modcat5 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I know this isn't what you were thinking about, but it is a true statement if x is a negative number. Touche. If you can count your take home pay in negative numbers, however... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bone Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you’re in TWI if you: Own a talking wristwatch that announces, “This day and time and hour is…” Try to get out of contracts by saying italicized words are not in the original text. Suggested your local paper change the Want Ads section to Needs and Wants Parallel Ads. Were caught replacing the Permanent Resident Green Cards with PFAL Green Cards at local Immigration Office. Always answer a question with a question on any test. Remembered the Way in your will. Were arrested for cutting the word “Trinity” out of every book and magazine at the local library. Thanks, Groucho and folks for a fun thread!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waterbuffalo Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Hi T-Bone. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Touche.If you can count your take home pay in negative numbers, however... Weren't you s'posed to give at least 10% of gross, 'cuz you wouldn't want to put the government before Gawd ... I guess you received no blessing if you only gave 10% of take home :o So if x=gross pay 0.9x > x and 0.85x > 0.9x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmiller Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're in twi if --- the ring tones on your cell phone play Beautiful Ohio. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doojable Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're in twi if ---the ring tones on your cell phone play Beautiful Ohio. :blink: OUCH! I'm in pain just thinking about it.... Thanks a lot, Dmiller.... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrouchoMarxJr Posted May 14, 2007 Author Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're in twi if... All your dress shirts have multiple pin holes in them from wearing name tags If you think that M&Ms stands for Maggie Muggins If the face of uncle Harry gives you a warm feeling If you are aware of how many people you are "spiritualy responsible" for If you have nightmares about "children's fellowship" If you have to hide your marajuana when your branch leader comes to visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doojable Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 If you have to hide your marajuana when your branch leader comes to visit. If you think that what they call the "sign of the cross' stands for: Mint, zipper ('cuz you may have just "used" it;)) dove, nametag...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmiller Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're in twi if ---the ring tones on your cell phone play Beautiful Ohio. :blink: OUCH! I'm in pain just thinking about it....Thanks a lot, Dmiller.... ;) Ohhhh -- I'm sorry!! Here -- may I offer a ham and pineapple pizza to take away the pain? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doojable Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Good Gawd! What's wrong with you? Now my ears AND me stomach hurt........;) It's called "pizza" not "fruit salad with meat on the side." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChasUFarley Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 now throw in a picture of jesus for dooj... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrouchoMarxJr Posted May 14, 2007 Author Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're in twi if: Your wedding was shared with a dozen other couples and nobody in your family came If all your old friends are laughing at you behind your back If you find yourself 55 years old with no future because you were just marked and avoided If the words "Tulsa, Oklahoma" conjures up visions of snowstorms If your dead grandma tried to talk to you but you rebuked her as a devil spirit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doojable Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 now throw in a picture of jesus for dooj... My eyes! I'm blinded! heheheheheh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bone Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Hi T-Bone. :D Hi, Water Buffalo - and I guess in keeping with the spirit of this thread I feel compelled to say, "bless you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JavaJane Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know what a dehumidifier is and the consequences of not emptying one. You parents encouraged you to not have friends in school. You vacationed in the Black Swamp. You consider fairy tales to be devilish. You can say f**k but you can't say luck. Your knee jerk response to seeing someone you know is "bless you." You know the horrors of the showers of blessing (we called them the showers of cursing.) You thought WOW burgers tasted good. You thought people who didn't buy meal tickets at WIB weren't spritiual (really they were just smart.) Anyone smarter than your leadership was considered possessed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrouchoMarxJr Posted May 14, 2007 Author Share Posted May 14, 2007 Anyone smarter than your leadership was considered possessed. I think I'm gonna wet myself... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suda Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You can say f**k but you can't say luck. Best laugh I've had all day! Thanks. Suda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JavaJane Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Glad to be of amusement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doojable Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You found your calling Java Jane! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JavaJane Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You found your calling Java Jane! ;) I'm thinking of applying over at Letterman... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
another spot Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You know you're are in twi if you don't care what happened to Coco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
What The Hey Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You thought WOW burgers tasted good. They did - unless you made them exactly like VPW or LCM made them to taste good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolchef Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 of course they tasted good after eons of hours of whatever they had you doing any thing would have tasted good even cardboard burgers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out There Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Everytime you here a clock chime you start your Knowles Breathing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHighWay Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 If you think being 5 minutes early means you are late. If you go jogging, and calculate how many aerobic points it will be worth. If you feel the urge to have a driving buddy and a caravan on every road trip. If you make a point of clarifying the difference between Jew and Judean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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T-Bone
You know you’re in TWI if you:
Own a talking wristwatch that announces, “This day and time and hour is…”
Try to get out of contracts by saying italicized words are not in the original text.
