Yes, I was because it wasn't real to me. I struggled with this for almost 20 years while in. I didn't want to disregard the doctrine. That was major bondage to me.
There are quite a few here who were involved in a thread and said they made up their interpretations. I will see if I can try to find that thread. I no longer believe in the way twi taught to sit with interpretation and prophecy. It is not part of my life today, and I do not miss it.
Comfort and exhortation were the goal, but it sure seemed redundant a lot. We were told that if we kept hearing the same things that it meant that God REALLY wanted us to hear it. I think it was a result of poor people HEARING things over and over and over. Rarely would I hear new stuff.
I remember two separate incidents when Weirwille came up to Canada to visit, the first incident was a twig fellowship, I was a new grad and I hadn't learned to SIT and interpret yet, but sure enough Weirwille called on me to do it, well I just froze and in the believer's meeting I blurted out "I haven't learned to do it yet" So much for Weirwille receiving revelation on who to call to manifest! When the meeting had ended my twig co-ordinator came over and said "if anything you could of aleast tried, when the "Man of God" calls on you to manifest, YOU JUST DO IT!"
The other incident was a branch fellowship, Weirwille was there leading the meeting and sure enough again he calls on me to manifest, by that time I was not convinced that interpretation of tongues was genuine so I made the whole thing up. Everyone thought it was great and no one knew any different!
The reason I never thought the interpretation of tongues was genuine was the Twig Co-ordinator who was supposedly helping me with it said if you don't have the first few words just make them up and the rest will be there, so from then on I never thought it was the real thing.
So yeah to answer your question, YES I was always scared shi#@### to manifest !!
I have to tell you one more thing that happened to me in regards to learning how to speak in tongues. One of my co-ordinators came over to my place and had just led me into doing it. I was so excited and higher than a kite, I could finally do it!! Well after he left my place I was still pretty excited and I thought I should tape it, to hear what it sounded like. At the time I wasn't sure if I should, maybe I wasn't allowed to or God wouldn't approve of it, but I just had to do it!! I was both scared and excited at the same time! Well I taped about 2 minutes worth. And because of my excitement I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, I pressed the fast forward button instead of rewind so when I went to play it I couldn't hear anything on the tape. Well I just froze, I was stunned, the thoughts running through my head, WOW you can't even tape this stuff, it's so spiritual, so powerful, talk about mind blowing!!!!! So for two whole months I carried this huge secret with me until one day I played the tape again and came across it and realized what I had done. Boy did I ever feel dumb!!
no...but mostly because I noticed that the same people were "called upon" time after time
I noticed that it had nothing to do with the needs of the people there (as had been disclaimed by leader....) but with whom the leader.... thought would come up with the best "party line"
I began noticing this in-rez...and was able to predict with total accuracy whom would be called upon.
Once on the field and after getting out and being in an off-.... in Tallahassee, FL...I noticed the same thing.
The same people were called on consistently.
Spiritual perception and awareness was rarely seen.
It was very sad...those who either really had a gift (and I am so NOT saying that *I* had/have that gift, but I saw others who *DID*) or who were unpracticed were ignored.
Oh one more thing...............I could never understand that when it came to the interpretation and prophecy why was it always given in the KING JAMES, like thou, thee, shalt etc., how come not just good old regular english and don't tell me it's because we read the bible in KING JAMES ?!!
I was in a fellowship meeting once where no one was called upof for SIT or prophecy - and yet there came a point in the meeting where it just seemed absolutely natural for it to happen, and 3 people were SO inspired that they just did it in turn. That was bar none THE hottest meeting I was ever a part of.
I was able to sit right away just from reading the holy spirit book, but my twig guy didn't want me to intrepret at twig until compeleting piffle for some reason.
I had no trouble with intrepretating but grew tired of it after awhile as it was the same all the time. I was always so concerned the intrepretation was never longer than the tongue and it was in the correct tense and all that garbage. Took the fun out of it.
Catholic charismatics were the ones who taught me how to speak in tongues. Then (years later) -- in a twig, I was called on to sit, and interpret, before having had the intermediate class. I did it just fine, and some comments from the others there at that meeting were "wow!! you could interpret, and you haven't even taken the intermediate class yet!!"
The twig leader (I forget who it was now), caught holy hell for calling on an *uninitiated* person to do the manifestations!
I did it just like docvic said it should be done, and now I know that he was absolutely wrong about his *version* of interpretation of tongues, and what I did at that meeting was actually a word of prophecy (even though it was prefaced by the s.i.t.), and NOT an interpretation of the tongues that preceded it.
