What makes Chiristians think peole want "deliverence" from who they are? I do not get that at all .
Im a chirstian who smokes maybe I do not want deliverence from this filthy habit how is it another can tell me I should or should not want to change?
I just do not see how people can be any different than who they are and that is mostly what they believe to be right for them .
anything eles is a sales job. or an out right lie.
twi taught christians to sell different ideals and thought patterns in what they considered wrong or right for all people because of a doctrine they sold .
God is bigger than that, He loves each of His children and the Lord came to sinners of which we all happen to be . Jesus Christ delivers those who ask to be delivered in my opinion it is satan himself who forces his will on others.
Jesus Christ is one who brings me peace not pointing and strife, which is what happens when someone tells another what is right or wrong for their life.
no one is right , except God and no one is good except Jesus Christ why do people need to fuss at one another instead of loving one another?
I know what is right for my life is not what is going to work in anothers , my standard , may be different, but until the Lord himself decides what is truly right or wrong for each of us and we chose to listen ,or not, are we not all in the same boat?
I think it comes down to christians thinking those who do not believe in their God are worse or evil or less than themselves and for me that is about as anti- loving they can get. it is no wonder so many want any part of it.
I do not believe God believes that theory as God is Love .
I haven’t posted at GSC in a long time, although, I still lurk from time to time. Your post brought me out. I wanted you to know that I really admire your courage. It is not easy talking about something that is so personal. Especially when you know, you will be judged by doing so. Such is life, huh? Can’t stop other people from thinking what they want, can we? But what they think is not important. What is important is what we think about ourselves.
I’m sorry you never had a chance to entrust your sister with the real you. From what little you wrote about her, she sounds like she was a remarkable woman. For whatever reason, I have no doubt, that she would embrace you for your heart, comfort you in your pain, and let you know she loves you just the way you are.
Keep your courage, guard your heart, and do no harm. Your sister would be proud.
Matters more urgent have kept me away, however, I am back.
Thank you one & all who took the time to respond to my post - it will take a little time to go through the whole topic and address every response. That said:
Hope,
Thank you for responding! Yes it is unfortunate you won't be able to attend Steve & Cindy's wedding, however, some the pictures, as I understand it, will be posted here. (For everyone's info, Hope and I were WOWs on Long Island in '82-'83.)
I’m reading these in reverse order, much like an Outlook email message that has gone through numerous generations. Here goes…
Imbus,
Thank you for your offer! If I had a boyfriend, I would seriously consider taking you up on your offer. I’d bring along freshly baked Ghirardelli double chocolate brownies. And a nice bottle of Chianti or Merlot.
Hope (once again),
When we were WOWs, you were one of the very few people with whom I could feel comfortable. But with the WOW family I was in, you can understand why I chose not to “come out” then. For one thing, I was still in full-tilt-boogie denial. And if you recall, life was rather chaotic at my place. (I will not get into character assassination of my WOW brothers, as much as it may be deserved – much time has passed, and there have been some tragedies there – people change, they grow, they learn & mature. Hopefully that is the case with them. I hope it is with me.) I valued our friendship then, as well as after the WOW field. Resurrecting that friendship now would be a good thing if you are not adverse to that.
Shelly (aka JessieJoe),
You wrote, “Keep your courage, guard your heart, and do no harm.” I try to live up to that.
Perhaps my sister would be proud of me, but not nearly as proud as I am of her – a single mom raising 4 children. She was the definition of “courageous.” Thank you for your kind words.
Dot Matrix,
Congratulations on cresting the 5k mark!
I am glad I left TWI, but even more, I’m thankful to have survived this long to be thankful. There are many good and honorable people who have not.
Year2027 (aka Roy),
Your shortcomings are not necessarily wrong – they are signs of your humanity. You wrote, “The only person that can help me with my sins is me and the only person who can heal my heart is God.” Live by those words and give yourself a break. We didn’t get salvation because we deserved it, we got salvation because we needed it.
MJ412,
Thank you!
What is right for you is not necessarily right for someone else, and that’s my whole point. When the Gathering happens, that’s when all the cards will be turned up, no more bets, no more raises.
I agree with you, we are all in the same boat.
Shellon,
I apologize for my absence. I was back last night!
Jezusfreaky (Colleen),
Show me to that back booth! And can the waitress get me a toasted bagel with a hot cup of coffee please?
Oenophile,
Thank you very much for your unconditional friendship! I will address Dartanian’s post later on. And, as the GSCafe WineKeeper, I have a winery you might want to add to your list – I was at the Niebaum-Coppola winery last summer. Exceptional variety of wines, and as close as you can get to organic! Visit there when you get the opportunity.
