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The Way kid - now an adult


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I was born in '78. Legend has it that Mom and Dad met in the Corps and didn't like each other. Then they fell in love - and I came along. I grew up on Way albums - not tapes or CDs - and Rock of Ages. My dad led Twig.

The years right before and after the family left were really hard. It took 6 or 7 years for Mom and Dad to go to fellowship again on a regular basis - and then it was to hang out with ex-Wayfers and sing the same songs, say the same prayers. Deja vu. I couldn't hack it for long. I was big into Dale Sides for a few years. It's ten years later, and I am happily Catholic. I like the ritual, the quiet, the softness of my church in the morning light. Going through RCIA was hard; it brought up a lot of memories, and I felt vaguely guilty and like I was doing something wrong. My sister helped me through that. She is Methodist and leads the worship team at her church. Mom and Dad... well, they are still kind of loners, I think. I am, too, when it comes to worship. I found the term "love bombing" when I was doing research on TWI - and now I get why I like to be alone in church and why I go to a big place where talking to others and making friends isn't necessary. Someday I will become more a part of my church's community. For now, hearing the Bible without getting sick to my stomach is enough of a joy for me.

Overall, I am blessed. At this moment, I am so happy to be able to talk to you all - people who get it. People who get that TWI years gave us some joyful moments and a lot of pain, too. My husband has a hard time identifying with the stories I tell - and my friends get a little antsy when I bring up TWI. It's hard to feel isolated like that - like I did something wrong by being born into a Way family. My aunts and uncles were in TWI, too. About ten years ago, I was at a Dale Sides event, and someone called out my last name. He recognized me because I look like my dad's family. It was a fun moment. I miss that sense of community at times. For me, that is/was one of the hardest aspects of exiting TWI - the sense of loss of community and family.

I named my son Jamie. I sing "Love Child" to my daughter. When I am stressed, I sing "In the Garden". I have the fondest memories of women in long skirts and long hair. Picnics. Just writing this is bringing back the names of my childhood. The faces. The joy of family.

I am not sure what I am looking for here at GreaseSpot. Maybe I am not looking for anything. I am just glad to be here.

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At the very least Luna, you have many folks who know how you feel. :)

Edited by JeffSjo
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It's ten years later, and I am happily Catholic. I like the ritual, the quiet, the softness of my church in the morning light. Going through RCIA was hard; it brought up a lot of memories, and I felt vaguely guilty and like I was doing something wrong. My sister helped me through that. She is Methodist and leads the worship team at her church. Mom and Dad... well, they are still kind of loners, I think. I am, too, when it comes to worship. I found the term "love bombing" when I was doing research on TWI - and now I get why I like to be alone in church and why I go to a big place where talking to others and making friends isn't necessary. Someday I will become more a part of my church's community. For now, hearing the Bible without getting sick to my stomach is enough of a joy for me.

Overall, I am blessed. At this moment, I am so happy to be able to talk to you all - people who get it. People who get that TWI years gave us some joyful moments and a lot of pain, too. My husband has a hard time identifying with the stories I tell - and my friends get a little antsy when I bring up TWI. It's hard to feel isolated like that - like I did something wrong by being born into a Way family. My aunts and uncles were in TWI, too. About ten years ago, I was at a Dale Sides event, and someone called out my last name. He recognized me because I look like my dad's family. It was a fun moment. I miss that sense of community at times. For me, that is/was one of the hardest aspects of exiting TWI - the sense of loss of community and family.

I know exactly how you feel, Luna! I was raised in twi as well, and I also love the Catholic church I attend with my husband's family for the same reasons. Our daughter was baptized in the Catholic church and it was beautiful. I love the ritual and the choice to simply sit and hear what is taught. And then leave. I am thinking about converting, but the idea of taking the classes to become confirmed reminds me too much to taking classes in the Way. I can't say I am over my hurt yet. I don't know when I will be, but at least I can sit in a church service and not break into tears anymore. I am so glad to see you here!

