I once had my WD Coordinator with me at a department store while we were making a purchase he told the guy behind the counter that we were having sex.
Wha? Huh?
... but where did he get the idea it was OK to say something like that?
LOL He didn't need a reason -- he was a clueless moron. It was probably in his DNA. Oy vey! The horror, the horror...
And I made excuses for all of them.
You did what you had to do to survive. Let it go.
* * *
Jane, your posts are like a fountain of outrage and sorrow...sometimes I chuckle but when I do I immediately feel guilty because I remember the other stories told by you and other forumers who have been victimized, and then it's not funny anymore.
After a meeting with a bunch of wows and wow vets I was alone in the back of a kitchen getting my coat off a hook. Local corps guy came in and said he was leaving and gave that obligatory 'good bye' kiss. Quick kiss, every meeting involved kisses good bye with the guys, very common at Way events.
Corps guy says. "You can do better than that." True I could, I was engaged at the time and so was HE. Nor did I find him even a little attractive. Plus his fiance was a friend of mine. My fiance was in another state.
Funny, I never mentioned that to anyone at that time, it's like I wiped it away immediately. Never thought about it, went to his wedding without a thought. Wasn't until years later I thought, huh???
Some years later, different big meeting, I had my first baby and had to nurse during a break. Took a folding chair to a corner, used a blanket since I was dressed up and all that. Baby was hot and fussy and I wanted to take the blanket off but I could not get rid of this twig coordinator guy who followed me. Finally went to ladies' room and sat on a toilet to nurse, so comfy. Same guy later that day tells me that he needs more sex than most men. Ack! I'd suspected he was trying to get a peek earlier, but 'renewed ' my mind from thinking evil of a believer but after this I was shocked into thinking he was just creepy. This time I did tell my husband who had a word with the guy to leave me alone. He left me alone.
Perhaps isolated incidents and both pretty mild, but perhaps both these men were more 'tapped in' to ministry sexual activity than I was.
I once had my WD Coordinator with me at a department store while we were making a purchase he told the guy behind the counter that we were having sex. My coordinator was 20 years older than me, and 3 inches shorter. I was not cool with this. He said I should get over it, and continued to tell everyone in earshot how he had bedded me and how much I liked it. I NEVER SLEPT WITH THE GUY. I reported it to his leadership who reprimanded him... but where did he get the idea it was OK to say something like that?
And then there was "Uncle Howard" who was just a flat out dirty old man. Once I was attending a STS and caught the attention of a friend across the room. I blew a kiss in her direction and winked at her. Uncle Howard thought I was apparently trying to catch HIS attentions. Good thing my husband was there with me. He cut in front of Howard and told him to get lost.
Even Doc vic's teaching about how "every woman in the kingdom belonged to the king" should have woken me up. I thought he must just be mistaken.
Or overhearing a conversation in the hall while visiting HQ between the head of International Outreach and someone else in which the International Outreach guy said, "Well, the Japanese people can't say the letter R because their mouths are built differently than ours are."
And I made excuses for all of them.
Too bad the character isn't a BOD or trustee. Then you could name his name. Then the *men* would likely take matters into their own hands..
I reported it to his leadership who reprimanded him...
Just curious. Did "reprimand" include removing him from his position of authority.. casting out into the outer darkness and the like?
Or was it "bad boy *nod, wink*.. don't do *it* again.."?
yeah, it was me as well. I made excuses where I should have gotten some *support* and beat the snot out of a few individuals..
Well, sexual predator goes so far in describing these dirt balls. When you think of them as scavengers who, like the hyena run from any type of fight unless they are in a pack, you can see the true nature of these folks. The reason most if not all didn't get their a$$es handed to them was they zero in on the ones that are likely not to retaliate. And it doesn't even mean the person is weak they are just vulnerable at the moment and the opportunity is there.
Jane, your posts are like a fountain of outrage and sorrow...sometimes I chuckle but when I do I immediately feel guilty because I remember the other stories told by you and other forumers who have been victimized, and then it's not funny anymore.
it's ok if you chuckle. I don't mind. I tend to use the cafe as a place to vent wheni need it, and I laugh and cry as I write and read here. It's a catharsis of sorts. And it might actually help someone who needs it. I'm better now than I ever have been. I have an actual support system in place around me with genuine caring people... But thy weren't there through all the crap I went through. The cafe is full of people like me who can completely relate!!
Just curious. Did "reprimand" include removing him from his position of authority.. casting out into the outer darkness and the like?
