Yes, Wordwolf - I agree. I remember DM stating in some meeting that she never went to bed at night until EVERYTHING was in order in her home. Maybe she missed a little detail somewhere along the way? ...
It kinda reminds me of what we were taught about Job - obsessing over what he could not control completely.
Yes, Wordwolf - I agree. I remember DM stating in some meeting that she never went to bed at night until EVERYTHING was in order in her home. Maybe she missed a little detail somewhere along the way? ...
It kinda reminds me of what we were taught about Job - obsessing over what he could not control completely.
Very interesting comment on her part,
considering that ALMOST everything was in order at her home.
Let's see, furniture is orderly, everything is tidy, silverware in
all the little racks, children asnug in their beds,
husband boinking the young thing down the block.
I imagine it was easier to deal with that by spending her energy
stringing silverware rather than facing infidelity. If you're busy
enough, you don't have time to think much about premeditated sin
committed on a regular basis by someone who supposedly is teaching
Wow...that is thought provoking....controlling that which they CAN control...ie environment, people, brings to mind whited sepulchers..ya know forever polishing the pretty shiney outside, that forever houses death and decay inside...makes me feel kind of sorry for em.
I used to be the BIGGEST neat freak. I developed this habit before twi because I didn't think my mom kept a clean enough house. I would be embarrassed if someone came over and saw a messy house. I think it was engrained from my grandma. She was a spic an span kind of lady--house just right, excellent cook, great hostess. I admired her for all of that.
Joining twi just augmented that mentality for me in an extremely anal way. I remember living with a couple who were my TCs. She was a stay-home mom who was messy as all getup. She would clean and I would go back over things after her....I used to get reproved for that. But my pet peeve is seeing "crap" on the kitchen floor. I like to walk barefoot and NOT feel anything on my feet. It totally grosses me out.
The worst for me though was when I was on staff. Our rooms in Founders Hall were open to the world. We had no locks. I always feared that the man of gawd would come looking in my room to determine how spiritual I was. I made all kinds of judgments on people while I was there based simply how their rooms looked. Why wouldn't I expect someone to do it to me? It's a sick, sick thought process. And I still work my brain when I am in a dirty, smelly, or messy house. I constantly have to remind myself that there are no devil spirits lurking in the corners..... --> Were we hoodwinked or what??
Wafer, bless your heart, you would have a nervous breakdown at my house.
One time, I had spent three FULL days scrubbing top to bottom, the yard was manicured to perfection....hubby came home and said nothing....this was with 6 small children....n I finally burst out that I thought I deserved a pat on the back for all of my hard work....n HE said ...in a half joking tone...*well it`s about damn time*.
That did it, something snapped inside...all of the self impose bondage that Ihad imposed on myself through the years...
I said to him, (and I still think that this might have been inspiration) *Well good, you can thank that baby and her syblings* pointing at the three month old in the bouncy seat.
In answere to his questioning glance, I said * That baby has not been held or played with in three days...she was fed and changed and uncrimoniously plopped in her seat because Mom had to get the house up to snuff* Her brothers and sisters have been saddled with the responsibility of keeping her entertained, (which mattered little since Momma hasn`t been able to spare them any attention either except tp tear into them if they made any more work)*
He looked at that sweet 3 month old and just melted....he mumbled that he never wanted the kiddoes neglected...n I told him, *I only have so many hours...I can spen them on keeping your house up to your standard ot I can raise our children*
Anyway, that was the beginning of our freedom, I don`t look at the dishes in the sink, or the undone laundry, instead, I pat myself on the back for taking the kids fishing....
Whenever husband forgets himself and demands to know what I have done all week complaining that the house is a wreck, I tell him...I went to karate with the kids..visited a museum, had a picnic...in short, I made a lot of memories with our kids that they will never forget...what`d YOU do this week?
I haven't been able to really address this thread until now.....too painful, so I am going to do baby steps.
Every Tuesday, I go to a training class with my boss. The instructor basically teaches half baked imitations of Dave Bedard doing Christian Communications, or Bill Mays doing Dale Carnegie. I completely freeze up.....he might as well be sitting in front of me speaking polish!