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Welcome! You can laugh, cry, shout, scream or just say nothing here at the Cafe. We understand.

You can change your mind, try new ideas, laugh at old ideas. Lots of nooks and crannies to explore at the Cafe. Even a reading room!

Anyway, draw up a chair, let's have a chat over a cup of coffee. You have the cake, I need to shed a few pounds.

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I know exactly how you feel, Luna! I was raised in twi as well, and I also love the Catholic church I attend with my husband's family for the same reasons. Our daughter was baptized in the Catholic church and it was beautiful. I love the ritual and the choice to simply sit and hear what is taught. And then leave. I am thinking about converting, but the idea of taking the classes to become confirmed reminds me too much to taking classes in the Way. I can't say I am over my hurt yet. I don't know when I will be, but at least I can sit in a church service and not break into tears anymore. I am so glad to see you here!

No lie - RCIA rocked my world. I told my priest about TWI - and he dealt with it well. He was supportive as much as he knew how to be. I'm here if you ever want to ask about my experience in RCIA.

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No lie - RCIA rocked my world. I told my priest about TWI - and he dealt with it well. He was supportive as much as he knew how to be. I'm here if you ever want to ask about my experience in RCIA.

thanks, Luna! I might just do that!

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  • 4 months later...

Thanks for sharing, I find myself at Home in the Catholic Church, I was raised in it,went to Catholic School and did not really plan on leaving that Faith when I first found The Way International.

I just really wanted to study the bible. I found a lot of people were Catholics before they got into The Way International,took the class and suddenly BAM(it was Us and Them in my head)

I find peace in my years later,not in church going but in remembering how I was raised as a Catholic. Life is Balanced...and whenever I can I like to walk into an EMPTY Catholic Church look at Jesus Christ on The Cross(that is a BIG (((HUGE))) thing

that I do and in reverance kneel and know He knows me,my heart .

I sometimes will just sit there for a while and then leave. Always with a smile on my face and in my heart. I am not religious

about it just Real.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Luna,

Thanks.

I became Catholic after twi.

Agreed with the kindness of the Catholic place.

Priests don't yell at you. (I never heard it). Also they don't insult other faiths. Also the humility that is developed by bowing before the image of the Lord going in and out. Also the "peace be to you" both to the priest and to the other members. Also the unity of eveyone getting communion in a flow of the one Body. Also people caring more about their own personal standing before the Lord than about others. Certianly there is Mass so often at so many different churches that people can't worry about you just because they don't see you at church.

You can tell a tree by its fruit and some of the nicest people I have ever known have been Catholic.

A lot of stuff I find so comforting in the Catholic way.

Thanks for the reminder before I head out to church :)

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks for sharing, I find myself at Home in the Catholic Church, I was raised in it,went to Catholic School and did not really plan on leaving that Faith when I first found The Way International.

I just really wanted to study the bible. I found a lot of people were Catholics before they got into The Way International,took the class and suddenly BAM(it was Us and Them in my head)

I find peace in my years later,not in church going but in remembering how I was raised as a Catholic. Life is Balanced...and whenever I can I like to walk into an EMPTY Catholic Church look at Jesus Christ on The Cross(that is a BIG (((HUGE))) thing

that I do and in reverance kneel and know He knows me,my heart .

I sometimes will just sit there for a while and then leave. Always with a smile on my face and in my heart. I am not religious

about it just Real.

I have been having trouble going to mass lately... ok, for almost a year now. I feel alone when I am at mass. But when I go into the church all alone, I feel warm and embraced. I wish I could puzzle this one out so that I can go to mass happily. I miss mass.

It is hard not to attribute every dark corner of my life to TWI. It is hard to realize that other things have happened in my life - happy and sad. It could be that I am going through yet another season of forgiveness... and as much as they are uncomfortable, if I just get on with the forgiving, I can get on with everything else faster, too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have been having trouble going to mass lately... ok, for almost a year now. I feel alone when I am at mass. But when I go into the church all alone, I feel warm and embraced. I wish I could puzzle this one out so that I can go to mass happily. I miss mass.

