You may be correct about Old Dan Tucker, but not about the other quotes.
Ca Dreaming's got it. Those quotes are from Little House, and Old Dan Tucker was a favorite little ditty of Mr. Edwards.
"The closer you are to God, the more likely He is to listen."
Laura prays for her newborn brother, who dies anyway. Rev. Alden tells her the above, and she decides to take it literally and climbs a mountain, where she meets up with Ernest Borgnine.
***
"My friends call me Manny."
"Nice to meet you... Manly."
Laura meets the man she will eventually marry, Almonzo Wilder, and promptly botches his nickname. From then on, she, and only she, is allowed to call him Manly. He settles on calling her Beth.
Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.
Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.
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Raf
Wow. This one's been dormant for a while... "Uh I've just been handed a news flash. The word "Canada" is unrhymeable. It's easier to - I don't know - get drunk and try to climb a bull
WordWolf
You are trying far too hard....
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WordWolf
"Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate."
"Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp."
"Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection!"
" Don't worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people. "
"Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!"
"You know what? I've learned something today..."
"Well, that about does it. If you have any questions, I'll leave information packets up front."
"Oh that's good, we need some more toilet paper."
Respect my authorit-ay!"
"But, I'm a psychic."
"No, dude. You're a douche."
"I'm not a douche. What if I really believed dead people talk to me?"
"Then, you're a STUPID douche."
"Umm, Mom..."
"Yes, honey?"
"Um, can I got to the Special Olympics and beat all the special children?"
"No, honey, I believe that is for special children."
"You mean, I'm not special? I thought you said I was special!"
"Okay, children. Let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples now. You go first, Bebe.
That's good. Just use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing."
"TIMAH! And the Lords of the Underworld!"
"But, ladies and gentlemen of this SUPPOSED jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk.
But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!"
"Dammit!"
"What?"
"He's using the Chewbacca Defense!"
"Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks?
That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case?
Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me.
I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense?
Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember,
when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation,
does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this SUPPOSED jury, it does not make sense!
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests."
"But what if when I'm putting on the nose, the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?!"
"Tweek, when has that ever happened except for that one time?"
"We have to return the 'Lord of the Rings' to the Two Towers."
"You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?"
"Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs!"
"You know who I am, don't you?"
"Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's a@$$."
"Step one: Steal underpants, Step two: (silence), Step Three: Profit!!!"
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GeorgeStGeorge
"In Living Color"?
George
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Raf
Nope.
I haven't checked in on this thread. If I had, I'd have said South Park after the first clue.
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GeorgeStGeorge
My cable provider doesn't offer Comedy Central.
George
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WordWolf
Unmistakeably.
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WordWolf
"Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection!"
Cartman getting on the Maury Povich show.
" Don't worry. There are no stupid answers, just stupid people. "
Mr Garrison's typical snarkiness.
"Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!"
An often-quoted line from the first episode--when Kyle needed Ike to drop into the snow.
"You know what? I've learned something today..."
Stan at the end of many episodes.
Respect my authorit-ay!"
Cartman, with one of his most famous lines.
"But, I'm a psychic."
"No, dude. You're a douche."
"I'm not a douche. What if I really believed dead people talk to me?"
"Then, you're a STUPID douche."
Stan and John Edwards. We discussed this episode on the GSC before.
"TIMAH! And the Lords of the Underworld!"
Timmy's famous "TIMAH!" and "his" rock-band.
"But, ladies and gentlemen of this SUPPOSED jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk.
But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!"
"Dammit!"
"What?"
"He's using the Chewbacca Defense!"
"Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks?
That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case?
Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me.
I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense?
Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember,
when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation,
does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this SUPPOSED jury, it does not make sense!
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests."
Johnny Cochran and the famous Chewbacca Defense.
If you've never seen it, you should catch it off YouTube at some point.
It's cited online as a tactic of distraction.
"But what if when I'm putting on the nose, the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?!"
"Tweek, when has that ever happened except for that one time?"
