Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe
penguin2

Another layer I haven't unraveled

Recommended Posts

First, I don't know where this should belong...

Here's my issue,  the Way and the law of believing...

I have been gone from twi more than ten years and landed in churches that have veins of Word/faith beliefs.

I am struggling with my health and trying to figure out how to have trust and stay hopeful for healing in regards to cancer.  I have been in remission/follow up for a bit but now have some abnormal results that require additional testing. Basically been diagnosed with ptsd due to the trauma from previous diagnosis and treatment.

Any help trying unravel the pressure i put on myself to be the shunamite woman and pretend like everything is and will be okay?  It's not working.  Trying not to embrace fear and anxiety, but I melted down last night.  There's threads of a belief that a good mom wouldn't die on her kids....Let's just say I was told by magn***lies that I wouldn't be a good mom or wife....so part of me is trying to avoid being a failure since I was dropped from active corps over twenty years ago and I guess I believed them that I had failed at that.  also really don't want twi to think they are right about people getting sick if they leave. Still have family that are in...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The magpies are full of sh1t.  I'm so sorry for your struggles and what you are going through.  For encouragement, we all do have an expiration date upon this earth.  We all do not necessarily know when that date is, in spite of our struggles or facts we are faced with currently. 

This is all the more reason to live the days we do have left like we want to.  Like a warrior.  With our kids.

  

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember a number of years ago visiting Washington state.  During that time we took a ferry across to Orcas Island and spent a little time there.  We ended up seeing a slide show and a piano presentation in a small theater at this place called Rosario.  Apparently this place was built by a former mayor of Seattle who was a shipping magnate.  He had been diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live by doctors.  He retired from Seattle and moved to Rosario on Orcas island and took care of himself and relaxed and enjoyed it.  Instead of dying in a few months he ended up living 20 years more to the end of his normal life expectancy.  During that time he developed his interest in black and white photography, and ended up having an extensive collection drawn upon by the city of Seattle for turn of the century history in Seattle.  

I hope stories like these are encouraging to you.  My prayers go out for sure.  My vision for your living each day in peace and victory one day at a time.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, penguin2 said:

First, I don't know where this should belong...

Here's my issue,  the Way and the law of believing...

I have been gone from twi more than ten years and landed in churches that have veins of Word/faith beliefs.

I am struggling with my health and trying to figure out how to have trust and stay hopeful for healing in regards to cancer.  I have been in remission/follow up for a bit but now have some abnormal results that require additional testing. Basically been diagnosed with ptsd due to the trauma from previous diagnosis and treatment.

Any help trying unravel the pressure i put on myself to be the shunamite woman and pretend like everything is and will be okay?  It's not working.  Trying not to embrace fear and anxiety, but I melted down last night.  There's threads of a belief that a good mom wouldn't die on her kids....Let's just say I was told by magn***lies that I wouldn't be a good mom or wife....so part of me is trying to avoid being a failure since I was dropped from active corps over twenty years ago and I guess I believed them that I had failed at that.  also really don't want twi to think they are right about people getting sick if they leave. Still have family that are in...

 

 

I had the same issue with the law of believing, which is crap. Put and keep your faith, believing in God and Jesus Christ, we arent responsible to fulfill God's promises, God is. We receive through trust in God. Let your heart rest in God's goodness. And forget about making people happy, keep your thoughts focused on rhings above. Im on lunch and in a hurry, but please private message me. I have dealt with so very much with my sons health, and have lived through the self loathing that judgement from others brings. Much love!

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, penguin2 said:

Here's my issue,  the Way and the law of believing...

yeah, well... you weren't (or aren't) alone with that issue.  Perhaps this will help (or at least, ease your mind.)

5 hours ago, penguin2 said:

I have been gone from twi more than ten years and landed in churches that have veins of Word/faith beliefs.

There is something incredibly powerful that a sufficiently disciplined mind appears to touch upon. (So it should not be without caution that words and thoughts are brought to bear on such matters.)  However, if no clear distinction is made or drawn between the works of the law (which encompasses the totality of anything that you, me or any man can do) and the grace of God (which none of us really understand the fullness of), then how is anyone ever very sure or how much their life (however it's being lived) is in harmony with God? So what if "your believing" (call it whatever you will) gets you to what you might think is a better position or place in this life, if it's only wood, hay or stubble that all ends up going away one day?

5 hours ago, penguin2 said:

I am struggling with my health and trying to figure out how to have trust and stay hopeful for healing in regards to cancer.  I have been in remission/follow up for a bit but now have some abnormal results that require additional testing. Basically been diagnosed with ptsd due to the trauma from previous diagnosis and treatment.