It is hard not to attribute every dark corner of my life to TWI. It is hard to realize that other things have happened in my life - happy and sad. It could be that I am going through yet another season of forgiveness... and as much as they are uncomfortable, if I just get on with the forgiving, I can get on with everything else faster, too.

You might be interested in getting in contact with Deacon Joe Pasquella (former TWI and now a Catholic deacon up in Buffalo). (posted here for a while as joepascha). His conversion story is here. He might be able to give you some info or support that you could use.

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  • 1 year later...

i dont see how anyone could become a roman catholic. talk about throwing up ! my grandma was an rc and sent my mother to rc shcools and raised her rc and we were raised rc sent to rc schools and that was a great thing. we went to several different rc churches and then one day i realised that the rc churches were dark. yes dark as in spiritual darkness. i was about 15 at the time and quit going to church and that caused lots of problems with my parents. i was punished and finally they said i didnt have to go. about 9 years later i prayed to GOD to show me someone or some group that would teach me the truth about HIM. a few weeks later i was thinking i should go to a certain store and right after i went inside a guy came up to me and started talking about GOD and then invited me to a fellowship. that was around febuary of 1980. you will not find the truth in the roman catholic church. ypung boys run the risk of getting poked by a homo priest. if it sickens you to read the accuracy of the WORD then your definitly being attacked or possessed by the devil. i dont care if you dont believe me just look at THE WORD. yeah a lotta bad dang happened at twi by false teachers that came in. THE WORD of GOD says in Peter that there SHALL BE false teachers that SHALL come in. they have to be kicked out. there are some that lurk here to cause trouble. dont ask me to name names cause i wont. just beware that the roman catholic doctrine is false doctrine. i should also mention that i went to the rc sunday school that was taught by the head priest. you know those of you that grew up in a way household should get on your knees and be thankful you had decent parents. i grew up in a house full of tortue. my dad busted my head open in a fit of rage when i was about 5 yo. when i asked my mom why she didnt grab me and leave him right then she didnt have an answer. in the 5th grade my dad became a violent drunk and would beat the dang out of me on a regular basis because he didnt like that fact the raising children cost money. before the start of the 11th grade my dad was on a drunken binge and my mom was out of town at her mothers. i came in the house and my dad pocked up his vodka and came at me cussing with the bottle held back in a hitting position. i ran down the street. i treid to get the cops to come but they blew me off as they had done before. i went back inside and this was the 1st of 2 times i got my shotgun and was going to kill my dad. i drove 100 miles instead and lived with my mothers mother. about 6 months later and promises by my dad that he would hurt me anymore i came back home so i could go back to school. i was 17 years old at the time. shortly after i came back my dad tore my bedroom door off the hinges and came at me. i managed to get passed him and ran down the street and waited in the dark night for a couple of hour untill i thought he had passed out. i went in my room and my dad had destroyed my drum set. i got my shotgun and headed back to the bedroom to kill him. the thought of me going to prison kept hitting my mind so i put the gun away grabbed some clothes and went to my grandmothers to live again. a few weeks later my da came down and saw me in a parking lot with some friends. it was 1975 in a mccomb mississippi and we would leave the keys in the ignition if we were hanging out in a parking lot. my dad got out of his car and got in mine cranked it up and was putting it in 1st and reverse and popping the clutch to try to break it. then he pushed the pedal to the floor to try to blow the engine. i ran to the hood and opened it and pulled the coil wire off. my dad got out and was going to start a fight with a friend of mine but the cops drove up. my dad tried to blame it us but the cops smelled alcohol on my dads breath and told him to leave. they told us to leave to. there was a guy there that i didnt know that went to his car and got a pistol and was headed back to kill my dad because he didnt know why the crazy man was. the cops showed up before he could kill him. so all of you that didnt like growing up in a way household but had good parents should get on your knees and thank GOD you didnt have a violent dad and weak stand by your husband mother like i did. i never finished high school. i got my ged later. as soon as i was able i moved 2000 miles from mississippi and will never live there again becase of all the horrible memories of the tortue i went through. i will be glad and rejoice the day my devil possessed dad dies ! yeah you people that bad mouth your decent parents becaue you were raised in a good setting can trade with me if someone invents a time machine(fos)! i'v heard a few unthankfull young adults bad mouth their way parents. if you had(have) loving parnets and live in a nice home setting you outta be so dam thankful ! soem of us had it real bad and even though what i went through wasnt sexual there are people that have ben raped by their dads !!! just think about this the next time you want to COMPLAIN about growing up in a way hosehold weather your parents were way core or just plain believers. i'm 54 years of age and the tortue i went through was so great it seems like it just happened. i thank GOD for the wow vet that witnessed to me. GODS WORD healed me and kept me from going comitting suicide. yeah i might have gone back and blown my dads head off and then blown mine off. if your parents are good then be thanful and love them back !

