I think there has been some massive lobotomization of people in general but especially those who are in "customer service".
I had such a streak of run ins with the walking brain dead zombies a month or so back----everyone that I talked to on the phone and everyone who walked into my shop...
that I put this "No Morons" sign on my workshop door
It hasnt really stopped them but it made me feel a little better
You can take some heart Linda - smart companies realize the importance of both customer service and customer satisfaction - technically and practically two different although related items. Unfortunately companies who have sanctioned "monopolies" such as cable providers don't bother with service since you are already captive by geography, i.e. Time Warner will have some section of San Diego and Cox will have the other section - hence you as a consumer have no choice and are captive to the script reading mindless dolts who cannot think outside of their scripts. If nothing else you can always tell them that the problem needs to be escalated and you will need help removing human blood from their hardware interface units.
Always get a name and company ID (applies to IRS as well).
Always demand a supervisor
Always make a follow up call or email to corporate essentially posting what you posted here originally
Always explain that you are NO LONGER INTERESTED IN THEIR LACK OF SERVICE AND THAT YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY SWITCHING PHONE PROVIDERS (don't waste this on the dolt - use it on the supervisor and on corporate)
Always tell them you are posting the transcript on several pubic blogs and web sites.
Always tell them that if they resolve the situation immediately and satisfactorily you will not post the blogs nor contact corporate WITH THE ID AND NAME OF THE DOLT.
I once needed customer service on an IBM computer I owned. I finally was connected to a voice with a distinctive far Eastern accent which is familiar to all of us.
He wanted me to take the machine apart.....and I fell into the trap and started to do it. Then I realized what a horror show I could be into and put it all back together hung up the phone and tried again. This time I had a different but still distinctive voice. He said....we'll do one thing at a time, ok? That was just my speed. I did a few things he a asked.....then he told me to format my C drive. This was an old computer. The program disk went in drive A, the data disk went in drive B, but C was the main gizmo. I knew enough to not do that and I told him so. Then he said I could do as I liked, but if I didn't want to do what the expert suggested I was being very foolish. ahem
I once needed customer service on an IBM computer I owned. I finally was connected to a voice with a distinctive far Eastern accent which is familiar to all of us.
He wanted me to take the machine apart.....and I fell into the trap and started to do it.
IBMs have a secret reset switch that repairs all. It is located on the underside of the PC. You lift the computer and smash it onto the ground underside hitting squarely with at least 16g of deceleration. The result is a net gain or one might say reverse entropy. 16g sounds like a lot but if one considers instantaneous deceleration it is roughly equivalent to dropping it off of an 9m ladder.
IBMs have a secret reset switch that repairs all. It is located on the underside of the PC. You lift the computer and smash it onto the ground underside hitting squarely with at least 16g of deceleration. The result is a net gain or one might say reverse entropy. 16g sounds like a lot but if one considers instantaneous deceleration it is roughly equivalent to dropping it off of an 9m ladder.
IBMs have a secret reset switch that repairs all. It is located on the underside of the PC. You lift the computer and smash it onto the ground underside hitting squarely with at least 16g of deceleration. The result is a net gain or one might say reverse entropy. 16g sounds like a lot but if one considers instantaneous deceleration it is roughly equivalent to dropping it off of an 9m ladder.
Do you think that might have worked on the person on the other side of the phone with the very distinctive eastern accent?
I would not trade my cable company for anything. When the make an appointment for between 10 and 2 on a certain day they are there ready to solve the problem usually by 11.
They have a program to control my computer from their offices to set up DNS numbers and other things that they can do a lot faster than I can when they explain it to me. When they give me instructions for resetting the cable box after it's power was interrupted...they stay on the line and ask me what the screen shows now, just to make sure the right sequence is happening. One time it didn't and they had me back out and try again.
I've had the usual defunctarroonios. (?) etc....but I have never spoken to a customer service rep who didn't know the answer to my problem......OR how to find the answer. Besides that, English is their native language.
