *lurking* here), I'll be praying for the both of you. I remember when the two of you were first getting together, and were at Steve and Jeannie M*Crakens (sp?) wedding, where our bluegrass band was playing, for the reception.
I gotta tell you -- I was envious of you two. I had just gotten divorced, and I wanted to have love in my own life, like you two had. You spent all that time driving to La Crosse, Wisconsin to see Suz, George --- and when you finally got her to visit here, I could see why.
Whenever I think of the two of you, it is always that scene by the Lester River Bridge, where me and the boys were swatting out bluegrass tunes, and everything was *right* with the world.
George -- I know you don't believe in God. That's OK -- I do. :)-->
Suz ----- I don't know what your beliefs are (these days).
I will be praying that you can regain the happiness that I still remember you showing to each other way back when. Hope it works.
Had to say all that. Now --- back to the thread. :)-->
Sorry to butt in, but my earlier post about praying for George and Suz got booted, and I just want to let them know that I'm still pulling for them. Maybe I should start a Prayer thread. I'm sure George wouldn't. We'll just have to pray for him whether he likes it or not! ;)-->
Vickles: Do you think there really are more women in their fifties getting divorced than at other ages? I mean, when I was in my twenties, I knew couples in their twenties who were getting divorced; same with when I was in my thirties, and now in my forties. People seem to get divorced at all ages, don't you think? I mean, the ones I know well are in my peer group, but I don't think I've noticed an increase as I've gotten older. They say the first twenty-five years are the hardest, and maybe there's something to that :)-->. I don't know too many long, long-term marriages that fail, but before that -- well, I think any marriage is vulnerable at any stage. Don't you?
I think trust and respect is so important in a relationship. I didn't realize this until I met my significant other. And with this trust it helps me to know I can do whatever I want or need to without worrying what would happen when I get home sort of thing.
It can carry you through even the menopausal times, I would think.
I think that if I didn't have trust or respect I would be one of those 50's getting out of the relationship when the kids are grown.
I can't wait for the three years to start traveling with my best friend.
"I think trust and respect is so important in a relationship. ... It can carry you through even the menopausal times, I would think."
I agree, without the trust and mutual respect aspect, marriage wjould be far more difficult. I can see now as we are in finishing our first decade of the 'menopause thing', that without the trust and respect marriage would be darn near impossible.
I think that it has also helped with me being Mister Mom this past three years. Perhaps more husbands should try being 'Mr Mom' to five kids for a few years.
My Dad pitched in when he was home. He showed me more about cooking than my Mom. Maybe he had more patience. It was my father's therapy to cook dinner. His wife would get everything ready recipe wise and he would come in and start mixing and cooking with or without her.
Cooking is my therapy. My husband to be is a great cook and that is nice. He makes this dish for pot luck that everyone ooh's and ahh's over!
I haven't had much time to read the entire thread... so forgive me if I'm rehashing something already mentioned.
While I was married, when we were in the "happliy" stage, there were times when I felt like, "If it weren't for the kids and the sex, what would we do? What would we talk about?"
That was scary. At the time I felt that it was a "normal" wake-up call that adjustments needed to be made in order to keep us together successfully, especially in the later years when the kids grew up , needed us less and then left.
The scariest part of the thought was that "Perhaps there ISN'T a real connection between us at all!"
I'm thinking that my own growth and maturity has me, at age 47, finally coming into my own. I'm thinking now that I have enough life experience, survived enough crap that I really don't give two shakes about some of the things that were kinda scary to me as a younger person.
I'm becoming more and more committed to myself, not in a bad or egotistical way. I'm just far les willing to "bend over" or step back, or sit still and allow life to run me over. Extremely less committed to living n a situation I know I really don't like. Much more committed to living a life I find more personally satisfying, especially when it comes to matters I can control.
Admittedly, I've never lived the life that our society oppresses upon women. BUT. It just makes very clear sense to me that a woman around my age might be having the same late 40's cathartic thoughs I am. I can see a woman reaching 50 and saying, "Hey buddy, you just don't cut it." to hubby. If he doesn't step up, she's outta there, no real harm intended.
I'm not an advocate for divorce, but I think I can see where women may be coming from according to the original question of the thread.
I can sure relate to what alot of you are sharing, I won't go into details but I have definitely changed and have become alot more at peace with myself since I got divorced and now I am so thankful to be getting married to the most wonderful man (Goey) !! I'm finally able to do what I want to do without getting flack for it, talk about liberating!!!
Even though I've got a little ways before I hit fifty, I find I'm doing things that I never thought of doing. As a matter of fact, just this morning I was out on a run, way out in the woods, I could hear a creek nearby so I slipped off my clothes and went skinny dipping, I loved it, it was absolutely exhilerating and I ate wild raspberries to boot!!