Or was it "bad boy *nod, wink*.. don't do *it* again.."?
I actually have a lot of respect for the guy who talked to the jerk. He's a good man and he and his family are out now. He tried to explain to this idiot that it wasn't appropriate behavior and that I had evry right to be uncomfortable with it. The guy was so dense he just didn't understand why it was wrong or disrespectful. My excuse for my WD coordinator?He was a moron. And I'm sure he saw leadership treat other women the same way.
And he had the idiocy to hint to me that we should get married because he liked the way I "submitted".
GAG.
No thank you. I have a real man now. He likes it that I don't submit, that I have my own mind, and that we have an equal partnership.
I really bear that coordinator (for all his stupidity and idiotic embarassment he put me through) no ill will. He was just an idiot.
When my husband and I went to our branch coordinators (WC couple) to talk with them about becoming their assistants, we both aired some concerns over how things were going in the ministry (things getting boring, no one was coming anymore, etc), and then also went over some of the bad things that had happened with us under leadership from the WD field and other past crap. The wife of the couple just looked at us through our long list of complaints and smiled. Smiled, and sorta looked like her brain had gone to her happy place where these complaints could not be heard. When we were done, she still sat there and smiled, then looked at her husband, who was trying to formulate a response... she looked back at us again, and smiled in her Stepford WC wife way until her dear husband finally found his voice. I think she might have been in shock. I know he was.
The lights were on, and no one was home. It was the exact face I would expect someone who had been brainwashed by a cult to make when confronted with the idea that they are in a cult. Complete shutdown of all mental faculties. I think it was part of the WC training - remove all independent thought from them, especially the women... and turn them into Way Corpse, the Walking Dead of the Way.
One of my big clues things were wrong was when I overheard a Region Coordinator (TH) telling someone that there was a military couple in a remote area of the region that hadn't been to fellowship recently. He couldn't understand why this military family moved to this area. Hello?? They were STATIONED THERE? And from what I understood from the conversation I had with the couple, the soldier had a choice - go to Iraq on a third tour, OR move to a remote area with no fellowship. Gee, which would you choose?? But according to TH, they really didn't have much commitment to the Word.
Well, sexual predator goes so far in describing these dirt balls. When you think of them as scavengers who, like the hyena run from any type of fight unless they are in a pack, you can see the true nature of these folks. The reason most if not all didn't get their a$$es handed to them was they zero in on the ones that are likely not to retaliate. And it doesn't even mean the person is weak they are just vulnerable at the moment and the opportunity is there.
HA really was a pervert. I remember meeting him at a Word in Business conference where we had to dress up cowboy style for a Texas BBQ. He had his red cowboy boots on. Another friend and I went over to greet him and commented on his red boots. He said he shined them up real good so he coult put his foot in the perfect place to see the reflection up girls' dresses......GAK!
I remember seeing him at an ACS after I moved from HQ. He looked straight at my boobs, and said "You are looking REAL good!" It felt creepy. Ironicly, that ACS convinced me to get out of TWI. I left 2 weeks later.
Listening to vpw's old audio tapes he would say things I didn't care for. He basically said if you weren't a farmer you weren't $.... on one tape. On another he said, after reading Proverbs 31, all women need to have a garden, cause God said so right there int he verse, and he read it with such an arrogance. If you live in an apartment, you should at least have some potted plants, women.
how about...our country co-ord. at the time (married) and going out for the evening with a young single mom from our 'household'.gets bach with her around 2 in the morning and very flustered to find us waiting up for her !! "oh,er,um...we ran out of petrol"(gasoline) ... yeah right
Listening to vpw's old audio tapes he would say things I didn't care for. He basically said if you weren't a farmer you weren't $.... on one tape. On another he said, after reading Proverbs 31, all women need to have a garden, cause God said so right there int he verse, and he read it with such an arrogance. If you live in an apartment, you should at least have some potted plants, women.
What an idiot.
He wasn't a farmer. He was a country bumpkin preacher turned cult leader. By his own admission he wasn't $%!+
He WASN'T a farmer.
When he was supposed to do chores on the farm, he ran off for long periods of time
where no one could find him.
His own father's reaction, when vpw said he wanted to be a preacher, was that he
hadn't even learned how to work on the farm, so he wasn't ready to put in the real
HA really was a pervert. I remember meeting him at a Word in Business conference where we had to dress up cowboy style for a Texas BBQ. He had his red cowboy boots on. Another friend and I went over to greet him and commented on his red boots. He said he shined them up real good so he coult put his foot in the perfect place to see the reflection up girls' dresses......GAK!