MarkedAndAvoided,
I understand your sentiments. However, studies (a LOT of them) indicate that humans are not the only species in which homosexuality exists. It is not prevalent, but, like red hair or left-handedness, it is present.
I did not choose to be gay. Please understand that.
Hey Rascal,
I think I understand where you’re coming from. I witnessed a lot of situations within TWI where women were treated as second-class citizens, as something not much better than slaves, but at the time, there was not a whole lot I could do about it. The consensus, by a long shot, was against me.
Congratulations on being YOU!!! May you continue to grow and thrive!!!
Watered Garden,
Thank you very much! Cancer does suck, BIG time. And I don’t believe it’s a spirit at all. Rather, it’s one result of how we civilized humans abuse our metabolisms. Over time, that catches up with you. (Daryl wrote, as he took another drag from his cigarette…)
Don’tFenceMeIn,
It was not easy to write the original post. It was not easy to “come out” when I did. It’s still not easy. And it’s not easy knowing I can’t call my sister and talk to her about it.
“Coming out” is not an event. It is a process. And for some, it can last a lifetime.
Thank you for your wishes!
Dovey,
No, I’m not an ET (although some of my co-workers might disagree – LOL!)
I’m sorry about the loss of your brother! My only hope is that you are dealing with it in a way that would make him proud of you. And of that I have little doubt. Thank you for your reply!!!
2strange,
Thank you for your reply. I have some understanding about miscarriages, and I know just a little of the pain you have gone through. I wish I could give you a hug for the same reason! I will look up the book you recommended. (I tend to haunt bookstores anyway!)
I might have met Dennis Ryan, but to be honest, it doesn’t ring a bell. During the production of “God’s Royal Household,” I did get to work with a girl who was a Radio City Rockette. She was as much of a sweetheart as she was beautiful! (FYI to all, you don’t have to be straight to know what a pretty lady looks like – knowing what “pretty” is, is part of the “gay resume!)
Karmicdebt,
You don’t see how Romans pertains to me. Thank you. Neither do I. Here’s a nutshell:
To begin with, the Romans story deals with someone who is an adult, someone who is capable & qualified to make his/her own life decisions. Further, the individual described is one who already has a working, experiential (“gnosko”) knowledge of God, something that happens over a respectable period of time. Then, after all this, this person decides, “I don’t want to worship this deity any more, I want to go after idols.” Then, God “allows” the spirit of homosexuality to “overtake” this adult individual who has already known God on a personal level. Then that person “becomes” a homosexual.
I’ve known that I was gay long before I had a pubic hair I could call my own, long before being able or legally competent, in a Biblical sense, to call myself an adult, decades before I knew anything conclusive or comprehensive about God.
So how did this happen? I don’t know. It just did. You don’t choose your sexual orientation. It chooses you.
Dartanian3m,
Thank you for your sentiments concerning my sister. I appreciate that very much.
Since “coming out,” I would like to think that I’ve grown up somewhat. With people, that happens. I no longer “blame” God for my sexual orientation. I just don’t buy what the Bible says about it, specifically in Romans. (See my response to Karnicdebt, above.)
Had I been given the choice of my sexual orientation, in the past, there is no question that I would have chosen to be straight, no debate there. However, people change, as do their opinions.
I am gay either as a part of the design God originally laid out, or I am gay because of some genetic “thing” that happened while I was sill in Ellen Lamkey’s womb, or, it was the result of galactic chance. I don’t have the answer.
I DO know conclusively that I did NOT choose it. So who’s fault is it? Not mine. So please don’t tell me I chose to be gay. Whoever made that decision did not include me in the debate.
Sudo,
“A wise man learns from his mistakes.”
I’d like to think I have learned that much! Thank you!!!
NotinKansasanymore,
Thank you very much for your sentiments! I’m alone, but I don’t confuse that with lonely. If & when I find “Mr. Right,” I will be the first one to SHOUT it from the rooftops!!!
Excathedra,
Your message humbles me! Thank you!
I am not currently in contact with any of her children. For one thing, I’m not sure if they would accept me concerning this “revelation.” That aside, I wish them all well.
My parents are deceased. My dad died one year and one month after my mom died, and I found out about my dad while I was on the WOW field, on my birthday. It was a bit of a shock, considering where I was and what I was trying to accomplish.
Cknapp3 (aka Chuck),
Thanks for your gutsy reply! I could sit down and have a beer with you! (As with most everyone at the Grease Spot Caf?
And hey, I don’t need no steenkin’ crown either! I don’t usually wear hats anyway!!!
Rocky!
Fellow USAF!!! Vietnam era!!! Thank you for your post!
