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What's Best for You?


Belle
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So, what is it? What makes someone want to get involved with a church or a group? Having had the experiences with TWI that you did....what is your criteria now?

Despite the arrogance, lack of compassion and simple kindness that some poster show on the boards here, would you go to church or fellowship with them because their group, "had the Word" or still taught things you believed in and believe to be important?

Despite the views of some of the Biblical things you learned in TWI, would you go to a church where the people were genuine, loving, kind and took care of one another even if they taught a few things differently?

Do you decide to have nothing to do with any organized religion and just "do your own thing"?

I know there are some who have given up on God and any kind of religion whatsoever, some have gone back to what they grew up in and others have gone a totally different route.

When I read posts from some of the more obnoxious and hateful people, I think, "if you were at the only place on earth with "the truth" then I would just rather die without it. I certainly want nothing to do with any god you worship."

The church I currently attend, I'm considering joining, but part of me is extremely hesitant to become an "official" member of anything. ( I know TWI said we weren't members, but that's really just semantics...we were members...members "in particular" - functioning household members - according to the teachings.) I really like these people and they've been nothing but kind and understanding. No one has pushed me to do anything or give anything. They have a lot of different things that they offer and ways that they help in the community - I like that. It's like they really do practice what they preach.....doing good unto all men. The doctrinal straining at gnats and nit-picking what each Greek word means just isn't all that important to me anymore. I think God, if He really is there, would never make it so complicated to know Him.

What about you? What do you look for? What have you decided is best for you?

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I'm not comfortable in groups,especially large ones, but alot of that is because I am basically shy and always have been. Since TWI...no groups for long. I do belong to PTO and a local writer's grup, but neither of them are intrusive, if you know what I mean.

I as far as belief, i considr myself a solitary, though now and then I'll be part of an area wide festivity, or meet up with a couple girlfiends for a purpose. Sometimes we just drink coffee, but then I usually learn alot.

Some posters here--eek. My insincts tell me to run away and hide the children!

If I was looking for a church I would look at the kindness and heart of the person, of which there are several on this site

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We attend a Grace Brethren church. They are conservative in some ways, they teach from the Bible, and this particular church is a new "church plant" filled with loving, kind, genuine, sincere folks who just want to love God and do His will. We really try to take care of each other. There is no pressure to meet an impossible standard of perfection. We try to understand and apply the true meaning of grace.

I've been very scared to let go and get involved. I've felt like I would never, ever commit myself to anything. However, these guys are not like TWI at all and would be horrified if I told any tales about my previous experiences. But they just melt my heart.

WG

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Thanks, y'all.

Bramble, I have a few friends I do the coffee and chit chat kind of thing with. We don't start out with that intent, but usually end up in some deep discussion where we all come away feeling better. I like those smaller groups, too.

But I also like some of the things a "church" can offer that you don't get in the small circles or by yourself. Not everyone needs or wants that, and I totally get that. I don't even want it most of the time, but when I do, this church is where I go.

WateredGarden, sounds like a wonderful church! I'm very happy for you!! :) The people make all the difference in the world, imo.

Thanks for sharing, y'all.

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For me, without getting some sort of "feeding" , I am as dull as a doorknob (the brushed nickel kind)!

I need to have worship time, and learning time with others once a week!!!

This week has been very emotional for me on many levels. I had to ask myself "what is it that makes me really LOVE someone?"

It came down to ...........................yup you guessed it, GOD! If we don't talk about Who HE is and what He does in our lives, etc.........then, I care ,but I am not ENDEARED or really love them.

Since leaving the Way, God sent us to this bible sunday school at a church that has totally changed our lives!

A real test for us now, because the man leading it, is moving out of state. So, do we follow a man?

God forbid. That is what we had to "check" of ourselves.

But, truly, the love and humility and compassion this man has for the Lord, and for others, was very overwhelming...(not used to it...yaknow?)

He endeared us, therefore, we love him. And, frankly, I like feeling this way.

But, we don't stay or go because of him, and we are very hesitant and doing anything like that again.

So, we aren't "members'' yet either, it scares us still.

But, the community of love for Christ and others is still the best thing for us and our children.

imo

Edited by bliss
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I'v been to some good churches and some not-so-good churches. I've never made myself an official member at any of them. I figure they should let me come and participate whether I want to be "Official" or not. :) Most have been OK with that. I still can't find a church in Arizona like the one I had in San Diego. I am bummed about that, but I wouldn't give up my husband for anything. (He's the reason I moved.)

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Despite the arrogance, lack of compassion and simple kindness that some poster show on the boards here, would you go to church or fellowship with them because their group, "had the Word" or still taught things you believed in and believe to be important?

Yeah, I would -God has brought that message home to me rather forcefully.

Over my 15+ years living here and working with the Salvation Army for several years while living here, I have come into contact with a thousand+ people. Some of them I was really happy to see leave-

So I join the LDS church and within a two year time period I find out one of the females I had real problems with is already a member and another one is in the process of joining and are both in my ward. That took me aback a little. So I reasoned, "well I'll just stay out of their way".