My mum is not at all techno-savvy. However, I did introduce her to the internet and she started to get interested. Not good, but she could cope. She got a supplier, Tiscali. Then after some months, the internet service went down. She has complained and complained and complained...she has had no service now for over six months. She has to ring on their premium number and they will get back to her - but never do. They still keep billing her, however. In disgust she has transferred to TalkTalk (but both Tiscali and TT are in the same Carphone Warehouse stable). She STILL hasn't got service. She has been in touch with the Ombudsman and he threatened Tiscali and they did give her a bit of a refund and did provide the MAC quite promptly once he got in touch with them.
I had problems with Tiscali myself and had to ring their premium number and go through the usual name, address, DoB, phone no, and shedloads of other information that I don't want to give - only to be given short-term help. I had to ring three times before the problem got fixed.
They have these premium lines and long-winded conversations, so that they can make money off punters.
Then they phone you back a few days later, wanting you to complete a customer satisfaction survey. Huh.
Always ask for the next highest level / supervisor. Demand a name and write down details.
I have never bothered with Tiscali's email address for me. Have had my Hotmail address for a very long time. Why should I change that for some giveaway that I never wanted in the first place? They only want me to have a Tiscali address because they are too lazy to send me a physical phone bill.
Right. Let's listen to our customers...then completely ignore them.
Back in my old dial-up days, we had an AOL account. I needed help for some thing or another, so I used the online chat. The responses I received seemed...mechanical to me. So I typed the question, "Are you a live person or a computer?"
That's funny, George. Yes, it's obvious they are either reading from a script or that they have a macro set up so they just hit a key that generates the answer they think fits the question.
What cracked me up was the first person telling me twice that I'd gotten their Internet chat support. I'm the one who accessed it, so I sorta already knew that.
What was even funnier was that the online chat person and the second person I got on the phone told me they could help after I told them very specifically what I wanted help with. And then after long pauses and diddling around, both said, "Sorry, I can't help you with that."
The particularly annoying thing was that the first time I called, one of the things on the voice mail menu was "Internet phone support." However, the interactive portion of the system was down, so I had to wait for a live person for 45 minutes anyway. Then the second time I called, when the interactive voice mail had been supposedly fixed, there was no option anywhere for phone problems.
What a fiasco. I was annoyed and at the same time amused at the ridiculousness of it all.
The good news is that I haven't found any difference between the quality of my phone service after the switch from AT&T to my cable provider, with unlimited long distance and the same features I had with AT&T, but for $40 less per month. I tried to get a better rate with AT&T before switching, but I got a worse runaround from them than from my cable company. The problem of poor customer service is pretty universal.
I tried working through their operaters. The only thing they work out is when are you going to pay. After they took $11k out of my account I got to another level of operators. One finally said I was right and didn't oue the money but they couldn't do anything. She gave me the number to the tax payer advocate and they fixed the problem. The tax payer advocate is part of the IRS. Go figure.
A couple years ago, after trying nearly everything to get my new Dell to work, I did the unthinkable. I called Dell's tech support. After giving the service tag and all that other jazz, I explained the problem to the technician.
"According to the BIOS," I said, "my computer has 4GB of RAM installed. But Vista Ultimate only shows 2GB."
"Hmm," the tech responded, "what is this Vissa software you are using?"
"Microsoft Vista Ultimate," I explained, "you know, the new Microsoft OS?"
The rep paused. "I'm sorry, we don't support third party software. But if you would like, I can help you restore your computer to its original state. Do you have your Dell Resource CD?"
"No, no," I countered, "this isn't third party software. It is the operating system that came with the computer when I purchased it from you."
"What is the software called again?"
"Microsoft Vista," I said slowly, "Ultimate Edition."
The rep put me on hold for a few minutes and returned several minutes later. "Where did you get this Vissa program? I will see if anyone here has heard of it."
"Well," I wasn't sure how to respond, "it's Microsoft's newest Operating System, and it is called Vista."
"Ooooh," the rep responded, "Vissa! Yes, I understand now."
I just waited for a moment.
"Well Mr. Mike," he said, "this is a problem with the Vissa software. We have notified Microsoft and they have informed us that you can not use more than 3GB of memory with this software. I suggest you uninstall it and install the XP Pro that came with your computer."
