Hello, Catcup. I started the class this month 33 years ago. Went wow, etc..... I walked away in 1994 basically intact, at least I thought so. It was not until Waydale and then Greasespot that I realized how screwed up I was. Now I know I was involved in a terribly destructive cult and I can admit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for all your informative and well-written posts. Keep posting!!!!
How I admire you for fighting back to regain the life that you were destined to lead. How much more the feelings of accomplishment, the significance in light of how hard you had to fight.
I like your posts, and I share your sentiments. For my life, what I struggle with is that I think those many years ago I was praying to God and following God. I don't know what happened, but somehow really want to believe that all things work together for good for us that love God and are called according to His purpose. It's just that years ago His purpose and TWI's purpose diametrically divurged for me, and I've since learned all this stuff about how the corrupt roots extend way back to the highest and earliest, how a lot was plagiarized, the sex scandals, the homo stuff that's probably still going on. I just have to believe that somehow God has protected my heart and that all that scripture I worked at learning is worth something. Why should their pathology be mine? But maybe I'm just chockfull of nuts and in need of therapy.
Ah yes...it will be 33 years this July for me...when I did a full gainer off the high board into the cess pool of the false prophet...
...and spent 13 years dog paddling through the sludge of false doctrines, sex scandals, and money schemes...thinking most of the time that all was well...
...They fed me sh* t and told me it was steak...as Bob Hope might have said..."thanks for the memories"
Interesting. I got home from work today and out of smokes, I walked over to the gas station (2 doors away from me) to get a pack. Coming back towards my house (in the parking lot of the car fix-it place right next door to me), this lady is in her car, rolls down her window, and says ----
"Hey! Aren't you a fiddler???"
Turned out she and I knew each other, and she said "I have a question to ask of you".
She apologized ahead of time if she mistook me (and what was said about me), instead of someone else. Then she asked -- "I've heard it said, that you were once in a cult". I had no problem admitting to that, but when she said she had been in a cult too, (she called it her LOST YEARS), I was in a quandry to tell her all that happened, or just brush it off as so much water under the bridge that we call life. I decided to minimalize the whole experience, just hitting the high points of what we all went through in twi. Like most women --- she wanted to talk, and I had other things to do!!
All that aside -- it was an eerie experience thinking about it all again. All I wanted to do was get back home (25 feet away) and practice some music. Suddenly I was being asked to remember the "Old Days". It was a struggle to remember things that happened back then, but I realized how far away from me they are now.
It seems worse when it is the back story gossip about you .. that you were in this cult ... and then stories of the last 20 years of TWI .... but they don't talk directly to you. It can even be a tool against you.
I've had two or three times when it sorta leaked out to me, like "oh yeah, i know you were in that cult " but then the gossip is of all kinds of stuff that I was never part of. So they might assume I was zombie eyed and selling flowers and who knows what else. As bad as old TWI may have been, I sure wouldn't want to be associated with the later TWI.
It seems along with getting our own mind back, we still have to reclaim our persona from people that have us labeled.
Joel 2:25-27 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
i'm just asking... cuz i live in a rather large metropolitan area... and no one seems to care about this kind of stuff...
there's so much nutso stuff out in the world that my being in a peon cult like twi just doesn't even make the radar screen... LOL
there are plenty of people that know i was "in a cult" (as i've mentioned it to them in passing) and no one treats me any differently after they know... in fact, i'm not sure they even remember (LOL)... everyone has so much of their own stuff on their plate...
so i'm just wondering if this is a function of being in a small town instead of a large metropolitan area...
I am near a small town now ... and I suspect there are rumors ... I grew up near here and my family is from here ...
but the times I'm thinking of, one was relatives ... they don't want to talk about it, but I talked a little with a couple, then wrote them a longer letter to explain what they read (I think about TWI in the 90's) was not the same as what I was in, and that I was not part of the worst of it even in the old days
Another time was with a new group of friends, mostly professionals, and there was another geologist that was TWI with a corps wife. I was sorta "transitional" then, but I meant to tell them "hey ... some of us thought some of those people were pretty crazy even when we were in ..." I'm was never like them. And my own picadillos, I had before the cult :o
Another close group of friends knew another corps guy professionally ... but I think he was rather "normal". It has never been that big a deal, but I think it was a black mark, or a stigma. Fortunately I won them over with my charm and good looks (and a lot of beer)
As bad as twi was, I believe that God was with me and that He spoke to me and protected me as much as He could. I'm a PK and I don't ever remember a time in my life that I didn't blieve that Jesus was the son of God and that he had died for me and that God raised him from the dead.
