Since I haven't been here long enough to make an informed decision about anyone I'm not sure I knew in the "real world" or the "unreal world of the way" I am pretty much taking people at face value, with a realization that people lie and sometimes for really stupid reasons.
I will try to use the same criteria I've used on other virtual locations
1. avoid troll-bait topics
2. verifiy what can be verified
3. look for consistency in behavior and opinions
No matter how careful you are, it's still the internet: Everyone could be lying and anyone can be impersonated. Also, if you are too quick to judge you could miss out getting to know some incredible people who could have very good reasons for not wanting to reveal too much.
So, that's mho, but like most things in life, people have to come to their own truth in their own way.
It depends. Many people here I simply have no need to trust. What they post, or their presence in general, has no impact on my life. I can take them at their word and give the benefit of a doubt because of that. If they are full of it, I figure that will be exposed over time.
And TIME is the biggest element of all in building trust. IF over time, their posts don't expose them as being full of it, after reading numerous posts by a person, I will then begin to truly trust that they are who they say they are. Of course, there is more to it than that. Certainly, whether I like the person or not - have similar values, has an impact. But even when the values are different, if there is mutual respect, trust can still be established.
And that's my before coffee ramblings for the day. :D
Most of us here know at least one other poster in real life, due in part to your faithfulness to meet each other on planned events.
I knew a number of you in real life before I discovered GSC. And have met between half a dozen and a dozen since joining the board.
Even the ones I knew for 22 years or so still surprise me with directions and understandings they have as we all grow away from entrapment.
I can trust my gut to some degree. And I have tread where I knew not to do so more than once and just agreed with myself to risk it regardless. But I have found in this cyber world of voices a trust that can't be quite explained. I'll try to give more but that's all I really have on that right now.
I think you all hit on great points. And for me I feel a person will define themselves in time. Some (myself included) will make you love and hate them at moments perhaps. But then ain't any of us here had a dang easy ride in life or we wouldn't find such solace in each other would we.
It's fun also, to imagine what other people are like and look like in real life. I think knowing each other in the "real world" can make someone side with someone else just because of familiarity. I agree with Abigail, time does tell.
Even if I don't agree with a poster regarding a subject, as long as they continue to be consistent in their truth that they present, then that trust is built over time and I trust them (even if they have opposing views).
i know i think i have a little picture in my minds eye about how some posters look and sound.
that is such a funny things about us isnt it?
trust is not an issue for me.
I do not have my personal needs met at greaspot to the point I can allow another to have the space to hurt me.
only because it is an internet forum and all the issues you have said.
it is a perspective. Some have more time or just know more people from twi and they may be able to go a step further and ignite relationships from the past or new ones.
to each his own.
I do not write about all my evil crimes and hidden secrets so i do do not have a need to trust so much. ya know.
my life is pretty a much a open book so it is a non issue for me.
About some never being involved in twi.. Well i do not care i know some write on here like they must be the experts of all the way international was or is!!
for me it was and forever will be an experience in time.
and sometimes it is imprtant to me to know that how I think can be understood.
where eles can that happen?
I can tell. if im wrong and it is all a big illusion lol it wouldnt be the first time.. at least im not getting divorced or getting marked and avoided or being asked to interept a "language only God understands , and i can reuse if I am!!! haha
Trust is not much of an issue for me. I know 1 poster personally and 1 other poster knows my home address. My purpose for posting on GSC is to say what I couldn't easily say while in TWI, mostly about TWI related issues. I don't really WANT to know too many people personally, although I pretty much trust that the people who post on here are truly ex way people. Why would anyone want to fake that?
I usually gravitate to wards people that I think are being up front - it doesn't matter if they agree with me or not. It's kinda hard to do over the Internet - but after awhile you can get a sense of what a person is about.
For me, it's all in their names... especially folks who name themselves after meat and pull string dolls...
naw... I don't know, I guess I 'trust' a lot of folks here... but it's not like "real world" trust is it? It's only cyberspace after all... for me it's a level of comfort gained with individuals over time after running their posts through my individual logic/sanity meter... of course, some I knew in a different land, long ago and far away...
For me, it's all in their names... especially folks who name themselves after meat and pull string dolls...
naw... I don't know, I guess I 'trust' a lot of folks here... but it's not like "real world" trust is it? It's only cyberspace after all... for me it's a level of comfort gained with individuals over time after running their posts through my individual logic/sanity meter... of course, some I knew in a different land, long ago and far away...