I always drive myself home from the training sessions saying "PEOPLE DONT CARE WHAT YOU KNOW UNTIL THEY KNOW YOU CARE."
Secondly, we hired another girl in the office. The other day, I went into the bathroom and she had folded the toilet paper in "hotel folds" just like they did in the OSC.
I flipped out. I went right over to her desk and told her under no circumstances was she ever to do that again!!!!!!
quote:Anyway, that was the beginning of our freedom, I don`t look at the dishes in the sink, or the undone laundry, instead, I pat myself on the back for taking the kids fishing....
Whenever husband forgets himself and demands to know what I have done all week complaining that the house is a wreck, I tell him...I went to karate with the kids..visited a museum, had a picnic...in short, I made a lot of memories with our kids that they will never forget...what`d YOU do this week?
Oh...making memories...that is awesome Rascal! Your kids will always remember the good times they had with you, and that is irreplaceable. I love the quote someone gave from Erma Bombeck. I just hope when I have kids that I will relax and enjoy them. That will be my goal. I'll just have to get some slippers to wear instead of going barefoot.... :D--> OR hubby can clean the floor! He would do it in a heartbeat! I love that about him! And he wouldn't say a word or have a bad thought about doing it.
Lol .. thanks wafer, there IS compromise...The kiddoes and I allow mark his puter desk and corner of the room to keep in perfect order.....he has his one little corner of peace..of *decency and order* poor guy.
I have told him repeatedly, that *the DAY that everything in our home is perfectly in order, and he returns from work to find nothing broken.... we will discover how tragically lonely we are, because it can only mean that the children have grown up and left us*
I think we were trained and groomed to become OCD. I was a total slob and not entirely unhappy with myself :D--> but felt compelled to become rather OCD about neatness, cleanliness and such lest the devil spirits get ahold of my life.
I'm not as anal anymore, but I do make the bed up most mornings. If I don't get to it I no longer beat myself up about it or worry about getting in trouble when I get home.
One time I expressed my exasperation and stress with having to keep everything spotless and clean up to "hq standards" in our house. My spouse laughed and asked why it bothered me so much since I never did get things to THAT standard.... (I never did actually, but I didn't even get credit for what I did do, which was far beyond what I had done in the past.)
The thing that makes some (most) of these habits "stupid habits" is that ol' question that is now cliche to most of us former Wayfers,
"WHAT'S THE PROFIT?!"
I mean, is it more important that I dry out my sink every time I use it or spend the time playing with my kid?
Will the world stop turning if I don't leave my porch light on until 10 PM to make my house look "welcoming"?
I mean - let's get real!
TWI leader**** wanted everyone below them to look, think and act like them. Right down to the stupid habits. Gawd help you if you were different - as long as you could fit in, you were accepted - never mind your heart or love for God.
How to spot TWI leaders (or wannabes):
Men: Very short hair, goatee, makes a sniffing noise when pushing glasses up (if he wears glasses), golf (pique) shirt for casual outings, stiff/startched button-down collar shirts for more formal outings, Dockers pants, extra-shiny shoes, tie meets top of belt buckle, rectangular tin of Altoids in the pocket, briefcase stocked with every office supply you'll never really need, Dayplanner (Franklin Covey, if he's WC), chunky watch with a luminated dial, Stepford-Wayfer wife cooing at him, if married. He gets extra points if he has an electronic Bible or PDA.
Women: Last-year's or even last decade's hair style (frosted hair is a big tip-off), fake smile, a little bit too much make up - or NONE AT ALL (the granola-woman look), holy spirit necklace, BIG button earrings, cardigan sweater over shoulders, fake smile, below-the-knee skirt (if married), low heels or flat conservative dress shoes, briefcase (snake skin or other more feminine material), fake smile, and three paces behind her husband. She gets extra points if she had a nice chest, isn't over weight, doesn't ask questions, and has a fake smile.
quote:Anyway, that was the beginning of our freedom, I don't look at the dishes in the sink, or the undone laundry, instead, I pat myself on the back for taking the kids fishing....
