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Dilema-went to church


finallyunderstand
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Recently I went to church. I went because I've met many members and they seemed so nice with big hearts. I went with all of my children. At first everything seemed really nice. But then we ended up spending the first 40 minutes in a prayer session where people cried and yelled "jesus" over and over again. Then the Pastor preached. It was actually a very good sermon. But people kept saying "thank you jesus" over and over again and waving their arms in the air and crying during it. Then afterwards there was another long prayer session. (More tears and arm waving) It took everything I had to keep my kids from laughing or whispering to me that they wanted to leave.

So we haven't been back but I can't stop thinking about how nice the people were, and I appreciate the vollunteer work they have done in our city. I've thought about going late and leaving early, but all the "thank you jesus's" during the sermon will probably get on my nerves. My kids definitely won't come with me.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? If the sermon had been terrible and the people hadn't been so wonderful I wouldn't be giving it a second thought. But other than the theatrics, I liked it. I'd appreciate any opinions or advice anyone may have about this.

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I church hopped for a long time.like channel surfing..it is hard you feel like an outsider at first.

The first church I went to and became a member of I didn't agree with everything but enjoyed

the preachers teachings.

The hands raised and "pentecostal" type ways made me feel a little uncomfortable at first but,

I just kinda sat on the back row taking notes.(in my much scribled bible I had as a way believer)

I had to eventually get rid of it and start FRESH with a new bible(it was just to confusing to look

at all those pfal class notes and words had differant meanings to me than to other people)

The reason I stayed as long as I did in a non denominational church was because of my children

whom I learned more about life than any church or class I could ever take.

But,I wanted them to have a knowledge of the bible and not ever have to go thru what I had to in

The Way(so far they haven't joined any cults!)

After I moved again I never found a church home again, I am not much into organized religon

but it doessn't bother me if people are at all or if they are not.

Edited by cheranne
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Ive had the experience in my immediate post way days and at the time it was an adjustment and took some getting used to--I left shortly thereafter for a whole different set of reasons.

Its up to you, but TWI's brand of christianity, if thats what you are comparing it to had no corner on what is "right". There are slews of different brands and practices of christianity, almost all of them seem at least somewhat strange to me---

Is it really any weirder than hearing tongues for the first time?

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If I had it do over again with my kids. I would have just taught them myself in my home. Isn't that what many did throughout the bible. Why do we need these ugly buildings.

Even twi folks can be nice, unitl they get you into their fold. It's all part of the act.

If you do want a group, go first without the kids. Do some research. You have to protect them.

As for me I'd keep it between a few friends or relatives.

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Ive had the experience in my immediate post way days and at the time it was an adjustment and took some getting used to--I left shortly thereafter for a whole different set of reasons.

Its up to you, but TWI's brand of christianity, if thats what you are comparing it to had no corner on what is "right". There are slews of different brands and practices of christianity, almost all of them seem at least somewhat strange to me---

Is it really any weirder than hearing tongues for the first time?

I see what you are saying and it makes sense. But actually, I really am looking for something different than twi's brand of Christianity. When I was "in" volunteering and donating to other causes was always discouraged, put down or yelled about how wrong it was. All time and ABS had to go to the "true household" for it to have God's blessing on it. I've enjoyed being free in my mind now to help people no matter who or where they are. That's what I like about this church, they really give.

That's a good point about hearing something for the first time. It was surprising to see people I knew acting this way. I just can't see myself doing that. But I really respect how much they give to the city.

If I had it do over again with my kids. I would have just taught them myself in my home. Isn't that what many did throughout the bible. Why do we need these ugly buildings.

Even twi folks can be nice, unitl they get you into their fold. It's all part of the act.

If you do want a group, go first without the kids. Do some research.

As for me I'd keep it between a few friends or relatives.

Didn't think about that. Thanks, I'll consider it next time I try something.

my advice:?......run

LOL-my kid's gave me the same advice. They're still not letting me live it down yet.

:offtopic:

Hey now--I dont attend a church--I do think the buildings are incredible though...

someone put a lot of heart and soul into those things

I agree. I once toured a church that had stained glass all over and beautiful woodwork. It was breathtaking.

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If the sermon was good and you just felt uncomfortable with the "Jesus" cries, ask yourself, why does it bother you?

