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I've been recalling that more than once since I came to GSC that some of you ex-wayfers have made references to spider webs, cob webs, or bugs themselves while sharing about how some of you feel while refering back to way-world. And my somewhat pat answer has become that when I see bugs or webs that I smash them and/or squash them. And while I find the concept of simply smashing them or brushing them out of my way to be possibly helpful to some I've more recently wondered if anyone would willingly expound on just exactly what these references mean for them. Is it that remembering how things were for you gives you the creeps? Is it that you feel that you may still be taken in by certain TWI style manipulations? Is it that these things you suffered in TWI still have you feeling vulnerable and weak. In that case I would happily encourage you to find the strength and clarity of thought to smash these things that "bug" you. Do you think that God or your mind is showing you how to relate to these things in our past? Or is it something else entirely? My hope is that this thread leads to a conversation that actually helps the readers; somehow, sometime.

I'm certain that TWI and the corps was similar to my particular splinter group in most if not all respects. Leadership in River Road Fellowship was reserved mostly for Corps except for cra1g E., who had the capability of being especially bruitish and/or thuggish. I remember once he (Cra1g E.) said," I just know that I was given God's anger for a reason.?" Besides in the no.2 guy's case it gives Barnard the ability to glory that his own special "true son" in the faith was superior to all or any corps that came around anyway. And from years of experience I can share confidently that if Barnard can find a way to manipulate any situation or scripture to have people give him all the glory he will dam sure do it! But back to your point Skyrider..... Over my years with this group it often seemed to me that these leaders lived in some kind of double-minded, double-tongued manner that required some kind of amazing mental gymnastics to maintain at the cost of their own clear conscience I am afraid. They quoted the scriptures that required leadership humility and servitude, but actually required extreem a$$ kissing from everyone else at the same time. Call it forked tongue, double minded, or speaking out of both sides of their mouth at the same time if you will. The hypocrisy was amazing to me. Barnard was willing to admit his servitude to anyone who gave up their life, their family, their financial well being, and never failed to bow at his feet. And his thugs have grown into the same thing. But Barnard is careful above all that his thugs kiss his a$$ even more than everyone else. It is important to him that his thugs give him the glory for being able to live in the authority that he's given them. And it is a control issue also. I hope this much is clear, that they claimed to be servants, but ruled oppresively. At least a tin-pot dictator like Saddam Hussein was honest about what he really was. (edited for grammar, and a little added for clarity)

I bet that was a sight for sore eyes...

The most visible face of twi is the way corps. Twi was and is a top-down organization where directives and policies are mandated without representation. As founder and first president, wierwille set this structure in place for all the obvious reasons: POWER AND CONTROL. The corps program was the prime mover of wierwille's agendas and elitism. Even today's twi-staffers are predominately lorded by the corps. In the late 60s - mid-70s, many of these good-hearted staff members saw "the writing on the wall" and left as wierwille's corps took over departments and cabinet positions. The ushering in of "corps recognition" reached all the way to the trustee level ... even Don and Howard, in a public ceremony, were given honorary corps status for their faithful service. Wierwille was the founder of this "takeover of one's will." Wierwille scrapped the "zero corps" and ratcheted up the intimidation, manipulation and exploitation that was to follow with subsequent corps. Wierwille had the power and authority to change course at any time. He didn't. Yes......corps should have taken the high road of the scriptures and lived accordingly. Many did. Others chose to abide by their corps training......ie martindale, geer, lynn, finnegan, etc. etc. Most twi followers only saw/see "the public face" of twi......region/limb/branch CORPS. A top-down organization.........and the top man is down about six-feet under. <_<

I left before things got that depressing, I mean exclusive.