how beautiful
i bought a plaque when i was pregnant and would always look at it after i had my baby
cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow
for babies grow up
we've learned to our sorrow
so quiet down cobwebs
dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep
he's 10 now and we have the 2 dogs, the hamster and the bird (rascal) and the house looks like it
but i do have my dyson animal which i adore whether i use it or not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
LOL, ex! Me too! It's a good thing it's so darn strong since it has A LOT to pick up when I do get around letting the purple animal loose! :D-->
Brings me back to Erma Bombeck & having friends over even if the house isn't spotless and it's only going to be macaroni & cheese for dinner. It's the company & quality of life I enjoy - not the fact that my house is "spiritually & physically clean". Those darn devil spirits are probably stuck in the dirt & can't get out anyway. ;)-->
It is ok to play with the babies instead of freaking out over the messes being made.
In fact the mess is sometimes good for babies. There is evidence that kids who are exposed to pets and other "messes" at an early age tend to have less asthma.
My son was diagnosed with Chron's disease (a chronic inflamation of the intestines) when he was 15. The gastrointerologist said that they don't know what causes the disease, but they do know it's not prevalent in countries where kids grow up playing in the dirt.
Look around nature - it's not very "clean" or "neat". It's just beautiful and cool.
He gets extra points if he has an electronic Bible or PDA.
Did they really let them have electronic stuff? I left in the mid 80's. But not before a wayfer figured out how to get the whole bible on a single floppy disk or some such technological miracle when "personal computer" meant an Apple II. I thought that would be an amazing tool to help research and move "the word". But they were more interested in that guy using his computer to program lights and music at the fountain.
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WordWolf
Ever wonder if the obsession with cleanliness at twi started
as the result of someone with a guilty conscience struggling
to physically clean what was a moral filthiness?
Lady Macbeth had a similar problem trying to wash off the
bloodstains after committing murder....
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Microbe
Yes, Wordwolf - I agree. I remember DM stating in some meeting that she never went to bed at night until EVERYTHING was in order in her home. Maybe she missed a little detail somewhere along the way? ...
It kinda reminds me of what we were taught about Job - obsessing over what he could not control completely.
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excathedra
Lady Macbeth Lady Martindale etc. good point
:)-->
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WordWolf
Very interesting comment on her part,
considering that ALMOST everything was in order at her home.
Let's see, furniture is orderly, everything is tidy, silverware in
all the little racks, children asnug in their beds,
husband boinking the young thing down the block.
I imagine it was easier to deal with that by spending her energy
stringing silverware rather than facing infidelity. If you're busy
enough, you don't have time to think much about premeditated sin
committed on a regular basis by someone who supposedly is teaching
others to AVOID sin.
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rascal
Wow...that is thought provoking....controlling that which they CAN control...ie environment, people, brings to mind whited sepulchers..ya know forever polishing the pretty shiney outside, that forever houses death and decay inside...makes me feel kind of sorry for em.
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Nottawayfer
I used to be the BIGGEST neat freak. I developed this habit before twi because I didn't think my mom kept a clean enough house. I would be embarrassed if someone came over and saw a messy house. I think it was engrained from my grandma. She was a spic an span kind of lady--house just right, excellent cook, great hostess. I admired her for all of that.
Joining twi just augmented that mentality for me in an extremely anal way. I remember living with a couple who were my TCs. She was a stay-home mom who was messy as all getup. She would clean and I would go back over things after her....I used to get reproved for that. But my pet peeve is seeing "crap" on the kitchen floor. I like to walk barefoot and NOT feel anything on my feet. It totally grosses me out.
The worst for me though was when I was on staff. Our rooms in Founders Hall were open to the world. We had no locks. I always feared that the man of gawd would come looking in my room to determine how spiritual I was. I made all kinds of judgments on people while I was there based simply how their rooms looked. Why wouldn't I expect someone to do it to me? It's a sick, sick thought process. And I still work my brain when I am in a dirty, smelly, or messy house. I constantly have to remind myself that there are no devil spirits lurking in the corners.....
--> Were we hoodwinked or what??