Am I being presumptuous to think that includes a ChattyKathy doll?
i now trust tbone
he is writing in a font i don't have to squent at to read!! way to go bone!!
Sometimes I approach Greasespot like walking into a favorite bar. I tend to hang out with my friends, but have no problem meeting new people until they turn out to be an abusive drunk. Then I walk away.
It has helped realizing that some of the people remember me and I remember them: it tends to bring a better mental measure of security and trust than one might experience on other sites. Then it becomes easier to have share thoughts or just have some fun.
Hmmm....good question. Trust for me initially was the words that people wrote, the heart I felt was expressed in their posts and generally getting to know them better in the chat room.
I also tend to trust people who others I already know and trust have said that they know and trust. (did that make any sense at all??? ) What I mean is, all I have to do is ask a few people I already know about a new poster and one of them is BOUND to know the person, or to know someone who knows the person. I think we're only about 3 degrees of separation from each other here.
Other folks don't have any impact on my life and I can take it or leave it as far as what they write - those people I don't even think about trusting, I just take 'em at their word or I don't. :)
Now, a lot of us have been on here for the full 6 years and then at WayDale before then. I feel like I really know you, and the others who have been around that long. We've "talked" almost daily since then and I think I have a pretty good feel for who/how all of us are in "real life" - like at the Weenie Roast there were no personality surprises, just looks and voice surprises.
I generaly dont trust many people..its a side effect of my way days...It is noticible at times..but realy depends on the situation...a glass of wine helps..:)
I'm not a very trusting person at this time in my life, though I was very much too trusting in my past. I am sure TWI 2 wrung that out of me. I have a good marriage, my sister and two brothers and a couple cousins, people I've known all my life, who I trust(well, not my mentally ill brother, that is more of a relationship in which I'm a caretaker.) I have co wrkers I like and some online buddies I enjoy. I have one very good friend who I discuss religion issues with, and a couple others who are almost as close--people I go out for coffee with etc.
As far as GSC, I do have a wall up that I am comfortable behind. Only a couple posters know who I really am, they are people of good hearts who I knew during difficult times and have known me for 10 or more years. We are not close but I have warm memories of them and their kind hearts.
I do find it comforting to visit this board because TWI is still a huge issue in my mind. I enjoy many people on this board, and have found many post thoughtful and even healing posts.
When I first got on the internet and was shown trancechat...well, I was still VERY twit-brained...so I approached it the same way I approached going to twig...
Learned the hard way what is wrong with that approach to life!!!!
But the next step in my evolution was to trust only those who agreed with me...which was really a side-step of the original issue.
Found that out the hard way, too.
Eventually I actually started to move forward in my evolution out of the mucky mire tar pits of twi.
Then I realized that trust is not something I'm willing to give to many folks. Ya know?
BUT...
What I define as trust is probably not what anyone else would define as trust.
There are LOTS of things I talk about here that MANY people think I ought not talk about.
So what? I don't trust their opinions, anyway.
Where I've finally arrived is that I trust myself.
That's all I need to trust, imo...because now that I can trust myself, I can be my own best friend...and I will take care of myself.
Perhaps, we should establish a GSC headquarters. Then, we could have meetings in our homes with just a handful of people and once a year everyone meet at the Anatole in Dallas or on a farm in Iowa or Texas.
Texas is great in January. On some days, you can where shorts.
As long as it's not WACO and no one offers Kool Aid we could have some fun. Then we'd really trust one another.
I don't know that I would come to an online chat for someone to trust. I have had my trust shattered too many times - I am far more wary now than in my blissfully ignorant youth. Come to a site like this for conversation, a little fellowship, maybe even some objective advice, but in the end don't leave yourself vulnerable with a cyber-buddy (or anyone else for that matter!).
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bek
Since I haven't been here long enough to make an informed decision about anyone I'm not sure I knew in the "real world" or the "unreal world of the way" I am pretty much taking people at face value, with a realization that people lie and sometimes for really stupid reasons.
I will try to use the same criteria I've used on other virtual locations
1. avoid troll-bait topics
2. verifiy what can be verified
3. look for consistency in behavior and opinions
No matter how careful you are, it's still the internet: Everyone could be lying and anyone can be impersonated. Also, if you are too quick to judge you could miss out getting to know some incredible people who could have very good reasons for not wanting to reveal too much.
