mj412

I try to find a place between what steve metioned getting away from the irratation, and waterbuffalo solutions of seeking discussion and conseling withthe one causing the anger. To keep things is perspectives is a good thing BUT perspectives change. when perspective change for one and not another anger happens . I really do not know how to deal with anger. I went to conseling with my ex and his wife and the kids . It stopped the verbal attacks but not the resentment or the pain of betraya. I told my son the only way I know to fix regrets is to fill the shame and guilt( which is the baseline of alot of anger) with good thing that allow you to feel beter about yourself. this method takes time. If I am with a family member that I am angry at I often act badly and do not care about it. If it is work , I walk away or use the resource available to find a solutio such as mediation or transfer... I only get real angry at situations with people I really love and for some reason can not discuss the problem which brings me back to PERSPECTIVE my idea of what my ex is as a person is very different than what my daughter seems to think he is . I get angry and where would that discussion ever lead? compromise isnt always going to work for me I believe what I do for a reasona nd so does she. So we have to discuss how we need to discuss this to be able to continue to be as close and intimate as we want to be in our relationship. My brother in law died at a young age and I have watched mysister drink way to much and deal with life on a much more sad level this also makes me angry at what or whom do I discuss this with a dead person? some people do that or think they do I understand that but it doesnt work for me.. so I try to forget and do things in life that make me happy and think of them as I do what floats my boat. to have intense sorrow for to long and to allow the death of a love one to eat at you for to long brings on a type of anger that screws with your life. I say when I die life will go on.. and i try to teach that to my children. life is good and I do believe in the hope of the return and that helps me with alot of anger knowing this life is a temporary situation that will be healed and cured of many of the problems that fester at each of us.

I think all of the above points apply to me but more important was my view of who God and Jesus christ is in my life. The body of christ was so tiny in twi.. how massive it became when I no longer viewed the world with eyes of suspicsion and often times down right threats. I no longer view the world as an evil place I must fight for God to love me more than the rest. I no longer need to think people are out to get me , this allowed me the ability to find love with my family and the people of this world at large. I was disappointed you see by the christians i met In twi ,those who where suppose to be the "best" and I knew they were as evil as they can be. what do I have to lose with an "unbeliever" ? the ability to understand and be honest allowed me to know how God is also honest and capable of a huge amount of love beyond my understanding or "doing" anything worthy of.

lukefish smells like a heavy fish that stays in a swamp with other fish that died three years ago. in casr somone doesnt know what it smells like . yeah well I still have not gone to get my gifts. but I want the home made fudge and the cookies. what to do?

Well abby it doesnt get any better when they are 'grown up" and selfish little brats . children I understand because of the wya Xmas is advertised they have to fit in. grown up children who treat ya like crap after saying thank you can go straight to hell. My relative who has to have Xmas at her house because she refuses to go anywhere eles... complains hahahaha I said to her this year no one is allowed to have it at their house you will back stab and call up their children (grown now) and whine about how you decorated and have all these very expense she also hands out cash money. and guess what they go there and then she plays out the victim of how difficult and how much work it is for her. oh my god I feel like I should find a forum to bitch about how XMAs p;lays out the crap in families that manipulate and have divorce.. sorry. but lol who cares? anywyas your point about it never being enough?? haha this one PAYS them to come to her house . and when I say they do not deserve it and THEY do not she is a victim but hey the family loves her foot on XMAS!!! worth something I guess but it hurts me because I am sick of it so I am the one who RUINS Xmas ya know. Well someone has to do it. I aint out any money man this year was bad and next year may not be any better I think I will take up skiing and go to VALE like the rich folks do to avoid heir families on XMAS... I am thnak full I told my kids well be thankful cause you know what I wouldnt do it ,(I am bad she is good) I do not have the money as I paid the real life bills . so when they call me now for money or rides or consel I tell them to call her. celebrate that! 365 days a furken days. she is happy and I am a loser I guess then again maybe not lol haha . the fact is people will use you as much as you alow them to. now i have grands and ya know what? God have mercy I do not want to have this play out in another genration so this year I gave them up for the holidays . I can not never could compete and I keep thinking Im missing something . oh well have fun people she is Good and pays to prove it to ya! why does love cost sometimes. your little boys love ya abby they do they just think santa means presents and that is a good thing. Xmas is alot of work like Geo said personly I agree when they get old enough to critisize I aint doing it anymore .

