Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

cult and sexual abuse tactics of vpw (from Old Way tapes thread)


Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, annio said:

5) "Having disabled logical thinking about the traumatic relationship, the leader can then introduce even more of the fictitious ideology to explain away and redirect the follower’s terror. It’s a positive feedback loop with a biochemical element: physiologically, the victim is engaged in an effort to manage their cortisol or anxiety levels by seeking proximity to a safe haven, but never succeeding in attaining adequate comfort. It is for this reason that we can predict that cultic systems will attempt to interfere with and control any alternative attachment relationships a person might have. To fail to do so would allow the follower to find a safe haven elsewhere and potentially escape the emotional and cognitive control of the group. This is the same thing we see in controlling relationships such as in cases of domestic violence, of the Stockholm Syndrome or, frequently, with pimps and prostitutes, as well as in human trafficking."  [I did not stick around long enough to experience this, but a few folks I knew did.]

THIS.  THIS.  

This is why I could not leave the group for so long.

1.  My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit.  So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED

2.  Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me.  WOW became my family.  FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI

3.  I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go?  My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED

4.  Family was made Mark and Avoid.  Mosqueda called my Limb coordinator so that he could get to me before my family was able to call. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED, DEPEND ON TWI ONLY

5.  I tried to keep connection with my family but was told by my Limb coordinator that I needed to "put God first" and that my family was "operating devil spirits, especially your mom." 

6. I Marked and Avoided my family.  For YEARS I had no contact with them.  The only people I had around for support were from twi.

7.  I decided (at the pushing of the Limb Coordinators) to go WD.

       7a. Coincidentally, I finally accepted calls and a visit from my brothers, and then my parents at this time.  Started rebuilding those relationships again. 

8.  I was treated as "special" when John Rupp called me and asked me to go on Staff as a WD - what an HONOR! (puke)

9.  I went WD, met this guy who wasn't raised in the Word, who stood up against leadership when they were wrong.

10.  HQ people (WC) tried to separate us.  Told us "NO DATING ON THE WAY DISCIPLE FIELD."   OH NO, STOP RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!

11.  The night WD ended, we started dating. 

12.  Engaged in 3 months and stayed at HQ - both of us were afraid the other would break up if we left HQ (didn't figure this out until years later.)

13.  We both finally had someone we could really talk to and trust.  Started figuring out just HOW HORRIBLE HQ was - and that it wasn't just in our heads, and it wasn't us who was "out of fellowship."

14.  Married at HQ the next year - probably too early in our relationship.  My family came. REBUILDING FAMILY.  STARTING A NEW ONE.

15.  Left HQ, moved out on the field.  But our eyes were opened, and we could see that it was just as messed up on the field as it was at HQ.

16.  When my husband realized that he wasn't treating me well AS HIS WIFE, he turned to his leadership for help - they told him he was right to treat me that way because a man is the head of the house.  TRYING TO ERODE AND ERASE THE RELATIONSHIP

17.  Married for 3 years, and got pregnant.  Husband had stopped attending fellowship at that point, and I was wavering.  My fellowship coordinator shows up AT MY JOB and asks how I am doing.  I tell him I am pregnant, and he responds "oh, is that a good thing?"  FAMILY ISN'T GOOD TO THE WAY BECAUSE IT GETS IN THE WAY OF CONTROL.

18.  We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address.  We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.

19.  Happily married now for 15 years.  Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow.  I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have.  We talk weekly.  TWI can suck it.

 

IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY.  IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.

MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME??  That was a LIE from hell.

 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, JavaJane said:

18.  We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address.  We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.

19.  Happily married now for 15 years.  Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow.  I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have.  We talk weekly.  TWI can suck it.

 

Congratulations JJ! :eusa_clap: 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, annio said:

Food for  thought? Hope of interest to some... Am processing a little/lot more, heh heh: from an article based on the book ‘Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems’ by Alexandra Stein © 2016 (She quotes other authors from time to time); "There are five features of a totalist system I had identified based on Arendt and Lifton’s work." -

1) "... the leader is both charismatic and authoritarian. ... "Not all leaders want to get rich, gain sexual favours, or grab political power. But all want utter control over others." [Yep]

(snip)

I think being in TWI is like being in a toxic relationship. It proved to be a one-sided relationship - something very bad and draining to my intellectual, emotional, physical, social, and financial health. It’s been some 34 years since I left the cult and have come to realize that TWI is like a parasite.... It needs the life, money and energy of followers – this is a one-sided relationship and by far outweighs whatever the cult supposedly provides its followers. A cult needs people – it depends on them for its very survival…I think cult leaders want to have a lot of power over followers to properly manage their “resources” and ensure that no talent, energy, money…whatever is wasted on anything outside the cult.

Annio, that Terror, Love and Brainwashing book by Alexandra Stein sounds interesting – I’ve put it on my wish list to check out sometime – thanks for mentioning it.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

As a former lawyer, and occasionally I did a bit of work in matrimonial matters, I never really "got" abusive couple relationships and why one would keep returning to the abusive partner time after time.  I knew the "theory" (if you like); but I didn't understand the gradual erosion of boundaries.  "If he keeps hitting you like that - just leave!" 

Later, processing my experiences post-Way, ah! then I "got" it.  Emotionally.  Whole different picture then.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, JavaJane said:

THIS.  THIS.  