I find as the years go by I have become alot more comfortable with who I am and am not afraid to try out new experiences, heck I love the adventures !!!
Yeah, HCW, I think that it is a lot of the same thought processes.
Many of us wait untill the children are raised to finally act out on these thoughts that we have been considering throughout our forties.
We feel then as if we have completed our task and it is *our* time.
I think that sometimes we get to the point that we prefer the idea of a *dry morsel in a quiet roof top* to living with a *contentuous spouse*....(Be it husband or wife)
Even if the spouse is an outstanding person, sometimes after a lifetime of carrying the load of dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, child rearing....having to make every single decision.... be it what to fix for dinner, to where you live, what brand of laundry soap to chose, what kind of movies and entertainment......etc. in light of what is the most beneficial to the whole family, putting aside personal needs and preferences....we are ready to just take care for ourselves for a change.
I think that smart people spot this early and make efforts to take care of each other so they aren`t unduly burdened and burned out...be it the husband with his job or the wife with the family responsibilities.
Lol cowgirl, if that`d been me, I`d a gotten poison ivey all over my nekid self somehow, n for sure soon as I`d a gotten my nekkid bu tt in that stream, a whole troop of folks wouldda come around the bend...dunno, it`s just how things happen for me....
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
18
14
51
12
Popular Days
Jul 2
42
Jun 28
35
Jul 10
26
Jul 11
23
Top Posters In This Topic
Cindy! 18 posts
rascal 14 posts
vickles 51 posts
Ham 12 posts
Popular Days
Jul 2 2005
42 posts
Jun 28 2005
35 posts
Jul 10 2005
26 posts
Jul 11 2005
23 posts
GrouchoMarxJr
For the record...
To my friend George Aar...stand tall my friend, you are a man of honor...I am sorry for your problem...Gawd, I really am.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
This thread was not intended to be about George or anyone else here at gs. Whatever personal problems that are aired was not my intention.
I'm asking that it keep that way. To give thoughts and views of why things happen in our middle age or as we get older.
If you have something personal to say to someone about their personal life I ask that you please private message them.
This has been a good thread and something everyone can relate to. I came up with this not because of anyone here but because it is such a huge epidemic going on in our society.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
I'm sorry it sounded kind of mean, didn't it?
I just don't want this thread taken away or deleted posts again.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
reikilady
Vickles:
I never thought that this thread was about anything other than the topic....Dog gone it...you can't control what people want to say on the public forum....you can try and you can give good reasons why...And sometimes good threads just die...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
Ditto what Laleo said...
Edited by George AarLink to comment
Share on other sites
laleo
Vickles, my apologies. I stand corrected. PT is the way to go.
Edited by laleoLink to comment
Share on other sites
dmiller
Short choo-choo here, if I may ---
George (and Suz -- if you are *lurking* here), I'll be praying for the both of you. I remember when the two of you were first getting together, and were at Steve and Jeannie M*Crakens (sp?) wedding, where our bluegrass band was playing, for the reception.
I gotta tell you -- I was envious of you two. I had just gotten divorced, and I wanted to have love in my own life, like you two had. You spent all that time driving to La Crosse, Wisconsin to see Suz, George --- and when you finally got her to visit here, I could see why.
Whenever I think of the two of you, it is always that scene by the Lester River Bridge, where me and the boys were swatting out bluegrass tunes, and everything was *right* with the world.
George -- I know you don't believe in God. That's OK -- I do.
:)-->
Suz ----- I don't know what your beliefs are (these days).
I will be praying that you can regain the happiness that I still remember you showing to each other way back when. Hope it works.
Had to say all that. Now --- back to the thread.
:)-->
David
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
Dave,
I remember the times only too well now.
You're a gem.
Thank you...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
Well, gosh darn it you all....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChattyKathy
Please check your PT geo.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
Sorry to butt in, but my earlier post about praying for George and Suz got booted, and I just want to let them know that I'm still pulling for them. Maybe I should start a Prayer thread. I'm sure George wouldn't. We'll just have to pray for him whether he likes it or not!
;)-->
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
George Aar, check your PT's please.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
laleo
Vickles: Do you think there really are more women in their fifties getting divorced than at other ages? I mean, when I was in my twenties, I knew couples in their twenties who were getting divorced; same with when I was in my thirties, and now in my forties. People seem to get divorced at all ages, don't you think? I mean, the ones I know well are in my peer group, but I don't think I've noticed an increase as I've gotten older. They say the first twenty-five years are the hardest, and maybe there's something to that
:)-->. I don't know too many long, long-term marriages that fail, but before that -- well, I think any marriage is vulnerable at any stage. Don't you?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
George Aar
Sorry...