Well, apparently God wasn't real happy with my attitude, because he made me both of these ladies visiting teacher. That meant every month I either had to visit with them in their homes, call them on the phone or write them. In addition, as a visiting teacher you are your "visitees" (I think I just made a new word <_< ) "go to" person. You need help you call your visiting teacher who provides you help or if she can't she calls the relief Society President who finds someone who can.

So here I was up close and personal with two women I didn't like, and not only up close and personal but in the "servant" position. Talk about "taking a check up from the neck up".

Last year, here comes another one, I didn't hesitate, walked up gave her a hug and said "welcome, so glad to see you, how have you been?". Given our past track record, she was a bit floored --but things are going well, thank you very much.

Learned my lesson well I did, If the Truth is being taught I don't care who is in the pew next to me --I'll be there

Edited by templelady
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After 13 years of intense devotion to twi, I finally came to a place in my life where I realized that my spirituality was a personal thing...I realized that I must first eliminate anything and everything that had become a "filter" for my faith. I am no longer interested in joinng any churches or religious organizations.

If I NEED other people to reinforce my belief system, then it detracts from my own efforts to develope a one on one relationship with God. When Paul was first converted to Christianity, didn't he go into the desert by himself for 13 years?...

If you have found a church that satisfies what you're looking for, fine...whether it is based on "doctrine" or on "nice people", that's your choice and I do not condemn any of you for it...but as far as what's best for me...

...fellowshipping with other believers and interacting within the spiritual body of Christ has nothing at all to do with organized religion.

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Well, being the big mouth that I am, I just gotta say that "fellowshipping" with other Christians based on "doctrinal beliefs" is doomed, before it even gets started.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the norm in "organized religion." I guess that's why I'd rather volunteer at the homeless shelter and the local soup kitchen. Or be involved in church functions that include visiting the sick, and helping older people who are "shut-ins."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :B)

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George – Have you kept or dismissed most TWI doctrine? Did you seek out a church based on doctrine alone? Thanks for answering. :)

Bliss – It’s scary to think that maybe we’re falling into the same trap all over again, isn’t it? The church, being very different from TWI, would probably think it silly for anyone to leave or move just because of a man – that alone will help with some of the anguish, I would think. I understand feeling the need to be around others. I really like it when I go to church, but sometimes I have to drag myself there. “Committing” to being a member is a very sore subject for me in my own mind….no one has even asked me about joining. It’s an internal battle.

WayferNot – Best reason I can think of to move! :) Do you visit churches often or just every so often? What makes you decide to go when you do?

Mo – Very interesting and touching experiences you’ve had! Thanks for sharing them. You’re definitely a better person than I. I know that if certain posters on here invited me to their church I’d just laugh in their face and I sure as he11 couldn’t see myself bending over backwards to serve them. You continue to amaze and inspire me!

Cool – Comforting going back to the way we were raised, isn’t it? Thanks.

Groucho – I hear ya. I’ve learned more from folks here than I learned the whole time I was in TWI. I also learned better how to find answers and to not be afraid to ask questions. It’s that pull and desire to stay as far away from “organized” religion that causes so much consternation for me.

ex10 - I agree. That’s part of what I like about this church…they do offer so many things long those lines that include “hands on” and “face to face” interaction with people who really need help regardless of what church or religion they follow.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm feeling more and more comfortable in the church I'm attending . My husband and I got baptized together and we are now...MEMBERS!!!! Ta Da Da Da!!!! lol :dance:

We all know what twi said about Membership right? Because we had to give our money to them and them only. Be loyal to them ONLY. They made the churches look so bad to us. The word MEMBERSHIP was a very bad word.

In our church, they give back to the community. They believe in helping the poor. That was a no no in LCM's eyes. Do you remember him saying " They LIVE IN THE DESERT, YOU CAN'T PLANT FOOD IN THE DESERT!!!

then of course he used Jesus saying how we will always have the poor.

I now see with eyes unblinded how we are to follow the examples of Christ and help those in need. :)

I've also been learning about the Apostle Paul and his heart for giving in 2Cor. He didn't ask for money in return. He just wanted to teach them. Paul was also defending himself to the church because of the false teachers putting him down. In this next week we will be studying more about false teachers and cults. That should be interesting :)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm looking at the bible in a whole new way. I really never saw any of that in Corinthians, and so much more I've been learning about the true Love of God.

So, to answer the question, What's best for me? Being somewhere where there are genuine hearts of love, forgiveness, compassion, and giving and doing it all unselfishly :love3:

XOXO

Frances :wave:

Edited by Sunnyfla
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WayferNot Best reason I can think of to move! :) Do you visit churches often or just every so often? What makes you decide to go when you do?

Ooops! I just saw this today. Sorry I didn't answer earlier.