For me that kind of thing bothered me because in TWI we were warned against having too much emotion, because it could be misleading, or even "open your mind to devil spirits" as they would say. But I don't think God meant for us not to have our emotions involved in our relationship with Him. Ever read some of the Psalms? There is a balance to it of course, but too many in TWI were cold, hard, and "anti-emotion."

Also, we were taught that the name 'Jesus' emphasized his humiliated side while 'Christ' emphasized his exalted side. So we would never say anything like "Thank you, Jesus!" However, I learned a while back that there is no Biblical foundation for that idea. Yet it took me several years before I could even SAY 'Jesus' without 'Christ', let alone utter anything emotionally.

So if they're teaching the Bible and living Christian love as far as you can see, you may just need time to get used to their "style" of worship.

Edited by Mark Clarke
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I agree with all of the above. We attend our third-to-fourth church since leaving TWI. The first was dying, the second was a great church that we did NOT join, but we sang in the choir and were in a small group for a while. Then we got involved in a church plant that the second church started in a nearby town and DID join that one, much to my dismay and personal reluctance. I was right - the plant died.

The remnant of this group is forming a new fellowship based on the model of Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington, which gives me nausea and cold chills for a lot of reasons, mostly doctrinal. Very very conservative.

So, to make a short story long, I would research the daylights out of any church before I exposed my family to it. And I would consider some mainstream churches, also. United Methodist churches are all over the place and some of them are very modern and do good works some are more conservative.

Anyways, good luck and God bless.

WG

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Recently I went to church. I went because I've met many members and they seemed so nice with big hearts. I went with all of my children. At first everything seemed really nice. But then we ended up spending the first 40 minutes in a prayer session where people cried and yelled "jesus" over and over again. Then the Pastor preached. It was actually a very good sermon. But people kept saying "thank you jesus" over and over again and waving their arms in the air and crying during it. Then afterwards there was another long prayer session. (More tears and arm waving) It took everything I had to keep my kids from laughing or whispering to me that they wanted to leave.

So we haven't been back but I can't stop thinking about how nice the people were, and I appreciate the vollunteer work they have done in our city. I've thought about going late and leaving early, but all the "thank you jesus's" during the sermon will probably get on my nerves. My kids definitely won't come with me.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? If the sermon had been terrible and the people hadn't been so wonderful I wouldn't be giving it a second thought. But other than the theatrics, I liked it. I'd appreciate any opinions or advice anyone may have about this.

Well, I am actually with Mark Clarke on this one--why did it bother you? A group of Christians praising the Lord at a church should hardly seem odd. Why would this group of big hearted Christians--cry and thank Jesus? Why would they show emotion? What is it that moves them--should they not be comfortable and able to praise in a church?

Were they waving their hands or raising them? Not to be rude, but your attitude does seem a bit misplaced. When someone prays--I often thank Jesus as I am moved by His goodness and grace. Thanking Jesus--get on your nerves?

We pray together don't we?

Perhaps it is not theatrics, but genuine worship and praise. Emotion is a part of that--it is lovely that they are comfortable in their faith in Jesus and willing to worship together.

If the fruit of those in that church is good. . . I would stick around and learn exactly what it is that moves them to tears and praise.

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When I was in high school, all the Catholic kids went to early mass at St. Dunkin's.

https://www.dunkindonuts.com/

Ha thats true! I went to Howard Johnsons wiith my sister,it was good quality time spent!

I agree with Mark too, and also I don't like those big ugly gothic buildings they just creep me out!

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Well, I am actually with Mark Clarke on this one--why did it bother you? A group of Christians praising the Lord at a church should hardly seem odd. Why would this group of big hearted Christians--cry and thank Jesus? Why would they show emotion? What is it that moves them--should they not be comfortable and able to praise in a church?

Were they waving their hands or raising them? Not to be rude, but your attitude does seem a bit misplaced. When someone prays--I often thank Jesus as I am moved by His goodness and grace. Thanking Jesus--get on your nerves?

We pray together don't we?

Perhaps it is not theatrics, but genuine worship and praise. Emotion is a part of that--it is lovely that they are comfortable in their faith in Jesus and willing to worship together.