"But, my computer came with Vista Ultimate installed on it. It is less than two weeks old."
The technician seemed a little confused, "okay, but I can send you a copy of XP Pro?"
"No thank you," I said, "my friend bought the exact same PC, and his shows the 4GB in Vista, so I don't think it is a bug."
"I see. So is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Mike?"
"I would really like to find out how to resolve this," I pleaded, "I read up a little on it on a website, but I cannot make changes to the BIOS with everything grayed out. I was hoping you could help me?"
"Unfortunately we don't offer support for other software like Bios and Vissa, but we can help you restore your system back to its original configuration if you would like?"
"No," I was started to get agitated, "I really would like see the 4GB in Vista."
Without even acknowledging my request, the rep said "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"
"But can't you tell me who else I could check with to try and find answer to this problem?"
In the same exact tone, the rep repeated "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"
I said no, and disconnected the call shortly thereafter.
I work as the desktop support now for a small town's government. Let me tell you some stories from the other side of the phone line....
======
Me: Hello, Jane. What can I do for you?
Jane: I can't access the network.
Me: (checks who's logged in - Jane is there...) You seem to be logged in. Have you just rebooted your machine?
Jane: No.
Me: Have you received any emails today or been able to access the internet?
Jane: Yes. But I have this window that says "Server Error"
Me: Do you have Internet Explorer open right now? Is that where this error window is located?
Jane: Yes.
Me: (checks internet connections - of course, it's on.) Hmmm... you seem to be connected. What site are you trying to access? Maybe it's down?
Jane: Facebook. I can't get back on Facebook and I was just in FarmVille!
Me: I'm sorry but we don't support Facebook - town policy, I'm afraid.
=======
Fred: My computer's actin' funny...
Me: What's going on?
Fred: It's beeping like crazy. Won't stop. Can you come look at it?
Me: I'll be right there....
A close inspection showed that he had two keyboards hooked up to the thing - one was on a sliding tray, the other was above it on the desktop. The keyboard on the sliding tray had a box of staples sitting on it. The box was pressing on the keyboard and causing the beeping.
Fred: Promise me you won't tell anyone.
Me: You bet cha'. ;)
========
My least favorite type of call - the one that makes my face red in an instant because my blood pressure just went through the roof is this.
Mary: (in a panic-stricken voice) I just got a virus!
Me: What makes you think that?
Mary: I got this email and clicked on a link and something downloaded. My computer just rebooted by itself.
Me: (mentally groans) I'll be right there but please don't click on anything more until I see what it's doing okay? By the way, who sent the email?
Mary: I dunno.
Me: What did it say?
Mary: Something about resetting my Outlook password - I didn't pay attention.
Me: (thinking: NO KIDDING!) Okay... I'll be right there. Did you enter your passwords or anything of the sort?
Mary: I don't remember.
Me: When did this happen?
Mary: Just now - just a moment ago.
Me: I'll be right there... hang on. (And wondered if Mary would remember who I was and why I was coming to her office....)
It was an email from a spammer with a link to a site with malware. The email addy was something like spike@hotmail.pl - gotta love it.
There's no bug in either Vista or XP in it's top access of 3 gig of memory. It actually can access 3.5 gig, and that's no matter how much memory you put in.
The only operating system that can access more than that amount is the 64-bit versions of MS Windows XP, Vista, or the new Windows 7. I don't know any more as to the why's and the wherefores, but that's basically the case.
And the 'Vissa' Indian tech support guy should have known that. ... If he was properly trained. ... Which he wasn't, ... as that would have cost Dell $$money$$. <_<
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Bolshevik
They read from scripts, and even people who work for the same company can't get them off of them.
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mstar1
I think there has been some massive lobotomization of people in general but especially those who are in "customer service".