to all the family who adore one another and feel the spirit this time of year I say good fo you it does not work out that way for me.

a divorce is filed as a public notice. I would think Pat P. or somone who investigates twi would have a legal copy if they are divorced. It can be checked by going to the county and checking the files.

I do not believe in Santa. I can not lie to my kids. I have been santa i suppose but here is the scoop I told the kids . Santa is as real as mickey mouse chuckie cheese or Donald duck. Santa is a character people play . Yes I took my kids to see santa when they were small and they got gifts. My kids never asked me but they did ask who brought the gifts. I said I did or gramma or a friend who ever did. A few christams we did get gifts from "snta" and I really didnt know who brought them so I said i do not know and they wondered. Finding out your a fool , and have been lied to by the ones you trusted the most i guess is not part of childhood for me. If they are to young to ask I do not say, sure we see the dude in the mall or at the party and he is good he gives a candy cane or a gift. If any more questions pop up I tell the truth. If my grands ask me if santa is real I will say what I told their parents as real as mickey mouse or any other character you might imagine as real. but I do not lie to them and tell them some fat dude we do not know in red fuzzy suit breaks into the house and brings whatever they want. That is unsafe and an outright lie to me. I tell them it is a custume someone pretending to be the character like in the storys on tv or whatever. I have been santa for many years now and the job is open for graps if you ask me.

Parsley you ask about being captive by twi. Well people are captivated by many things in life to some degree . The fact twi had good sales in bible study classes prove only that word of mouth at the time worked well and it did. It was a tiny little cult even in its hey day remeber this is not like the cults like Walmart or pfifer get it? Sales is all it was and not all that successfull really. in perspective it was a hick bible preacher that had a good line for a small pfal class. EX 10 I do not think your the exception in fact I think most did go on to live as you have testified it is just the "victims" and angry people involved that will scream louder and longer as a rule. Life is good for many many more pfal grads than not .

I understand murder. Wow what a statement. it has taken me a half of century of denial to admit it tho. I do not think I would ever kill or murder but I have now come to an understanding of the emotion that may be involved. We had a twelve year old boy in New York murder a four year old . He was recently on TV as a 21 year old wanting parole board to let him free. This type I do not understand no he was not abused or tortured yet he indeed tortured and sexualy abused the four year old boy his reason for killing him? He was teased for his red hair on the school bus. This I do not understand at all. Can we educate this child murderer who was only a child himself? how? I understand rage now when a person who hurts someone I love I think I could murder them at the time.. A terorist has reason and a lofty elite one at that one that comes from god for them and they believe they will be rewarded for the act of it. It is not a sense less mindless crime or an acto of passion, or insanity .This is also fine motivation for many in our own christian circles. some believe here that abortionist should be killed. the fringe of all sects are radical to make the point of their beliefs known . I will say I believe to terrorize another person or nation is effective it does terrorize the people . does compliance follow? so they hope ,but not yet and not ever from America. Amen

We all must judge if we didnt judge we would be very unsafe Kathy. We judge for self preservation that is the name of life in itself. do I have a need to understand those who hurt others? We all are capable of hurting another to what degree and what means is often up to the influence of our culture family friends or basic mental state or in some of these goons they do it for religous recognition. I have no need to understand them , and I feel at no loss to understand a mind of one capable of great harm to another requires some empathy of which I chose to have NONE . My judgement call for my life. I do not drive drunk I wear seat belts, do I judge those who drive drunk and do not wear seat belts? Does the loved ones of those who died at their choice( judgement)have a right to consider them killers? that is their choice but it hurts others which invades another choice to live in a manner that is safe. WE all must judge. to live.