If the fruit of those in that church is good. . . I would stick around and learn exactly what it is that moves them to tears and praise.

I've heard this back and forth a lot. In any group, any crowd, you have the genuine and the posers.

(Not singling out your post geisha - but it was the easiest way to refer to the conversation.)

I was in a church with an open worship style. There's really no way to tell who is genuine and who is trying to fit in. The bottom line is that NO ONE should be able to dictate what "genuine worship" is. In fact, I found it equally insulting to be judged by how theatrical I was or rather, was not.

It's why I've come to dislike any organized religion. People are people. The nature of people is that if you're doing what they do - they like you, and if you're not...they don't. It works conversely too. It's too easy to be untrue to yourself so that you fit in.

Give me one or two honest friends who will stand with you no matter what - any day. Someone who isn't afraid to get in and get their hands dirty (in a good way, of course.) Someone who won't p(ss on your leg and try to tell you it's raining. Someone who knows the value of an honest relationship - and welcomes it in return.

I guess as with any relationship - you eventually have to get to the place that you're comfortable in your own skin and being who you are. THEN you can be YOU in front of anyone - and do so honestly.

I better shut up now...before I really say what I'm thinking...;)

Edited by doojable
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Just a suggestion that might help you sort through your thoughts on this, and services in general - have you ever attended an Episcopal church service? If not or it's been awhile where a formal order of service is observed it might be a refreshing experience. Generally they're very friendly folks, but mileage varies on that as with anything I'm sure. Couple links below for reference on both Episcopal and Anglican. (I'm not a card carrying member of either brand and collect no commission for new recruits, it's just a thought that hit me while reading here)

http://anglicansonline.org/basics/expect.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episcopal_Chu...ates_of_America

I get a little weirded out by overt displays at church services myself, if it gets out of hand, or what I consider loud or noisy. On the other hand I can appreciate the friendly trust that allows for that kind of expression. I know why it's odd to me at times and that's because I like to have the time at a service for reflection and both spiritual invigoration and relaxation. I've been at services where people start having what I call "moments" and frankly I'm not sure that what's going on is doing them any good. Nobody's getting hurt or anything but my sense of the environment in those kinds of situations at times has been that they're more chaotic than purposeful.

Which isn't automatically a bad thing. Chaos can be bad of course but can also be part of a natural process of something or things coming into order in a way that needs to run it's course and won't if controlled by an imposed process.

Anyhoo - your comfort and edification needs (sounds kinda clinical there :biglaugh: ) will vary from others. Seek...and you will find. :)

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Hi FinallyUnderstand,

I tend to agree with dooj. Now, here are my thoughts: If a group/church/fellowship/whathaveyou makes me uncomfortable, I now listen to my instincts and get outta there. There are plenty of flavors out there, and if you really want to belong to something, some group, you'll probably eventually find one that you do feel comfortable with.

My advice? Keep looking. Your inner voice will be talking to you. Listen to it. Just because you feel uncomfortable with the way a group worships does not mean you are being critical. I repeat. That does not mean you are being critical. You have the right to feel uncomfortable with the way anything is done at any church. That does not mean you're being critical. It probably simply means that one is not for you. Again, keep looking. If you really need to belong to a church, the right one will be there eventually. Don't compromise your true feelings just to fit in. I did that several years back and regretted it later on.

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Whe I first looked for a church I had a list of things I wanted

1. No cross behind the preacher or on top of the building(now I laugh about this and makes me feel

vampiresh :biglaugh:

2. Must have bible studys and use KJV or close to it.

3. Speaking in Tongues (unsure..was not comfortable with that, and people getting wild jumping pews!)

Like in the Blues Brother movie!!! :biglaugh:

4. Had to be normal dressed people ,be able to wear jean and a t shirt. No sunday "church shoes" for

me and my house. :biglaugh: (my 3 yr old informed me there was no such thing as CHURCH SHOES!) :unsure: :eusa_clap:

5. Praise music must be good,modern cool like acoustic.

Then I would think about it.

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I guess I did this backwards, because I did my church shopping pre-TWI. I attended everything from lifting-holy-hands, "thank you, Jesus," "hallelujah" churches to the stodgy mainstream ones to home fellowships.