Dear Twinky, It seems well said to be careful what we smash or brush aside. With the human creature being so complicated and all I would hope not to shoot down what for somebody may be a step in terms of coming to grips with something. But in terms of this vision or prophecy or whatever it was it is easy for me to consider the possibility of needing to do some smashing. But it is impossible to say for sure since I don't know the whole story. Besides, I am not intimate enough with any of the individuals or issues to feel that I have the right to start going after it. But I just hope that this creepy crawly business isn't permanent for anybody in terms of feeling trapped or afraid by the bugs and the webs. (edited for spelling)

The teacher's suite always had a shower, far as I know. The OSC has showers too I believe. I don't know, wouldn't most dressing rooms back stage need showers?

I read chaotic neutral and this brain of mine immediately thought of jumbo shrimp. Ya know, kinda oxymoronish.

What got really scary one time in the men's shower was when the entire group started singing "He Touched Me"! I believe the line started moving a lot faster at that point.

I believe there was a plaque or sign of some sort outside the big top saying it was the largest free standing tent in North America.

Is there any laws about gravesites on private property? You'd think twi would give family members a "whenever" pass.

Wierwille could be nice to people when it suited him, publicity wise. I once sent him some hymns revised to Way doctrine like Church's One Foundation. He replied through Dorothy, "thank you for your concern. Maybe in future edition of Sing Along The Way, wemay use them". Unfortunately, they never did. He once visited Burlington, NC and I spoke to him, saying that for their next vacation to visit the Blue Ridge. He thanked me and that was it. In 1979 at ROA, I was singing in The Way Chorale Internationale and he stopped by to say we were better than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. If only I had know the truth I now know.

what I wonder.. why do they even bother.. maybe its like the sowers experience.. they have a rather *few* long term wayfers or staffers or rejects kids.. the *interesting* part.. they would have my kids as well, if they possibly could. They would roll out the red carpet, if there was the remote possibility they'd be involved again. *They* would welcome them with open arms, as long as the old timers (parent) didn't have any input anymore. Actually, they did roll out the red carpet. And my one kid asked what to expect. I said.. they will treat you like ROYALTY.. for a while. Then come the thumbscrews later.. they would re-enact a "twig" from 1974, if that is what it took.. friggin morons.. too late. The kids are looking at problems infinitely more difficult, than your little religion seems to be able to handle. And .. they know it.. Hmm. Hey.. you staffers and such.. you might just find your kids in the same position.. what do you think.. Maybe I'll find a few in math 101.. who knows..

If LCM were president of Home Depot, he would probably declare half the employees as being homos and then close half the stores...

My personal experience with VPW? Two very, very different people. While in residence in 1975, I discovered my sister had suddenly been sent home from the WOW field. My parents had to go pick her up. She was silent the entire trip home from S.Carolina to Indiana. Cried for weeks, would not eat, could not sleep. Parents called me wondering what happened, and what to do for her-- she wouldn't tell them what happened. I figured I'd ask VP personally, since he would be at Emporia, and had just visited my sister prior to her being sent home. The conversation between "Me & VP"? Very terse, curt. I asked him what happened to her on the field, since she was so vibrant and happy when my parents had visited several weeks before. "She just couldn't handle the WOW field" was the sharp reply. Very intimidating. I found out what actually happened to her only after leaving TWI several decades later. VPW had behaved in a very sexually inappropriate way towards my 17 year old virgin sister. No wonder VP didn't want to talk about it. Fast forward to 1981. Marital problems and problems with state leadership in IL. I had been approaching state leadership about problems my husband had with drinking. At the time, Geek wasn't owning up to his problem and was saying I had an "aversion" to alcohol. State leadership took his side. Long story short, at what was supposed to be a Thanksgiving dinner for the Corps in IL, I was singled out by the Limb leader and area leaders and and blamed for "ruining" Geek's ministry. Geek was embarassed cuz I stared at him the whoie time, and he knew the truth. I got up in the middle of the meeting, told them "F*** you. I don't want anything to do with you or your ministry" and I walked out. Geek walked out with me and apologized all the way home. We ceased going to any local or state functions for TWI, and sent our ABS straight to HQ, bypassing the state. We went to HQ a couple months later for a research meeting and while there I made an appointment with VPW to discuss our problems with each other and with the State leadership in IL. While recounting the Thanksgiving incident and describing all the things the Limb leader was accusing me of in this Thanksgiving "ambush", before I could finish, VPW said "Aw, honey, I woulda said 'F*** you' and walked out!" I burst into tears. VPW looked at Geek and said, "What's the matter with her?" With great pride, Geek said, "Sir, that's exactly what she did!" VPW laughed and said "That's my girl!" After kicking Geek's behind and giving him some directives, VPW built us a fire in his study, told us to stay there as long as we wanted, and was off to a meeting. Then, VPW called the limb coordinator of IL and told him to meet him in Rome City. The limb coordinator got a good @$$ kicking there, and nearly lost his job. Those two incidents comprise the most important personal contact I ever had with VPW and illustrate how he could be cruel and cold on one hand, and warm and responsive on the other. I think it is also why you get polarized views regarding VPW. Some people only saw the "warm fuzzy" side to VPW (I'm talking emotionally here) and so vehemently defend him. Other people only saw the cruel side, and vehemently condemn him. I saw both. He could be patient, loving, understanding, and kind, when he wanted to be. But he could also be calculating and cold. He used people for his own pleasure, not considering the damage that he might be doing to them, and the repurcussions to those women for the rest of their lives. You will find many incidents of both nice and nasty when it comes to VPW. He could help repair marriages and mend hearts. He could also dash them to pieces, and did, frequently.