My son and I disagree alot and surprise (well maybe not) we both like to speak our views. It is easy for me to dismiss his ideals with the statement he is young . but I can not and dont . the whole picture is never given to one person, I like to think it as given to the one body of christ. When we know better we do better, in my twenties I thought and did radically different than now and so on it goes with my own mother driving me crazy doing what she thinks is right many years my senior. what is the perspective? Kathy it is love and know to thine own self be true. If you love another their views will never hurt you, and if you indeed can be honest with your own self within then ideals and views will be ever changing and open to growth and that to me is what life is. If I know something is wrong for me, I do not assume it may be wrong for another why would I? My standard as a christian does not fill any standard other than my own personal relatinship with my God. We as community , family , friends and the world at large define who we are and how we interact by being self. It is not an odd thing most consider harm to another as wrong it is basic human safety and concern for welfare . But the degree or measure one decides to enforce such concern is again up to the individual regardless of what the majority may decree. In the end it is always about you and what YOU think and do for every single person on earth. to strap on a bomb and blow up a van full of people as was done today to that person means a noble justice in a righteous act. I do not agree this action would work for me to have the world notice my plight no matter the degree , but they do. Do I judge them? By what standards my own would be poor slobs and killers without any sense their own would be of a mighty soldier working for God , See that is why judgement is again a very personal thing for those who chose to judge and those who they may judge.

they call him chipy on the street, for a reason. Another childhood star that turned to drugs to cope just like gary coleman and all the rest. lol

You use the terms symbolic convergence theory and fantasy theme sharing, ok what they describe is very simple . To have something in common to beieve in . Sure we did all of us of one source or another ie: the bible, the leaders, family members, to get another born again and to speak in tongues. The pfal class. I would consider this the mainstay (theme) for most. whether it is fantasy is up to each individual to decide . EVERY single group has to have a convergence theory to survive . families , work, those who drive this way to work ,the list is endless and the goal or "fantasy" as you describe is common or symbolic to their goals . Is this a 101 scociology course?

We have a group of gramma's who picket our local walmart. lol . they have a mission to tell people as well. but I understand why people work and shop at Walmart they open in areas that need jobs , the wages may be substandard and the company crooked but people need to eat and save money to live. I do understand what saving 5 dollars means to a family who is struggling in these times of decreasing manufacturing jobs and lack of fair education for everyone.

That is an interesting note about Paul, he didnt volunteer for his position in the bible story did he? He started his journey by being strcuk blind and led without choice to another who TOLD him what he was to do with his life, if he was going to ever be able to see again. That is a bit of a threat to your life and sanity isnt it? also his life was not one of peace love and joy he suffered a great deal and was held captive and without any freedom for many years till he died. I wonder if he ever tried to do what he wanted in those years after his encounter with the Lord and what the consequence would have been Im sure he knew the power he was dealing with at that point.

I do not understand this really the no debt thing and owning a house thing, it is supposed that all of the property twi owned the weirwilles own was paid for in cash money with no debt? It may have been possible in the 80's whe the minstry was booming with givers but what about his college tutition or the farm or some of the first grounds did they really pay for everything they ever bought in cash up front. that is incredible. if it is true .

In my opinion civil society who sets the rules then would be in the same frame of thinking as those they wish to kill. to toture another to wish suffering on another to allow them to fend for their own sick twisted mind show a lack of compassion for humanity and is what drives these very acts to begin with.

they are anti-social and would kill one another off if left to their own disciplines. they kill one another enough in the system that is why they are seperate than the rest of the population. It is inhumane to leave them to care for one another how would they eat or get medical help? I think peterson could be a young ted bundy a spoiled brat who wants his own way and if he would have been found inncocent he may do it again. But Oj simpson did the same thing in a passion killing I believe and has lived on without issue. so I do not know.