I was put off by all the shows of emotion at the church in the first category. I'm sure for some people it was a genuine expression of thankfulness, but for most it seemed more like a habit or an outward show of how religious they were. I have an uncle that must give forth a "hallelujah" anytime we say grace before a meal, and that strikes me the same way. I can't blame twi for my discomfort in that atmosphere, because services like that made me uncomfortable before I ever heard of twi.

The stodgy mainstream churches, I gather, are much less stodgy today than they were in my youth. I haven't been to one in a long time, but I see their signs announcing activities that would indicate they've lightened up.

IMO, home fellowships are okay as long as no one is the "leader." The most I've done in that regard is get together with my immediate family to pray and read the Bible together, but I have friends who get together with maybe only one other couple. They're not out proseletyzing or trying to build a larger group. This seems to me to be the way to go, but that's just me. Only you can know what you want and would like.

Many churches do a lot of charity work, so if that's what you liked about that church, but you didn't like the service, maybe you can find another church that's into giving and check it out.

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If you have children, it would be a good idea to find the person in charge of the Sunday School and ask to see the curriculum. I know that most of the major denominations use the same one...that is....Presbeterians use the same....not all denominations use the same one. But each denomination does settle on one.

Children need the instruction. I don't think I could have done a good job teaching my own kids, unless I had some kind of curriculum to follow. (If I had to change parts of it, I would)

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I am a Bapacostal

So, when I go to a Baptist church they are great but lack power as they hang back to the left of pentecost.

So, then I go to a pentecostal place and well, they have all been a little too much for me the other way. Something spiritual and I am not sure which spirit... One I went to had "barking and howling". And at first I thought I had found my place!!!! Then, I nearly knocked people down running out the door :)

So, I went back to the Baptists but if someone gets sick they just make soup and do not minister prayer.....

Back and forth I go...

Then, today as I was complaining to God I realize that I am never going to find the perfect place and perhaps as long as it is not too far to the left or right I can go and just WORSHIP God.

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Finallyunderstand.....my now 25 year old son told me something when he was 16 years old that I will never forget. After a lengthy discussion about "churches", fellowships, the differences and the likes he said, "Mom, you have to go where you grow. That is how Christ works in His Church." The Lord's little prophet had spoken.

You know what I learned from that? Those who belong to Him have His spirit in them. When we desire fellowship with Him He will lead us to where we need to be to learn and grow. If His spirit in me is troubled by a church service then that is not where He intends for me to be (perhaps, just for that time) for my personal growth.

I will tell you this, though. He may lead me to hear, listen and study from one particular ministry ("church", group) for just one area of growth and yet another ministry to learn another area of growth and perhaps, still yet, another. That is how He designed apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers and other ministries in His Body to work, i. e. for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the minstry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.....

Blessings.

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Just a suggestion that might help you sort through your thoughts on this, and services in general - have you ever attended an Episcopal church service? If not or it's been awhile where a formal order of service is observed it might be a refreshing experience. Generally they're very friendly folks, but mileage varies on that as with anything I'm sure. Couple links below for reference on both Episcopal and Anglican. (I'm not a card carrying member of either brand and collect no commission for new recruits, it's just a thought that hit me while reading here)

http://anglicansonline.org/basics/expect.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Episcopal_Chu...ates_of_America

I get a little weirded out by overt displays at church services myself, if it gets out of hand, or what I consider loud or noisy. On the other hand I can appreciate the friendly trust that allows for that kind of expression. I know why it's odd to me at times and that's because I like to have the time at a service for reflection and both spiritual invigoration and relaxation. I've been at services where people start having what I call "moments" and frankly I'm not sure that what's going on is doing them any good. Nobody's getting hurt or anything but my sense of the environment in those kinds of situations at times has been that they're more chaotic than purposeful.

Which isn't automatically a bad thing. Chaos can be bad of course but can also be part of a natural process of something or things coming into order in a way that needs to run it's course and won't if controlled by an imposed process.

Anyhoo - your comfort and edification needs (sounds kinda clinical there :biglaugh: ) will vary from others. Seek...and you will find. :)

In addition to Episcopal/Anglican, I would suggest ELCA(Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) or LCMS(Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod). Worship style is similar, both have traditional as well as contemporary styles of worship/music.
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