I do have friends & support where I live & work, thank you! My brothers know about me, and all they are concerned about is my safety! I tell them that I “play safe” when I play!
I am very sorry about your brother – with my sister, I sometimes feel as though I have not really grieved adequately – at the cemetery, I didn’t cry – I was just completely ....ed. Someone this wise, brilliant, compassionate, wonderful, beautiful and gifted, being buried under soil.
Like I said, I was ....ed.
Tom Strange,
I’m glad to meet you too! Please pass me a snow cone. Strawberry or blackberry flavored, if you don’t mind!
TheInvisibleDan,
I am gratified that you enjoyed reading my story. Thank you!
Trefor Heywood,
Thank you! I’m relieved that someone else has come to the same conclusions as I have!
Be well, safe & prosperous!
TheHighWay,
May your journey here be as prosperous and wonderful as well!
BackForty,
Thank you for your sentiments about my sister! And I too am glad we are not under that dark, deep, oppressive veil!!!
Radar,
Thank you for your response! I will see you at Cindy & Steve’s wedding!!!
And there I will give you a big hug!!!
Bowtwi,
I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, even if it’s at Starbucks!!! (Personally, I prefer Peet’s Arabian Mocha Java, it is the BEST!!!)
Chinson,
My hat is off to you & Steve. And please include a proper gentleman’s bow.
You two have welcomed me into your home knowing not much more about me than my name. (OK, Steve knew me back in the 80’s, but really only peripherally.) I’ve been in your home, played basketball with your youngest son, attempted to assist one of your daughters with her homework, sat at your table and broken bread with you.
And you have graciously invited me to be the photographer of your blessed wedding.
I am the most of all honored.
For those of you who have not met Cindy & Steve, they are among the most honest, decent, down to earth, sweetest people I have ever met. (And I wish to include Jessica, Kat, Joshua, Zachary, Star (the cat,) the other cats (who’s names I forget, please forgive me,) and the friends I have met at their dinner table.
I can only hope that my cameras will do them justice this Saturday.
Signing off for now – (but I suspect I will be back!)
Daryl thank you for your candid (and restrained) response to those folk who prefer a closed minded approach to life, you were kind to do so.
Dartie ol gal...
I do believe I have something better to offer Daryl and others sinners such as ourselves and that is to simply love God with our whole being and our neighbors as ourselves.
Not a difficult concept to grasp but sometimes a difficult one to put into practice when one has recently exited a cult that reveled in do as I say and not as I do actions. I wish you good speed on your journey and much healing along the way...
hmmm...I must have missed the part where Daryl asked our opinion about anything that he does.
Of course some folks feel compelled to offer their opinion, whether asked or not.
Daryl, we shared a table at the wedding last weekend, and I found you to be an extremely personable guy and fun to be around. Susie thought you were great too! Thanks for sharing your story here in this forum.
Cecilia and Moon, darling....and, of course Geordi and Data (the iquanas), Jack and Danny (the snakes), and the various other lizards, hermit crabs, and fish.....
No matter how many beings we have in our home... we always and continually consider it an honor for you to be in our home, Daryl. You are one of the finest men we've ever met and consider ourselves blessed whenever you visit.
So...this weekend??? We brought spices from Jamaica!!!!!! Can ya come????
Daryl, Having met you I can say you truly are a wonderful human being and one that is quite considerate of others and I finally got around to reading your story here and I must say I am too glad you are out of the closet and that process as you call it has begun and glad too that I got to meet you at the wedding and consider you a friend too or at least a friend of the heart. You sister too must have been a gem ! See ya around bro !
I am glad you came out. Confession is the first step to wholeness. I don't know where you'll end up, but at least you got honest on the outside to match up with what God already knew on the inside.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister. It takes a lot of guts to be honest with people when you know that there's a good chance that they may change how they feel about you.
I agree that you did not choose to be gay you just are. I'm bisexual, always have been always will be. I was first attracted to at the same point in life that I waws attracted to boys. When other girls played doctor with boys I played doctor with either. This was long before anyone ever told me anything about sexual orientation. At some point I was told that it was wrong. So I tryed to change, I tried so hard that I managed to get into denial. Was I changed? No, I just felt guilt and denial. I missed out on soo much because of fear of what my family would think.
About 3 years ago I finally came to terms with myself. I quit being in denial. It was quite a transition,in the end my whole life made more sence. I first came out to my fiance, he was thrilled. It actually brings us closer. We love checking out the same wemon.
Then I came out to a few close female friends. I was shocked to find out that two of the three of them were bi also. And the third one is only into being with guys but looking at wemon.
Last year I came out to my parents and older bro. They took it much better than I expected. My mother is still an innie. I'm pretty sure she hasn't bragged about that to her fc.