I had such a streak of run ins with the walking brain dead zombies a month or so back----everyone that I talked to on the phone and everyone who walked into my shop...
that I put this "No Morons" sign on my workshop door
It hasnt really stopped them but it made me feel a little better
Edited by mstar1Link to comment
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RumRunner
You can take some heart Linda - smart companies realize the importance of both customer service and customer satisfaction - technically and practically two different although related items. Unfortunately companies who have sanctioned "monopolies" such as cable providers don't bother with service since you are already captive by geography, i.e. Time Warner will have some section of San Diego and Cox will have the other section - hence you as a consumer have no choice and are captive to the script reading mindless dolts who cannot think outside of their scripts. If nothing else you can always tell them that the problem needs to be escalated and you will need help removing human blood from their hardware interface units.
Always get a name and company ID (applies to IRS as well).
Always demand a supervisor
Always make a follow up call or email to corporate essentially posting what you posted here originally
Always explain that you are NO LONGER INTERESTED IN THEIR LACK OF SERVICE AND THAT YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY SWITCHING PHONE PROVIDERS (don't waste this on the dolt - use it on the supervisor and on corporate)
Always tell them you are posting the transcript on several pubic blogs and web sites.
Always tell them that if they resolve the situation immediately and satisfactorily you will not post the blogs nor contact corporate WITH THE ID AND NAME OF THE DOLT.
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krys
I once needed customer service on an IBM computer I owned. I finally was connected to a voice with a distinctive far Eastern accent which is familiar to all of us.
He wanted me to take the machine apart.....and I fell into the trap and started to do it. Then I realized what a horror show I could be into and put it all back together hung up the phone and tried again. This time I had a different but still distinctive voice. He said....we'll do one thing at a time, ok? That was just my speed. I did a few things he a asked.....then he told me to format my C drive. This was an old computer. The program disk went in drive A, the data disk went in drive B, but C was the main gizmo. I knew enough to not do that and I told him so. Then he said I could do as I liked, but if I didn't want to do what the expert suggested I was being very foolish. ahem
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Tzaia
Do you have any idea how many people would be out of a job if there weren't these technical problems and people were happy and productive?
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Ham
heh..
*snort*
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RumRunner
IBMs have a secret reset switch that repairs all. It is located on the underside of the PC. You lift the computer and smash it onto the ground underside hitting squarely with at least 16g of deceleration. The result is a net gain or one might say reverse entropy. 16g sounds like a lot but if one considers instantaneous deceleration it is roughly equivalent to dropping it off of an 9m ladder.
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waysider
The right tool for the job:
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krys
Do you think that might have worked on the person on the other side of the phone with the very distinctive eastern accent?
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krys
It's not all bad.
I would not trade my cable company for anything. When the make an appointment for between 10 and 2 on a certain day they are there ready to solve the problem usually by 11.
They have a program to control my computer from their offices to set up DNS numbers and other things that they can do a lot faster than I can when they explain it to me. When they give me instructions for resetting the cable box after it's power was interrupted...they stay on the line and ask me what the screen shows now, just to make sure the right sequence is happening. One time it didn't and they had me back out and try again.
I've had the usual defunctarroonios. (?) etc....but I have never spoken to a customer service rep who didn't know the answer to my problem......OR how to find the answer. Besides that, English is their native language.
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RumRunner
Here Linda and Krys
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Ham
hmm.. so why indeed do I hold on to my hotmail or yahoo accounts..
it would literally take me six months to get a *real* email account setup with my particlar internet provider.. at least one which really works..
really.. a half a dozen or more calls, who knows how many hours each configuring this thing..
it really isn't that important I guess..
I would have to provide a user name and password, both of which I never was privy to during the initial installation..
fine. Hotmail "works"
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krys
Ham - - - you pick your own name and password
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Ham
heh.. tell *them* that..
I was with one with a foreign accent once for some time trying to get it to work..
forget it. I'll take the internet access, use the yahoo or hotmail account..
in short, I've given up..
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Twinky
My mum is not at all techno-savvy. However, I did introduce her to the internet and she started to get interested. Not good, but she could cope. She got a supplier, Tiscali. Then after some months, the internet service went down. She has complained and complained and complained...she has had no service now for over six months. She has to ring on their premium number and they will get back to her - but never do. They still keep billing her, however. In disgust she has transferred to TalkTalk (but both Tiscali and TT are in the same Carphone Warehouse stable). She STILL hasn't got service. She has been in touch with the Ombudsman and he threatened Tiscali and they did give her a bit of a refund and did provide the MAC quite promptly once he got in touch with them.