All of my friends and family that were in twi got out and none of us ever just stopped believing. We all sought God with all of our hearts and God honored that, I believe. And the most wonderful part of life after twi is that now I can have a relationship with Christ Jesus my Lord, as I once did. I believe that was the most vile part of what twi taught...that Jesus was just a man and you didn't really have anything to do with him, he was just sittin' around waiting for God to say, "okay, it's time. Go down there and gather them up"... What an insidious lie!
Recommended Posts
waysider
"What a long, strange trip it's been."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
act2
Hello, Catcup. I started the class this month 33 years ago. Went wow, etc..... I walked away in 1994 basically intact, at least I thought so. It was not until Waydale and then Greasespot that I realized how screwed up I was. Now I know I was involved in a terribly destructive cult and I can admit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for all your informative and well-written posts. Keep posting!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
JeffSjo
Dear Catcup,
HOORAY for you.
JEFF
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Congratulations Catcup!
How I admire you for fighting back to regain the life that you were destined to lead. How much more the feelings of accomplishment, the significance in light of how hard you had to fight.
You go girl!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
polar bear
Way to go. I hope many others follow in your wake.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
chockfull
Catcup,
I like your posts, and I share your sentiments. For my life, what I struggle with is that I think those many years ago I was praying to God and following God. I don't know what happened, but somehow really want to believe that all things work together for good for us that love God and are called according to His purpose. It's just that years ago His purpose and TWI's purpose diametrically divurged for me, and I've since learned all this stuff about how the corrupt roots extend way back to the highest and earliest, how a lot was plagiarized, the sex scandals, the homo stuff that's probably still going on. I just have to believe that somehow God has protected my heart and that all that scripture I worked at learning is worth something. Why should their pathology be mine? But maybe I'm just chockfull of nuts and in need of therapy.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
hi catcup love ya
it was almost as long ago for me
WTF am i doing here ? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
guess it had an impact
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jen-o
dear chockfull,
i hear ya, and i agree with ya...
the scripture i learned by reading the bible for myself, on my own time, was definitely worth learning...
of course, i did have to throw out all the twi interpretation that was attached to certain scriptures and let the Holy Spirit teach me afresh... :)
peace,
jen-o
Edited by jen-oLink to comment
Share on other sites
rhino
Congrats Catcup ... 24 years is a big chunk, but you have recovered it seems, and you have a big chunk left ... no doubt the best is yet to come.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GrouchoMarxJr
Ah yes...it will be 33 years this July for me...when I did a full gainer off the high board into the cess pool of the false prophet...
...and spent 13 years dog paddling through the sludge of false doctrines, sex scandals, and money schemes...thinking most of the time that all was well...
...They fed me sh* t and told me it was steak...as Bob Hope might have said..."thanks for the memories"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cheranne
ditto that ! Recovery is a long process if your honest about it,but if you just sweep it under the rug it comes back to bite
you in the unconcious dream state,we are all wise to have gotten out of The Way.
I hate cults..all cults,I too was so pumped to take the class,sold my 12 string guitar to get money for it,then shunned family.
and friends and anything that came in between "the ministry".
A long wrong turn in life...thank God we found our clearing in that storm,and when I think about it alot of people try to
do that on their own,all alone and that is really hard,so I am glad for grease spots support, it is almost like going to AA meetings
or something.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Holy guacamole!
Nixon was still in his first term and the U.S. was still three years away from pulling out of Viet Nam when I was sitting in that class.
How did I get so old?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
dmiller
Interesting. I got home from work today and out of smokes, I walked over to the gas station (2 doors away from me) to get a pack. Coming back towards my house (in the parking lot of the car fix-it place right next door to me), this lady is in her car, rolls down her window, and says ----
"Hey! Aren't you a fiddler???"