Thank you for coming out! Reading your post finally gave me the courage to come out here as well. I think I saved the hardest places for last. I know the joy of being myself from where I have come out. I only wish I had the courage to stop hiding from my coworkers.
I've learned to love who I am. I wouldn't change it for the world. Not that I haven't tried. But I wouldn't try again.
I'm glad that you've begun to accept yourself and hopefully realize that (all religious views aside) you are who you are and there's a reason for that, wether we understand it or not.
Thank you for your response, and thank you very much for your sentiments concerning my sister.
As for having a lot of guts to “come out,” it wasn’t guts, really, I was just tired of living a lie. That said, I salute you for coming out as well. Coming out can be unnerving, and just downright scary. When I came out to my 2 brothers, they accepted me for who I am, and our relationship, if it has changed at all, is now for the better.
I understand your misgivings about coming out to coworkers. I will admit that I am out to some but not all where I work. However I’m at a point in life where, if a coworker asks me if I’m gay, I would not deny it. What would be the point of that? Perpetuation of the lie from which I have finally managed to escape?
You wrote: “Thank you for coming out!” I say the same to you!
I have learned to love who I am. I am human, and therefore imperfect, but hey, aren’t we all?
You are now, as I am, (to paraphrase you & Rev. Martin Luther King,) “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we’re free at last!”
Exway; you are blessed to live honestly. I never understood the "choice" argument. If that were true, than all of us could simply choose to change. When we say, "No way could I do that" we need to understand that "no way can you do that" either. It is the epitome of arrogance to think we have all the answers. Life has many shades of gray that we have no answers to, and it's not the so-called lemons we are given, it's how we deal and live with them honestly. None of us knows why we are who we are---we just are.
Within the gay community, people are as diverse as anyone else. When there is simplicity and balance and honesty, they live quite well. Then there are others [just like in the straight community] who seem to have a need to be "in your face" with their life---those are the ones I am affended by only because of their attitude. I've often wondered that if we just were willing to agree to disagree, they might not feel so compelled to put a stake in the ground.
I have family members who are gay. They've chosen to live monagamously and not flaunt anything. They are decent, loving and caring humans who only ask that in return. It is a waste of energy to do otherwise.
I have utmost respect for your honesty. I have to ask---are you still a follower of the Lord regardless? So many gay people seem to think they cannot be.
I think the homosexuality issue needs study. The Bible says what it says.
I am really sorry for the loss of your sister, Daryl. I truly am. I really believe she will be with God.
While I disagree with homosexuality or gayness, it is more prudent for me to reserve judgment on that until I learn more about it. I think God does the judging. I've been doing some research on, I hate to say it, hermaphrodites, someone born with both sexes, and it turns out that they have chromosomes that have a mixture of XY, not XX or YY to make them male or female. I am wondering if a lot of people, while having XX or YY chromosomes in their bodies, may have been born with minds that have XY programming instead of XX or YY. Those that study genetics help me. I got this off the Discovery channel.
Anyway, the point is, regardless of what Daryl's sexuality is, may God Bless him and his sister. I may not be a gay advocate, but I am trying to understand and keep scripture at the same time.
Maybe that's what God wants us to do. I don't know.
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oenophile
Why can't dartanian accept daryl's statement that he did not choose to be gay, he just is. I suppose that would cause her to re-evaluate her dogma.
Personally approves the wine list.
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oenophile
oh by the way daryl...i honor you for your courage and extend to you my friendship without reservation or conditions.
Perhaps love is really all we need.
Personally approves the wine list.
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jezusfreaky
Daryl...
Welcome to the 'ol greasy spoon.
There's a seat here in the back booth just waitin' for ya!
With love...
-Colleen
Love y'all,
-Colleen
GO VOLS!!
''...show a little faith, there's magic in the night, you ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright, oh, and that's alright with me...''
-Bruce Springsteen
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Shellon
missing you in the chat room daryl
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mj412
What makes Chiristians think peole want "deliverence" from who they are? I do not get that at all .
Im a chirstian who smokes maybe I do not want deliverence from this filthy habit how is it another can tell me I should or should not want to change?
I just do not see how people can be any different than who they are and that is mostly what they believe to be right for them .
anything eles is a sales job. or an out right lie.
twi taught christians to sell different ideals and thought patterns in what they considered wrong or right for all people because of a doctrine they sold .
God is bigger than that, He loves each of His children and the Lord came to sinners of which we all happen to be . Jesus Christ delivers those who ask to be delivered in my opinion it is satan himself who forces his will on others.
