We may not have the raging hormones of teenagers but that doesn't stop everything being in perfect working order - the "warming up" process may take a little longer though! ;)-->
WE LIKE SEX. There are a few problems for us. The first is that we can't do what we did at 18 and still think we can. This causes frustration for the man. Disfunction comes in and generaly a guy needs a little help sometimes to complete the act.
If you are wanting to know the differance between what a guy at 50 verse at 20 wants well. The answer is as differant as men. My main wish is for my wife to still like sex. She doesnt. So I am a frustrated middle age man. My general wants and desires as far as the act and what I do are basiclly the same. The main change is that I try and satisfy my wife first because I know how limited I am today.
I hope this helps. Do a private topic if you want more specifics.
Have you tried speaking directly to your partner, Coolwaters? This isn't always the easiest measure to take, however, not all men are the same and so much depends on health conditions and communications between the people involved.
Expectations can cause great misundertandings and frustration.
I'm a 52 year old male, so I guess I qualify to participate in your survey. I cannot speak for the entire species of 50 somethings with outside plumbing but perhaps a few personal thoughts on the subject might be helpful to you.
Right now I am a divorced and unattached. In other words I ain't getting any right now. :-( I would like to think that I would meet my soulmate someday and that we just couldn't get enough of each other.
Anyway, here goes...I like my partner to make a big deal of what she likes about what she is getting from me sexually. If she has any criticisms, I would like those to be tactful and if at all possible be brought up after the sexual encounter. I would listen because if I am really in love with her then her pleasure is very, very important to me. (By the way, since sex is the most intimate thing two people can do, I choose only to do it with someone with whom I share a corresponding emotional and spiritual connection. Sex is sacred space to me. I'm sure a lot of my fellow males will have other thoughts on the matter. But for me, I want it to be with one person exclusively and with a view toward marriage.) I would like her to be the initiator of sex at least some of the time.
As for fantasies...how about if we agreed to meet at a bar beforehand and act out the following scenario. She would meet me at a bar where I had arrived ahead of time. She would sit down and start striking up a conversation with me, maybe around the second round. We would start off by talking to each other as if we just met i.e. job, hobbies, weather etc. and later she would start to give me signals like if she was starting to take interest which in turn would change to that she is getting turned on...then she couldnt wait to get me home and demands the check...(she pays with my credit card ofcourse.)...and we walk out arm in arm. Maybe we make back home, maybe we check into a hotel.
Ofcourse, next week it's my turn to reciprocate by her being the pick-upee.
Everybody is so great! The responses are funny and thoughtful and honest! Thank you so very much!
You see, I am almost 7 years younger than my hubs. When we met (I was 18 he was 25), we were perfectly matched sexually...in other words, we were both hot to trot. :D--> (Quite frankly, I wouldn't have had it any other way...and I let that be known...and he had no problem with it! :D--> )
BUT...
In the back of my mind I had this expectation that along about our late 40's/early 50's we'd slow down and get to the business of things we never found time to do because we were so busy with each other...if ya know what I mean. ;)--> (Our kids thought we were reincarnated rabbits. Tee hee.)
From what I gather, however, guys don't slow down in their thinking about or wanting sex.
How come? I don't get it. If sex is taking up at least a third of the day (between thinking about it, talking about, doing it, or wanting it), and work takes up about a third of the day, and sleeping takes up about a third of the day...
Well, I get pretty frustrated about all the other stuff in life that isn't been thought about, talked about, done or wanted to get done.
Ya know what I mean?
I truly expected that this time in our lives would be the time when all the plans we had to put off could actually be done.
Gee, I feel so "out there" now. Please won't a few other guys talk about their sexual interests and fantasies. It's like the recurring dream like we all have...naked in a room of clothed people for me.
Estrogen is the hormone supplied together with progesterone to allieviate problematic isues in menopausal women, but it is testosterone which regulates their sex drive, I believe.
There are products made for women which I am told work well but they are not estrogen based as far as I know.
Sometimes woman who say they don't like it have other issues going on, like physical or emotional exhaustion, general fatigue, poor diet and sometimes certain medications can interfere with both gender's.
I do know that once menopause is over....women generally regain their appreciation of it.
In reading your posts in this forum, Coolwaters, it sounds like you want your husband to allow you time to get things organized and it sounds like you want him to get to know you in different ways, besides the physical. Is that accurate?
Krysilis is correct. Maybe your wife should make an appointment with an endocrinologist to have all her hormone levels checked, especially testosterone. that is the key hormone for sex drive. Most women are much lower in that hormone naturally; some gals are luckier than others. the doctor can look at levels and then give a RX to help [add] some in balance with all the others.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
6
8
6
13
Popular Days
Dec 13
28
Dec 10
21
Dec 11
10
Dec 14
6
Top Posters In This Topic
excathedra 6 posts
reikilady 8 posts
oenophile 6 posts
CoolWaters 13 posts
Popular Days
Dec 13 2004
28 posts
Dec 10 2004
21 posts
Dec 11 2004
10 posts
Dec 14 2004
6 posts
CoolWaters
Oh, ladies...feel free to chime in here.
:D-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OnionEater
I am 55 years old and what I use to do all day now takes all day to do.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Trefor Heywood
We may not have the raging hormones of teenagers but that doesn't stop everything being in perfect working order - the "warming up" process may take a little longer though!
;)-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ex70sHouston
I'm about to turn 50 so here goes.
WE LIKE SEX. There are a few problems for us. The first is that we can't do what we did at 18 and still think we can. This causes frustration for the man. Disfunction comes in and generaly a guy needs a little help sometimes to complete the act.
