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Priceless Corps Moments


tomtuttle
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HCW...You bring back numerous memories for me, of the dastardly "meals" that were shoved in front of my face at Emporia.

I recall the lump of millet and brocoli...it was like eating wet cement that had some green stuff in it...nasty.

I was one of the "I'll eat ANTHING I can chew" guys...I remember being hungry ALL THE TIME when I was at Emporia. I lived for those nights when the barf burgers were sold after the fellowship...I recall almost getting into a fist fight over an extra banana that some girl left on her plate...this other guy (who was a real "dufus"), grabbed for the banana at the same time I did...it was ugly.

My worst memory was when they had sent us to town to go "witnessing" and we were supposed to be back in time for dinner...(they were having strawberry shortcake that night...the only thing that was actually good), the guy I was "teamed" with wouldn't quit talking to this townie...I was looking at my watch and tapping my foot...finally we headed back to campus...ran into the cafeteria...20 seconds too late. I sat there starving, watching everybody eat the strawberry shortcake...

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waterbuffalo, after our dear marth innocently told craig he did not have to get her an ashtray (that's what she told me she thought he was getting at in the beginning).....

he went on to "share" the protocol / etiquette in IF YOU DON'T SEE AN ASHTRAY, YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO SMOKE

marth did stomp it out in her plate, by the way

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I was kicked out of the corps (for about 10 minutes) and was stupid enough to stay.

And actually it was for a good reason. As part of my job I had access to some of the way's tapes and I had been making copies for my personal collection. When vpw found out about it, he told me to "pack my bags". I was so distraught I talked to Bob Moynihan who said "He didn't say to leave, just to pack your bags. You better do what he said." So I did. We had a big corps meeting that night where I think we were all yelled at about other stuff and in the process my name was mentioned as having done something really stupid. Vpw said he's see me in the back after the meeting.

In the backroom he asked if I had packed my bags and I was glad to be able to say yes. Then asked what I had to say for myself and I appologized so he told me I could stay.

But the kicker is that since my situation was public (though the details of my crime were not) tons of people in our elder corps kept coming up to me and telling me how they had been kicked out at some point too. I started feeling like I was part of the club.

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I was eating supper with my Twig at Emporia. Good buddy John Drake (WC 15) was sitting across from me. Jim W****sheim, our Twig leader, was praying. We had white bean soup that night, and I had already pushed mine out from me a little bit to make it a plurality. As Jim W. prayed, I happened to "open mine eyes" as the exact moment John Drake opened his, AND at the exact same moment a soupy COCKROACH crawled out of my soup bowl like a creature out of the primordial slime!

John had been having some "issues" with Jim W, so he politely offered Jim my soup (they usually fought over extras) ... it was priceless.

Susan Propst

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Thanks, ex!!

HCW, I'm surprised you didn't mention the pear and raisin formaldehyde-wierd-stuff with yoghurt they used to feed us for breakfast. OOughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! It still makes me sick just to think about it.

Then one day, we got to RATE the meals, and yes, there WAS a GOd. The pear-formaldehyde-wierd-stuff was on it and guess what its rating was?

BEAM IT UP SCOTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(LIke they couldn't tell how much everyone hated it by the plurality bowls not being big enough to hold all of it everytime we had it for breakfast)!

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Another priceless Corps Moments ... during our interim year, Michael F**t had shared with the 13th Corps about his Corps (8th) being kicked out of the Corps on at least two occasions by Dr. W. He told it as an amusing anecdote, and it WAS. Then he advised us just to "stay cool" if we were ever thrown out of the Corps as a group, and that shortly, we would be invited back in.

Fast forward to right after HoHoRelo at Camp Gunnison. Tom J. asks all the staff to leave the Dining Room and go upstairs with him. All the 13th Corps there (many of whom spent their interim year at HQ and had heard Michael's speech) were laughing and talking ... then Tom J. came down and had us take off our Corps nametags and lay them on a table. He threw us all out of the Corps. Many people were freaking out ... but noticeably, those of us who had been warned about how to deal with such an eventuality just thought to ourselves, "TJ is such an a**h**e ... I'll just keep my cool and he will invite us to write a letter or some such within 24 hours" -- and he did. But I still should have left ... oh well, live and learn.

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Good memories: M!ch@el F*rt standing at the head table, holding his young son, Sk*l*r, in his arms, letting him "talk" to us.(mostly just syllables at that time) Then pretending Sk*l*r wouldn't let go of the microphone and fighting him for it. Hilarious!

Bad memories: When some pompous idiot would get on the mic because it was their birthday and would go on and on and on and on... oh my gawd, would somebody just shoot that guy!?!!

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Yeah, droning on on their birthdays...

One guy went on and on during his "birthday speech" aboout how he was now "living in the Land of the Giants" and somehow had co-related his coming into the Way Corps with that old television show The Land of the Giants.

Richrad Th*mas finally tells him to sit down and shut up, and then goes into his opinion of those who did such things, with the admonition to keep it short and sweet.