Jesus Christ is one who brings me peace not pointing and strife, which is what happens when someone tells another what is right or wrong for their life.
no one is right , except God and no one is good except Jesus Christ why do people need to fuss at one another instead of loving one another?
I know what is right for my life is not what is going to work in anothers , my standard , may be different, but until the Lord himself decides what is truly right or wrong for each of us and we chose to listen ,or not, are we not all in the same boat?
I think it comes down to christians thinking those who do not believe in their God are worse or evil or less than themselves and for me that is about as anti- loving they can get. it is no wonder so many want any part of it.
I do not believe God believes that theory as God is Love .
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year2027
Hi Ex Way Daryl
I did enjoy reading your story and hope the best for you
Now I pray for you in all ways
But as to your shortcoming in the flesh for I am sure we are have one because I can tell you if I see a movie with a nude girl on it I look
You see its just a flesh thing and even since I believe it is wrong
I all so believe my many shortcoming are wrong
It like being fat I once believe it did not matter if I was fat but now I know when I put food above God I worshiping the god of food
Now I am still fat but I lose a few pounds but still am 290 pounds at six foot tall I need to lose about 100 pounds
Will I do it only time will tell
So I say live love because it when I deside to live love no matter what others said I have went from 330 pounds to 290 pounds
The only person that can help me with my sins is me and the only person who can heal my heart is God
I hope my words were not hard but loving because I can never understand all about the shoes you walk in but I only try to sent my love
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Dot Matrix
Daryl
Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you left TWI and I hope you are happy.
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Shelly
Hi Daryl,
I haven’t posted at GSC in a long time, although, I still lurk from time to time. Your post brought me out. I wanted you to know that I really admire your courage. It is not easy talking about something that is so personal. Especially when you know, you will be judged by doing so. Such is life, huh? Can’t stop other people from thinking what they want, can we? But what they think is not important. What is important is what we think about ourselves.
I’m sorry you never had a chance to entrust your sister with the real you. From what little you wrote about her, she sounds like she was a remarkable woman. For whatever reason, I have no doubt, that she would embrace you for your heart, comfort you in your pain, and let you know she loves you just the way you are.
Keep your courage, guard your heart, and do no harm. Your sister would be proud.
Shelly
aka JesseJoe
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Hopefull
Daryl!!
Thanks for your story- that took guts.
It's unfortunate that I won't be at the very happy occasion of Steve and Cindy's wedding because it would be wonderful to see you again.
Love always,
Hope (your fellow ex-way ex-wow who never left Long Island)
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imbus
Hey Daryl,
Thanks for you story. Your invited to dinner over at my place and bring your boyfriend with you.
You are always welcomed.
:D--> 
--> 
:)-->
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ExWayDaryl
Greetings everyone.
Matters more urgent have kept me away, however, I am back.
Thank you one & all who took the time to respond to my post - it will take a little time to go through the whole topic and address every response. That said:
Hope,
Thank you for responding! Yes it is unfortunate you won't be able to attend Steve & Cindy's wedding, however, some the pictures, as I understand it, will be posted here. (For everyone's info, Hope and I were WOWs on Long Island in '82-'83.)
Be well, be prosperous, be at peace!
Daryl
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ExWayDaryl
I’m reading these in reverse order, much like an Outlook email message that has gone through numerous generations. Here goes…
Imbus,
Thank you for your offer! If I had a boyfriend, I would seriously consider taking you up on your offer. I’d bring along freshly baked Ghirardelli double chocolate brownies. And a nice bottle of Chianti or Merlot.
Hope (once again),
When we were WOWs, you were one of the very few people with whom I could feel comfortable. But with the WOW family I was in, you can understand why I chose not to “come out” then. For one thing, I was still in full-tilt-boogie denial. And if you recall, life was rather chaotic at my place. (I will not get into character assassination of my WOW brothers, as much as it may be deserved – much time has passed, and there have been some tragedies there – people change, they grow, they learn & mature. Hopefully that is the case with them. I hope it is with me.) I valued our friendship then, as well as after the WOW field. Resurrecting that friendship now would be a good thing if you are not adverse to that.
Shelly (aka JessieJoe),
You wrote, “Keep your courage, guard your heart, and do no harm.” I try to live up to that.
Perhaps my sister would be proud of me, but not nearly as proud as I am of her – a single mom raising 4 children. She was the definition of “courageous.” Thank you for your kind words.
Dot Matrix,
Congratulations on cresting the 5k mark!
I am glad I left TWI, but even more, I’m thankful to have survived this long to be thankful. There are many good and honorable people who have not.
Year2027 (aka Roy),
Your shortcomings are not necessarily wrong – they are signs of your humanity. You wrote, “The only person that can help me with my sins is me and the only person who can heal my heart is God.” Live by those words and give yourself a break. We didn’t get salvation because we deserved it, we got salvation because we needed it.