Edited by George AarLink to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
Laleo, I don't think so. There as been studies or ariticles on it as stated by others on this thread. So I don't think I'm too out there on this.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
George, thank you for that.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
I think trust and respect is so important in a relationship. I didn't realize this until I met my significant other. And with this trust it helps me to know I can do whatever I want or need to without worrying what would happen when I get home sort of thing.
It can carry you through even the menopausal times, I would think.
I think that if I didn't have trust or respect I would be one of those 50's getting out of the relationship when the kids are grown.
I can't wait for the three years to start traveling with my best friend.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Galen
vickles:
"I think trust and respect is so important in a relationship. ... It can carry you through even the menopausal times, I would think."
I agree, without the trust and mutual respect aspect, marriage wjould be far more difficult. I can see now as we are in finishing our first decade of the 'menopause thing', that without the trust and respect marriage would be darn near impossible.
I think that it has also helped with me being Mister Mom this past three years. Perhaps more husbands should try being 'Mr Mom' to five kids for a few years.
:-)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
Hey Galen, that is a great idea!!!!
But I don't think most men would have as much patience as you apparently do
:)-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
reikilady
My Dad pitched in when he was home. He showed me more about cooking than my Mom. Maybe he had more patience. It was my father's therapy to cook dinner. His wife would get everything ready recipe wise and he would come in and start mixing and cooking with or without her.
Cooking is my therapy. My husband to be is a great cook and that is nice. He makes this dish for pot luck that everyone ooh's and ahh's over!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
I haven't had much time to read the entire thread... so forgive me if I'm rehashing something already mentioned.
While I was married, when we were in the "happliy" stage, there were times when I felt like, "If it weren't for the kids and the sex, what would we do? What would we talk about?"
That was scary. At the time I felt that it was a "normal" wake-up call that adjustments needed to be made in order to keep us together successfully, especially in the later years when the kids grew up , needed us less and then left.
The scariest part of the thought was that "Perhaps there ISN'T a real connection between us at all!"
I'm thinking that my own growth and maturity has me, at age 47, finally coming into my own. I'm thinking now that I have enough life experience, survived enough crap that I really don't give two shakes about some of the things that were kinda scary to me as a younger person.
I'm becoming more and more committed to myself, not in a bad or egotistical way. I'm just far les willing to "bend over" or step back, or sit still and allow life to run me over. Extremely less committed to living n a situation I know I really don't like. Much more committed to living a life I find more personally satisfying, especially when it comes to matters I can control.
Admittedly, I've never lived the life that our society oppresses upon women. BUT. It just makes very clear sense to me that a woman around my age might be having the same late 40's cathartic thoughs I am. I can see a woman reaching 50 and saying, "Hey buddy, you just don't cut it." to hubby. If he doesn't step up, she's outta there, no real harm intended.
I'm not an advocate for divorce, but I think I can see where women may be coming from according to the original question of the thread.
Peace.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cowgirl
I can sure relate to what alot of you are sharing, I won't go into details but I have definitely changed and have become alot more at peace with myself since I got divorced and now I am so thankful to be getting married to the most wonderful man (Goey) !! I'm finally able to do what I want to do without getting flack for it, talk about liberating!!!
Even though I've got a little ways before I hit fifty, I find I'm doing things that I never thought of doing. As a matter of fact, just this morning I was out on a run, way out in the woods, I could hear a creek nearby so I slipped off my clothes and went skinny dipping, I loved it, it was absolutely exhilerating and I ate wild raspberries to boot!!
I find as the years go by I have become alot more comfortable with who I am and am not afraid to try out new experiences, heck I love the adventures !!!
Cowgirl
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Yeah, HCW, I think that it is a lot of the same thought processes.
Many of us wait untill the children are raised to finally act out on these thoughts that we have been considering throughout our forties.
We feel then as if we have completed our task and it is *our* time.
I think that sometimes we get to the point that we prefer the idea of a *dry morsel in a quiet roof top* to living with a *contentuous spouse*....(Be it husband or wife)
Even if the spouse is an outstanding person, sometimes after a lifetime of carrying the load of dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, child rearing....having to make every single decision.... be it what to fix for dinner, to where you live, what brand of laundry soap to chose, what kind of movies and entertainment......etc. in light of what is the most beneficial to the whole family, putting aside personal needs and preferences....we are ready to just take care for ourselves for a change.
I think that smart people spot this early and make efforts to take care of each other so they aren`t unduly burdened and burned out...be it the husband with his job or the wife with the family responsibilities.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Lol cowgirl, if that`d been me, I`d a gotten poison ivey all over my nekid self somehow, n for sure soon as I`d a gotten my nekkid bu tt in that stream, a whole troop of folks wouldda come around the bend...dunno, it`s just how things happen for me....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.