But I think all were blessed by it anyway. I know I was! :)-->
No, I was never paranoid or nervous, mainly because I already knew exactly what I was going to say in case I got nailed.
Basically, the same "words" every time, which sounded like the first person who showed me who sounded exactly like VP in the last session of pfal. The "interpretation" may have changed a tiny bit, but not much, so no sweat.
I'm a good Boy Scout so I believed in being prepared.
I could rattle off a tongues and interpretation , no sweat. I never once believed it was 'from God', but neither did I make it up beforehand. After thousands of believers meetings, and a storehouse of wayspeak ingrained, it became second nature to call on that, with the interpretation the same legth as the tongues. Wow.
My favorite intermediate class incident was an 'excellor session' (yuck) where this guy sit's, then says 'lord help me to accept the things I can't change, and to change the things that I can'or whatever that saying is. A woman in the group then says' Oh-I have that on my refrigerator'.
Oh hiway, how funny...how did you keep a straight face when that woman said she had it on her refrigerator?
At my first advanced class someone decided that we all needed to practice singing our tounges with interpretation. I have always had this fear about singing in front of anyone...so I refused and caught flack for it. Hey, you know how people were always telling you to face your fears and you'll get deliviered? Sometimes that's just shookey-doo. What the heck does God almighty care if you don't sing? It's very liberating to just refuse to do what you're afraid of, especially if there is no point in doing it in the first place. I wish I would have refused to go along with everything else that didn't make sense, but wish in one hand and $**! in the other...see which gets full faster. :)-->
I'm with Hiway29. I got to where I could rattle off something if called on. Sometimes I would think through the first couple of words, but the rest of it just came out once I got started. I could never buy that it was "from God" because it was always laced with the "phrase of the week" or whatever agenda TWI was pushing at the time.
I also remember vee pee talking about being okay to say whatever God told you to say and gave the "I hollared and hollared" example, but while I was in, if someone were to talk like that they would get scolded and told that God didn't talk like that.
Many times "manifestations" were a real inspiration and blessing..and I took them with a big grain of salt.
Many times in a meeting,when I was there to hear the Word and get my heart tenderized and when I least felt like I was a ripe candidate to "manifest," I was called on to do so.
I always did. And it was never made up...it was instant and honest, to the point and right from the heart. Whether it was inspiration, in spirit action, or whatever, I always just gave it to God and acted immediately.
What always blew my mind was that it was easy to relinquish whatever baggage I walked in with...and let God move in me to do as He pleased, and believingly, hopefully, lovingly let those words flow.
I am not a phony, nor am I delusional. It was always a personal affirmation to me, that I was not just making things up...I spoke as the Spirit moved me to do so...and I don't mean that in some supersilious religious way.
Now I should say, (if, in fact anyone is reading this far into the post) that I have never seen or heard "manifestations" as such, anywhere else but in a twig fellowship...and many times I heard struggling folks speak in contrived, unnatural language...a religious affection, if you will...but heartfelt...even that I could take at face value...just listening and applying the heart of it, or just letting the words sandblast off a spiritual crustiness that often barnacled its way onto me.
God is no piker and a fool to be trifled with. I think He works with us where ever our hearts are ripe to receive Him.
"Many times "manifestations" were a real inspiration and blessing..and I took them with a big grain of salt.
Many times in a meeting, when .... I was called on to do so. I always did. And it was never made up...it was instant and honest, to the point and right from the heart. Whether it was inspiration, in spirit action, or whatever, I always just gave it to God and acted immediately.
What always blew my mind was that it was easy to relinquish whatever baggage I walked in with...and let God move in me to do as He pleased, and believingly, hopefully, lovingly let those words flow.
I am not a phony, nor am I delusional. It was always a personal affirmation to me, that I was not just making things up...I spoke as the Spirit moved me to do so...and I don't mean that in some supersilious religious way."
I agree entirely. This has been 100% my experience with SIT.
"God is no piker and a fool to be trifled with. I think He works with us where ever our hearts are ripe to receive Him."
True.
My bestest 'awakening' from our expereinces with TWI, has been the sheer numbers of leadership who here on Greasespot Cafe have openly admitted that the whole time their SIT was made-up and false.
Such would have never occured to me, to ever have faked, or made-such up, or to recite something.
But I have said this many times previously, and likely will say it again. So many who held leadership positions, who taught others, who lead others, who were looked up to, and were yet themselves putting on a false-front.
Matilda, I am glad that you held your heart pure. I am glad that there were a few of us who studied God's Word, put it on in our lives, and did our best to minister to others without 'faking' it.