I remember seeing him at an ACS after I moved from HQ. He looked straight at my boobs, and said "You are looking REAL good!" It felt creepy. Ironicly, that ACS convinced me to get out of TWI. I left 2 weeks later.
which makes me wonder..
why in gawd's name is he even "emeritus" in the organization..
must be trying to teach the new kids the old tricks or something..
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brainfixed
there were so many things that leadership said and peons repeated that made no sense even to a kid, and watch out if you were a kid and said something! wham! right in the face or on the arm or on the
brainfixed
i know. reading these things now is like reading something from another world or something somebody on crack or meth was spewing while in withdrawls or maybe even overdosing. just not even close to be
soul searcher
Wha? Huh?
LOL He didn't need a reason -- he was a clueless moron. It was probably in his DNA. Oy vey! The horror, the horror...
You did what you had to do to survive. Let it go.
* * *
Jane, your posts are like a fountain of outrage and sorrow...sometimes I chuckle but when I do I immediately feel guilty because I remember the other stories told by you and other forumers who have been victimized, and then it's not funny anymore.
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Bramble
After a meeting with a bunch of wows and wow vets I was alone in the back of a kitchen getting my coat off a hook. Local corps guy came in and said he was leaving and gave that obligatory 'good bye' kiss. Quick kiss, every meeting involved kisses good bye with the guys, very common at Way events.
Corps guy says. "You can do better than that." True I could, I was engaged at the time and so was HE. Nor did I find him even a little attractive. Plus his fiance was a friend of mine. My fiance was in another state.
Funny, I never mentioned that to anyone at that time, it's like I wiped it away immediately. Never thought about it, went to his wedding without a thought. Wasn't until years later I thought, huh???
Some years later, different big meeting, I had my first baby and had to nurse during a break. Took a folding chair to a corner, used a blanket since I was dressed up and all that. Baby was hot and fussy and I wanted to take the blanket off but I could not get rid of this twig coordinator guy who followed me. Finally went to ladies' room and sat on a toilet to nurse, so comfy. Same guy later that day tells me that he needs more sex than most men. Ack! I'd suspected he was trying to get a peek earlier, but 'renewed ' my mind from thinking evil of a believer but after this I was shocked into thinking he was just creepy. This time I did tell my husband who had a word with the guy to leave me alone. He left me alone.
Perhaps isolated incidents and both pretty mild, but perhaps both these men were more 'tapped in' to ministry sexual activity than I was.
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waysider
Like father (in the word), like son.
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Ham
Too bad the character isn't a BOD or trustee. Then you could name his name. Then the *men* would likely take matters into their own hands..
Just curious. Did "reprimand" include removing him from his position of authority.. casting out into the outer darkness and the like?
Or was it "bad boy *nod, wink*.. don't do *it* again.."?
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Ham
I'm surprised howard the duck has not found himself surrounded by a half dozen or so who did not *appreciate* his behavior..
must be leftover bodyguards from the vicster or something..
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geisha779
Should have known something was wrong when the "Rev" who did the counseling for our wedding ....was in the middle of a divorce and hit on me.
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Ham
it really is amazing.. the excuses we (*I* as well) made for these scumbags..
it just CAN'T be *that*..
very interesting..
yeah, it was me as well. I made excuses where I should have gotten some *support* and beat the snot out of a few individuals..
:
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OldSkool
Well, sexual predator goes so far in describing these dirt balls. When you think of them as scavengers who, like the hyena run from any type of fight unless they are in a pack, you can see the true nature of these folks. The reason most if not all didn't get their a$$es handed to them was they zero in on the ones that are likely not to retaliate. And it doesn't even mean the person is weak they are just vulnerable at the moment and the opportunity is there.
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JavaJane
it's ok if you chuckle. I don't mind. I tend to use the cafe as a place to vent wheni need it, and I laugh and cry as I write and read here. It's a catharsis of sorts. And it might actually help someone who needs it. I'm better now than I ever have been. I have an actual support system in place around me with genuine caring people... But thy weren't there through all the crap I went through. The cafe is full of people like me who can completely relate!!
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JavaJane
I actually have a lot of respect for the guy who talked to the jerk. He's a good man and he and his family are out now. He tried to explain to this idiot that it wasn't appropriate behavior and that I had evry right to be uncomfortable with it. The guy was so dense he just didn't understand why it was wrong or disrespectful. My excuse for my WD coordinator?He was a moron. And I'm sure he saw leadership treat other women the same way.
