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9th Corps


notinKansasanymore
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Shagarack, Measnack and Tobedwego, thus saith the Lord; I have vowed a vow unto mah people, that if thou dost bow unto me, as a sunflower to the sun, thou shalt (absolute tense) burn in your lust one toward another, men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves the just recompense for their error, which is cat - the other white meat ..."

For if ya bow, ya burn, If ya don't bow, ya kaint burn, saith Kenneth Burns ...

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No job is without signification...and, as the train pulled out, he shot both hands high in the air and shouted "See you at the RACA--I'm going WOW; are you???". At this point, I was given the keys to the Executive Washroom on the Presidential Motorcoach and was told the doors of the Way International, New Knoxville and all of Shelby and Auglaize counties were open to me to preach and teach concerning..these...sports, of which I played a little semi-pro and professionally at one time. And, by the laws of learning, I become a...Bullingerite or a Platonist or a simonzeoltean. And so we have liter lites and , over here, darker darks...but it's all good cuz the beer is free......

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Wow!..I get to have my own religion?..To cool...

Well,first,I think I'll make bride-burning a mortal sin...

And instead of red dots on our nametags,we'll all have "Rev." in front of our names...

Anything over the ten drink limit will be a venial sin...

Borrowing money to purchase a home is ok,as long as my name is somewhere on the deed...

The tithe will be reduced to 5%(money orders made out to simonzelotes-sorry,no checks,please)

And,oh yeah,I'd modernize things a bit...Instead of going up and down your lift list every day,you could record yourself speaking in tongues...Then you could put all the things on your lift list in your computer,and like when you hit the "reply all" button to send out spam,you just hit the "lift all" button and play a recording of your tongue...Then you can sleep longer and give more rest to your soul...

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you pee pull are a joy unto mine heart this cold new england evening... I have travelled far but am never far from the feel low sheep of the saints... it brings a tear to mah eyah and a warmth to mah... oh wait a minute... I was too close to the radiator...

it's a cold Boston evening outside mah window but this feel low sheep, this gathering of the saints, has made me feel raht at home...

ah love yew mah pee pull... ah just love yew awl

... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...

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