We have open walls schools which are independent study schools here. they are private and they are expensive my kid goes to one the public school sends her on their bill. One has to be chosen to go to these specialized schools which means the public school decides if they want to invest or not in the student. Or the parent can pay for the child to go IF they meet the standards. Independent study is not for everyone they have very few rules and test when they want no matter the age they have no "grades" a report on their progres is given twice a year. They can come and go whenever they want. My daughter is taking college courses in her field of study and doing very well. But she is not going to graduate high school this year yet!! funny right? well that is independent study for ya they focus on what they want to knowing the requirements for graduation from high school she says it is to much for "this year" and has decided to finish the colleges courses this year and go back to the high school stuff and finish next year math is alot of work for her and she does not want to study it this year. You have to be able to flex. the kid has to pass and make efforts enough to qualify for the program. They offer no gym or art UNless that is what your major in college then you take it there. Colege courses get credit in the high school as well as as credit hours in the college. So the kid has to have a job which can be counted as the gym state requirement hours or join a gym outside of school . NO team sports or clubs or social deals they can go ot their local school proms and such but it is difficult as they are often out of the loop in the circle of high school daily livng. They graduate from their local school like everyone eles is is just how they "get there" that is differnt. Zero tolerence for behaviour problems or drug or mental or family issues . If these areas come up you are removed from the program as it is not a strong support like a public school is demanded to be. It is independent study. The teachers all are top grade and work only part time in ONLY the field of study her math teacher teaches is the director of the community college math program and ENJOYS her position in this school. Most of the teachers work full time in the field they chose, outside of this program and do this to help those motivated in the field ,networking begins EARLY. it is who ya know and they grab the ones who chose to excel early. Every community has these schools some are private and the public school systems get grants to send their brightest students into these programs. The student has to be independent truly and willing to give up the social and academic structure a school can give. Not easy for a teen just trying to fit in.. The program is far from a success, and is constantly under the gun for money the teachers are paid 1/2 what the publc school system offers. Both the teachers and students are in it for independent means and comminted to the manner of learning. Abby go to your administrator and ask about "independent study" programs. If your interested it is a way your student can determine his own path without the politics of the system in your state.

yes Krysilis that is a problem sometimes drug runners and dealers run the community to the point they also run the prison. "Home vists" relative and friends come a couple times a week and "co-workers make a few years not so bad considering the money and power they get from the business. so we have come up with a solution of sorts in my city. It is called project Excile and may be in other communities. IT works!!!!! When a gun and drugs is involved in a crime we EXCILE those convicted to another far away state without the resources of family and friends helping them out while they do their prison time. Long distance communication is difficult, no vists from friends or family. Drug dealers and thugs need a constant presence in the community to thrive as the top dogs. This project cuts the communication and family lines to the point they may have to stop the flow of commerence and love ya know? Because the state has more expense and concern for those convicted of murder I doubt the states will add this crime to the project .

EXACTLY !!!!! perfect answer !!!! thank you!

It will take at least ten years to get through the Supreme court . Then any other additional court hearings and appeals will start. I heard on the news California has had the death penalty since 1978, in which 10 have been put to death with 678 ( nearly 700) still pending . so he may just die in prison. He is a very expensive prisoner as he has to have special guards and holdings due to the fact he killed a woman and a child . Prisoners do not like those who kill children and woman image that in the noble crowd he is considered very high risk and will be kept seperate. They think the fact he was sentenced to death is the only reason he can survive the system, as the regular population will murder him in a life sentence. His lawyer calls it an asset on the news tonite.

A life different than the one I have lived for sure.

Well Im not surprized at this point it will be appealed now (all death cases are automaticly appealed) something.

Well if we knew then what we know now is the lesson in life that haughts many ex. people will always search for love. What is love is the question. ignorance can only last for so long I say.