Then, a couple days later, this gal, Judy Sz*m*ky, gets up with her guitar and sings a song she wrote called "Daddy's Girl" which was all about her life story, and it seemed to go on forever, while Richard T, in the background was half smiling and shaking his head in a "you got me on that one" sort of a way.

When she was done, we all laughed and cheered as RT shook his head with a defeated smile..

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For those who were never blessed to have been in the corps program, if you knew the people involved in these sto-ries and their personalities, you could "see it yet", so living & real ...

Our last year in res was the 11th's 1st year, and because there were so maany of them, maany of us married couples had to share rooms with an 11th corps couple. We had bunk beds in these rooms in those days, retrieved from the river-bed dry pool in Allen gym (how many corps ever even stepped INSIDE Allen gym?? I'll bet some didn't even realize the gym was part of the Emporia campus. WHY didn't they ever fill it up with water and let us SWIM???!!!). Anyways, these bunk beds had frames of wrought iron, weighed 100 lbs apiece, with old wire springs for mattress support. Me & wifey had claimed bottom bunk, leaving the top to the newbie 11th couple. When the 11th corps couple arrived for the 1st day in res, they had the husband's parents come with them.

PM #1: The expression on the parents' faces when they realized we were SHARING the same bedroom.

PM #2: Come 'loving' time for the upper bunk couple, their every move made those iron springs spring into a loud squeaking, as of a rushing, mighty wind. I had to put a pillow over wifies face to muffle her laughter.

PM #3: One late night, the upper bunk couple, rising up a great while before day, were in the middle of 'knowing' each other, and I had to spring a leak (common male term for urination). Well, as soon as I rose out of the lower bunk, lo and behold I see the gal riding trigger, paps 'a swayin' and butts a' rockin'. They either didn't see me or didn't care, as the hour of power kept on going. I am thankful to this day for the vee-sion God shewed me that night.

PM #4: At Gunnison under the reign of TJ (not Tick Jr), after getting my lunch, I headed over to Simon's table. Noticing a few 11th corps sitting there already, I stepped up behind the one sitting next to Simon and barked sharply, "MOVE !!!!" (like some earthly truck driver). This was not unusual to Simon and me, as we would greet each other with a "Dammit, how the F@@K are you?" on campus, just to keep spiritually sharp. Well, at the end of the announcments after lunch, LCM gets on the horn and say's "Tom T, please meet with me and TJ in cabin 2 immediately.". So I thought maybe God was moving over to give me a 'spacial' place in heaven. Wrong. I got lamblasted. Some 11th corps ratted me out, saying I was a bully. I got a lecture from LCM (TJ only sitting there nodding in spiritual agreement) about because of my size, I had to go the extra mile to be gentle, as I might be intimidating to smaller people. I told him I was only JOKING, that I thought it was OBVIOUS I was joking. I suppose the humor of Simon & I was too great a blessing for some ...

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quote:
PM #3: One late night, the upper bunk couple, rising up a great while before day, were in the middle of 'knowing' each other, and I had to spring a leak (common male term for urination). Well, as soon as I rose out of the lower bunk, lo and behold I see the gal riding trigger, paps 'a swayin' and butts a' rockin'. They either didn't see me or didn't care, as the hour of power kept on going. I am thankful to this day for the vee-sion God shewed me that night.

Ah, the more abundant wife. icon_wink.gif;)-->

JT

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Damn Tom! That sounds downright kinky! As a young single 22 year old in the Corps, I always wondered about what went on behind those closed doors! I had no idea it was so, so, shall we say, progressive?

Maybe it was an effort to introduce group sex? A little "swapping?" Hell, who woulda known?

Damn that's pretty funny. I imagine at a moment like that, one could have become weakened in one's Corps comittment by saying to oneself; "Why am I really here God?"

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Rev. Tuttle, you have inspired me, that is, in m'mind.

Ist year in rez, 10th Corps. 2:30 a.m. in the Bless Patrol office.

My midnight to 2:00 a.m. shift is over. No relief for me. She shoulda' been there at 2:00 a.m.

I go to Owens Hall to wake her. I walk into girls open dorm room. I know what she looks like in that she is a friend, but don't know where her bed is.

I sneak through the room looking at sleeping faces, fearing that the girls will awaken and shriek at my male presence.

Finally, I find her. On a top bunk, lying on her back at my eye level. I do a double take as I realize that she is in her full glory, stark nekked!

Taken totally by surprise, I finally look away, walk halfway to the door thinking; "f**k it, let her sleep, I can't wake her up like that".

Then I think; "No, dammit! She needs to relieve me! I need to get at least two hours of sleep tonight! It's not my fault that she decided to sleep in thew "buff"! I only want to get some rest, is that so wrong? ?"

I go back, eye level again, only looking at her face tying not to take at least one more glance at her breasts, and whisper in her ear; "Ga*l! Time to get up! Bless Patrol! Yer late!"

She sits bolt upright, looks down at her nakedness, looks at me and screams; "You sonofabit*h! What the **** are you doing in here?! Get the **** outa here you lousy rotten blankety blank....."

I try to calm her, explain that I only want to be relieved, but she's not listening, only yelling. Surley she could see that I was only looking at her face! But no...