We have times where we visit a different church every week about 2 or 3 weeks. Then we end up going back to one close to our house. We like it OK, but we don't LOVE it. Then we may not go for months at a time (like now--the backyard landscaing is our priority :)). When we do decide to go, the decision is based only on the curiosity to check the place out to see if it could be our church home.

My hubby thinks about going back to his old church, but they don't believe in singing with instruments. They just sing together. This is rather ironic when I think that my husband has been involved in music almost his whole life. I LOVE praise and worship, so I wouldn't be happy there. He likes that church because of the strength the church has in teaching the Bible.

Edited by Wayfer Not
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Well, for me...my answer stems out of Way philosophy (which is quite ironic). Either accept the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, that the Bible has 'everything pertaining to life and godliness', and that is your ONLY standard in life, or reject the whole thing. Either be hot or cold, not lukewarm. So for me, i cant accept some parts of it, and ignore other parts i dont like. So basically, i no longer accept the Bible as the only source of knowing "God". I no longer go to ANY sort of church, or organized religious gathering of any kind. I do not believe in blind faith and accepting an "invisible man" as any sort of savior. I think religion is just an excuse to stop thinking about life and a lazy mans way to get easy answers to lifes tough problems/mysteries. Everyone has their own path in life, and their own answers they need to dig out for themselves which is HARD, but it IS easier to go to a church and get spoon fed all of the answers. One religion cannot possibly have all the answers. I have been a part of a religious organization for many years, and if that is as good as it gets....forget it. I will not tolerate another person having any sort of power over my decisions, my life, my views, my politics, ANYTHING. whether i succeed or fail in life, that will be my OWN choosing and responsibilty rests squarely on MY shoulders. I saw nothing in The Way that warrants a continued journey down the path of Christian fundamentalism.

I think that all organized religions put "God" in a box and all think they have all the answers. screw that and screw them. I believe there is a definite Godhead, and He/She is bigger than all religions and has so many ways in which one can come to know their spirituality. I feel closer to God being out in Nature, going camping, rafting, observing wild animals, whatever, than sitting in some church somewhere indoors. My dream is for all of these religious organizations, zealots, the fundamentalists, to keep fighting, and one day they will kill each other all off. Then we will be finally free of these lunatics... :)

Edited by Chief Cornerstone
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"So, what is it? What makes someone want to get involved with a church or a group? Having had the experiences with TWI that you did....what is your criteria now?"

For me, I will not be a part of any group who mocks other religions, mocks others because of what they believe or who they are. I do not consider that to be very loving. I now prefer an Interfaith group. I may not always agree with a Muslim or a Jewish person, et.al, but nor will I condemn them because they are of that faith. I now prefer to be part of a group where we stand together because we love God & want to be better people.

Vyctorya

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I have not felt led to seek out a church. I left TWI in '88 after being in from age 15-33. I feel I have had enough "meetings" to last a lifetime. I feel the same as others, I will not allow anyone else to control my life, try to tell what to do, what is "spiritually best" for me, what they think God wants me to do, etc.

I have never lost my love for God and Christ though. I believe God still works with us and teaches us - I do not need a church for that. Actually, I have met some wonderful Christians who do not go to church either. We can sit and talk about anything doctrinally, no matter how out - there's no church to say you can or can't consider this or that idea.

In fact, I came to the conclusion years ago, that I think many of your "true" (for lack of a better word) Christians are not in the churches. Organized religion is stifling. I really believe there's a difference between a personal relationship with God and Christ and what organized religion has to offer. So, no church for me.

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Wow. I don't really even know how I feel about the concept of God anymore. Maybe it's the relatively fresh scab that's left from leaving. I was completely raised on Way doctrine. It was my belief system for 29 years. I've thrown it out wholesale, not interested in separating the baby from the bathwater, because I don't even know if I believe in the baby. Maybe this will change over time. Right now I'm pretty calloused and even angry towards anything Way, and pretty much anything Christain or religous. Now I certainly don't look down on Christains anymore like I did when I was a wayfer, but I don't have much reason to get involved with what they do.

But, I do realize now that a lot of churches have a lot more to offer than I knew before, which is good. I have respect for the ones I hear about that do things to help people.

I guess right now I have more in common with the hippies or the rastas as far as philosophy goes. I don't have a need for relegion at this point in life.

As Jack Johnson says "Love is the answer, at least to most of the questions in my heart."

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Looks like a lot of us have the same thinking about church and organized religion. :)

Looks like some of us are still contemplating that baby, too. And others, have brought the baby into the house instead of going to church for the baby.

I like the church I attend, but I'm still contemplating, learning and thinking about God and all that is. Some days I'm afraid to NOT believe in God....other days I can't believe there is a God ....and still others, I think it's way more than the "Christian God" and way more and way different from what we were taught. That's why I like hanging out in the Doctrinal Dungeon and learning from others. It's why I like visiting the Unitarian Universalist Church and it's why I've been studying and learning about other religions, beliefs and whatnot.

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