I had problems with Tiscali myself and had to ring their premium number and go through the usual name, address, DoB, phone no, and shedloads of other information that I don't want to give - only to be given short-term help. I had to ring three times before the problem got fixed.
They have these premium lines and long-winded conversations, so that they can make money off punters.
Then they phone you back a few days later, wanting you to complete a customer satisfaction survey. Huh.
Always ask for the next highest level / supervisor. Demand a name and write down details.
I have never bothered with Tiscali's email address for me. Have had my Hotmail address for a very long time. Why should I change that for some giveaway that I never wanted in the first place? They only want me to have a Tiscali address because they are too lazy to send me a physical phone bill.
Right. Let's listen to our customers...then completely ignore them.
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geisha779
Linda,
I feel your pain sister. . . . . .
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GeorgeStGeorge
Back in my old dial-up days, we had an AOL account. I needed help for some thing or another, so I used the online chat. The responses I received seemed...mechanical to me. So I typed the question, "Are you a live person or a computer?"
The response:
"Yes."
:lol:
George
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Linda Z
That's funny, George. Yes, it's obvious they are either reading from a script or that they have a macro set up so they just hit a key that generates the answer they think fits the question.
What cracked me up was the first person telling me twice that I'd gotten their Internet chat support. I'm the one who accessed it, so I sorta already knew that.
What was even funnier was that the online chat person and the second person I got on the phone told me they could help after I told them very specifically what I wanted help with. And then after long pauses and diddling around, both said, "Sorry, I can't help you with that."
The particularly annoying thing was that the first time I called, one of the things on the voice mail menu was "Internet phone support." However, the interactive portion of the system was down, so I had to wait for a live person for 45 minutes anyway. Then the second time I called, when the interactive voice mail had been supposedly fixed, there was no option anywhere for phone problems.
What a fiasco. I was annoyed and at the same time amused at the ridiculousness of it all.
The good news is that I haven't found any difference between the quality of my phone service after the switch from AT&T to my cable provider, with unlimited long distance and the same features I had with AT&T, but for $40 less per month. I tried to get a better rate with AT&T before switching, but I got a worse runaround from them than from my cable company. The problem of poor customer service is pretty universal.
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ex70sHouston
I had a problem with the IRS.
I tried working through their operaters. The only thing they work out is when are you going to pay. After they took $11k out of my account I got to another level of operators. One finally said I was right and didn't oue the money but they couldn't do anything. She gave me the number to the tax payer advocate and they fixed the problem. The tax payer advocate is part of the IRS. Go figure.
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Jim
Here's a great dialog from thedailywtf.com...
Microsoft Vissa (from Mike Cook)
A couple years ago, after trying nearly everything to get my new Dell to work, I did the unthinkable. I called Dell's tech support. After giving the service tag and all that other jazz, I explained the problem to the technician.
"According to the BIOS," I said, "my computer has 4GB of RAM installed. But Vista Ultimate only shows 2GB."
"Hmm," the tech responded, "what is this Vissa software you are using?"
"Microsoft Vista Ultimate," I explained, "you know, the new Microsoft OS?"
The rep paused. "I'm sorry, we don't support third party software. But if you would like, I can help you restore your computer to its original state. Do you have your Dell Resource CD?"
"No, no," I countered, "this isn't third party software. It is the operating system that came with the computer when I purchased it from you."
"What is the software called again?"
"Microsoft Vista," I said slowly, "Ultimate Edition."
The rep put me on hold for a few minutes and returned several minutes later. "Where did you get this Vissa program? I will see if anyone here has heard of it."
"Well," I wasn't sure how to respond, "it's Microsoft's newest Operating System, and it is called Vista."
"Ooooh," the rep responded, "Vissa! Yes, I understand now."
I just waited for a moment.