I run for the door. Other women see me. I hear some of them scream. I hear their words; "Who is it Ga*l? How long was he in here? Get outa here you ba*tard! Did he touch you? etc etc."

I'm freakin . I sprint all the way back to the maintenance bldg/BP office. One roving Bless Patrol person sees me running as I streak between Wierwille Library and Kenyon Hall. Goes for his radio...

Oh-My-Gawd! Now I'm a peeping Tom! I didn't ask for this! All I wanted was "more harmony in the home!"

At BP office, I sit in a chair catching my breath as BP people show up to find out what happened. I tell them, they burst out laughing.

Ga*l shows up madder'n a wet hen and starts railing on me. Her TC, an elder Corps man interrupts and tells her that it was what she gets for not waking up and being on time. Everyone laughs again. She gets red, but starts to laugh, but only a little.

Relieved, I go home to the Hallowed Halls of Uncle Harry Hall Highrise but still fearing reprisals. Ga*l and I remained friends however. I winked at her a time or two during meetings, to which her usual response was an extended middle finger, but also accompanied with a grin..

Edited by Jonny Lingo
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posted this in the 11th corpse thread, but thought I would post it here for those of you who don't read THAT forum:

Posted Feb 10, 5:48 PM

We never needed the plurality plate at IC. Once when our dinner was baked potatoes and salad, well for some reason there were lots of extra potatoes on everyone's table.

We all decided to take our extra to Alan Jewett.(f7-funny guy)

he said, "thank you" to each and every person and each and every table brought them to him. God it was funny during clean up when he had these platters FULL of baked potatoes.

Also once the kitchen made some lousy lemon desert, it was so bad nobody ate it. (we called it lemon rubber). In the kitchen that night, me and wilma willman (married charlie parsons) took the left over desert to a lot of our corpse familys room, knocked and said, "room service" left the crap at the door and ran off.

We laughed our butts off of course, but not sure they saw the humor,

It was almost as funny as the time we short sheeted several of their beds!!

we were baaaaaad, baaaaaad girls!!

geeze that is only some of my funny stories.

f7 was as wacky and crazy as 11th!! a great mix of fun!

suzie

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my first year in the 10th we ate everything that was set in front of us...the portions were about right5 for a 100 lb. female on a diet.

I ate the broccoli millet casserole gladly. I ate everything except the liver...even ate the borscht.

The 11th Corps had John Lynn there and that's when it changed.

I lost 30 lbs in the first two months. You 'member that, Jonny Lingo?

Never knew what constant hunger was till the Corpse in residence.

But gee, some of the incidents are hilarious, and most of the people were great.

There i was, standing on the Wierwille Library steps on that beeeeeeaaauuuutifoooool autumn day........

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Oh yeah Engine, I remember that! I ate everything including the greased BB's. Wheat Berries I think they were? I went in at 178 and dropped to 160 real quick. I also ran a whole lot, which is something I had never done in my life. Hmm, less food and regular exercise. Not a bad concept, really...

And the people! How can we forget 'em? Must be why we hang out here. I remembe you fore shore. I was in some skit with you and Jeff Probes. Something to do with Jaques DeMolay, whoever the h that was..

But one time Bryce Shirley and I sat at a table full of women, who would have nothing to do with the liver and onions. well, I have never been a big fan of liver and onions, but, since every bit of it (but Bryce and mine) ended up on the common plate, Bryce and I gleefully gorged ourselves on every last morsel. But, the girls looked at us as if we belonged in a cage or something. The hostess tried to tell us that we practicing the sin of gluttony. But did we care? Naa. We gobbled it all. Maybe we needed protein...

Edited by Jonny Lingo
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I've read all your wonderful posts here and I wish I had something funny to post.

I've thought long and hard...and nothing...absolutely nothing comes to mind.

The only funny thing I remember in the way corps was my friend B*B E*chus. We were inseperable.

He made me laugh...all day long. We just laughed and laughed and laughed. We were usually laughing at the zealot idiots we saw around campus. anim-smile.gif

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I was in the 10th Corps for a year and then went back in to the 14th. I remember so many of these incidents and occassions. I vividly remember how hungry all the guys were at lunch and supper.

Unfortunately, there was this one kid in the 14th Corps who thought with his stomach. As many of you will remember, the only food one could have on their solo (later called "duo") [for those of you not familiar with the program, the duo was a 3 day survival/alone time with God... no meals just water) was the food they saved and horded throughout the week of climbing rocks. Most of us men, never had anything saved.

This one kid was on his "duo" and by the 2nd day was ready to eat the bark off his lean-to. We had all heard stories of people having the odd moment of an animal approaching their area and the person catching it and having a gross meal. He figured he could do the same. So he climbed a tree. Got high enough, he could see the Corps residence. He climbed down and proceed towards the direction of the building absolutely sure he would have a great meal that day...........HE WAS LOST FOR 3 DAYS. When the staff finally found him he was almost looney.

Needless to say when he hitched back to Emporia he was dismissed. I felt sorry for him, but I knew it was right for him to leave....I almost asked him to send me cigarettes or Copenhagen.

anim-smile.gif

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