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Stupid Way Stories


JustThinking
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One would be tempted to vacuum his house with a lawnmower, just to be sure one got it right.

When Eisenhower was President, there was very thick plush carpet in certain parts of the White House, and Mrs. Eisenhower required every servant to carry a little whisk broom and back out of the room, whisking busily to erase little footprints they made on their way out!

WG

WG

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I have told this one before but it's a pretty good one, so here goes:

I am in my first year in rez in the whey kork(6ckkpthh kork) and I am late for lunch one day, so I get no lunch. So I go sit at the last table, where one of my buds, A. Keller, is eating. The table is not full, there are only 2 other people besides me, A. and someone else. On every table at lunch that day was a relish tray with celery and carrot sticks. My friend says "Have some carrots and celery, anyways..." So I help myself and am munching on a carrot stick when one of the neo-Nazi dining room hostesses comes over and says "Put that down,____--You can't eat that, it's the WORD!!!! It's the WORD, ____!!!!!"

My buddy A.K. looks right at her and says "No, it's not, M__ B__, it's a carrot..." I almost die laughin' as she stomped off in a huff....

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Anyone here ever taught that Goliath was hit in the knee, not the forhead? We were taught that in The Bronx, then I taught it in Manhatten and started a holy war like the neavellites vs. the non navelites. Mind you, I was like 10 years old. Bronx people (circa 1979) were sure it was the knee.

The real question is: Who cares? It doesn't change a thing.

Silliness at it's finest.

Glow-ry!

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Thanks for the ((hug)), ex.

More stupids:

Around April of our WOW year, the limb coordinator decides she doesn't like our home and tells us to move. So we did. So we could live in the new place four more months. Stupid.

Same limb leader tells my WOW coordinator (female) to sleep in same bed with my other WOW sister because it's "healing." Stupid. (and weird)

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I have trouble separating twi silliness and my own.

I did burn a Whole Collection of Elvis stuff at 1972 Uncle Harry Day, and didn't regret it until after WayDale. Didn't even enjoy Elvis music again until very recently. Bill Gaither et al did a tribute to Elvis circa 2001, "He Touched Me," which showed me that Elvis' life did have that godly impact I had felt before twi.

When in twi, I loved everyone and expected the best of everyone (everyone!). Loved "Good Morning Lord" at the ROA. Hated being yelled at. Hated seeing anyone yelled at. And wished we had social programs to help people instead of just talking at them.

But I Never "saw" any of what was going on at twi until WayDale.

During the pre-WayDale, Transchat period, I thought ex-twi people were just grousing people who "couldn't make it" in twi.

I am so thankful for the Greasespot Cafe which gives people a chance to see and hear for themselves.

I am Catholic now, and am sincerely thankful to be supporting a group that is helping people build and rebuild their life by building schools, hospitals, houses, and delivering supplies to suffering people.

icon_smile.gif:)-->," God

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kit 1972 ?

You might wanna rethink your date Uncle Harry did not die until oct 12 1977 The Burn The Chaff or Uncle Harry Days were started in memory of him. i think the first was 78 -79 But sorry about your elvis collection anyway.

Kit I was raised Catholic spent 12 years in Catholic school and all of my three aunts were Sisters of Charity so I know a little about the religion. The Catholic church has just a storied past as the Way does in fact it still does. I new about it long before the Way I learned it at Bible and church history class. While there are some fine christian people in any group building churches hospitals and such does not necessarily have anything to do with God. Nor does it excuse the abuse that so many have suffered in their fine buildings that they built. In my opinion they are most likely the first cult ever if you read some of the church history.

PS I don't hate the church but I see the whole picture of who they are. Saying they are good because they build hospitals ect is no different than saying the Way is good because they helped some people. If Craig Martindale wrote a check to habitat for humanity does that excuse him for his actions? Some would say no.

Without Coffee

I Would Have No Personality At All

SOME PEOPLE SEE THE GLASS HALF FULL OTHERS SEE IT HALF EMPTY I JUST WONDER WHO THE HELL IS DRINKING MY BEER

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Didn't the Romans do some of the same things while conquering the world?

(Reminds me of a very funny scene in Monty Python's The Life of Brian. "What have the Romans done for us?" A group of local Judeans is listing their complaints against the Romans. One of their members begins to bring up the benefits of serving the Romans and the plan almost falls apart. If you haven't seen it, it's worth the time, IMO. VERY funny)

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  • 5 years later...

while in the corps program, we sang a song for veepee--

"we'll follow the man of god wherever he wants to go...."

you know the one from the movie "white christmas"

to me this is absofrikkinlutely hilarious

?

I hated it when we would change the words to Christmas songs. It was so lame. And weird to go Carrolling singing "Speak in tongues speak in tongues do it every day. Oh what joy we have in the spirit when we pray." (Jingle Bells theme) How embarrassing.

