You know you are in TWI if...

[ChasUFarley]

Not only have you strung chairs - you've strung RESIN CHAIRS!

Edited May 18, 2007 by ChasUFarley

[GrouchoMarxJr]

...You know you are in twi if :

...you find yourself kidnapped by people that were paid thousands of dollars by your family members

...you stand up every time "certain people" walk into the room

...you nervously twitch your lip, hoping that you won't be called upon to "manifest"

... you'd rather be singing "tempted and tried" around a campfire than passing a doobie

...finding a good parking place at the mall is considered a "miracle of God"

...you eat golden seal when you get double pneumonia

...you have people arrested for wanting to visit a gravesite

...you understand what the words "casually elegant" mean

...you "witnessed" to the police officer who arrested you for hitch hiking

[doojable]

........you think that eating raw potatoes will get you enough "natural penicillin" to fight a major infection.

[JavaJane]

...you eat golden seal when you get double pneumonia

Hey, now! Goldenseal is some good stuff! (tastes like dirt, looks like dirt, but man, it works!) But for double pneumonia, you should probably head to the hospital or something...

[doojable]

.....if you've ever EATEN freeze-dried Folger's coffee :wacko:

[T-Bone]

You know you’re in TWI if the following makes sense to you:

I’m my own grandpa.

Putting money in a cornucopia makes God spit in your direction.

Even if you can’t dance to save your life it may be God’s will for you to star in the Athletes of the Spirit video.

Fear is to believing what kryptonite is to Superman.

If you jack with the number of those crucified with Jesus, your Bible will fall to pieces.

The two best ways to avoid sin are to renew your mind to it or become spiritually mature enough to handle it.

[ChasUFarley]

.....if you've ever EATEN freeze-dried Folger's coffee :wacko:

Please tell me the story you MUST have behind this one... :)

[waterbuffalo]

Tell, tell, Dooj...never heard of eating freeze dried coffee.

You know you're in twi if you wake up in the morning and just heap in half as many coffee ground scoops on top of your old ones from yesterday to make the same amount of coffee in order to....drum roll....stretch your coffee (this is a true one from Uncle Harry, lol).

Edited May 20, 2007 by waterbuffalo

[doojable]

Please tell me the story you MUST have behind this one... :)

Ok - well here goes....

Sigh, how embarassing! Some folks in rez had Mr Coffee coffee makers and they would chip in with a bunch of friends and make their own coffee when they needed that little extra "zing."

Others of us had either Folger's freeze dried or Nescafe dried coffee - whatever was cheaper or whichever our sponsors sent us.

Sometimes before a major teaching, especially if it was a major work day, we'd barely have time to shower and change much less get our buzz on. So.......it wasn't uncommon to just take a big spoonful of those brown crystals and .....well, it wasn't tasty but it did the trick. I learned it from elder corps...desparate times call for desparate measures.

[ChasUFarley]

Ok - well here goes....

Sigh, how embarassing! Some folks in rez had Mr Coffee coffee makers and they would chip in with a bunch of friends and make their own coffee when they needed that little extra "zing."

Others of us had either Folger's freeze dried or Nescafe dried coffee - whatever was cheaper or whichever our sponsors sent us.

Sometimes before a major teaching, especially if it was a major work day, we'd barely have time to shower and change much less get our buzz on. So.......it wasn't uncommon to just take a big spoonful of those brown crystals and .....well, it wasn't tasty but it did the trick. I learned it from elder corps...desparate times call for desparate measures.

I LOVE coffee, but....

[doojable]

I LOVE coffee, but....

Yea....It made Espresso taste weak.....

[T-Bone]

You know you're in TWI if you:

Crossed out every occurrence of the word "problem" in your math book and wrote "opportunity" above it.

Time career changes around The Rock of Ages and Corps Week.

Choose house/apartment to rent based solely on size of living room and ample parking for guests.

Think surfing the net is trafficking in devil spirits.

Wonder when your believing for prosperity is going to pay off.

