I think you're going to have to get some weights and wrap them around your ankles. You must feel so much lighter that your body won't stay in the bed tonight!
I'm glad you finally got that chore done. I don't think you were any more rude than the rest of us were. Some are still there now for heaven's sake!
Look at you.....off to a new happier start with what appears to be a sparkling brand new life. Mazel Tov!
How rude were you - you ask? Why, no ruder than I was when my Roman Catholic sister-in-law presented me with a lovely sterling silver cross necklace with a diamond on it and as she watched in anticipation of my being delighted to receive such a beautiful gift and instead I asked her "If Jesus had come today and been put to death by electric chair, would you have bought me one of those babies on a chain?"
Yeah, we really sucked big-time, but I really try to look at those episodes as I think God does - he looks on our hearts. Our hearts weren't to hurt people, we thought we were educating them.
I'm so thankful so many of us are free from all that bondage.
I love that you made "cultassface"!!! Outstandingly gigglishous!!!
Oh, I forgot the rest of the stow-ry.
I took that necklace back to the jewelry store she bought it at and traded it for a pair of "holy spirit dove" earrings - so much more "on the Word," don'tcha know...
I've made some of those phone calls. I walked away from my best friend of 13 years as if I never knew her. We were so close that when her mother died when we were 16 years old, I slept at her house that night. I walked away from that friendship, but when I called her she never questioned me, just accepted me back. It wasn't until this year, 32 years later, that I actually apologized.
Good for you for reaching out and saying you were wrong. Most people are forgiving when they spot humility in someone they love. I was horrible, too. I apologized to my pre-twi-friends when I could find them, also. My BEST friend in college I was not able to find until two yrs. ago. I had always mourned the loss of her friendship after one day on campus when I was doing my know-it-all Way THANG, as a new Way-convert, and she turned to me and said, "I've been a Christian all my life. I don't need YOU to tell me what the Bible says!" as she walked off and out of my life.
Anyway, I spotted her address on our college alumni address database in September two yrs. ago after trying to look her up for a long time with no success. I prayed about it until December--about what to say in a letter. Then, I wrote her a letter and apologized and asked her to forgive me in a Christmas card.
She didn't write back until Easter time when she sent me an Easter card telling me how surprised she was to hear from me--but pleasantly surprised. I'll cherish that card forever! We are now regular email buddies. Hopefully, we will be able to get together someday and see each other face to face. This brings tears to my eyes just to think about it!
The 12 Step Program teaches another way to make amends, if it’s better not to bring up the past, is to treat the other person better when you're with them--to be the respectful, loving friend or family member you wish you'd been in the past. That's what I strive to do now. My family was very rude and controlling towards me when I was "in" and I felt, as an adult, it was my prerogative to associate with whomever and whatever religious group I chose. For that reason, I have never felt the need to apologize to them for the way I acted because they were behaving even more arrogantly and all-knowing than I was, if that's possible. But, of course I dropped the know-it-all attitude by degrees (I wish I could say right away) after leaving the group.
On second thought, I think I will apologize to my dad, as I'm reading over this. I think I do owe him an apology. He took the class and I was very controlling towards him during that time.
Thanks Pawtucket once again for your labor of love in presenting us with this free therapy board. You are amazing :)
Amazing stories ~! I love the learning for me of 'it's the small stuff, really' in that being involved with TWI gave us such a broad stroke in regards to dealing with those that love us and have to witness our arrogance, but so much more those we may have been intimately closer to; dear friends and certainly our family who raised us and never bailed on us when we were acting out of that or just plain being butts.
I'm also struck with how bendable the human relationship(s) is when it comes to humility and forgiveness so much of the time. When someone truly loves us, really loves us, they seem to hang on, even if it feels like they aren't, 'til the proctologist locates our head.
I don't really know about god's grace being truly amazing, i'm now an agnostic. i do know that a great friend, who never took the class, brought up jewish, is an agnostic as well, didn't think twice about forgiving me.
Yeah... I think a lot of us had those kinds of things in our twi-history-books. I know I have eaten a lot of crow and made a LOT of apologies since leaving their clutches. One good thing is that I'm a lot more understanding of other peoples' faults and foibles, knowing the stupid, selfish, and hurtful things I've done in my lifetime.
Bravo to you for simply picking up the phone and apologizing. That alone will heal most hurts.
Yeah... I think a lot of us had those kinds of things in our twi-history-books. I know I have eaten a lot of crow and made a LOT of apologies since leaving their clutches. One good thing is that I'm a lot more understanding of other peoples' faults and foibles, knowing the stupid, selfish, and hurtful things I've done in my lifetime.
Bravo to you for simply picking up the phone and apologizing. That alone will heal most hurts.
Shellon, congrats to you on the good things that are happening in your life and for making amends. I have done the same thing to family and friends. The Way International taught us to be haughty. I try my best to be compassionate and humble since leaving twi.