I recall when I was at Emporia, Martinfart finished his teaching with a "word of prophesy" that lasted about 8 or 9 minutes! When it was over, he received a standing ovation...I kid you not. The guy was so full of himself...and who could forget those torture filled moments when Craigers would have one corps person after another, stand up and give a word of prohesy...only to be criticized and ripped to shreads in front of hundreds of people, as lcm would tell you how you screwed it up...screaming at you...oftentimes stopping you in mid-sentence....Who the hell was he to decide if it was genuine or not? Looking back, it was just another excuse for lcm to be a bully.
How real was it? I think TWI, in general, turned spiritual things into mechanical, physical things...(ie: the waytree instead of the body of Christ, etc. etc.) Tongues?...Was "Wierwille's version" of tongues the real deal? Let each decide for themselves.
i must say that whencalled on { abd was called on often cause i have had theatricl training, with the heavy shakesperian voice} i thought sometimes it might have been real but most of the time phoney and i hated being phoney.but if it blessed the family i thought why not but it just didn't seem real to me. am i condemed to hell.lol again thanks for your imput
In the 12+ years I spent in twi, I never got comfortable with being called on. I almost always "pre-thought" what I would say (or at least a general topic), and the few times that I did not, I really stumbled around. In the beginning, I was sure I would be caught, but it never happened (so much for all that spiritual perception :D-->)
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Shellon
Like other things of my involvement in TWI, I planned ahead and made sure I kept my eyes on the windows and exits, and who was in the room.
Sad,isnt' it, that we had to live like that.
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dmiller
Not I. A mite "nervous" from time to time, but never paranoid.
:)-->
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Nottawayfer
Yes, I was because it wasn't real to me. I struggled with this for almost 20 years while in. I didn't want to disregard the doctrine. That was major bondage to me.
There are quite a few here who were involved in a thread and said they made up their interpretations. I will see if I can try to find that thread. I no longer believe in the way twi taught to sit with interpretation and prophecy. It is not part of my life today, and I do not miss it.
Comfort and exhortation were the goal, but it sure seemed redundant a lot. We were told that if we kept hearing the same things that it meant that God REALLY wanted us to hear it. I think it was a result of poor people HEARING things over and over and over. Rarely would I hear new stuff.
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Cowgirl
I remember two separate incidents when Weirwille came up to Canada to visit, the first incident was a twig fellowship, I was a new grad and I hadn't learned to SIT and interpret yet, but sure enough Weirwille called on me to do it, well I just froze and in the believer's meeting I blurted out "I haven't learned to do it yet" So much for Weirwille receiving revelation on who to call to manifest! When the meeting had ended my twig co-ordinator came over and said "if anything you could of aleast tried, when the "Man of God" calls on you to manifest, YOU JUST DO IT!"
The other incident was a branch fellowship, Weirwille was there leading the meeting and sure enough again he calls on me to manifest, by that time I was not convinced that interpretation of tongues was genuine so I made the whole thing up. Everyone thought it was great and no one knew any different!
The reason I never thought the interpretation of tongues was genuine was the Twig Co-ordinator who was supposedly helping me with it said if you don't have the first few words just make them up and the rest will be there, so from then on I never thought it was the real thing.
So yeah to answer your question, YES I was always scared shi#@### to manifest !!
I have to tell you one more thing that happened to me in regards to learning how to speak in tongues. One of my co-ordinators came over to my place and had just led me into doing it. I was so excited and higher than a kite, I could finally do it!! Well after he left my place I was still pretty excited and I thought I should tape it, to hear what it sounded like. At the time I wasn't sure if I should, maybe I wasn't allowed to or God wouldn't approve of it, but I just had to do it!! I was both scared and excited at the same time! Well I taped about 2 minutes worth. And because of my excitement I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, I pressed the fast forward button instead of rewind so when I went to play it I couldn't hear anything on the tape. Well I just froze, I was stunned, the thoughts running through my head, WOW you can't even tape this stuff, it's so spiritual, so powerful, talk about mind blowing!!!!! So for two whole months I carried this huge secret with me until one day I played the tape again and came across it and realized what I had done. Boy did I ever feel dumb!!
Sorry for the derail!
Cowgirl
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Cindy!
no...but mostly because I noticed that the same people were "called upon" time after time
I noticed that it had nothing to do with the needs of the people there (as had been disclaimed by leader....) but with whom the leader.... thought would come up with the best "party line"
I began noticing this in-rez...and was able to predict with total accuracy whom would be called upon.
Once on the field and after getting out and being in an off-.... in Tallahassee, FL...I noticed the same thing.