Edited by shiftthis
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I have been having trouble going to mass lately... ok, for almost a year now. I feel alone when I am at mass. But when I go into the church all alone, I feel warm and embraced. I wish I could puzzle this one out so that I can go to mass happily. I miss mass.

It is hard not to attribute every dark corner of my life to TWI. It is hard to realize that other things have happened in my life - happy and sad. It could be that I am going through yet another season of forgiveness... and as much as they are uncomfortable, if I just get on with the forgiving, I can get on with everything else faster, too.

you will always feel alone because GOD isnt in that place. the "only" thing you will find there is darkness. i'm not talking about the people necessarily cause there might be a lot of people there that love GOD but dont know that they will never learn about HIM there.

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Have you considered that "they" may feel the same about your organization?

You know. "some of them are nice.. loving.. helpful.. but for the MOST PART.. they are a bunch of nazified control freaks.." or words to that effect.

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I've actually had people tell me.. "We like YOU.. but the rest of the outfit, blecch.."

I should have listened at the time..

:biglaugh:

The last half dozen "leaders" in the state and branch.. would make your worst impression of a nun appear like a warm, kind-hearted soul in comparison.

Then there was the guy who ran the state.. his greatest claim to fame was learning in the corps (from whom, I have no idea..) not to mix his bread and vegetables at the same meal, as to prevent gastric and intestinal attacks from da adversary.

No kidding.. he had a dull, stupid look in his eyes, fondly speaking of his bread and vegetables..

:biglaugh:

he's probably on the current prez's cabinet now..

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dearest shiftthis, my heart breaks for you. i had very similar circumstances growing up. i agree with you on many points and i pray and hope for your heart (i'm 56)

--

i personally am not a fan of the catholic church having grown up in it (12 years rc school, working at the rectory starting at age 14, having my 2 youngest brothers molested and ruined by a pedophile priest who had been thrown out of other dioceses and brought to ours to destroy my brothers, etc. etc, etc.)

but i do believe god (and christ) can find anyone anywhere -- i really believe that

so that would include the damn catholic church and the damn way lol

love,

e

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  • 1 month later...

I no longer feel at home in the catholic church(other than being raised that way)I like the cermoney of mass(but when it comes to saints and mary worship I just stand there and don't agree!) I like empty catholic churches because I guess that brings me back to some childhood meaning . But I found a church I like now,and I keep it simple and still love the Lord. It takes awhile to get where you want to be and when you get there,it is Freedom.

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  • 1 month later...

dear cher, i have always loved an empty catholic church since i was a little girl

Then you would sure appreciate Holy Cross-Immaculata here in Cincinnati.

http://www.hciparish.org/

I've trekked the stairs up there more than once and sat inside when it was empty. Quite the marvel.

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