Translate in your head ordinary conversations with a neighbor into ministry jargon – just to keep it interesting.

Are able to cite every PFAL principle behind the success of famous people – past or present.

Think speaking in tongues will fix any technical problem [oops, I mean "opportunity"].

Are often tempted to wonder about the exact monetary value of God spitting in your direction.

Edited May 20, 2007 by T-Bone

[waysider]

Tell, tell, Dooj...never heard of eating freeze dried coffee.

You know you're in twi if you wake up in the morning and just heap in half as many coffee ground scoops on top of your old ones from yesterday to make the same amount of coffee in order to....drum roll....stretch your coffee (this is a true one from Uncle Harry, lol).

Yep.

Did the "stretch the coffee" thing in Fellowlaborers.

I was on breakfast duty for 2 years so I am guilty of lots and lots of stretching.

You were supposed to put a pinch of salt on top of the new grounds to help cut the off-taste.

Just for the record---------IT TASTES LIKE CR@P!!

[Eyesopen]

Ok - well here goes....

Sigh, how embarassing! Some folks in rez had Mr Coffee coffee makers and they would chip in with a bunch of friends and make their own coffee when they needed that little extra "zing."

Others of us had either Folger's freeze dried or Nescafe dried coffee - whatever was cheaper or whichever our sponsors sent us.

Sometimes before a major teaching, especially if it was a major work day, we'd barely have time to shower and change much less get our buzz on. So.......it wasn't uncommon to just take a big spoonful of those brown crystals and .....well, it wasn't tasty but it did the trick. I learned it from elder corps...desparate times call for desparate measures.

Yup, I really am glad that now they have chocolate coated coffee beans. They taste a bunch better.

[doojable]

I was just thinking about that today!

Ok

You know you're in TWI if every time someone reads a verse of scripture to you - you have an alternate, completely off the wall interpretation.

[GrouchoMarxJr]

You know that you're in twi if you think that the organization to which you belong, is the greatest threat to the devil's kingdom.

[dmiller]

You know you're in twi if you wake up in the morning and just heap in half as many coffee ground scoops on top of your old ones from yesterday to make the same amount of coffee in order to....drum roll....stretch your coffee (this is a true one from Uncle Harry, lol).

I tried this ONCE. It looked like a urine sample.

I poured it down the sink, and made a REAL pot of coffee.

What was I thinking in the first place??!

[doojable]

You were thinking that you had to steward the little you had or God wouldn't give you more. (Because that's Waybrain!)

Omigosh! I can't believe I remember this stuff!

[GrouchoMarxJr]

...You carry a bucket and squeegee in the trunk of your car

...You drive a broken down jalopy that has a green bumper sticker on the back bumper, proclaiming the "Abundant Life".

...When you hear the name "Dorothy", you automatically put your fork down.

...You have more cassette teaching tapes lying around your house than music CDs.

...You never have to worry about scheduling in your evenings...it's done for you.

...Speaking forth a message from God is only considered an "intermediate" spiritual act.

...wander around the mall, inviting strangers to your house

[Ham]

..wander around the mall, inviting strangers to your house

Only inviting after getting a reference from their dentist and stock broker..

[doojable]

...if you call replace the word "problems" with "opportunities."

...if you can look someone that you have just given a face-melting to square in the eye and say, "I'm just trying to bless you."

[ChasUFarley]

You're over 30 and you're still framing posters! <_<

[doojable]

...if you buy your "living room art" from the Way International Bookstore. ( UGH!)

[waterbuffalo]

I tried this ONCE. It looked like a urine sample.

I poured it down the sink, and made a REAL pot of coffee.

What was I thinking in the first place??!

Waysider and DMiller:

We weren't thinking (please note: I haven't admitted to trying it yet)

[JavaJane]

...if you buy your "living room art" from the Way International Bookstore. ( UGH!)

ROTF LMAO!!

I was just thinking the same thing - and the more recent you get, the uglier they are!