The same people were called on consistently.
Spiritual perception and awareness was rarely seen.
It was very sad...those who either really had a gift (and I am so NOT saying that *I* had/have that gift, but I saw others who *DID*) or who were unpracticed were ignored.
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Cowgirl
Oh one more thing...............I could never understand that when it came to the interpretation and prophecy why was it always given in the KING JAMES, like thou, thee, shalt etc., how come not just good old regular english and don't tell me it's because we read the bible in KING JAMES ?!!
Cowgirl
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Cindy!
to answer, Cowgirl (at least in my opinion) see my above post!!!
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Steve!
I was in a fellowship meeting once where no one was called upof for SIT or prophecy - and yet there came a point in the meeting where it just seemed absolutely natural for it to happen, and 3 people were SO inspired that they just did it in turn. That was bar none THE hottest meeting I was ever a part of.
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Stayed Too Long
I was able to sit right away just from reading the holy spirit book, but my twig guy didn't want me to intrepret at twig until compeleting piffle for some reason.
I had no trouble with intrepretating but grew tired of it after awhile as it was the same all the time. I was always so concerned the intrepretation was never longer than the tongue and it was in the correct tense and all that garbage. Took the fun out of it.
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dmiller
Catholic charismatics were the ones who taught me how to speak in tongues. Then (years later) -- in a twig, I was called on to sit, and interpret, before having had the intermediate class. I did it just fine, and some comments from the others there at that meeting were "wow!! you could interpret, and you haven't even taken the intermediate class yet!!"
The twig leader (I forget who it was now), caught holy hell for calling on an *uninitiated* person to do the manifestations!
I did it just like docvic said it should be done, and now I know that he was absolutely wrong about his *version* of interpretation of tongues, and what I did at that meeting was actually a word of prophecy (even though it was prefaced by the s.i.t.), and NOT an interpretation of the tongues that preceded it.
But I think all were blessed by it anyway. I know I was!
:)-->
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Pirate1974
No, I was never paranoid or nervous, mainly because I already knew exactly what I was going to say in case I got nailed.
Basically, the same "words" every time, which sounded like the first person who showed me who sounded exactly like VP in the last session of pfal. The "interpretation" may have changed a tiny bit, but not much, so no sweat.
I'm a good Boy Scout so I believed in being prepared.
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hiway29
I could rattle off a tongues and interpretation , no sweat. I never once believed it was 'from God', but neither did I make it up beforehand. After thousands of believers meetings, and a storehouse of wayspeak ingrained, it became second nature to call on that, with the interpretation the same legth as the tongues. Wow.
My favorite intermediate class incident was an 'excellor session' (yuck) where this guy sit's, then says 'lord help me to accept the things I can't change, and to change the things that I can'or whatever that saying is. A woman in the group then says' Oh-I have that on my refrigerator'.
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tonto
Oh hiway, how funny...how did you keep a straight face when that woman said she had it on her refrigerator?
At my first advanced class someone decided that we all needed to practice singing our tounges with interpretation. I have always had this fear about singing in front of anyone...so I refused and caught flack for it. Hey, you know how people were always telling you to face your fears and you'll get deliviered? Sometimes that's just shookey-doo. What the heck does God almighty care if you don't sing? It's very liberating to just refuse to do what you're afraid of, especially if there is no point in doing it in the first place. I wish I would have refused to go along with everything else that didn't make sense, but wish in one hand and $**! in the other...see which gets full faster.
:)-->
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Belle
I'm with Hiway29. I got to where I could rattle off something if called on. Sometimes I would think through the first couple of words, but the rest of it just came out once I got started. I could never buy that it was "from God" because it was always laced with the "phrase of the week" or whatever agenda TWI was pushing at the time.
I also remember vee pee talking about being okay to say whatever God told you to say and gave the "I hollared and hollared" example, but while I was in, if someone were to talk like that they would get scolded and told that God didn't talk like that.
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George Aar
Like Belle and Hiway, I pretty well figured I could handle it, should I get called on.
It was simple role-playing, and we (mostly) knew our parts pretty well after awhile.
Maybe if the Vickster had rung a bell we'd a all started salivating (it always worked fer Craig)?
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MATILDA
Many times "manifestations" were a real inspiration and blessing..and I took them with a big grain of salt.
Many times in a meeting,when I was there to hear the Word and get my heart tenderized and when I least felt like I was a ripe candidate to "manifest," I was called on to do so.
I always did. And it was never made up...it was instant and honest, to the point and right from the heart. Whether it was inspiration, in spirit action, or whatever, I always just gave it to God and acted immediately.