And he had the idiocy to hint to me that we should get married because he liked the way I "submitted".
GAG.
No thank you. I have a real man now. He likes it that I don't submit, that I have my own mind, and that we have an equal partnership.
I really bear that coordinator (for all his stupidity and idiotic embarassment he put me through) no ill will. He was just an idiot.
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JavaJane
Me again... Dang, I am CHATTY tonight!
When my husband and I went to our branch coordinators (WC couple) to talk with them about becoming their assistants, we both aired some concerns over how things were going in the ministry (things getting boring, no one was coming anymore, etc), and then also went over some of the bad things that had happened with us under leadership from the WD field and other past crap. The wife of the couple just looked at us through our long list of complaints and smiled. Smiled, and sorta looked like her brain had gone to her happy place where these complaints could not be heard. When we were done, she still sat there and smiled, then looked at her husband, who was trying to formulate a response... she looked back at us again, and smiled in her Stepford WC wife way until her dear husband finally found his voice. I think she might have been in shock. I know he was.
The lights were on, and no one was home. It was the exact face I would expect someone who had been brainwashed by a cult to make when confronted with the idea that they are in a cult. Complete shutdown of all mental faculties. I think it was part of the WC training - remove all independent thought from them, especially the women... and turn them into Way Corpse, the Walking Dead of the Way.
One of my big clues things were wrong was when I overheard a Region Coordinator (TH) telling someone that there was a military couple in a remote area of the region that hadn't been to fellowship recently. He couldn't understand why this military family moved to this area. Hello?? They were STATIONED THERE? And from what I understood from the conversation I had with the couple, the soldier had a choice - go to Iraq on a third tour, OR move to a remote area with no fellowship. Gee, which would you choose?? But according to TH, they really didn't have much commitment to the Word.
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soul searcher
Great insight, there, OldSkool.
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soul searcher
Oh, Jane...another them are priceless!
You go, girl!
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OldSkool
Thanks!
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Nottawayfer
HA really was a pervert. I remember meeting him at a Word in Business conference where we had to dress up cowboy style for a Texas BBQ. He had his red cowboy boots on. Another friend and I went over to greet him and commented on his red boots. He said he shined them up real good so he coult put his foot in the perfect place to see the reflection up girls' dresses......GAK!
I remember seeing him at an ACS after I moved from HQ. He looked straight at my boobs, and said "You are looking REAL good!" It felt creepy. Ironicly, that ACS convinced me to get out of TWI. I left 2 weeks later.
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Bolshevik
Listening to vpw's old audio tapes he would say things I didn't care for. He basically said if you weren't a farmer you weren't $.... on one tape. On another he said, after reading Proverbs 31, all women need to have a garden, cause God said so right there int he verse, and he read it with such an arrogance. If you live in an apartment, you should at least have some potted plants, women.
What an idiot.
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OldSkool
He wasn't a farmer. He was a country bumpkin preacher turned cult leader. By his own admission he wasn't $%!+
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polynesian
how about...our country co-ord. at the time (married) and going out for the evening with a young single mom from our 'household'.gets bach with her around 2 in the morning and very flustered to find us waiting up for her !! "oh,er,um...we ran out of petrol"(gasoline) ... yeah right
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WordWolf
He WASN'T a farmer.
When he was supposed to do chores on the farm, he ran off for long periods of time
where no one could find him.
His own father's reaction, when vpw said he wanted to be a preacher, was that he
hadn't even learned how to work on the farm, so he wasn't ready to put in the real
work of a preacher.
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waysider
He may not have been a farmer but he sure knew how to pitch manure.
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Ham
which makes me wonder..
why in gawd's name is he even "emeritus" in the organization..
must be trying to teach the new kids the old tricks or something..
it was a CHURCH for crying out loud..
I dunno..
I was just sent to observe....
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Ham
It just does not make sense..
why in gawd's name.. would one join a church, just to get laid?
you know.. money for nuttin.. chicks for *free*..
maybe that wasn't the original intention..
So... *mr* allen.. why DID you join da way?
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Ham
might as well answer a few questions now..
going to eventually have to anyway..
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Ham
my questions are pretty easy.. now the Big Guy..
*mr* linder, or replacement, please make sure the half comatose mr. allen receives these questions.
Thank you.
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