Those are tough shoes for anyone to walk in (and I sure can't.) What I can share, though, is the perspective I see that Paul would have on this and ... well, on most everything, actually.

Philippians 4

[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
[7] And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

That pretty much covers how I think prayer (and believing) should be taught.  We make our requests known to God, and the answer (to say it in those terms) back to us is this --> that the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keeps our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.   (So, we let it go at that.  Let go, and let God... for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.  That's just something that no one else can dictate to you. )

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mr I'm-the-super-believer wierwille was supposed to be Par Excellence for the so-called "law" of believing, the "law" that has failed so many people, so many times.  Supposedly, his believing was the Top Tier on the planet, so it should have been a piece of cake for him to believe for more years. Instead, he died too young.  In his final hours, he was STILL the captive of his own teaching- he was literally trying to figure out what was blocking his ability to believe for his own healing.  Even as death approached, he wouldn't, or couldn't, be honest with himself.  You don't have a "prison" of your own making, in your mind.  You do, however, have a "prison" that HE made.   Step outside of it. The entire "Word-Faith" thing has shown to be toxic.  When people suffer, the "Word-Faith" people are REQUIRED to blame them, kicking a man when he's down.  Miserable comforters blaming those suffering are as old as the book of Job.   They were wrong then and they're wrong now.

  • Like 3
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, penguin2 said:

First, I don't know where this should belong...

Here's my issue,  the Way and the law of believing...

I have been gone from twi more than ten years and landed in churches that have veins of Word/faith beliefs.

I am struggling with my health and trying to figure out how to have trust and stay hopeful for healing in regards to cancer.  I have been in remission/follow up for a bit but now have some abnormal results that require additional testing. Basically been diagnosed with ptsd due to the trauma from previous diagnosis and treatment.

Any help trying unravel the pressure i put on myself to be the shunamite woman and pretend like everything is and will be okay?  It's not working.  Trying not to embrace fear and anxiety, but I melted down last night.  There's threads of a belief that a good mom wouldn't die on her kids....Let's just say I was told by magn***lies that I wouldn't be a good mom or wife....so part of me is trying to avoid being a failure since I was dropped from active corps over twenty years ago and I guess I believed them that I had failed at that.  also really don't want twi to think they are right about people getting sick if they leave. Still have family that are in...

 

 

That’s a tough one Penguin2...you certainly have my thoughts and prayers right now...going on my own experience i feel that anyone that gets into the law of believing, the health and wealth gospel , the power of the tongue, etc. will tend to put themselves under needless pressure in hopes of achieving the desired result...

 

I do get the idea of having a fighter attitude but I don’t think that means to beat up on yourself...I recently saw a news spot about a young girl with a prosthetic leg who was a gymnast - and she was doing things that were amazingly nimble on high beam and floor mats...at the end in an interview I don’t remember how she put it exactly- but she was looking at her prosthetic leg and said rather than succumb to self-pity she said something like “this is the way it is now and this is what I’m going to do about it”...

 

I remember some of the ways life is portrayed in the Bible (from Rick Warren’s “Purpose Driven Life” ) is that life is a test, an assignment, and a journey...for some biblical inspiration on having a fighter attitude I look to the lives and tough circumstances of folks like Peter, Paul and of course Jesus Christ...I don’t think the fight is really about beating down the negatives or pretending all is well...it’s about seeing things as they really are now and deciding what we’re going to do (and think) about it so we can carry on.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, T-Bone said:

...it’s about seeing things as they really are now and deciding what we’re going to do (and think) about it so we can carry on.

Yes T-Bone. Great point. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I ( personally ) have found 'believing' to work. It's actually believing IN believing...and then taking up the necessary 'works' to hook up to your faith. As a side note, my wife and I were told ( by leadership in the R&R movement ) that when we left the way our kids would grow up to be homos. 20 years later we have 7 grand children :biglaugh:

  • Like 2
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Penguin2, so sorry about the diagnosis that you've been given.  I do believe that God desires health and healing for all, including and always, YOU; He made your magnificent body and He knows how to fix it.  (But neither should we be foolish enough to ignore that sometimes the magnificence isn't fixed in this lifetime).  Get pushy and demand healing.  Meantime, while you're waiting, do what your docs tell you, and try to relax and enjoy life.  Keep giving, keep sharing the gospel.