MJ412,
Thank you!
What is right for you is not necessarily right for someone else, and that’s my whole point. When the Gathering happens, that’s when all the cards will be turned up, no more bets, no more raises.
I agree with you, we are all in the same boat.
Shellon,
I apologize for my absence. I was back last night!
Jezusfreaky (Colleen),
Show me to that back booth! And can the waitress get me a toasted bagel with a hot cup of coffee please?
Oenophile,
Thank you very much for your unconditional friendship! I will address Dartanian’s post later on. And, as the GSCafe WineKeeper, I have a winery you might want to add to your list – I was at the Niebaum-Coppola winery last summer. Exceptional variety of wines, and as close as you can get to organic! Visit there when you get the opportunity.
MarkedAndAvoided,
I understand your sentiments. However, studies (a LOT of them) indicate that humans are not the only species in which homosexuality exists. It is not prevalent, but, like red hair or left-handedness, it is present.
I did not choose to be gay. Please understand that.
Hey Rascal,
I think I understand where you’re coming from. I witnessed a lot of situations within TWI where women were treated as second-class citizens, as something not much better than slaves, but at the time, there was not a whole lot I could do about it. The consensus, by a long shot, was against me.
Congratulations on being YOU!!! May you continue to grow and thrive!!!
Watered Garden,
Thank you very much! Cancer does suck, BIG time. And I don’t believe it’s a spirit at all. Rather, it’s one result of how we civilized humans abuse our metabolisms. Over time, that catches up with you. (Daryl wrote, as he took another drag from his cigarette…)
Don’tFenceMeIn,
It was not easy to write the original post. It was not easy to “come out” when I did. It’s still not easy. And it’s not easy knowing I can’t call my sister and talk to her about it.
“Coming out” is not an event. It is a process. And for some, it can last a lifetime.
Thank you for your wishes!
Dovey,
No, I’m not an ET (although some of my co-workers might disagree – LOL!)
I’m sorry about the loss of your brother! My only hope is that you are dealing with it in a way that would make him proud of you. And of that I have little doubt. Thank you for your reply!!!
2strange,
Thank you for your reply. I have some understanding about miscarriages, and I know just a little of the pain you have gone through. I wish I could give you a hug for the same reason! I will look up the book you recommended. (I tend to haunt bookstores anyway!)
I might have met Dennis Ryan, but to be honest, it doesn’t ring a bell. During the production of “God’s Royal Household,” I did get to work with a girl who was a Radio City Rockette. She was as much of a sweetheart as she was beautiful! (FYI to all, you don’t have to be straight to know what a pretty lady looks like – knowing what “pretty” is, is part of the “gay resume!)
Karmicdebt,
You don’t see how Romans pertains to me. Thank you. Neither do I. Here’s a nutshell:
To begin with, the Romans story deals with someone who is an adult, someone who is capable & qualified to make his/her own life decisions. Further, the individual described is one who already has a working, experiential (“gnosko”) knowledge of God, something that happens over a respectable period of time. Then, after all this, this person decides, “I don’t want to worship this deity any more, I want to go after idols.” Then, God “allows” the spirit of homosexuality to “overtake” this adult individual who has already known God on a personal level. Then that person “becomes” a homosexual.
I’ve known that I was gay long before I had a pubic hair I could call my own, long before being able or legally competent, in a Biblical sense, to call myself an adult, decades before I knew anything conclusive or comprehensive about God.
So how did this happen? I don’t know. It just did. You don’t choose your sexual orientation. It chooses you.
Dartanian3m,
Thank you for your sentiments concerning my sister. I appreciate that very much.
Since “coming out,” I would like to think that I’ve grown up somewhat. With people, that happens. I no longer “blame” God for my sexual orientation. I just don’t buy what the Bible says about it, specifically in Romans. (See my response to Karnicdebt, above.)
Had I been given the choice of my sexual orientation, in the past, there is no question that I would have chosen to be straight, no debate there. However, people change, as do their opinions.
I am gay either as a part of the design God originally laid out, or I am gay because of some genetic “thing” that happened while I was sill in Ellen Lamkey’s womb, or, it was the result of galactic chance. I don’t have the answer.
I DO know conclusively that I did NOT choose it. So who’s fault is it? Not mine. So please don’t tell me I chose to be gay. Whoever made that decision did not include me in the debate.
Sudo,
“A wise man learns from his mistakes.”
I’d like to think I have learned that much! Thank you!!!
NotinKansasanymore,
Thank you very much for your sentiments! I’m alone, but I don’t confuse that with lonely. If & when I find “Mr. Right,” I will be the first one to SHOUT it from the rooftops!!!