A reference to one of the aborted pilot episodes, and Tweek is mentioned here.
That's the jumpy kid whose dad runs a coffee shop, and drinks loads of coffee.
"We have to return the 'Lord of the Rings' to the Two Towers."
Their LotR spoof episode, where they took the tape of LotR back to the Two Towers video store.
"You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?"
"Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs!"
C'mon, where else have you heard of Cheesy Poofs?
"You know who I am, don't you?"
"Well, you ain't Fiona Apple, and if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's a@$$."
I mentioned this once.
This is what Officer BarBrady said to Barbra Streisand.
"Step one: Steal underpants, Step two: (silence), Step Three: Profit!!!"
This was the grand plan of the underwear-stealing gnomes, who only lacked a way to
get to the profit stage. It's a catch-phrase in some circles.
Go, Raf!
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Raf
Except you screwed up the Underpants Gnomes.
it was PHASE one, two and three.
Hey, what's phase two?!?!?
ohmygodtheykilledkenny. youbastards. Listen, we've got to understand business. can you help us?
"The closer you are to God, the more likely He is to listen."
***
"My friends call me Manny."
"Nice to meet you... Manly."
***
"Combed his hair with a wagon wheel."
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Raf
Old Dan Tucker was a fine old man
washed his face in a frying pan
combed his hair with a wagon wheel
died with a toothache in his heel.
Get out the way for Old Dan Tucker
He's too late to get his supper
Supper's over and dinner's cookin'
Old Dan Tucker just stands there lookin...
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Ca_dreaming
Little House on the Prairie?
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WordWolf
You know,
most quotes from "THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW"
would have gotten me stuck,
but that one's about the only one that would have worked.
I once saw that episode,
AND wondered-as a kid- about supper ending and dinner being on the way.
Which was enough to make me remember the line.
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Raf
WordWolf,
You may be correct about Old Dan Tucker, but not about the other quotes.
Ca Dreaming's got it. Those quotes are from Little House, and Old Dan Tucker was a favorite little ditty of Mr. Edwards.
"The closer you are to God, the more likely He is to listen."
Laura prays for her newborn brother, who dies anyway. Rev. Alden tells her the above, and she decides to take it literally and climbs a mountain, where she meets up with Ernest Borgnine.
***
"My friends call me Manny."
"Nice to meet you... Manly."
Laura meets the man she will eventually marry, Almonzo Wilder, and promptly botches his nickname. From then on, she, and only she, is allowed to call him Manly. He settles on calling her Beth.
***
"Combed his hair with a wagon wheel."
Part of the Old Dan Tucker lyric.
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WordWolf
Funny how some songs just pop up like that.
I never saw "Little House", but I saw a few episodes of the Andy Griffith Show,
and Opie was singing that song once.
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GeorgeStGeorge
Just bumping this up to remind Dreamer...
George
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Ca_dreaming
Thanks George, last I read was was Word Wolf thought he had it, so much for thinking, okay!!!!
This is the city: Los Angeles, California. I work here. I'm a cop.
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hiway29
Just the facts, M'aam.
Dragnet
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Ca_dreaming
Awesome hiway29, yer up
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hiway29
finish the song-
There's a hold up in the Bronx
Brooklyn's broken out in fights
There's a traffic jam in harlem
That's backed up to Jackson heights
There's a scout troop short a child
Kruschev's due at Idlewild........
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Suda
Car 54, where are you?
Suda
(edited to add the comma, think that is gramatically correct).
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hiway29
well, that didn't take long.
and why is Car 54 not out on DVD, is what I wanna know
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Suda
Was I an accident?
No, D.J., you were a surprise.
Oh. What's the difference?
Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.
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wasway
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WordWolf
*wild swing*
"Full House"?
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hiway29
The only DJ's I know are on 'Full House' and 'Beany and Cecil'. ( "DJ you dirty guy !" DJ being short for Dishonest John.)
I think it's safe to say it's not Beany, so I'd guess Wordwolf is right.
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