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I thought it was incredibly stupid and made us sound asinine (not to mention brainwashed) to say "Happy Household Holidays" to everyone. Two stories:

First one: I'm in FLO and we have to go door to door witnessing in Delaware Ohio a few days before Christmas. It's colder'n'hell out, about four inches of snow on the ground and more coming down. I'm paired with this way-brained, legalistic sort who is grumbling and growling about how much he hates all the decorations everyone has up. "Why?" I asked. "They are devilish; they bring devil spirits into peoples' homes and make them think devilish, selfish thoughts! I hate Christmas, too! It's a pagan holiday!" I told him we were not going to one single door to speak to anyone with him in that kind of an attitude.

Second one: Years and years later, we are in NC and at a party at the BC's home for Don W. and Mrs. VPW, who have come down to see one of his daughters who is a WOW in Charlotte that year. Teachings, Don speaks, the theme of course is the truth about Christmas and how important it is to know the truth and always say "Happy Household Holidays." After the formalities, we all get to circulate and greet and eat, etc. So I walk right up to Mrs. Victor Paul Wierwille and what comes right out of my mouth? "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Wierwille!" I was mortified and stammered apologies for my gaffe, but she just laughed that merry laugh and said, "Oh, that's all right, honey, I say it too sometimes!"

WG

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ok I got one!

I was in a small music group that played for the 'twigs' and other functions. I mean we really had a good time. There were four of us in the group, including the wife of our fellowship leader. One night the twig leader told us that he wanted us to play some Roy Rogers song for him (I was so ....ed about it I cant even remember which one to this day!), but we all thought he was kidding because that was his nature...most of the time he was trying to be humerous.

Then one night he called us all together and began lighting into us (or 'reproving' us to be PC) because we had not taken the time to play this dumb-@ss song for him, and proceeded to tell us how selfish we were being and on and on and on...it was a total joke! Needless to sya three out of the four of us said "f___ this" (bet cha cant guess which one wanted to keep it going!)

So in my mind that was pretty stupid, I dunno; what do y'all think?

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ok I got one!

I was in a small music group that played for the 'twigs' and other functions. I mean we really had a good time. There were four of us in the group, including the wife of our fellowship leader. One night the twig leader told us that he wanted us to play some Roy Rogers song for him (I was so ....ed about it I cant even remember which one to this day!), but we all thought he was kidding because that was his nature...most of the time he was trying to be humerous.

Then one night he called us all together and began lighting into us (or 'reproving' us to be PC) because we had not taken the time to play this dumb-@ss song for him, and proceeded to tell us how selfish we were being and on and on and on...it was a total joke! Needless to sya three out of the four of us said "f___ this" (bet cha cant guess which one wanted to keep it going!)

So in my mind that was pretty stupid, I dunno; what do y'all think?

Yeah, I vote for stupid. He should have been thankful there was even a group of musicians who would play, and it would not have been out of line for him to, um, let's see, uh...oh! Ask Nicely? But to issue an order and then get po'd because you wouldn't comply? Nah! He was just looking for a moment to "act spiritual".

Edited by erkjohn
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I thought it was incredibly stupid and made us sound asinine (not to mention brainwashed) to say "Happy Household Holidays" to everyone. Two stories:

First one: I'm in FLO and we have to go door to door witnessing in Delaware Ohio a few days before Christmas. It's colder'n'hell out, about four inches of snow on the ground and more coming down. I'm paired with this way-brained, legalistic sort who is grumbling and growling about how much he hates all the decorations everyone has up. "Why?" I asked. "They are devilish; they bring devil spirits into peoples' homes and make them think devilish, selfish thoughts! I hate Christmas, too! It's a pagan holiday!" I told him we were not going to one single door to speak to anyone with him in that kind of an attitude.

Second one: Years and years later, we are in NC and at a party at the BC's home for Don W. and Mrs. VPW, who have come down to see one of his daughters who is a WOW in Charlotte that year. Teachings, Don speaks, the theme of course is the truth about Christmas and how important it is to know the truth and always say "Happy Household Holidays." After the formalities, we all get to circulate and greet and eat, etc. So I walk right up to Mrs. Victor Paul Wierwille and what comes right out of my mouth? "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Wierwille!" I was mortified and stammered apologies for my gaffe, but she just laughed that merry laugh and said, "Oh, that's all right, honey, I say it too sometimes!"