"Well Mr. Mike," he said, "this is a problem with the Vissa software. We have notified Microsoft and they have informed us that you can not use more than 3GB of memory with this software. I suggest you uninstall it and install the XP Pro that came with your computer."
"But, my computer came with Vista Ultimate installed on it. It is less than two weeks old."
The technician seemed a little confused, "okay, but I can send you a copy of XP Pro?"
"No thank you," I said, "my friend bought the exact same PC, and his shows the 4GB in Vista, so I don't think it is a bug."
"I see. So is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Mike?"
"I would really like to find out how to resolve this," I pleaded, "I read up a little on it on a website, but I cannot make changes to the BIOS with everything grayed out. I was hoping you could help me?"
"Unfortunately we don't offer support for other software like Bios and Vissa, but we can help you restore your system back to its original configuration if you would like?"
"No," I was started to get agitated, "I really would like see the 4GB in Vista."
Without even acknowledging my request, the rep said "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"
"But can't you tell me who else I could check with to try and find answer to this problem?"
In the same exact tone, the rep repeated "so is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Mike?"
I said no, and disconnected the call shortly thereafter.
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Tzaia
Sometimes I find it helps to mimic their accent and speech cadence. They understand what we are saying better.
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ChasUFarley
I work as the desktop support now for a small town's government. Let me tell you some stories from the other side of the phone line....
======
Me: Hello, Jane. What can I do for you?
Jane: I can't access the network.
Me: (checks who's logged in - Jane is there...) You seem to be logged in. Have you just rebooted your machine?
Jane: No.
Me: Have you received any emails today or been able to access the internet?
Jane: Yes. But I have this window that says "Server Error"
Me: Do you have Internet Explorer open right now? Is that where this error window is located?
Jane: Yes.
Me: (checks internet connections - of course, it's on.) Hmmm... you seem to be connected. What site are you trying to access? Maybe it's down?
Jane: Facebook. I can't get back on Facebook and I was just in FarmVille!
Me: I'm sorry but we don't support Facebook - town policy, I'm afraid.
=======
Fred: My computer's actin' funny...
Me: What's going on?
Fred: It's beeping like crazy. Won't stop. Can you come look at it?
Me: I'll be right there....
A close inspection showed that he had two keyboards hooked up to the thing - one was on a sliding tray, the other was above it on the desktop. The keyboard on the sliding tray had a box of staples sitting on it. The box was pressing on the keyboard and causing the beeping.
Fred: Promise me you won't tell anyone.
Me: You bet cha'. ;)
========
My least favorite type of call - the one that makes my face red in an instant because my blood pressure just went through the roof is this.
Mary: (in a panic-stricken voice) I just got a virus!
Me: What makes you think that?
Mary: I got this email and clicked on a link and something downloaded. My computer just rebooted by itself.
Me: (mentally groans) I'll be right there but please don't click on anything more until I see what it's doing okay? By the way, who sent the email?
Mary: I dunno.
Me: What did it say?
Mary: Something about resetting my Outlook password - I didn't pay attention.
Me: (thinking: NO KIDDING!) Okay... I'll be right there. Did you enter your passwords or anything of the sort?
Mary: I don't remember.
Me: When did this happen?
Mary: Just now - just a moment ago.
Me: I'll be right there... hang on. (And wondered if Mary would remember who I was and why I was coming to her office....)
It was an email from a spammer with a link to a site with malware. The email addy was something like spike@hotmail.pl - gotta love it.
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GarthP2000
Jim,
There's no bug in either Vista or XP in it's top access of 3 gig of memory. It actually can access 3.5 gig, and that's no matter how much memory you put in.
The only operating system that can access more than that amount is the 64-bit versions of MS Windows XP, Vista, or the new Windows 7. I don't know any more as to the why's and the wherefores, but that's basically the case.
And the 'Vissa' Indian tech support guy should have known that. ... If he was properly trained. ... Which he wasn't, ... as that would have cost Dell $$money$$. <_<
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GarthP2000
ChasUFarley,
Now its for people like _that_ who needs a good dose of ... The Bastard Operator From Hell!!
Here's a dandy example. ;)
Now examples like that oughtta make your day, Chas, ol' buddy.
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