Excathedra,
Your message humbles me! Thank you!
I am not currently in contact with any of her children. For one thing, I’m not sure if they would accept me concerning this “revelation.” That aside, I wish them all well.
My parents are deceased. My dad died one year and one month after my mom died, and I found out about my dad while I was on the WOW field, on my birthday. It was a bit of a shock, considering where I was and what I was trying to accomplish.
Cknapp3 (aka Chuck),
Thanks for your gutsy reply! I could sit down and have a beer with you! (As with most everyone at the Grease Spot Caf?
And hey, I don’t need no steenkin’ crown either! I don’t usually wear hats anyway!!!
Rocky!
Fellow USAF!!! Vietnam era!!! Thank you for your post!
I do have friends & support where I live & work, thank you! My brothers know about me, and all they are concerned about is my safety! I tell them that I “play safe” when I play!
I am very sorry about your brother – with my sister, I sometimes feel as though I have not really grieved adequately – at the cemetery, I didn’t cry – I was just completely ....ed. Someone this wise, brilliant, compassionate, wonderful, beautiful and gifted, being buried under soil.
Like I said, I was ....ed.
Tom Strange,
I’m glad to meet you too! Please pass me a snow cone. Strawberry or blackberry flavored, if you don’t mind!
TheInvisibleDan,
I am gratified that you enjoyed reading my story. Thank you!
Trefor Heywood,
Thank you! I’m relieved that someone else has come to the same conclusions as I have!
Be well, safe & prosperous!
TheHighWay,
May your journey here be as prosperous and wonderful as well!
BackForty,
Thank you for your sentiments about my sister! And I too am glad we are not under that dark, deep, oppressive veil!!!
Radar,
Thank you for your response! I will see you at Cindy & Steve’s wedding!!!
And there I will give you a big hug!!!
Bowtwi,
I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, even if it’s at Starbucks!!! (Personally, I prefer Peet’s Arabian Mocha Java, it is the BEST!!!)
Chinson,
My hat is off to you & Steve. And please include a proper gentleman’s bow.
You two have welcomed me into your home knowing not much more about me than my name. (OK, Steve knew me back in the 80’s, but really only peripherally.) I’ve been in your home, played basketball with your youngest son, attempted to assist one of your daughters with her homework, sat at your table and broken bread with you.
And you have graciously invited me to be the photographer of your blessed wedding.
I am the most of all honored.
For those of you who have not met Cindy & Steve, they are among the most honest, decent, down to earth, sweetest people I have ever met. (And I wish to include Jessica, Kat, Joshua, Zachary, Star (the cat,) the other cats (who’s names I forget, please forgive me,) and the friends I have met at their dinner table.
I can only hope that my cameras will do them justice this Saturday.
Signing off for now – (but I suspect I will be back!)
Daryl J. Lamkey
Franklin Park Illinois
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herbiejuan
Daryl thank you for your candid (and restrained) response to those folk who prefer a closed minded approach to life, you were kind to do so.
Dartie ol gal...
I do believe I have something better to offer Daryl and others sinners such as ourselves and that is to simply love God with our whole being and our neighbors as ourselves.
Not a difficult concept to grasp but sometimes a difficult one to put into practice when one has recently exited a cult that reveled in do as I say and not as I do actions. I wish you good speed on your journey and much healing along the way...
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Oakspear
hmmm...I must have missed the part where Daryl asked our opinion about anything that he does.
Of course some folks feel compelled to offer their opinion, whether asked or not.
Daryl, we shared a table at the wedding last weekend, and I found you to be an extremely personable guy and fun to be around. Susie thought you were great too! Thanks for sharing your story here in this forum.
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Steve!
Daryl! How could you forget Frisky?
The other cats are Ceecee and Moon.
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Cindy!
Cecilia and Moon, darling....and, of course Geordi and Data (the iquanas), Jack and Danny (the snakes), and the various other lizards, hermit crabs, and fish.....
No matter how many beings we have in our home... we always and continually consider it an honor for you to be in our home, Daryl. You are one of the finest men we've ever met and consider ourselves blessed whenever you visit.
So...this weekend??? We brought spices from Jamaica!!!!!! Can ya come????
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dougie73
Daryl, Having met you I can say you truly are a wonderful human being and one that is quite considerate of others and I finally got around to reading your story here and I must say I am too glad you are out of the closet and that process as you call it has begun and glad too that I got to meet you at the wedding and consider you a friend too or at least a friend of the heart. You sister too must have been a gem ! See ya around bro !