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rascal
Wafer, bless your heart, you would have a nervous breakdown at my house.
One time, I had spent three FULL days scrubbing top to bottom, the yard was manicured to perfection....hubby came home and said nothing....this was with 6 small children....n I finally burst out that I thought I deserved a pat on the back for all of my hard work....n HE said ...in a half joking tone...*well it`s about damn time*.
That did it, something snapped inside...all of the self impose bondage that Ihad imposed on myself through the years...
I said to him, (and I still think that this might have been inspiration) *Well good, you can thank that baby and her syblings* pointing at the three month old in the bouncy seat.
In answere to his questioning glance, I said * That baby has not been held or played with in three days...she was fed and changed and uncrimoniously plopped in her seat because Mom had to get the house up to snuff* Her brothers and sisters have been saddled with the responsibility of keeping her entertained, (which mattered little since Momma hasn`t been able to spare them any attention either except tp tear into them if they made any more work)*
He looked at that sweet 3 month old and just melted....he mumbled that he never wanted the kiddoes neglected...n I told him, *I only have so many hours...I can spen them on keeping your house up to your standard ot I can raise our children*
Anyway, that was the beginning of our freedom, I don`t look at the dishes in the sink, or the undone laundry, instead, I pat myself on the back for taking the kids fishing....
Whenever husband forgets himself and demands to know what I have done all week complaining that the house is a wreck, I tell him...I went to karate with the kids..visited a museum, had a picnic...in short, I made a lot of memories with our kids that they will never forget...what`d YOU do this week?
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mj412
this is awful I suppose.
I was very very tidy with small children at home and working full time while in twi .
now I don't care what people think to much .
But it is a poor witness and it does seem like you do not care about others if you can not clean up the area you live in.
everyone is more relaxed when the place is organized i admit that even if I cant accomplish it .
but devil spirits can stay and people can be critical I frankly have better things to concern myself with now.
thank God.
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Radar OReilly
I haven't been able to really address this thread until now.....too painful, so I am going to do baby steps.
Every Tuesday, I go to a training class with my boss. The instructor basically teaches half baked imitations of Dave Bedard doing Christian Communications, or Bill Mays doing Dale Carnegie. I completely freeze up.....he might as well be sitting in front of me speaking polish!
I always drive myself home from the training sessions saying "PEOPLE DONT CARE WHAT YOU KNOW UNTIL THEY KNOW YOU CARE."
Secondly, we hired another girl in the office. The other day, I went into the bathroom and she had folded the toilet paper in "hotel folds" just like they did in the OSC.
I flipped out. I went right over to her desk and told her under no circumstances was she ever to do that again!!!!!!
This thread is too hard!!!
Radar
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Nottawayfer
Oh...making memories...that is awesome Rascal! Your kids will always remember the good times they had with you, and that is irreplaceable. I love the quote someone gave from Erma Bombeck. I just hope when I have kids that I will relax and enjoy them. That will be my goal. I'll just have to get some slippers to wear instead of going barefoot....
:D--> OR hubby can clean the floor! He would do it in a heartbeat! I love that about him! And he wouldn't say a word or have a bad thought about doing it.
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rascal
Lol .. thanks wafer, there IS compromise...The kiddoes and I allow mark his puter desk and corner of the room to keep in perfect order.....he has his one little corner of peace..of *decency and order* poor guy.
I have told him repeatedly, that *the DAY that everything in our home is perfectly in order, and he returns from work to find nothing broken.... we will discover how tragically lonely we are, because it can only mean that the children have grown up and left us*
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Belle
I think we were trained and groomed to become OCD. I was a total slob and not entirely unhappy with myself
:D--> but felt compelled to become rather OCD about neatness, cleanliness and such lest the devil spirits get ahold of my life.
I'm not as anal anymore, but I do make the bed up most mornings. If I don't get to it I no longer beat myself up about it or worry about getting in trouble when I get home.
One time I expressed my exasperation and stress with having to keep everything spotless and clean up to "hq standards" in our house. My spouse laughed and asked why it bothered me so much since I never did get things to THAT standard....