So, that's mho, but like most things in life, people have to come to their own truth in their own way.
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Abigail
It depends. Many people here I simply have no need to trust. What they post, or their presence in general, has no impact on my life. I can take them at their word and give the benefit of a doubt because of that. If they are full of it, I figure that will be exposed over time.
And TIME is the biggest element of all in building trust. IF over time, their posts don't expose them as being full of it, after reading numerous posts by a person, I will then begin to truly trust that they are who they say they are. Of course, there is more to it than that. Certainly, whether I like the person or not - have similar values, has an impact. But even when the values are different, if there is mutual respect, trust can still be established.
And that's my before coffee ramblings for the day. :D
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ChattyKathy
Most of us here know at least one other poster in real life, due in part to your faithfulness to meet each other on planned events.
I knew a number of you in real life before I discovered GSC. And have met between half a dozen and a dozen since joining the board.
Even the ones I knew for 22 years or so still surprise me with directions and understandings they have as we all grow away from entrapment.
I can trust my gut to some degree. And I have tread where I knew not to do so more than once and just agreed with myself to risk it regardless. But I have found in this cyber world of voices a trust that can't be quite explained. I'll try to give more but that's all I really have on that right now.
I think you all hit on great points. And for me I feel a person will define themselves in time. Some (myself included) will make you love and hate them at moments perhaps. But then ain't any of us here had a dang easy ride in life or we wouldn't find such solace in each other would we.
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outofdafog
It's fun also, to imagine what other people are like and look like in real life. I think knowing each other in the "real world" can make someone side with someone else just because of familiarity. I agree with Abigail, time does tell.
Even if I don't agree with a poster regarding a subject, as long as they continue to be consistent in their truth that they present, then that trust is built over time and I trust them (even if they have opposing views).
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pond
i know i think i have a little picture in my minds eye about how some posters look and sound.
that is such a funny things about us isnt it?
trust is not an issue for me.
I do not have my personal needs met at greaspot to the point I can allow another to have the space to hurt me.
only because it is an internet forum and all the issues you have said.
it is a perspective. Some have more time or just know more people from twi and they may be able to go a step further and ignite relationships from the past or new ones.
to each his own.
I do not write about all my evil crimes and hidden secrets so i do do not have a need to trust so much. ya know.
my life is pretty a much a open book so it is a non issue for me.
About some never being involved in twi.. Well i do not care i know some write on here like they must be the experts of all the way international was or is!!
for me it was and forever will be an experience in time.
and sometimes it is imprtant to me to know that how I think can be understood.
where eles can that happen?
I can tell. if im wrong and it is all a big illusion lol it wouldnt be the first time.. at least im not getting divorced or getting marked and avoided or being asked to interept a "language only God understands , and i can reuse if I am!!! haha
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johniam
Trust is not much of an issue for me. I know 1 poster personally and 1 other poster knows my home address. My purpose for posting on GSC is to say what I couldn't easily say while in TWI, mostly about TWI related issues. I don't really WANT to know too many people personally, although I pretty much trust that the people who post on here are truly ex way people. Why would anyone want to fake that?
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T-Bone
I usually gravitate to wards people that I think are being up front - it doesn't matter if they agree with me or not. It's kinda hard to do over the Internet - but after awhile you can get a sense of what a person is about.
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Tom Strange
For me, it's all in their names... especially folks who name themselves after meat and pull string dolls...
naw... I don't know, I guess I 'trust' a lot of folks here... but it's not like "real world" trust is it? It's only cyberspace after all... for me it's a level of comfort gained with individuals over time after running their posts through my individual logic/sanity meter... of course, some I knew in a different land, long ago and far away...
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
i now trust tbone
he is writing in a font i don't have to squent at to read!! way to go bone!!
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ChattyKathy
Am I being presumptuous to think that includes a ChattyKathy doll?
hoorah :)
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topoftheworld
Sometimes I approach Greasespot like walking into a favorite bar. I tend to hang out with my friends, but have no problem meeting new people until they turn out to be an abusive drunk. Then I walk away.
It has helped realizing that some of the people remember me and I remember them: it tends to bring a better mental measure of security and trust than one might experience on other sites. Then it becomes easier to have share thoughts or just have some fun.