Turned out she and I knew each other, and she said "I have a question to ask of you".
She apologized ahead of time if she mistook me (and what was said about me), instead of someone else. Then she asked -- "I've heard it said, that you were once in a cult". I had no problem admitting to that, but when she said she had been in a cult too, (she called it her LOST YEARS), I was in a quandry to tell her all that happened, or just brush it off as so much water under the bridge that we call life. I decided to minimalize the whole experience, just hitting the high points of what we all went through in twi. Like most women --- she wanted to talk, and I had other things to do!!
All that aside -- it was an eerie experience thinking about it all again. All I wanted to do was get back home (25 feet away) and practice some music. Suddenly I was being asked to remember the "Old Days". It was a struggle to remember things that happened back then, but I realized how far away from me they are now.
For which I am TRUELY THANKFUL!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steveo
Yep those things come back to haunt you! Thank goodness I moved to a different city....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rhino
It seems worse when it is the back story gossip about you .. that you were in this cult ... and then stories of the last 20 years of TWI .... but they don't talk directly to you. It can even be a tool against you.
I've had two or three times when it sorta leaked out to me, like "oh yeah, i know you were in that cult " but then the gossip is of all kinds of stuff that I was never part of. So they might assume I was zombie eyed and selling flowers and who knows what else. As bad as old TWI may have been, I sure wouldn't want to be associated with the later TWI.
It seems along with getting our own mind back, we still have to reclaim our persona from people that have us labeled.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
chockfull
Joel 2:25-27 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jen-o
hey dmiller and rhino,
do you guys live in small towns?
i'm just asking... cuz i live in a rather large metropolitan area... and no one seems to care about this kind of stuff...
there's so much nutso stuff out in the world that my being in a peon cult like twi just doesn't even make the radar screen... LOL
there are plenty of people that know i was "in a cult" (as i've mentioned it to them in passing) and no one treats me any differently after they know... in fact, i'm not sure they even remember (LOL)... everyone has so much of their own stuff on their plate...
so i'm just wondering if this is a function of being in a small town instead of a large metropolitan area...
peace,
jen-o
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
Lol...when I mention that I was in a cult...people laugh and smack their heads and say...*well THAT explains a lot* hee hee...
I am truly thankful to have dear friends, good enough to laugh with me over past silliness ...anybody else, just doesn`t matter any more :)
Edited by rascalLink to comment
Share on other sites
rhino
I am near a small town now ... and I suspect there are rumors ... I grew up near here and my family is from here ...
but the times I'm thinking of, one was relatives ... they don't want to talk about it, but I talked a little with a couple, then wrote them a longer letter to explain what they read (I think about TWI in the 90's) was not the same as what I was in, and that I was not part of the worst of it even in the old days
Another time was with a new group of friends, mostly professionals, and there was another geologist that was TWI with a corps wife. I was sorta "transitional" then, but I meant to tell them "hey ... some of us thought some of those people were pretty crazy even when we were in ..." I'm was never like them. And my own picadillos, I had before the cult :o
Another close group of friends knew another corps guy professionally ... but I think he was rather "normal". It has never been that big a deal, but I think it was a black mark, or a stigma. Fortunately I won them over with my charm and good looks (and a lot of beer)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
sky watcher
As bad as twi was, I believe that God was with me and that He spoke to me and protected me as much as He could. I'm a PK and I don't ever remember a time in my life that I didn't blieve that Jesus was the son of God and that he had died for me and that God raised him from the dead.
All of my friends and family that were in twi got out and none of us ever just stopped believing. We all sought God with all of our hearts and God honored that, I believe. And the most wonderful part of life after twi is that now I can have a relationship with Christ Jesus my Lord, as I once did. I believe that was the most vile part of what twi taught...that Jesus was just a man and you didn't really have anything to do with him, he was just sittin' around waiting for God to say, "okay, it's time. Go down there and gather them up"... What an insidious lie!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Twinky
A "PK"???
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rhino
preacher's kid
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChasUFarley
Catcup, Your post has hit me in a place deeper than I have words to describe. Words fitly spoken.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
what's a picadillo? is it something you find along side rural byways?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.