What always blew my mind was that it was easy to relinquish whatever baggage I walked in with...and let God move in me to do as He pleased, and believingly, hopefully, lovingly let those words flow.
I am not a phony, nor am I delusional. It was always a personal affirmation to me, that I was not just making things up...I spoke as the Spirit moved me to do so...and I don't mean that in some supersilious religious way.
Now I should say, (if, in fact anyone is reading this far into the post) that I have never seen or heard "manifestations" as such, anywhere else but in a twig fellowship...and many times I heard struggling folks speak in contrived, unnatural language...a religious affection, if you will...but heartfelt...even that I could take at face value...just listening and applying the heart of it, or just letting the words sandblast off a spiritual crustiness that often barnacled its way onto me.
God is no piker and a fool to be trifled with. I think He works with us where ever our hearts are ripe to receive Him.
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Oakspear
Excellors sessions...sheesh
-->
God gives the utterance? Then how can you decide what sound the word is going to start with?
What if it's a language that doesn't have the "B" sound? Or has the clicks and pops of Xhosa?
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nandon
i loved getting called on, to the point that if i didn't get called on i got kind of mad, i was a real wierdo.
when i got called on i just blasted it, i felt like i was belting a poem that god had inspired in me.
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Galen
MATILDA-
"Many times "manifestations" were a real inspiration and blessing..and I took them with a big grain of salt.
Many times in a meeting, when .... I was called on to do so. I always did. And it was never made up...it was instant and honest, to the point and right from the heart. Whether it was inspiration, in spirit action, or whatever, I always just gave it to God and acted immediately.
What always blew my mind was that it was easy to relinquish whatever baggage I walked in with...and let God move in me to do as He pleased, and believingly, hopefully, lovingly let those words flow.
I am not a phony, nor am I delusional. It was always a personal affirmation to me, that I was not just making things up...I spoke as the Spirit moved me to do so...and I don't mean that in some supersilious religious way."
I agree entirely. This has been 100% my experience with SIT.
"God is no piker and a fool to be trifled with. I think He works with us where ever our hearts are ripe to receive Him."
True.
My bestest 'awakening' from our expereinces with TWI, has been the sheer numbers of leadership who here on Greasespot Cafe have openly admitted that the whole time their SIT was made-up and false.
Such would have never occured to me, to ever have faked, or made-such up, or to recite something.
But I have said this many times previously, and likely will say it again. So many who held leadership positions, who taught others, who lead others, who were looked up to, and were yet themselves putting on a false-front.
Matilda, I am glad that you held your heart pure. I am glad that there were a few of us who studied God's Word, put it on in our lives, and did our best to minister to others without 'faking' it.
Bless you.
:-)
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GrouchoMarxJr
I recall when I was at Emporia, Martinfart finished his teaching with a "word of prophesy" that lasted about 8 or 9 minutes! When it was over, he received a standing ovation...I kid you not. The guy was so full of himself...and who could forget those torture filled moments when Craigers would have one corps person after another, stand up and give a word of prohesy...only to be criticized and ripped to shreads in front of hundreds of people, as lcm would tell you how you screwed it up...screaming at you...oftentimes stopping you in mid-sentence....Who the hell was he to decide if it was genuine or not? Looking back, it was just another excuse for lcm to be a bully.
How real was it? I think TWI, in general, turned spiritual things into mechanical, physical things...(ie: the waytree instead of the body of Christ, etc. etc.) Tongues?...Was "Wierwille's version" of tongues the real deal? Let each decide for themselves.
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WordWolf
I think some of it was contrived,
and some of it was real.
I say in my case-and in the case of MANY people-it was real.
In fact, the very first time I sit'd and interpreted,
the results were anything BUT what I expected,
but, upon later reflection,
what the people in that room needed to here right then.
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
thank you all for your replies to my post.
i must say that whencalled on { abd was called on often cause i have had theatricl training, with the heavy shakesperian voice} i thought sometimes it might have been real but most of the time phoney and i hated being phoney.but if it blessed the family i thought why not but it just didn't seem real to me. am i condemed to hell.lol again thanks for your imput
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Ham
You could have had some real fun with that accent. After speaking in tongues- "to be, or not to be, that is da question..."
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2fortheroad
In the 12+ years I spent in twi, I never got comfortable with being called on. I almost always "pre-thought" what I would say (or at least a general topic), and the few times that I did not, I really stumbled around. In the beginning, I was sure I would be caught, but it never happened (so much for all that spiritual perception
:D-->)
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