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def59
EWD
I am glad you came out. Confession is the first step to wholeness. I don't know where you'll end up, but at least you got honest on the outside to match up with what God already knew on the inside.
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red
I'm sorry to hear about your sister. It takes a lot of guts to be honest with people when you know that there's a good chance that they may change how they feel about you.
I agree that you did not choose to be gay you just are. I'm bisexual, always have been always will be. I was first attracted to at the same point in life that I waws attracted to boys. When other girls played doctor with boys I played doctor with either. This was long before anyone ever told me anything about sexual orientation. At some point I was told that it was wrong. So I tryed to change, I tried so hard that I managed to get into denial. Was I changed? No, I just felt guilt and denial. I missed out on soo much because of fear of what my family would think.
About 3 years ago I finally came to terms with myself. I quit being in denial. It was quite a transition,in the end my whole life made more sence. I first came out to my fiance, he was thrilled. It actually brings us closer. We love checking out the same wemon.
Then I came out to a few close female friends. I was shocked to find out that two of the three of them were bi also. And the third one is only into being with guys but looking at wemon.
Last year I came out to my parents and older bro. They took it much better than I expected. My mother is still an innie. I'm pretty sure she hasn't bragged about that to her fc.
Thank you for coming out! Reading your post finally gave me the courage to come out here as well. I think I saved the hardest places for last. I know the joy of being myself from where I have come out. I only wish I had the courage to stop hiding from my coworkers.
I've learned to love who I am. I wouldn't change it for the world. Not that I haven't tried. But I wouldn't try again.
I'm glad that you've begun to accept yourself and hopefully realize that (all religious views aside) you are who you are and there's a reason for that, wether we understand it or not.
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ExWayDaryl
Dear Red,
Thank you for your response, and thank you very much for your sentiments concerning my sister.
As for having a lot of guts to “come out,” it wasn’t guts, really, I was just tired of living a lie. That said, I salute you for coming out as well. Coming out can be unnerving, and just downright scary. When I came out to my 2 brothers, they accepted me for who I am, and our relationship, if it has changed at all, is now for the better.
I understand your misgivings about coming out to coworkers. I will admit that I am out to some but not all where I work. However I’m at a point in life where, if a coworker asks me if I’m gay, I would not deny it. What would be the point of that? Perpetuation of the lie from which I have finally managed to escape?
You wrote: “Thank you for coming out!” I say the same to you!
I have learned to love who I am. I am human, and therefore imperfect, but hey, aren’t we all?
You are now, as I am, (to paraphrase you & Rev. Martin Luther King,) “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we’re free at last!”
Be well, be prosperous, be at peace!
Daryl Lamkey
Lives in Franklin Park, Illinois
Serves as the Staff for Alex T. Cat
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excathedra
(((((((((( red ))))))))))
many hugs and congrats to you, red !!!!
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Rejoice
Exway; you are blessed to live honestly. I never understood the "choice" argument. If that were true, than all of us could simply choose to change. When we say, "No way could I do that" we need to understand that "no way can you do that" either. It is the epitome of arrogance to think we have all the answers. Life has many shades of gray that we have no answers to, and it's not the so-called lemons we are given, it's how we deal and live with them honestly. None of us knows why we are who we are---we just are.
Within the gay community, people are as diverse as anyone else. When there is simplicity and balance and honesty, they live quite well. Then there are others [just like in the straight community] who seem to have a need to be "in your face" with their life---those are the ones I am affended by only because of their attitude. I've often wondered that if we just were willing to agree to disagree, they might not feel so compelled to put a stake in the ground.
I have family members who are gay. They've chosen to live monagamously and not flaunt anything. They are decent, loving and caring humans who only ask that in return. It is a waste of energy to do otherwise.
I have utmost respect for your honesty. I have to ask---are you still a follower of the Lord regardless? So many gay people seem to think they cannot be.
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excathedra
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Eagle
I think the homosexuality issue needs study. The Bible says what it says.
I am really sorry for the loss of your sister, Daryl. I truly am. I really believe she will be with God.
While I disagree with homosexuality or gayness, it is more prudent for me to reserve judgment on that until I learn more about it. I think God does the judging. I've been doing some research on, I hate to say it, hermaphrodites, someone born with both sexes, and it turns out that they have chromosomes that have a mixture of XY, not XX or YY to make them male or female. I am wondering if a lot of people, while having XX or YY chromosomes in their bodies, may have been born with minds that have XY programming instead of XX or YY. Those that study genetics help me. I got this off the Discovery channel.
Anyway, the point is, regardless of what Daryl's sexuality is, may God Bless him and his sister. I may not be a gay advocate, but I am trying to understand and keep scripture at the same time.
Maybe that's what God wants us to do. I don't know.
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