Suggested your local paper change the Want Ads section to Needs and Wants Parallel Ads.
Were caught replacing the Permanent Resident Green Cards with PFAL Green Cards at local Immigration Office.
Always answer a question with a question on any test.
Remembered the Way in your will.
Were arrested for cutting the word “Trinity” out of every book and magazine at the local library.
Thanks, Groucho and folks for a fun thread!!!!
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waterbuffalo
Hi T-Bone. :D
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rhino
Weren't you s'posed to give at least 10% of gross, 'cuz you wouldn't want to put the government before Gawd ... I guess you received no blessing if you only gave 10% of take home :o
So if x=gross pay
0.9x > x
and 0.85x > 0.9x
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dmiller
You know you're in twi if ---
the ring tones on your cell phone play Beautiful Ohio.
:blink:
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doojable
OUCH! I'm in pain just thinking about it....
Thanks a lot, Dmiller....
;)
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GrouchoMarxJr
You know you're in twi if...
All your dress shirts have multiple pin holes in them from wearing name tags
If you think that M&Ms stands for Maggie Muggins
If the face of uncle Harry gives you a warm feeling
If you are aware of how many people you are "spiritualy responsible" for
If you have nightmares about "children's fellowship"
If you have to hide your marajuana when your branch leader comes to visit.
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doojable
If you think that what they call the "sign of the cross' stands for:
Mint, zipper ('cuz you may have just "used" it;)) dove, nametag......
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dmiller
Ohhhh -- I'm sorry!! Here -- may I offer a ham and pineapple pizza to take away the pain?
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doojable
Good Gawd! What's wrong with you? Now my ears AND me stomach hurt........;)
It's called "pizza" not "fruit salad with meat on the side."
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ChasUFarley
now throw in a picture of jesus for dooj...
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GrouchoMarxJr
You know you're in twi if:
Your wedding was shared with a dozen other couples and nobody in your family came
If all your old friends are laughing at you behind your back
If you find yourself 55 years old with no future because you were just marked and avoided
If the words "Tulsa, Oklahoma" conjures up visions of snowstorms
If your dead grandma tried to talk to you but you rebuked her as a devil spirit
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doojable
My eyes! I'm blinded!
heheheheheh
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T-Bone
Hi, Water Buffalo - and I guess in keeping with the spirit of this thread I feel compelled to say, "bless you."
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JavaJane
You know what a dehumidifier is and the consequences of not emptying one.
You parents encouraged you to not have friends in school.
You vacationed in the Black Swamp.
You consider fairy tales to be devilish.
You can say f**k but you can't say luck.
Your knee jerk response to seeing someone you know is "bless you."
You know the horrors of the showers of blessing (we called them the showers of cursing.)
You thought WOW burgers tasted good.
You thought people who didn't buy meal tickets at WIB weren't spritiual (really they were just smart.)
Anyone smarter than your leadership was considered possessed.
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GrouchoMarxJr
I think I'm gonna wet myself...
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Suda
Best laugh I've had all day! Thanks.
Suda
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JavaJane
Glad to be of amusement!
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doojable
You found your calling Java Jane! ;)
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JavaJane
I'm thinking of applying over at Letterman...
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another spot
You know you're are in twi if you don't care what happened to Coco.
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What The Hey
They did - unless you made them exactly like VPW or LCM made them to taste good.
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coolchef
of course they tasted good
after eons of hours of whatever they had you doing any thing would have tasted good
even cardboard burgers
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Out There
Everytime you here a clock chime you start your Knowles Breathing
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TheHighWay
If you think being 5 minutes early means you are late.
If you go jogging, and calculate how many aerobic points it will be worth.
If you feel the urge to have a driving buddy and a caravan on every road trip.
If you make a point of clarifying the difference between Jew and Judean.
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