On second thought, I think I will apologize to my dad, as I'm reading over this. I think I do owe him an apology. He took the class and I was very controlling towards him during that time.
Love that ! My parents and brothers, o lordy bless their patient hearts..........yeah.
We do what we do until we don't and maybe it really is that simple. I prefer my life now where I get to choose if I do something really stupid and I get to choose when and/or if I change that, when I do, how I do and with whom I make different choices.
My four year old grand daughter pounds the air with her little fist and hollars "This Is America ~!" and argues about whatever it is she doesn't want to do that her parents are insisting on.
She's right, though.
So long as I am upright and sucking air, I want to remain thankful for those that love me and forgive me for the stupid things and hang in there with me. That's pretty much as good as it gets.
The human condition also thrills me (most of the time) in that we humans do accept another's faults and shortcomings pretty well when we understand that we, too, are just humans as well and I think it behooves us to not forget that.
It's a strong man or woman who can accept an apology, understand the situation to the end s/he can forgive and keep going into better things.
As stong as the man or woman who has the courage to own their wrong and do something about it. Why not? Things are sure better after, no?
Those trips down Memory Lane aren't always quite as rosy as we remembered (wince).
Shellon, good on you for having the guts to apologize. And good on all those people who took your phone calls, and accepted the apologies. You must have some great family and friends.
Growth and healing to our hearts is always possible.
I'm so thankful my family didn't kick me to the curb like I did to them because of their unbeliever status. I've done some apologizing too. I even apologized to a child friend for being judgmental of her life-style. Who am I to tell her how to live her life?
We were so self-righteous. We were so busy seeing how effed up everyone else was that we didn't see our own crap. What a joke. What a tragedy. What a cult.
I think the biggest regret I have now is that I didn't take care of my great aunt's rosary beads that she wanted me to have when she left the convent. She wanted to give them to me since I "obviously loved God".
She's gone and I can't apologize for treating such a prized possession so poorly. I was sure that someone in TWI would accuse me of allowing devil spirits into my home, blah and blah and puke.
What a shame, eh?
But yeah, it has been very wonderful to take care of other things, clear the air on past behaviors and to receive the love, so graciously, from people.
And Aunt Augusta would frown disapprovingly at me and say something like "why didn't you just say so, I would have kept the rosary beads until you came to your senses"
Recommended Posts
Bolshevik
"My Name is Earl"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
krys
I think you're going to have to get some weights and wrap them around your ankles. You must feel so much lighter that your body won't stay in the bed tonight!
I'm glad you finally got that chore done. I don't think you were any more rude than the rest of us were. Some are still there now for heaven's sake!
Look at you.....off to a new happier start with what appears to be a sparkling brand new life. Mazel Tov!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tzaia
Some people never get it. You did. How wonderful.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bowtwi
How rude were you - you ask? Why, no ruder than I was when my Roman Catholic sister-in-law presented me with a lovely sterling silver cross necklace with a diamond on it and as she watched in anticipation of my being delighted to receive such a beautiful gift and instead I asked her "If Jesus had come today and been put to death by electric chair, would you have bought me one of those babies on a chain?"
Yeah, we really sucked big-time, but I really try to look at those episodes as I think God does - he looks on our hearts. Our hearts weren't to hurt people, we thought we were educating them.
I'm so thankful so many of us are free from all that bondage.
I love that you made "cultassface"!!! Outstandingly gigglishous!!!
Oh, I forgot the rest of the stow-ry.
I took that necklace back to the jewelry store she bought it at and traded it for a pair of "holy spirit dove" earrings - so much more "on the Word," don'tcha know...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
Hee Hee Hee I learned to say assface from the best !
Yeah, we sucked, but yeah now we can know and not suck, thankfully eh?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Can't be too careful with those silver crosses.
Might be a debuhl spurt hiding in that thing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
taxicab
I've made some of those phone calls. I walked away from my best friend of 13 years as if I never knew her. We were so close that when her mother died when we were 16 years old, I slept at her house that night. I walked away from that friendship, but when I called her she never questioned me, just accepted me back. It wasn't until this year, 32 years later, that I actually apologized.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
:) taxicab
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Watered Garden
Isn't God's grace truly amazing?
WG
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
Good for you for reaching out and saying you were wrong. Most people are forgiving when they spot humility in someone they love. I was horrible, too. I apologized to my pre-twi-friends when I could find them, also. My BEST friend in college I was not able to find until two yrs. ago. I had always mourned the loss of her friendship after one day on campus when I was doing my know-it-all Way THANG, as a new Way-convert, and she turned to me and said, "I've been a Christian all my life. I don't need YOU to tell me what the Bible says!" as she walked off and out of my life.
Anyway, I spotted her address on our college alumni address database in September two yrs. ago after trying to look her up for a long time with no success. I prayed about it until December--about what to say in a letter. Then, I wrote her a letter and apologized and asked her to forgive me in a Christmas card.