This is why I could not leave the group for so long.

1.  My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit.  So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED

2.  Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me.  WOW became my family.  FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI

3.  I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go?  My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED

IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY.  IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.

MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME??  That was a LIE from hell

Wow, JJ, well done! :eusa_clap: I so ID with the highlighted sections above!! Pretty amazing what we can endure sometimes...  So glad you have reconnected well with families, and thank you for processing/telling your amazing Life Story here!

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, JavaJane said:

THIS.  THIS.  

This is why I could not leave the group for so long.

1.  My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit.  So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED

2.  Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me.  WOW became my family.  FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI

3.  I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go?  My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED

4.  Family was made Mark and Avoid.  Mosqueda called my Limb coordinator so that he could get to me before my family was able to call. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED, DEPEND ON TWI ONLY

5.  I tried to keep connection with my family but was told by my Limb coordinator that I needed to "put God first" and that my family was "operating devil spirits, especially your mom." 

6. I Marked and Avoided my family.  For YEARS I had no contact with them.  The only people I had around for support were from twi.

7.  I decided (at the pushing of the Limb Coordinators) to go WD.

       7a. Coincidentally, I finally accepted calls and a visit from my brothers, and then my parents at this time.  Started rebuilding those relationships again. 

8.  I was treated as "special" when John Rupp called me and asked me to go on Staff as a WD - what an HONOR! (puke)

9.  I went WD, met this guy who wasn't raised in the Word, who stood up against leadership when they were wrong.

10.  HQ people (WC) tried to separate us.  Told us "NO DATING ON THE WAY DISCIPLE FIELD."   OH NO, STOP RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!

11.  The night WD ended, we started dating. 

12.  Engaged in 3 months and stayed at HQ - both of us were afraid the other would break up if we left HQ (didn't figure this out until years later.)

13.  We both finally had someone we could really talk to and trust.  Started figuring out just HOW HORRIBLE HQ was - and that it wasn't just in our heads, and it wasn't us who was "out of fellowship."

14.  Married at HQ the next year - probably too early in our relationship.  My family came. REBUILDING FAMILY.  STARTING A NEW ONE.

15.  Left HQ, moved out on the field.  But our eyes were opened, and we could see that it was just as messed up on the field as it was at HQ.

16.  When my husband realized that he wasn't treating me well AS HIS WIFE, he turned to his leadership for help - they told him he was right to treat me that way because a man is the head of the house.  TRYING TO ERODE AND ERASE THE RELATIONSHIP

17.  Married for 3 years, and got pregnant.  Husband had stopped attending fellowship at that point, and I was wavering.  My fellowship coordinator shows up AT MY JOB and asks how I am doing.  I tell him I am pregnant, and he responds "oh, is that a good thing?"  FAMILY ISN'T GOOD TO THE WAY BECAUSE IT GETS IN THE WAY OF CONTROL.

18.  We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address.  We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.

19.  Happily married now for 15 years.  Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow.  I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have.  We talk weekly.  TWI can suck it.

 

IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY.  IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.

MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME??  That was a LIE from hell.

 

Wow, what a story!  Thanks for sharing that.

Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, outandabout said:

Wow, what a story!  Thanks for sharing that.

no problem.  There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide.

All in all, I survived and am living well.  I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World.  Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was just the crazy made up world of TWI.  The world it is set in is modern day Midwestern US, but crawling with demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures.  The protagonist is a protector of humanity's free will who lives in the grey areas.  His best friend gets caught up in a cult...

Anywho...  if you want to take a look here is the link.  It helped a couple people who have been involved in what we were.  The journal entries are based on my own experiences in TWI.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHB47Z3

***shameless self promotion now over, back to your regularly scheduled cult bashing***

Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh yeah.  "Spiritual probation."  Forgot about that.

 

(Chapter and verse, please?? :biglaugh:  :biglaugh:)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Speaking of spiritual probation - my brother and his wife were put on it because their house was too dirty. He told me they didn't have time to clean it because they were always going to meetings.  Anyway, they realized they were happier being away from TWI so they left for good.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

That's funny, Outie. 

Good for your bro and SiL.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2020 at 8:57 AM, JavaJane said:

no problem.  There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide.

All in all, I survived and am living well.  I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World.  Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was just the crazy made up world of TWI.  The world it is set in is modern day Midwestern US, but crawling with demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures.  The protagonist is a protector of humanity's free will who lives in the grey areas.  His best friend gets caught up in a cult...

Anywho...  if you want to take a look here is the link.  It helped a couple people who have been involved in what we were.  The journal entries are based on my own experiences in TWI.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHB47Z3

***shameless self promotion now over, back to your regularly scheduled cult bashing***

Java Jane, just bought your book.  Looks good.  You got some good reviews.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, outandabout said:

Java Jane, just bought your book.  Looks good.  You got some good reviews.

Thank you!  It has been an adventure for sure.  I wrote it with the idea of helping myself, and maybe in the process helping others.  Helping people who were in groups like TWI, and also helping others outside to understand that the people who fall for cults are not stupid or ignorant.  The rank and file of TWI were some of the best quality people I have ever known - but the belief system and top down control of the group ruined all of it.  The world could have been enriched 1000xs over by those people's kind hearts and abilities.  But we wasted them on a false cause.  I am going to get those years back by living the rest of them to the fullest.

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...