If you are wanting to know the differance between what a guy at 50 verse at 20 wants well. The answer is as differant as men. My main wish is for my wife to still like sex. She doesnt. So I am a frustrated middle age man. My general wants and desires as far as the act and what I do are basiclly the same. The main change is that I try and satisfy my wife first because I know how limited I am today.
I hope this helps. Do a private topic if you want more specifics.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
I have found the coolest site for asking questions like this!
Ask Anything
Just in case you want to ask in another place as well.
;)--> It's totally anonymous!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
reikilady
Have you tried speaking directly to your partner, Coolwaters? This isn't always the easiest measure to take, however, not all men are the same and so much depends on health conditions and communications between the people involved.
Expectations can cause great misundertandings and frustration.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
From what I've heard -
40's - tri-weekly
50's - try weekly
70's - try weakly
Link to comment
Share on other sites
oenophile
I'm a 52 year old male, so I guess I qualify to participate in your survey. I cannot speak for the entire species of 50 somethings with outside plumbing but perhaps a few personal thoughts on the subject might be helpful to you.
Right now I am a divorced and unattached. In other words I ain't getting any right now. :-( I would like to think that I would meet my soulmate someday and that we just couldn't get enough of each other.
Anyway, here goes...I like my partner to make a big deal of what she likes about what she is getting from me sexually. If she has any criticisms, I would like those to be tactful and if at all possible be brought up after the sexual encounter. I would listen because if I am really in love with her then her pleasure is very, very important to me. (By the way, since sex is the most intimate thing two people can do, I choose only to do it with someone with whom I share a corresponding emotional and spiritual connection. Sex is sacred space to me. I'm sure a lot of my fellow males will have other thoughts on the matter. But for me, I want it to be with one person exclusively and with a view toward marriage.) I would like her to be the initiator of sex at least some of the time.
As for fantasies...how about if we agreed to meet at a bar beforehand and act out the following scenario. She would meet me at a bar where I had arrived ahead of time. She would sit down and start striking up a conversation with me, maybe around the second round. We would start off by talking to each other as if we just met i.e. job, hobbies, weather etc. and later she would start to give me signals like if she was starting to take interest which in turn would change to that she is getting turned on...then she couldnt wait to get me home and demands the check...(she pays with my credit card ofcourse.)...and we walk out arm in arm. Maybe we make back home, maybe we check into a hotel.
Ofcourse, next week it's my turn to reciprocate by her being the pick-upee.
Edited by oenophileLink to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
George Burns said that sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CoolWaters
Everybody is so great! The responses are funny and thoughtful and honest! Thank you so very much!
You see, I am almost 7 years younger than my hubs. When we met (I was 18 he was 25), we were perfectly matched sexually...in other words, we were both hot to trot.
:D--> (Quite frankly, I wouldn't have had it any other way...and I let that be known...and he had no problem with it! 
:D--> )
BUT...
In the back of my mind I had this expectation that along about our late 40's/early 50's we'd slow down and get to the business of things we never found time to do because we were so busy with each other...if ya know what I mean.
;)--> (Our kids thought we were reincarnated rabbits. Tee hee.)
From what I gather, however, guys don't slow down in their thinking about or wanting sex.
How come? I don't get it. If sex is taking up at least a third of the day (between thinking about it, talking about, doing it, or wanting it), and work takes up about a third of the day, and sleeping takes up about a third of the day...
Well, I get pretty frustrated about all the other stuff in life that isn't been thought about, talked about, done or wanted to get done.
Ya know what I mean?
I truly expected that this time in our lives would be the time when all the plans we had to put off could actually be done.
Sigh.
There's no hope, is there?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CoolWaters
Oh yeah...
I've talked to my hubs about this...
He gives me this hurt and unbelieving look and says, "But now we don't have to worry about the kids interrupting and we've got all this room..."
He says I don't understand men. I have to agree with him.
:D-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jim
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mstar1
Probably not-I'm 49 something, If I had my way I'd never leave the bed--except to eat once in awhile and go on vacation...
;)-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
oenophile
CW,
The other stuff can wait. Make love now.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
oenophile
Gee, I feel so "out there" now. Please won't a few other guys talk about their sexual interests and fantasies. It's like the recurring dream like we all have...naked in a room of clothed people for me.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CoolWaters
But he wants me to enjoy it, too. He's not happy with me writing my shopping list while he's doing what he wants to do...ya know?
Go figure.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CoolWaters
Oen, it's OK...I'm enjoying your nudity.
;)-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
krys
Estrogen is the hormone supplied together with progesterone to allieviate problematic isues in menopausal women, but it is testosterone which regulates their sex drive, I believe.
There are products made for women which I am told work well but they are not estrogen based as far as I know.
Sometimes woman who say they don't like it have other issues going on, like physical or emotional exhaustion, general fatigue, poor diet and sometimes certain medications can interfere with both gender's.
I do know that once menopause is over....women generally regain their appreciation of it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
markomalley
Business Week: Can Intrinsa Be a Viagra for Women?
Procter & Gamble may be first to win approval for a testosterone skin patch to boost female desire, especially for menopausal users
Hope the info in there provides what you're looking for CW.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheSongRemainsTheSame
What is your favorite body of water and describe it in three adjectives~~~
Link to comment
Share on other sites
reikilady
In reading your posts in this forum, Coolwaters, it sounds like you want your husband to allow you time to get things organized and it sounds like you want him to get to know you in different ways, besides the physical. Is that accurate?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rejoice
Krysilis is correct. Maybe your wife should make an appointment with an endocrinologist to have all her hormone levels checked, especially testosterone. that is the key hormone for sex drive. Most women are much lower in that hormone naturally; some gals are luckier than others. the doctor can look at levels and then give a RX to help [add] some in balance with all the others.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
CW, please check your private topics
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.