She didn't write back until Easter time when she sent me an Easter card telling me how surprised she was to hear from me--but pleasantly surprised. I'll cherish that card forever! We are now regular email buddies. Hopefully, we will be able to get together someday and see each other face to face. This brings tears to my eyes just to think about it!
The 12 Step Program teaches another way to make amends, if it’s better not to bring up the past, is to treat the other person better when you're with them--to be the respectful, loving friend or family member you wish you'd been in the past. That's what I strive to do now. My family was very rude and controlling towards me when I was "in" and I felt, as an adult, it was my prerogative to associate with whomever and whatever religious group I chose. For that reason, I have never felt the need to apologize to them for the way I acted because they were behaving even more arrogantly and all-knowing than I was, if that's possible. But, of course I dropped the know-it-all attitude by degrees (I wish I could say right away) after leaving the group.
On second thought, I think I will apologize to my dad, as I'm reading over this. I think I do owe him an apology. He took the class and I was very controlling towards him during that time.
Thanks Pawtucket once again for your labor of love in presenting us with this free therapy board. You are amazing :)
Edited by waterbuffaloLink to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
Amazing stories ~! I love the learning for me of 'it's the small stuff, really' in that being involved with TWI gave us such a broad stroke in regards to dealing with those that love us and have to witness our arrogance, but so much more those we may have been intimately closer to; dear friends and certainly our family who raised us and never bailed on us when we were acting out of that or just plain being butts.
I'm also struck with how bendable the human relationship(s) is when it comes to humility and forgiveness so much of the time. When someone truly loves us, really loves us, they seem to hang on, even if it feels like they aren't, 'til the proctologist locates our head.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
taxicab
I don't really know about god's grace being truly amazing, i'm now an agnostic. i do know that a great friend, who never took the class, brought up jewish, is an agnostic as well, didn't think twice about forgiving me.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheHighWay
Yeah... I think a lot of us had those kinds of things in our twi-history-books. I know I have eaten a lot of crow and made a LOT of apologies since leaving their clutches. One good thing is that I'm a lot more understanding of other peoples' faults and foibles, knowing the stupid, selfish, and hurtful things I've done in my lifetime.
Bravo to you for simply picking up the phone and apologizing. That alone will heal most hurts.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
And bravo to you, too, it sounds.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
act2
Shellon, congrats to you on the good things that are happening in your life and for making amends. I have done the same thing to family and friends. The Way International taught us to be haughty. I try my best to be compassionate and humble since leaving twi.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
Love that ! My parents and brothers, o lordy bless their patient hearts..........yeah.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
:)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
We do what we do until we don't and maybe it really is that simple. I prefer my life now where I get to choose if I do something really stupid and I get to choose when and/or if I change that, when I do, how I do and with whom I make different choices.
My four year old grand daughter pounds the air with her little fist and hollars "This Is America ~!" and argues about whatever it is she doesn't want to do that her parents are insisting on.
She's right, though.
So long as I am upright and sucking air, I want to remain thankful for those that love me and forgive me for the stupid things and hang in there with me. That's pretty much as good as it gets.
The human condition also thrills me (most of the time) in that we humans do accept another's faults and shortcomings pretty well when we understand that we, too, are just humans as well and I think it behooves us to not forget that.
It's a strong man or woman who can accept an apology, understand the situation to the end s/he can forgive and keep going into better things.
As stong as the man or woman who has the courage to own their wrong and do something about it. Why not? Things are sure better after, no?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Twinky
Nice thread!
Those trips down Memory Lane aren't always quite as rosy as we remembered (wince).
Shellon, good on you for having the guts to apologize. And good on all those people who took your phone calls, and accepted the apologies. You must have some great family and friends.
Growth and healing to our hearts is always possible.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nottawayfer
I'm so thankful my family didn't kick me to the curb like I did to them because of their unbeliever status. I've done some apologizing too. I even apologized to a child friend for being judgmental of her life-style. Who am I to tell her how to live her life?
We were so self-righteous. We were so busy seeing how effed up everyone else was that we didn't see our own crap. What a joke. What a tragedy. What a cult.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cheranne
Great Post Shellon, I know I threw out bibles and crosses and basically shunned my family
It was a long time coming until I could say I am sooooo very sorry.(lots of healing to be done first
to even recognize the ignorance of my mind!)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Shellon
I think the biggest regret I have now is that I didn't take care of my great aunt's rosary beads that she wanted me to have when she left the convent. She wanted to give them to me since I "obviously loved God".
She's gone and I can't apologize for treating such a prized possession so poorly. I was sure that someone in TWI would accuse me of allowing devil spirits into my home, blah and blah and puke.
What a shame, eh?
But yeah, it has been very wonderful to take care of other things, clear the air on past behaviors and to receive the love, so graciously, from people.
And Aunt Augusta would frown disapprovingly at me and say something like "why didn't you just say so, I would have kept the rosary beads until you came to your senses"
:)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.