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Tom Strange
Of course I was referring specifically to YOU chattingKathy!
...additionally, I think if a person has a halo they should be trusted!
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ChattyKathy
I could see that halo shining in my eyes all way into my office. Yup, I trust you strange one, without question! :wub:
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Belle
Hmmm....good question. Trust for me initially was the words that people wrote, the heart I felt was expressed in their posts and generally getting to know them better in the chat room.
I also tend to trust people who others I already know and trust have said that they know and trust. (did that make any sense at all??? ) What I mean is, all I have to do is ask a few people I already know about a new poster and one of them is BOUND to know the person, or to know someone who knows the person. I think we're only about 3 degrees of separation from each other here.
Other folks don't have any impact on my life and I can take it or leave it as far as what they write - those people I don't even think about trusting, I just take 'em at their word or I don't. :)
Now, a lot of us have been on here for the full 6 years and then at WayDale before then. I feel like I really know you, and the others who have been around that long. We've "talked" almost daily since then and I think I have a pretty good feel for who/how all of us are in "real life" - like at the Weenie Roast there were no personality surprises, just looks and voice surprises.
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oenophile
You can always trust me, trust me.
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likeaneagle
I generaly dont trust many people..its a side effect of my way days...It is noticible at times..but realy depends on the situation...a glass of wine helps..:)
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
is there going to be another weenie roast?
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Bramble
I'm not a very trusting person at this time in my life, though I was very much too trusting in my past. I am sure TWI 2 wrung that out of me. I have a good marriage, my sister and two brothers and a couple cousins, people I've known all my life, who I trust(well, not my mentally ill brother, that is more of a relationship in which I'm a caretaker.) I have co wrkers I like and some online buddies I enjoy. I have one very good friend who I discuss religion issues with, and a couple others who are almost as close--people I go out for coffee with etc.
As far as GSC, I do have a wall up that I am comfortable behind. Only a couple posters know who I really am, they are people of good hearts who I knew during difficult times and have known me for 10 or more years. We are not close but I have warm memories of them and their kind hearts.
I do find it comforting to visit this board because TWI is still a huge issue in my mind. I enjoy many people on this board, and have found many post thoughtful and even healing posts.
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Pete
This is specially for likeaneagle
Hope it's a good year!
Cheers
Pete
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CoolWaters
Trust...such a slippery thing...ya know?
When I first got on the internet and was shown trancechat...well, I was still VERY twit-brained...so I approached it the same way I approached going to twig...
Learned the hard way what is wrong with that approach to life!!!!
But the next step in my evolution was to trust only those who agreed with me...which was really a side-step of the original issue.
Found that out the hard way, too.
Eventually I actually started to move forward in my evolution out of the mucky mire tar pits of twi.
Then I realized that trust is not something I'm willing to give to many folks. Ya know?
BUT...
What I define as trust is probably not what anyone else would define as trust.
There are LOTS of things I talk about here that MANY people think I ought not talk about.
So what? I don't trust their opinions, anyway.
Where I've finally arrived is that I trust myself.
That's all I need to trust, imo...because now that I can trust myself, I can be my own best friend...and I will take care of myself.
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likeaneagle
Pete-
Thank you for the wine...
Salute'
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YIdon'tgotochurch
Perhaps, we should establish a GSC headquarters. Then, we could have meetings in our homes with just a handful of people and once a year everyone meet at the Anatole in Dallas or on a farm in Iowa or Texas.
Texas is great in January. On some days, you can where shorts.
As long as it's not WACO and no one offers Kool Aid we could have some fun. Then we'd really trust one another.
Pass the whine.
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goodseed
I don't know that I would come to an online chat for someone to trust. I have had my trust shattered too many times - I am far more wary now than in my blissfully ignorant youth. Come to a site like this for conversation, a little fellowship, maybe even some objective advice, but in the end don't leave yourself vulnerable with a cyber-buddy (or anyone else for that matter!).
Trust me.... :)
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excathedra
it would probably take two seconds or less to find out who i am
and i would probably tell you sooner than that
i've "met" some interesting folks from here and i'm sure they feel the same about me
i don't know really . most wayfers seem okay to me. but i don't meet anyone i don't know in real time. well that's not entirely true
ummmm what was the question ? i'm 50 you know
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