 

And as to what the Mags told you: as the truth is usually diametrically opposite to what phony leadership pronounced, I'd suggest that instead of being the failure the Mags prophesied, you acknowledge they are false prophets; and the real truth is that you are in fact, in truth, a good wife and mom.  Throw some ice-cold water on their fiery dart.  You are still a seeker after God and the Lord Jesus, and that makes you anything but a failure.  Jesus never called anyone a failure.  He called them dear friends, companions, and empowered them. 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Twinky said:

Penguin2, so sorry about the diagnosis that you've been given.  I do believe that God desires health and healing for all, including and always, YOU; He made your magnificent body and He knows how to fix it.  (But neither should we be foolish enough to ignore that sometimes the magnificence isn't fixed in this lifetime).  Get pushy and demand healing.  Meantime, while you're waiting, do what your docs tell you, and try to relax and enjoy life.  Keep giving, keep sharing the gospel.

 

And as to what the Mags told you: as the truth is usually diametrically opposite to what phony leadership pronounced, I'd suggest that instead of being the failure the Mags prophesied, you acknowledge they are false prophets; and the real truth is that you are in fact, in truth, a good wife and mom.  Throw some ice-cold water on their fiery dart.  You are still a seeker after God and the Lord Jesus, and that makes you anything but a failure.  Jesus never called anyone a failure.  He called them dear friends, companions, and empowered them. 

Hi Penguin2,

I think you put your post in a fine place. I'm glad several greasespotters have given you encouragement and comfort.

I'm reminded of something Jesus is quoted in John 16:33 as saying. And that an author who helped me break free from the mental and emotional chains from TWI. M. Scott Peck opens his book, The Road Less Traveled with this simple three word sentence: "Life is difficult."

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I don't want to sound preachy. The bottom line is, IMO, what Twinky shared above.

Love and peace to you, my sister.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, definitely some great words of wisdom.  I appreciate all everyone here has done to help me get free of most of my way brain.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/5/2018 at 6:48 AM, penguin2 said:

First, I don't know where this should belong...

Here's my issue,  the Way and the law of believing...

I have been gone from twi more than ten years and landed in churches that have veins of Word/faith beliefs.

I am struggling with my health and trying to figure out how to have trust and stay hopeful for healing in regards to cancer.  I have been in remission/follow up for a bit but now have some abnormal results that require additional testing. Basically been diagnosed with ptsd due to the trauma from previous diagnosis and treatment.

Any help trying unravel the pressure i put on myself to be the shunamite woman and pretend like everything is and will be okay?  It's not working.  Trying not to embrace fear and anxiety, but I melted down last night.  There's threads of a belief that a good mom wouldn't die on her kids....Let's just say I was told by magn***lies that I wouldn't be a good mom or wife....so part of me is trying to avoid being a failure since I was dropped from active corps over twenty years ago and I guess I believed them that I had failed at that.  also really don't want twi to think they are right about people getting sick if they leave. Still have family that are in...

 

 

Pen, I too had Cancer fourteen years ago.  People get Cancer for various reasons; it had nothing to do with leaving TWI.  I think you were very smart to leave TWI; what a bunch of losers.  Please seek out medical advice, and then do as your doctors suggest.  If you can, you might want to join a Cancer Support group.  Nowdays, a diagnosis of Cancer, isn't necessarily a death sentence.  Bless you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Grace Valerie Claire said:

Pen, I too had Cancer fourteen years ago.  People get Cancer for various reasons; it had nothing to do with leaving TWI.  I think you were very smart to leave TWI; what a bunch of losers.  Please seek out medical advice, and then do as your doctors suggest.  If you can, you might want to join a Cancer Support group.  Nowdays, a diagnosis of Cancer, isn't necessarily a death sentence.  Bless you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks. Been doing what dr. Says. Just was such a rare one no one seems to know a lot about it.  I have been in remission for a year and a half. Praying i still am and for wisdom for us and Dr if not....

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Penguin2, I don't post very often so you probably haven't seen my name. In 1994, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. This was after being kicked out of FWC 20 a year earlier. The Corps where we lived offered no comfort, and busily set about trying to figure out where I had "blown it" for God to smite me thus.

THIS IS BULL CRAP!

I will tell you what a REAL man of God said to me. We live in a broken world. Our bodies are finite but our Father is infinite

 I can tell you one thing. You did not bring this upon yourself by any sin or lack of faith on your part. God will heal you here or in heaven. He is faithful. He knows you better than you know yourself. He loves you more than you can imagine.

 

  • Like 1
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...