(I never did actually, but I didn't even get credit for what I did do, which was far beyond what I had done in the past.)
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WhiteDove
Cool
By the way you are aware that your smilies are unsymmetrical arn't you please fix them!!!
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CoolWaters
You fix 'em if it bothers you so much!
(CoolWaters did good not listening no more!)
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WhiteDove
Much better now they are complete the six was devilish you know!
:D-->
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CoolWaters
Ah! I had forgotten about The Way International's form of Numerology!
I still can't believe that The Way International taught Numerology while condemning the same thing in others.
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Belle
That's why we had to have 3 mints on the mandatory mint tray.
:D--> For the completely absurd teaching we were about to receive.
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ChasUFarley
The thing that makes some (most) of these habits "stupid habits" is that ol' question that is now cliche to most of us former Wayfers,
"WHAT'S THE PROFIT?!"
I mean, is it more important that I dry out my sink every time I use it or spend the time playing with my kid?
Will the world stop turning if I don't leave my porch light on until 10 PM to make my house look "welcoming"?
I mean - let's get real!
TWI leader**** wanted everyone below them to look, think and act like them. Right down to the stupid habits. Gawd help you if you were different - as long as you could fit in, you were accepted - never mind your heart or love for God.
How to spot TWI leaders (or wannabes):
Men: Very short hair, goatee, makes a sniffing noise when pushing glasses up (if he wears glasses), golf (pique) shirt for casual outings, stiff/startched button-down collar shirts for more formal outings, Dockers pants, extra-shiny shoes, tie meets top of belt buckle, rectangular tin of Altoids in the pocket, briefcase stocked with every office supply you'll never really need, Dayplanner (Franklin Covey, if he's WC), chunky watch with a luminated dial, Stepford-Wayfer wife cooing at him, if married. He gets extra points if he has an electronic Bible or PDA.
Women: Last-year's or even last decade's hair style (frosted hair is a big tip-off), fake smile, a little bit too much make up - or NONE AT ALL (the granola-woman look), holy spirit necklace, BIG button earrings, cardigan sweater over shoulders, fake smile, below-the-knee skirt (if married), low heels or flat conservative dress shoes, briefcase (snake skin or other more feminine material), fake smile, and three paces behind her husband. She gets extra points if she had a nice chest, isn't over weight, doesn't ask questions, and has a fake smile.
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Belle
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frank123lol
Getting up so damn early to speak in tougnes
and read the bible when what I really needed was some sleep
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excathedra
chas that was hysterical
--
how beautifuli bought a plaque when i was pregnant and would always look at it after i had my baby
cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow
for babies grow up
we've learned to our sorrow
so quiet down cobwebs
dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep
he's 10 now and we have the 2 dogs, the hamster and the bird (rascal) and the house looks like it
but i do have my dyson animal which i adore whether i use it or not ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Belle
LOL, ex! Me too! It's a good thing it's so darn strong since it has A LOT to pick up when I do get around letting the purple animal loose!
:D-->
Brings me back to Erma Bombeck & having friends over even if the house isn't spotless and it's only going to be macaroni & cheese for dinner. It's the company & quality of life I enjoy - not the fact that my house is "spiritually & physically clean". Those darn devil spirits are probably stuck in the dirt & can't get out anyway.
;)-->
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My3Cents
In fact the mess is sometimes good for babies. There is evidence that kids who are exposed to pets and other "messes" at an early age tend to have less asthma.
My son was diagnosed with Chron's disease (a chronic inflamation of the intestines) when he was 15. The gastrointerologist said that they don't know what causes the disease, but they do know it's not prevalent in countries where kids grow up playing in the dirt.
Look around nature - it's not very "clean" or "neat". It's just beautiful and cool.
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My3Cents
Did they really let them have electronic stuff? I left in the mid 80's. But not before a wayfer figured out how to get the whole bible on a single floppy disk or some such technological miracle when "personal computer" meant an Apple II. I thought that would be an amazing tool to help research and move "the word". But they were more interested in that guy using his computer to program lights and music at the fountain.
I bet Craig never used a PDA, did he?
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