I was assigned to be Mrs. W's escort at Word in Business two consecutive years. For five days, from 7am-10pm my responsibilities included a wide-range of demanding vigilance [15-hours a day]. This corps-assigned work responsibility required extreme patience, protocol, precision and persistence......with very little personal time throughout the week. When she took a bathroom break....I needed to take a bathroom break (so as NOT to expect her to wait for me). It was a grueling week of work.......both years at WIB. Yes, Mrs. W usually gets a free pass around GS......but from someone who spent, at least, 10 full days with her, (and staying in her home a time or two) she soaked in the spotlight just like her hubby. On so many occasions, the "spiritual protocol" overwhelmed the common sense of the moment. She enjoyed people.....yes. But she ALSO enjoyed the spotlight as "twi's first lady." On a couple of occasions, my actions were not as responsive to her liking......and her glares were cold and riveting. She held her own in wielding "power" and Don Wierwille was close by to watch my servitude as well. And......the "gift table" in her WIB suite was loaded with fine items (both years).

Holly, Mrs. was always nice and gracious when I met her as well.

I grew up headquarters and knew Wierwille. I always found Mrs. Wierwille to be loving and caring. She had a Christmas party every year in the basement of the house. Anyone remember that??? She always served the same ice cream squares, lol. I was probably 9 or 10 years old when Wierwille taught me how to shoot a gun. He and another person (I can’t remember who) were shooting at targets over the pond and I was watching. He asked me if I wanted to try, so he put the shotgun in my hands and told me to be ready for a kickback. I shot and it knocked me on my butt. It was a long time before I picked up a gun after that. Strange!!!

He came to the city where I was a WOW. Since I lived with the WC person in charge of the branch of WOW's I got to spend some personal time with him, at his request, on two occasions. One was when HA fixed breakfast in the little camper they drove around in then. I dropped someting on the way back to our apartment and he picked it up and whacked me on the butt with it. I was not blessed. The second time was, in retrospect, a narrow escape. Later. WG

Met him once. He was cold, very very cold. Course I figured it was because I was such a spiritual worm :)

I never knew him personally. I met him a few times at "meet and greet" type things. The first time I met him, I was very nervous that he would see some sort of devil spirit in me or something. So, anyway, he shakes my hand as he looks down at my name tag and mispronounces my name. Then, he proceeds to rattle on and on about how we needed to get more committed and really push the PLAF class. Asked me if I was signed up yet to go WOW. By the end of the very one sided conversation, he had to look at my name tag again to remember my name. I was not impressed with his "spiritual awareness". edit: I don't personally count stuff like the AC because those were group settings, not one on one.