WG

You know what's even more stupid? And I was waiting for this to happen. The word "Christmas" was supposed to be bad because VPW said it derived from "Christ-Mass", or a "Mass for Christ". VPW said "Christ-Mass" was a funeral so we were supposed to say, "Happy Household Holiday". The word "Holiday" comes from middle english meaning "Holy Day". The Bible says we are not to esteem any day "holier than another". Therefore "Happy Household Holiday" was every bit as pagan as the word, "Christmas". Actually, someone else whose name I can't remember came up with this. For years I waited for this bit of enlightenment to dawn on our leadership, but it never did, at least to where that, too, was changed. It was all about ego and shoving things down people's throats. I thought it was stupid then and I went along with it because that's pretty much how I handled things back then.

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LC insists someone vacuum his house before every function. But wait, that's not all...

...it has to be done in rows! And not just any rows. The vacuum has to go in the opposite direction every time (no backing up) and no "overlap" in the rows. Yep, just like a manicured lawn. The rows are perfectly lined up and the carpet pile is going in different directions. He even expected the poor soul who did this to continue this look under and around furniture!

a little late on the comment but...

If this was our old area, JT, then I'm sorry that was probably my fault. I did landscaping the last few years in TWI, and out of boredom and perhaps a lack of an artistic outlet I used to do this in our house every night before fellowship or a class. I would change up the lines and angles or do something like a target and yes I would do my best to keep the pattern even under the tables and chairs and around corners and down halls, even if it was on a diagonal down the hall. This was not anality, it was just personal amusement. I can see our old LC seeing it, liking it, and insisting other people to do the same. It may have started at a class we had at our house. I guess even though I never "won" anyone, I did leave a mark after all. :biglaugh:

I did also hate the changed words to Christmas songs, and even worse was that we would go out caroling singing them. Looking back it is hilarious to think of how people's faces would slowly change as they first recognized the melody but then realize something was different. The smile would turn to bewilderment and then to an uncomfortable courtesy smile.

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Stupid? Sure - how about organizing witnessing efforts for years where basically you go to a mall and try to accost people shopping. We were viewed as one step below the people with clipboards that do "surveys". At least they were getting paid.

Funny - I never saw any local church people through the years doing that. Their outreach happened as a direct result of what they put into the community - no need for accosting people at malls.

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Okay this is one of those things I never understood.. THe entire time I was in TWI and honestly I still do not get,

We were not to sing certain songs because they were off the word yet other songs were fine..

example Yes you can sing Old rugged cross but nothing else with Cross in it. What was that all about?

Edited by leafytwiglet
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Ahhhhh!

The memories of wacky Way days.---------- sigh

Midway through my first year of Fellow Laborers, most of us were frazzled from lack of sleep and low protein diets.

So, the FLO Coordinator calls a special meeting, chews our butts out for grumbling and proceeds to give us a teaching that "proves" the human body can run on no sleep at all with an appropriate amount of SIT and believing. Even threw in a scripture or two from Habakkuk or Nehemiah or Job or somewhere just to make it official. Guess who overslept for the following morning's 5:30 AM fellowship? Oh, there's more to it, but I'll leave it at that.

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OK---Here's a funny one.

When I first got in The Word, my twig leader took me witnessing at a local "meat market" type bar. Before you know it, we were sitting at a table with two very attractive young ladies. The twig leader very skillfully steered the conversation into a dissertation on the "law" of believing. At some point in the conversation he declares that "believing is a verb and a verb connotes ACTION." Of course, in those days, everyone knew that ACTION was a euphemism for recreational sex. So now he's red-faced, hemming and hawing, back peddling and trying to save face in front of the newbie (me). I still chuckle at the remembrance of him squirming in his seat as he tried to shrug off the innuendo.

Edited by waysider
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Soon after JCOPS we were plenty used to Septa 11 being Jesus birthday. Oh yes we did...in case you 've jumped ahead of me in your thinking. We made ornaments - some were just decoration, and some were food for birds etc. And we hung them on an evergreen tree at the branch leader's home. Then we sang some properly worded HO-HO songs.

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When we needed flowers for a high dignitary function, we were told to go to funeral homes and ask for any left over flowers from a service. And I did. I was the only one brave enough to look like an idiot. Geez, I miss those more than abundant life wow days.

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Soon after JCOPS we were plenty used to Septa 11 being Jesus birthday. Oh yes we did...in case you 've jumped ahead of me in your thinking. We made ornaments - some were just decoration, and some were food for birds etc. And we hung them on an evergreen tree at the branch leader's home. Then we sang some properly worded HO-HO songs.

LOL. I knew a WC couple that once decorated with balloons and a banner that said Happy Birthday Jesus Christ on September 11th. Their teenage daughter came home with some friends. One of them asked who Jesus Christ was. Mortified, the daughter said she didn't know and asked her Mom, "Who is that for?" Pretending she had no clue why her parents were acting like that.

The Mom told the daughter she shouldn't be embarrassed about her stand for the Lord JC, of course using her daughters humiliation as a teaching tool.

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